Saturday, 13 October 2018

A few more Jaw droppers.

                                                                Jaw Droppers.

In the British Royal Navy, Bagpipes are referred to as Agony pipes or Porridge Guns.

In 17th -  Century England, effigies of Guy Fawkes were stuffed with live cats to make the figure Scream as it burned at the stake.

Beatles, John Lennon and Paul McCartney both had cats named Jesus.

Oymyakon in Russia is the coldest place on Earth; its only hotel has no hot water and an outside Dunny ie Toilet.

Mothers over 40 years of age are twice as likely to have Left-handed children as women in their twenties.

Until the20th century, left-handedness in a wife was grounds for divorce in Japan.

There are six villages in France called silly, twelve called Billy and two called prat.

There are eleven places in Utah USA called Mollys Nipple, Mollie's nipple or Molleys Nipple.

The 1978 Chess final at the HM Prison Wormwood scrubs in London England was contested between the "Moors Murderer' Ian Brady and disgraced member of the British Parliament Mr John Stonehouse.

Professional Cricketers who recently retired from giving their heart and soul to their former club Hampshire were named, Asher Hart and Chris Sole.

The very large sports stadium in Mumbai India, ( formerly Bombay) is called the "Wankhede Stadium".

There are Villages in County Durham England named No place and Pity me.

The people of France and Belgium acquired their taste for Horse flesh after the Battle of Waterloo when 10,000 horses were killed in battle.

The first 'Skyscraper was a particularly tall horse that won the English Epson Derby in 1780.

After the1945 General election in Great Britain, the Given names of the three political parties leaders
were CLEMENT Attlee  (labour) CLEMENT Davies (Liberal) and the wife of Winston Churchill (conservative) was CLEMENTINE...'. Now sadly "Lost and Gone Forever"

VEST Daily Gaggle. . More next week or soon.

Have a lovely Week-end. .

Thursday, 11 October 2018

The new Harvey Norman Flagship Store ..A lot of Balls.

The new store opening in Auburn NSW in Australia described as a flagship store will or should I say must have a flag likened to that of the flag of merry England flying above its pretentious setting in skidrow surroundings like Auburn.  plus an Ex retired Admiral a member of its board of staff running the So-called flagship.
The admiral's flag is similar to the English flag of St George,. The vice admirals flag has a Red ball in the top left canton and the rear admiral two red balls in the left cantons.
 The misuse of the term flagship by out of touch ignorant pretentious high flyers, silver tails and the like should be ignored or banned unless the person is a Clam meaning a latter-day bloke reverting to female and without any testimonials.
Some of the store owners unsavoury dealing in the past were remembered by myself although press reports seeing him or his staff as squeaky clean did not come over as such about five years ago when I paid up front for a fifty-litre box  Freezer to be delivered. What arrived was not which I had ordered. It was shop soiled and had dents and was marked and not in its factory packing, It was returned to the store by the same delivery truck. Later we called at the store for a refund and travelled 20 klms to another store "The Good Guys" And bought a similar but a later model for less.

Definition of a flagship is any Repeat any type of warship large OR Small which carries an admiral within the command of the ship. The higher the rank of the admiral, the fewer balls he will have...on his flag.

Vest Daily Gaggle.  Back soon.

Wednesday, 10 October 2018

Bread Rationing in Great Britain 1946- 1948.

Words for Wednesday this week use the theme  'The best thing since sliced bread'

    During WW2, Bread was not rationed within the British Isles except for the Occupied Channel Islands.

It was on my mother's 47th birthday, and she let us be boringly reminded of it in later years. It was announced in parliament by the Food minister Ben Smith(or was it, ( John Strachey)  That the rationing of Bread, Flour and Flour confectionaries were to be rationed due to inadequate supplies reaching former European countries occupied by the Axis powers like France Holland  Belgium and Germany as well as most of Europe.

This news on the 21st of July 1946, was not *The best thing since Sliced Bread to people in Great Britain most of whom failed to understand the reason for its introduction., the cause being supply and demand during the war being reduced by less production  in grain exporting countries such as the USA & Canada due to less demand much of the produce in the1940 season went to waste, however, it took some two years before grain producing countries returned to normal production after WW2  and bread rationing ceased in Britain on July 24 1948.

And all the thin and scraggy Europeans became fat and unhealthy after gorging themselves to obesity by eating lots of sugary iced doughnuts. lovely yummy yum...

Vest  Daily gaggle

Friday, 5 October 2018

A Few more jaw droppers.

Most of these jaw-droppers are close to the truth.

   Until the1920's television was also known as Hear -  seeing by Wireless, Optiphone., Farscape and the electric telescope.

The French company Bich changed its name to Bic to stop people in English speaking countries pronouncing it 'Bitch'.

The 'Cassowary' is an Australian Flightless bird the size of an is also known as a Casserole containing unspecified ingredients.

A popular Roman hangover cure was deep fried Canary. .The Canary Islands in Spanish means the 'Dog Islands'.   Methinks that ye olde Roman cure was really the original 'Hot dog containing Es Span-ial Meat.

King James 1 of England only ever washed the tips of his fingers., and King Louis X111 was never bathed until he was almost a seven year old.

Octopuses and Squids taste with their testicles oop's sorry mistake I meant to say Tentacles.

North Americans.account for one-sixteenth of the people of the world but more than a third of their weight.

True. being a witness at the time,  On Passing each other at Spithead Isle of Wight Uk in the spring of 1948. HMS King George V A battleship heading for Portsmouth signalled to the RMS Queen Mary a Liner leaving Southampton. '" It is a rare moment in time for the King to meet his Queen on a misty spring morning.'Bon Voyage".

It has never been proven that the consumption of boiled hen's teeth is a cure for baldness.

In 1879, The Belgian city of Li'ege commissioned 37 cats to deliver mail to nearby villages. Not surprising, the project was a complete failure.

Finally True is that the brothers  Leslie Harry Compton b 1912 and Better known brother Denis Charles Scot  Compton.b 1918. Were English international sportsmen, both excelled in their time playing for the MIDDLESEX Cricket team and the ARSENAL football club. And they were not Clams.

More next week ..Vest Daily Gaggle.

Wednesday, 3 October 2018

Words For Wednesday.All the fun of the fair.

The words this week are proposed by Margaret Adamson and Sue Fulton.  They are Precipitation. Lanky. Grotesque. Clockwork. Still. & and; Transporting. My story gleaned from them is headed  'All the Fun of  The Fair'.

        The picturesque village of Frogsbotton lies in a small hidden valley within the Chiltern hills of Oxfordshire in England. Ancient thatched cottages line the several un-navigable lanes following the fast flowing village Brook.

 Frogsbottom named after the17th-century licentious second Earl of Frogsbottomar- although many years had passed since this nobleman had gone to hell the vibes from his tomb within the gothic church of Saint Robin The Thief was *still, to say the least;  frightening.

Of the one hundred, or more villagers most carried the same facial features and habitual traits which set them apart from inhabitants from surrounding villagers. the prime cause of this phenomenon is the seed of the Earl which had germinated the loins of most of the village maidens during his wicked lifetime.

Strange stories abound in the village of *grotesque atrocities hangings and beheadings, headless horsemen and the like which give the jitters to unwary visitors *transporting them back in time Giving out the feeling something awful could happen at any moment Also the fun fair which had descended on the village proved to be not as funny as was expected.

The centrepiece of the show was to be the newfangled  'Roundabout'; or' if you prefer a ' carousel' and at a rip off price of a penny a ride the most exciting experience for the day. the local village idiot could perceive, one whose height could cause a weather precipitation a large lanky lad of grotesque appearance headed for the carousel designed to accommodate normal people,

 After leaping on the wooden horse he was told to keep his head down during the ride. Soon after completing several circuits of bouncing and noise and frivolity from other children The *lanky lad stood tall in his saddle waving to onlookers as he cheered.

Sadly the lanky lads cheering was brief and for one *clockwork circuit of the Carousel, His head being removed by a steel parallel support frame. Screams of horror from other children complimented the ghastly event. simply another to be recorded by the historians of Frogsbottom.

Vest ... Daily Gaggle.

Saturday, 29 September 2018

More jaw droppers. From Vest. D G.

 During the nineteenth century Entry into the tower of London was free if you brought a cat or a dog to feed to the lions.

Charles 11 of England Wore stilettos to his coronation. (Another Clam).

At least 170  Civil (Public) servants in the Uk are paid more than the prime minister.

Plants grow more quickly if you talk to them especially if you are a person named Prince Charles.

The rarest flower in Great Britain is the ladies slipper orchid, a single specimen lives on a golf course in Lancashire under police protection.

In French, Avocat means both 'Lawyer' and 'Avacado'.In German, Strauss means both Ostrich and bunch of flowers. In Norsk (Norwegian),pa'legg is anything that could be conceivably be put in a sandwich.

All man's life among men is nothing more than a battle for the ears of others. But to talk to yourself when alone is folly, it must be doubly unwise to listen to one's self in the presence of others.

The politician is trained in the art of inexactitude. Their words tend to be blunt or rounded because if they have a cutting edge they may later return to wound them..

Of president Don the frump. To watch him fumbling with our rich and delicate language is like seeing a Se'vres vase in the hands of a Chimpanzee.

In the early years of the past century and up to the seventies  Men involved with moving house during the weekends of the warm summer months and .who owned wire sprung beds, were often foolish enough to sit on them in their Underwear prior to the mattress was laid. Fire and rescue crews treated hundreds of such cases.
Single dwellers in isolated areas without access to a phone or neighbours to hear him yelling were the most at risk. One poor soul was trapped for two days by his genitals.only the postman delivering the mail on Tuesday saved the poor guy. from death before desexing.; and becoming a Clam.

And finally. A Diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Vest. Daily Gaggle.

Friday, 28 September 2018

Belated Words

This is not the original story intended for words this week, the previous Yarn was derailed by Google’s saving option which failed. I tried all of the recovery options to no avail.
I am not bent on becoming stoned or wallow in self-pity, I am simply not going to give up, I shall bridle my resources and endeavour to write something worthwhile.
It has recently come to my notice that my five sons are not united in their love for one another, the dislike for the incorrigible No 5 son is common, plus 2 and 4 don’t see eye to eye but whatever their differences it is of no concern to me.
Personally, I  never try to change people’s opinion of myself, if they like me -they like me if they don’t well they don’t. If you have enemies? Good, it means you have stood up for something sometime in your life. And if people don’t like you that is their problem., not yours. Maybe their sports team lost the night before or they are having a bad day, maybe you remind them of the kid who pushed them around at school. Don’t waste your time on those who do not like you, and put that energy to those who do.
The exciting part of the aging process is the bit where you start to care less about what people think about you. Alternatively, if everyone doesn’t like you, perhaps you should consider adopting a Dog, who will love you unconditionally.
We need words to keep us human. Being Human is an accomplishment like playing the Piano, it takes practice.

Vest daily Gaggle... Back soon.

Thursday, 27 September 2018

Saturday, 22 September 2018

A few more jaw droppers.

         Not for the squeamish, I hope you will remember that!!.

 The words  Proctalgia, Proctalgia, Pygnalgia and Rectalgia, all mean 'Pain in the Backside'.

Before dentists chairs were invented, the patients head was clenched between the surgeon's Knees.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. And the first Guillotine was built by a harpsichord maker.

80% of plane crashes occur in the first three or last eight minutes of a flight.

Spiders can survive underwater by entering a self-induced coma.

Spiders in Great Britain outnumber people by more than 500 to one. If all the spiders were Brazilian wandering spiders the population would be ten times more.

A Brazillian Work foreman applied to his company for housing entitlement being he had recently married. In his letter, he wrote Dear Boss I am now Married and require a permanent erection.
His Boss replied, 'Go take a walk in the Jungle and stop putting the Bite on our struggling company.

A bite from a Brazilian wandering spider results in an erection that lasts for several hours. This particular spider is often referred to as the Honeymoon spider.

The last speaker of the Amazonian language was a parrot.

Edgar Allen Poe's poem "The Raven" was originally going to be about a talking parrot, seemingly bitten by a Brazilian  Wandering Spider. The poem was considered to be too explicit for publication.

Question. 'What do most convicted rapists in Brazil use as an excuse for their crime.?

The study of words is not the right thing for a person without a memory.

Linguistic analysis means a lot of people pointing out that we don't always mean what we say, even when we say what we mean.

Vest. More soon.

Thursday, 20 September 2018

No Wednesday Words this week.

     Most of my blogging time has been devoured by the weekly shopping expedition, doctors appointments - work around the house and family business. and nodding off with exhaustion during the day.
 I went to bed last night at 1145 PM, and I was up again at 6 45AM about an hour ago as I write. Not having slept a wink all night.  Both moggies and I have had breakfast and shortly I shall shower and then prepare Dinner, There on I shall probably nod off for a while and hopefully feel tired at the proper time tonight. At this point in time, I am not thinking too clearly.

Back soon Vest.

Sunday, 16 September 2018

Sunday.Jaw droppers with a fishy ending..

The oldest animal ever found was a 405-year-old Icelandic clam. It was killed by researchers trying to work out its age. But by then it was assumed to be female As it was perceived to be much older each day at 3 30PM. But it was still called 'Tim'.

The word ' journey' is from the French journe'e, and once meant the distance one could walk in one day.

The Swahili for the journey; is Safari.

The Barramundi is an Australian fish praised for its exquisite taste, but tasteless compared to that of Nth Atlantic Cod.

The nectar of citrus plants contains caffeine to attract bees.

King Henry VIII, put a tax on beards in 1535 but made sure his own was exempt.

King David 1, in Scotland. gave tax rebates to subjects with good table manners.

Lalochezia is Using swearing to relieve the stress of pain.

King John of England was named 'Soft sword' for his feeble Military and boudoir activities.

William the Conqueror the Duke of Normandy had been in England a fortnight before the Battle of Hastings in 1066. Similar to the Three old ladies locked in the Lavatory; 'Nobody knew he was there'.

During the Hundred years war, the French called the English 'Godons' because they were always shouting 'Godam'.

And Finally.

Two retired Australian aboriginal gentlemen were preparing for their journey home to the 'black Stump camp some ten Miles from the coast. They had hung their socks on the end of their spears close to the fish they had caught that day in order to deter the marauding flies.

On arrival to their humble homestead, they were greeted by a White man who seemed anxious to explain the wonderful workings of the small cart with a wheel which was able to carry several spear loads of fish in comfort and save a lot of human energy.

After a trial with the wheelbarrow, one of the Aborigine men announced, " we will take the Barramundi on our next fishing trip.

That's all folk, More soon.. Vest Daily Gaggle.

Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Words for Wednesday.

The words proposed by Delores are

Left. Batchelor. Dripping. Movies. Doorway. Mansion.

   Wayward Batchelor Earl Snodgrass, waited in the shelter of the stable. Although Dripping wet from the rain,  he knew this would be the best opportunity to access the interior of the Mansion.

The current owner a card shark had recently sold the Mansion; the former property of Snoddy lost in a poker game. for cash to a local drug lord, who with friends were attending a new movie in town and dinner laid on by the real estate agent- another crook.

Snoddy did not wait long before the revellers returned. a dozen or so rushed from their cars through the rain to the doorway opened by the butler, Snoddy seizing his chance dressed in a hoody joined the guests then after entering hid in a secret hiding place known only to himself.

Snoddy had the new keys to the safe containing Two Million Dollars in cash. The keys were provided by the locksmith's daughter who had earlier copied them and was waiting to pick up Snoddy during the silent hours and speed to the airport and a flight to Costa Rica The Rich Coast in South America. Good luck Snoddy.

Vest Daily Gaggle. back soon.

Jaw droppers. on wednesday

                                          Have a giggle at these.

Second Street is the most common street name in the USA. First Street is the third most common.

Most Clams begin life as Males, but half of them turn female when older (Tim you are a Clam!.)

The green zone golf club is on the border of Finland and Sweden: half of the holes are in one country and a half in the other.

The first woman to play golf was Mary Queen of Scotts.

Bruce Lee, was Hong Kong's Cha-Cha dance champion.

Women look their oldest at3,30 pm on Wednesday. I am lost for words. (Again).

George W Bush was a college cheerleader (Possibly a clam).

The oldest dance still performed is the Austrian shoe - slapping dance.

Nudiustertian means'relating to the day before yesterday.

Vest... Daily Gaggle.

Thursday, 6 September 2018

Words on Wednesday Discovered on Thursday.

 Words this week are supplied by Delores at; Mumblings

Hitch, Quack, Curtains, Deplorable.Mundane, Ravelled.
My unhappy story Goe's.---

     During my later years, visits to my local Quack IE Doctor at my local hospital have become quite Mundane, most visits go along without a Hitch-even when having to display one's essentials when stripped.
However, a recent visit to the hospital left me Un- Ravelled when two young trainee nurses entered the room- which I found Deplorable, although the procedure they were witnessing was behind closed curtains, the doctor explained it was part of the nurses training.  nevertheless I myself found it to be totally embarrassing.

 I must admit what happens under anesthetic one is rarely aware of, but in broad daylight, it is a different matter.
Vest... Daily Gaggle.

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

Words undiscovered this week.

 I failed to find words this week so I have substituted some factual nonsense instead.
 One in 7 UK used banknotes carry traces of anal bacteria, In Zimbabwe, Most banknotes are used as cheap toilet paper.

 Winnie Pooh's real name is  Edward Bear.

It is illegal in China to show TV  Ads for haemorrhoid cream during mealtimes.

 The offspring of a Polar bear and a Grizzly bear is called Pizzlybear.

Jrr Tolkien and Adolf Hitler, both fought in the battle of the Somme during WW1.

During Adolf Hitlers years in power, his book Mein Kampf was given freely to all newlyweds

'Dogging in German means, Jogging with your dog and other activities.
The Asian firm of Samsung's first product was fish

More than half of the fish marketed as Tuna in the USA, Is not Tuna
My last couple of weeks has been swallowed up with medical, social. family and  other unexpected activities.
Back soon, Vest.

Monday, 27 August 2018

Today in History Tokyo Bay.

  August 27, 1945, 73 years ago today The Battle Ships USS MISSOURI, HMS KING GEORGE V,& HMS DUKE OF YORK, enter TOKYO Harbour.

As a nineteen-year-old at that time, I felt some  emotion as my Ship The HMS  KG V  & Vice Admiral Bernard Rawlings had served the full two terms during the past conflict and followed the HMS  Duke Of York into Tokyo harbour which had not fired an angry shot and was newly arrived with a more senior admiral - Admiral Bruce Fraser ( Affectionally Known as The Station-master of the Fleet Train (Logistic vessells)  Who served his time in a Sydney office while the crew of  HMS  Duke of York enjoyed the Joys of Sydney
Unfortunately, there was a great deal of disrespect shown in many ways toward this Rank pulling by Admiral Frazer and the smell never went away, letters from men of the British Pacific Fleet vilified him but there was never an apology from  Admiral Frazer.

  Vest Daily Gaggle.
 Some Smells last forever.

Wednesday, 22 August 2018

Cock-a doodle-doo.

Words for this Wednesday are.
 Yellow. Zinnias. Adjust. Boots. Chicken. Doomed.

  I remember well my pre-teenage years at the home of my adopted family within a  village in the English countryside. The front garden of the house was dedicated to flowers as was the custom and adorned with a variety of flowers. Although * Zinnias had become popular. Zinnias seeds dominated the soil and proved a pestilence to other varieties and other floral varieties were *doomed to extinction.

 The rear garden or behind the house and adjoining half an acre was deemed as industrial which included a large shed and *Chicken pens also a few goats and vegetable beds' where quite often a few loose chickens which somehow had escaped from the pen would be scratching around the soil. of course, chasing after these escapees in rubber boots would be a futile exercise They would eventually find their way back to the pen at roosting time in the evening. after which one was able to *adjust the hole in the wire netting.
Keeping a check on the age of the chickens was quite simple. New arrivals from hatchings after a few weeks, were fitted with the colour of that year flexible bakelite spring rings around one leg, from memory these rings were either red *yellow or green, those chickens wearing a ring denoting they were three years old were doomed for the cooking pot.
Unfortunately for chooks born male, their demise was somewhat earlier, due to the fact that only the more robust males were selected to service the Hens. the remaining cockerels were doomed to KFC or Sunday roast. however, the egg-laying efficiency of hens lagged around the three-year mark, at that time they were a bit scraggy and deemed to be old boilers suitable only for soups and stews.

Hence the derogatory term for the aged female 'OLD BOILER'.

Vest daily gaggle.

Friday, 27 July 2018

Ausydnestan -Jobless Australia.

Due to the constant problems with the internet availability in Country NSW Strayer, the  distant Asian country of the former USSR Ratshitasstan has offered their commiserations stating they are on an equal footing and seriously considering to adopt the morse code if things become worse, and to complete its sympathy wish to become sister states-referring to us as Ausydnestan.
And to make matters, even more, worse it seems that any voice communication with future Australia Govt call centres will be answered by a voice from Amritsar Mumbai or Dacca. Employees at Call centres in India will receive only 10% of the wages of those in   Ausynestan- Alias Australia.

For the past three months or more I have been plagued by the internet. despite calls to my provider and technicians calling at our office. It is down at the moment like it has been half a dozen times or more today. I shall post this at the first opportunity.

Hope springs eternal.  Vest.


Tuesday, 24 July 2018


And now for something completely different, all done in the best possible taste. and 99% true.                                                                Vest's words for this week are.
                      Dumped. Welcome. Incident.Sounded.Ended. Unaware, or and.
                      Moving. Attended. Responsible. Smell. Arrived. Window.
This story starts at around the same month I was on leave from my ship after the war in 1946 and follows the Albert Story.from last weeks ' Words', It then recalls earlier years.

My Foster Parent, who I referred to as Aunty had for a decade or more been enamoured to a  local farmer a Mr Turner. I had observed from an early age about when I was six or seven the strange secret meetings of this pair of lovebirds.

Auntie’s former beau Mr Turner had dumped Auntie Parker when aged fifty-three and married the shop lady, a frumpy but more frisky forty-year-old, who was the mother of Joyce my former skinny dipping friend, who became a GI Bride and was shipped off to the USA shortly after the war ended. Auntie still living in hope, attended the dance and booze up at the village hall in Chalgrove; where I had arrived earlier, to collect my fifty pounds welcome home money generously supplied by  those who were not veterans, The combined smell of beer body odour and kerosene lamp oil; was battling for supremacy over the stench of tobacco smoke. A dreary old band was playing ancient country yokel music, it was then I saw through the haze the familiar faces of (now married) Ernie and horse face Maggie Bellman, sitting next to their eleven-year-old twin daughters. It must be assumed then, it was Ernie who was responsible for the input of beautiful genes to their daughters who surprisingly looked quite pretty. Auntie remarked that I was probably aware of the time when Maggie conceived in the hayloft in 1933.

 Shortly after I spoke to Ernie about the incident and we had a good belly laugh. Ernie told me that if I had not given the game away on that fateful day in the hayloft, he would probably still be single. It was at the time back in 1933 during the last days at the farm cottage before moving to monument road.
During the last few days at the cottage, I had caught chickenpox and had to stay away from school. The lady next door attended to my needs, being that Auntie Parker had taken the bus into town. I had been told she was staying overnight with Uncle Robert in Oxford. However, from my bedroom window, I had seen Auntie sitting on the bus, but why was she sitting next to farmer Turner?

The cottage or Whites farmhouse was some 400 years old and harboured many mysteries. I had arrived there in the middle of 1931 as a five-year-old with my six-year-old brother. One day while alone in the back bedroom the daughter of my Foster parent heard me talking and wondered whom I was having a conversation with.  when I replied that it was a funny looking man with a large hat with feathers and buckled riding shoes they were aghast at my reply, the fact  that I would have had little knowledge of what they presumed was a spectre from the Civil war days, a Cavalier during the renowned battle of Chalgrove field on Thursday the 18th of June. 1643. It is of little wonder that the family were moving to a more modern residence.

I remember well that afternoon two years later while I was resting, the same day that Aunty and Farmer Turner were seen on the Bus together  I heard two distinct voices through the wall of my bedroom,. It sounded like they were coming from the hayloft. After a while, I crept downstairs and out of the back door. and by standing on the rain tank, I could see through the crack in the timber siding. Big Ernie Bellman was making love to horse-faced Maggie Sherbrook! Being only seven years of age, I was unaware of the significance of this tomfoolery. 'How dare they use our house for their skylarking."

 I crept around to the front of the barn and quietly squeezed through the barn door. I moved the ladder to the hayloft and put the bar down on the barn door, closing it tightly with the pin. My carer, Mrs, James who lived next door, saw me near the front door and scolded me for being out of bed. I told her what had happened. Shortly afterwards, a large number of villagers gathered around the barn door and a cheer went up when Maggie and Ernie appeared rather sheepishly, making all manner of excuses.

 I had begun to earn quite a reputation around the village. The following day, I got a smack from Auntie when she returned from her frolic with Mr Turner, I told her they were only doing what the Billy goat does to the Nanny Goat. However, Aunty's holier than thou attitude was wrecked in the village when local lad 'Ginger Spicer' - Ernies friend, revealed he had seen Aunty and farmer Turner at the same time he was in the Randolph hotel in Oxford when he was Courting the local butcher's daughter.

After having acknowledged Aunty's remark about the loft incident, and  Aunty is in a merry mood, and stating " they must be taking turns to wear a bag over their heads" It was then that Maggie came over and kissed me - while I closed my eyes during this frightful experience she told me she was pleased to see me after so many years. Maggie, I thought; had a lot to thank me for and I believe she realised it

The accent of one's early years lives on in our mind.and in our heart as it does in our speech.

Vest Daily Gaggle.


Tuesday, 17 July 2018

My Friend Albert.

                                Words for Wednesday, July 18. 2018
 Cheerful. River. Children. Sunday. House. Age. Or and. Demise.Noise.Point. Idea. Above. Year.

                                             Remembering Albert, an old friend..
  Old Albert as few of us young lads from the neighbouring village referred to him was a cheerful and helpful person. Most Saturday mornings we would find Albert fishing in the river Thame not far from where it enters the Thames at Dorchester on the Thames in Oxfordshire. It seemed to some, that Albert was an ordinary working person, However, my own judgement was otherwise, Although his dialect was slightly different than local his superior brand of fishing tackle suggested he was 'Well off 'so to speak

I was about nine years of age when Albert took the time to instruct me on how to catch that elusive Jack-Pike; a large predatory river fish, by tying a hook and line around a frog and allowing it to swim in an Eddy of a river bend

 But these Halcyon years of my youth faded to summer vacations from then on from my wretched boarding school at ten point five years until Joining the Royal Navy At a tender age of 15 years and Five months And like many other children became a crew member of a large battleship one year later.

It was during the Second World War in July1944 I had arrived home on leave from my ship which had returned from the Mediterranean and was refitting in Liverpool in order to form the British Pacific fleet later that year.

Chalgrove my home village was agog with activity, A British company had built an airfield within about 100 yards from our back garden. The noise factor was intense. So without much ado, I discovered my brother's aged Motorcycle which had a small amount of fuel to which I added a quantity of paint thinner.- It Roared to life after a few kicks then shortly after I  set off with my Fishing Tackle; praying this mechanical beast would make it there and back from the river.

Being it was a Sunday it was fairly quiet except for a shout" Is that, you Les". An old Guy in his Sixties or more appeared. It was old Albert. he seemed pleased to see me again. I told him I intended to go to the lock keepers house to visit his daughter although much my senior Pearl was perceived to be a little above my station, nevertheless, we were good friends.

Albert placed his hand on my shoulder and say's " I'm sorry to disappoint you Les but the family have moved away, but to where I have no idea. You see the lock keeper had a complete breakdown on hearing of his sons' demise on the Battleship Barham last year.

I was fortunate to meet Albert on that Sunday when the summer rain arrived unexpectantly he said we should go to his house for lunch, it was not far as he had walked there but now hitched a ride on the pillion of the motorcycle - we were nearly there when the fuel ran out. We then wheeled the Bike to his amazing waterfront home.

It was discovered that a fuel line was the problem with the bike so It was arranged for it to be fixed and refuelled the following day on a Monday.

My fishing friend who apart from knowing him as a regular guy on the river bank; had a lovely home, We had lunch in a unique and interesting dining room where the walls were painted with beautiful murals in a panorama  of rolling hills and babbling streams, with winding roads which meandered through pleasant meadows, tiny houses dot the landscape and a small white church with a tall steeple.

That is the church I attended as a boy, up north a bit, Laughing he say's" I sat through many boring sermons in that church with my parents, they are long buried in its cemetery but in memory I go and stand by their graves and to hear them speak to me as in days gone by. it helps to sit here and return to the untroubled days when my life was new and fresh, it does something for me, it gives me peace.

It was several years later after WW2 when I revisited the area, to call on old Albert. Sadly old Albert unknown to me had retired from his business - shoe manufacturing in Northampton. and was living on borrowed time even when I first met him. His kind old body lies buried in the cemetery of that little white church with the tall steeple.

 I visited Alberts lovely home by the river, now occupied by a family with several children playing happily in Albert's lovely garden.

Kindly words are a honeycomb, sweet to the taste, wholesome to the body.

Vest Daily Gaggle.

Yesterday My 92nd Birthday.

I received cards and telephone wishes from family members, plus two cakes and it seemed like hundreds of calls on my hardly visited the Facebook page. now under control by my son Chris. Thank you Facebook friends. Also yesterday I renewed my driving licence, my local RTA complex seemed more humane since its upgrade last year and the people behind the desk more friendly opposed to what was formerly like a visit to the Gestapo headquarters. shortly after we had lunch at a cafe followed by a free haircut at 'CUTS Are us. I had filled the previous7 slots over the year.
 My Son Chris bought me a new keyboard for my PC and a new reading lamp.
I now intend to shower early and also have an early bedtime. I am becoming a trifle tired. I shall post "Words for Wednesday" soon . after this. See you all later on "WORDS". Love you all.

Vest Daily Gaggle.

Sunday, 15 July 2018

ON THIS DAY 16th Of July.

                                                      On this day, the 16th of July.

The year 622. The beginning of the Muslim Calendar. Prophet Mohammad flees from Mecca to Medina.

The year 1945. The first Atom Bomb test takes place in the New Mexico Desert/.

The year 1969, at 2100hrs GMT. Appolo 11  Starts its journey to the moon

The year 1926.-92 years ago  Yours truly Me, VEST entered this Big World.

This year, Today Approximately 65,753 people in Australia will have a Happy Birthday.?.
.                                                 ----

This post will be available 24 hours earlier due to possible irregular activities occuring.

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Words  On Wednesday.

         Words this week are
 Observation. Enjoying. Dining. Capacity. Manufacture Embarrassed.
                                                               Or and
Journey. Business. Baptism.Subject. Loudly. Surprised.

Half of these words were selected at random by a third party. the remainder selected from my story.
My wife and I arrived early at the central station in Sydney for our twelve hours *Journey North to Brisbane, in order to attend our first grandson's * Baptism. It was intended to be a happy and rewarding reunion with family members as well as a comfortable first-class * journey plus *enjoying the scenery along the way.

Shortly after starting our trip my Wife and I  joined other passengers in the *Dining Car and sat across from a husband and wife who were strangers to us. The lady was expensively dressed, as the high fashioned clothes and jewellery indicated. But she was having a most unpleasant time with herself.
Rather * loudly she proclaimed that the dining room was dingy and draughty, the service abominable and the food most unpalatable. She complained and fretted about everything. Her husband, on the contrary, was an easy going man who had the *capacity to take things as they come, although he seemed to be a trifle *embarrassed by his wife's critical attitude and somewhat disappointed too as he was taking her on this trip for her pleasure.

To change the * subject, he asked what *  business I was in and said he was a  Doctor, then he laughed and said: " My wife is in the manufacturing * business". This * surprised me as she did not appear to be an industrious type of person, so I asked the Doctor" What does she *Manufacture" he laughed and replied " My wife manufactures her own misery.

Despite the icy coolness that settled on the table following this ill-advised * observation, I was grateful for his remark, for it aptly described what far too many people do.
On returning to our comfortable Ist Class seats, I fell asleep only to wake some two hours later, Feeling pleased with myself having rested, however, my wife was still snoozing but with a beautiful and happy smile on her pretty face. I feel blessed that today I am not a doctor, plus I have nothing that needs changing. Seems like we will have to take in the scenery on the return *Journey.

Most that one suffers from unhappiness, comes from the tongue
 Words are like bees, Sometimes they have honey, sometimes a sting.

Thursday, 5 July 2018


 Today July 5 is the birthday anniversary of my dear departed Lady - Wife and Best Friend  Beautiful Rosemary.
 Rosemary was born in 1934 and would be celebrating her fun-filled fourth 21st today. Rosemary was an ageless person - Loving - hard to fault - priceless in every aspect.

It was also on July 5 at 2am 1971 on Rosemary's 37th birthday when our family sailed from Southampton on the good ship 'Britannis', a ship carrying mostly migrants to Australia.
                                LOVE YOU ROSEMARY


Tuesday, 3 July 2018

Words for Wednesday .

Words this week provided by Vest,  limited to six words to enable more people to take part
     Mixture. Summer. Footsteps. Warmth. Shelter. Chilly. These words were selected by a third party and used in the following story

                             A late English Summer.!970

   Many of us manufacture our own misery. Of course, not all unhappiness is self-created, for social conditions are responsible for more than a few of our woes. yet it is a fact that to a large extent by our thoughts and our attitudes we brew from the ingredients of life either happiness or unhappiness for ourselves. Our good fortune in being able to send all of our school-aged children to school camp and the three-year-old to grannies for a week. was also a blessing and a sort of contrived happiness.

It was during this heaven-sent break from our lovely children on a bright English summer afternoon, my Wife and I went for a long walk into the woods where we were staying near the lakeside village of lilyponds our favourite weekend getaway in the Chiltern Hills. On this afternoon there was a*mixture of *summer showers and sunlit hours. being far from the * shelter we became soaked, we both looked a mess, then when the rain stopped we hugged each other and as we squelched our way back towards the village only stopping briefly in a sunlit area to rest and allow ourselves to dry out. Shortly after we walked under the trees in the woods; flying insects awakened by the showers hurried us along and later feeling tired we sat down on a lichen-encrusted log for a further rest, there we talked for awhile and then remained silent.

 We were listening to the quietness, the woods are rarely still, there is a lot of activity in progress, but natures sounds are quiet and harmonious, nature was laying its healing quietness on us, we were happy.

Shortly after we arrived at our rented cottage where we were greeted by the live-in help, it had become somewhat *chilly with a light northerly wind blowing. but the * warmth of the cottage interior was comforting and the oldie world aroma of the Steak and kidney pudding warmed our entry.

 That evening we planned to leave early the following morning in order  to visit my childhood village of Chalgrove and other surrounding villages where only * footsteps away were other quaint old-world cottages and the former homes of likenesses of Geoffrey Chaucer and who with Jerome K Jerome lived in more recent times and was buried in the local church in Ewelme. It is a region of Great Britain where history becomes alive.

Let yourself shine, do not compare yourself to anyone else.
 Vest ... back soon.

Wednesday, 27 June 2018


      Words this week are provided by  LEE.
     Caricature.Undercurrent.Multiple.Dominent.Confident. & Ultimate.

Aloysius was as the first child of Anne Smithers and a supposed unknown father, not at all like the other five siblings of three girls and two boys., aged between four and twelve years who constantly provided an *undercurrent of misbehaviour.

Hardly poor, her husband Fred the father of Josie the eldest girl, who had wed Anne Smithers to become  Anne Brown.  Fred Brown had been a *confident person until the day he stepped into the path of the local bus when leaving the 'Hare and Hounds' Public House thereby suffering *multiple injuries and his *ultimate fate.

Fred had been a * confident person and due to his good fortune in landing a  substantial win on the football pools made himself a great catch for the impoverished Anne Smithers who was still a somewhat vivacious young lady and very wealthy on the demise of her husband Fred. and subsequently bedded most of the local studs in the small market town of Sodbury Marsh-not far from the village of Frogsbottom, mentioned in an earlier tale of debauchery.

Anne Smithers and her brood of brats were the dominant sources in any undercurrent of dodgy business, such as shoplifting, bashings and school bullying, the leader of the pack being Aloysius who was quite large for his fourteen years.

Aloysius was not a pretty boy but one most artist would enjoy painting or draw in *Caricature; his name came from his father so it was believed the local priest at the time who was a spitting image of Aloysius who years before had  employed Anne during her early years as a flower lady at his church, and subsequently deflowered Anne accordingly...

Anne, being she was with child became enamoured of Fred, Fred being nouveau riche Fred was also quite handsome and a good catch but also was a drunkard of sorts and as mentioned earlier got himself knocked off by the local bus.

As time passed, a visiting Lawyer to the town heard of this local tale with great interest and like most ambulance chasers, knew he was able to make a tidy sum from the misery of the pub accident and successfully sued the local bus company then  wed the plaintiff to ensure  his share of the wealth he acquired would  be put to good use by marrying the plaintiff. whereby the crooked family of Filcher - Smithers lived miserably ever after.

This story has no connection to any sane living person.

VEST Daily Gaggle, Back soon.

Friday, 22 June 2018



The following preamble is a layman's explanation of the rules of cricket to the people of North America.
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he is out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When one side are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that has been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice, after the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
The general rules of actual play are saturated with a glossary of terms and conditions with sub rules, with the prefixes 'Unless, depending, benefit of doubt, and other Misc Claptrap, every morsel of important cricket goings on is recorded in WISDEN a sacred hard to get book with more info on cricket than Brittanica, from the time the first ball was bowled in Hambledon Hampshire England in the early 19th century . There is more to read in Wisden than the 'Holy Bible' or the 'SevenPillars of WISDOM'. 
Any Cricket Jokes?   


Wednesday, 20 June 2018

Cricket Lovely Cricket.But nothing to sing about.

Words for Wednesday are provided by LEE this week, however, I shall be posting them on my blog when an opportunity exists between outages of our wonderful internet provider. The words this week are as follows.
                Stellar. Resourceful. Frivolous, Revelation, Catastrophe, and Perspective. 
                                           The third ODI.
      If by chance you are an American or not a British Commonwealth Cricket loving person, most of this tale of woe will fall on deaf ears.
      I like most Aussies and ex-Brits would be interested in the tale of woe which sadly befell the depleted Australian cricket team Yesterday on the 19th of June. Mind you the English team was also depleted of two of its regular players, and the Australian team by three top players who were convicted of ball tampering earlier in South Africa- put into perspective simply not just frivolous but downright cheating. Most of us now know about this revelation which has depleted our Australian team. However, a stellar batting performance by the England team became a catastrophe for the underpowered Aussies despite their winning of the toss for the third time and gaining an advantage by asking England to bat first and so have better control of the game.
       Although Australia failed in the two previous games, we Aussies got whacked by a more resourceful England team. Not only did those cocky Poms(English guys) beat their own 50 Overs international record of 444 runs, it was quite a substantial increase, now standing at 481 runs. This was achieved on a playing surface with an average of around 275  per innings
       Hope springs eternal. Maybe tomorrow will bring better times for the Aussies in the fourth clash.
  COME on Aussie COME on.
     Vest ….. Back soon.

Remembering our 65th Wedding Anniversary

     Rosemary & Les; were Married at St Christophers  Church in Johore Bahru, Malaya on this day  65 years ago,. Rosemary was nearly Nineteen and I Les nearly twenty-seven.

    .Although Rosemary left to go to heaven in May last year, her presence remains with us constantly.
                                                      LOVE YOU ROSEMARY

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Computer continues to drop out.

      Despite having technicians from our provider call several times, checking just about everything that could go wrong, changing this that and the other, we are still getting dropouts- particularly annoying when posting on another blog and the effort one makes is shattered by an incompetent internet system. Chris my son and I are doing our best to resolve this problem.. While writing this I have had three outages lasting up to a minute or so. Right at this moment, there is an outage. Cheesed off.. for a use of a better expression.
 Back soon,,,, Vest.

Wednesday, 13 June 2018

Words on Wednesday, Camping disaster.

     Words today are  Attitude. Uphill, Insight, Lessons, Upheaval, Canopy

     The whole parody of this event was proposed with little *Insight of what could possibly *Occur Should things not pan out to the expectations of our dimwit leader Mr; Fizzy Spain who led our motley mob of inexperienced campers towards the distant hills.

      Each of us carried a part of the camping equipment on this mostly uphill seven-mile trek. although it was a moderately sunny day, the forecast was not all that bright.

      The poor * attitude of the inexperienced twelve years old novice campers, whose lessons on camping had been avoided mainly through much info leaking from previous disastrous camping expeditions from the school had already start to fester after each rest stop the motivation to keep going was not at its best.

     Eventually, after several stops, the motley group of exhausted boys arrived by the brook at the foot of a hill and washed in the clear pristine waters, before erecting a canopy over the cooking area and the accommodation tents. It was also about this time when the sunshine disappeared and doubt about our dimwit leader became set in stone when the drizzle turned into a downpour swamping the *Canopy and uprooting the tent pegs and sending the tents down the hill to float away in the brook.

     On seeing this, our bugle boy sounded the 'Retreat', then we the defeated trudged wearily back to the comfort of our wretched school but a more comfortable bed.

This sad tale is yet another of many unwritten bad moments at my wretched naval boarding school.not to be mentioned in my memoirs.
Happy Camping. Vest .... back soon.

Friday, 8 June 2018

Overnight Catastrophe

       Last night during the evening a large dark coloured pussy cat made a near fateful move by straying onto our property. On its arrival Minnie our female puss scooted indoors and sought the comfort of her daddies lap for the next two or so hours.

      At daylight on entering the large covered deck outside of the front door was a scene of catastrophic chaos. At first it seemed that Ginge our hairy doctored Tom Cat had come off second best during the overnight fracas with the dark invader. however, scattered around the decking were a couple of dozen wads of Gingers hair, but yet again a nonconclusive descision as to who was the victor was altered to favour a slightly thinner ginger Mog who sat proudly close by to the victors spoils, a torn tartan plaited cat collar with bell attached; the former property of visiting dark invader.

Goodonyer ginge.

    Vest .... Back soon.

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Words on Wednesday.

                                        This words for this week have been selected by LEE.

                                            Comedy. Shadows. Loss. Rainbow. Emotional. Heart.

My story goes like this. Who decides whether you should be happy or not, the reply is you do.

      A television Comedy* celebrity had as a guest on his programm an aged gentleman in the *Shadows of his life. And he was a very rare old man indeed  His remarks were entirely unpremeditated and as well as being unrehearsed, they simply bubble out of a personality that was radiant and Un- *Emotional and happy., and whenever he said anything, it was so naive, so apt, that the audience roared with laughter. They loved him, The celebrity was impressed, and enjoyed it with the others and was at a *Loss to understand why his *Heart was so full of happiness and his smile likened to that of a * Rainbow.

    Finally, the celebrity asked the old man why he was so happy."You must have a wonderful secret for happiness," he suggested.

     "No," replied the old man," I secret,  Its something I do every day early in the morning, the earlier the better." he explained, " I have two choices - either to be happy or unhappy and what do you think I do?. I simply choose to be happy, and that's all there is to it."

      Vest says. "Let yourself shine and don't compare yourself with anyone."

Back soon.


Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Words on Wednesday.

The prompt this week to use in this story will be the sentence,  Back to the drawing board.

      These are troubled times. We have a strike of water workers. this is an addition to my own personal waterworks problems I have been worrying if the water would dry up in the taps. I have even laid on a stock of top quality Aldi brand Perrier water in case we have to dig a well to provide washing water, I hope the situation does not get any worse.
      Then there are the interminable * Back to the drawing board talks over the limitations or even reduction of Nuclear weapons. the outcome of these talks is easy to surmise; they will end up with all the nuclear powers possessing more nuclear weapons than they did when the talks started. Once I would have worried about this also. Now I look forward to drinking the Perrier water even if the water talks succeed
      To speak the truth, not an invariable practice with me, I do not care in the slightest about the nuclear talks or their outcome, I do not care very much about the water taps going dry. Something graver weighs upon me day and night: my own personal plumbing.

Vest.... Back soon.

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Words on Wednesday.

The words for Wednesday. are Cooking. Football. Debonair. Electricity. Ballet. Radiator.

     It was quite warm during the day yesterday but turned quite chilly during the evening creating the frequent power outage and the power for the electric* radiators, dotted around the house.
.   This seems to always occur when cooking* the evening meal but luckily we have a gas cooking arrangement to supplement the electricity* supply.. The power cut also thankfully brought an abrupt end to a thugby football* game being watched by a visiting friend who had been listening and watching the ravings of the crowd screaming advice to the hardly debonair* bunch of tattooed overweight gormless muttonheads, the ballet*of hooliganism abruptly ending giving instant relief to one's ears.
     The lighting of the candles was the next priority and a bright flashlight to search for the odd necessities being reminiscent of my childhood rural days living off the grid.

Vest .... back soon.

Sunday, 13 May 2018

I have never been to Israel. however.

       On May 14, Midnight 1948, on the day in which the British Mandate over Palestine expired, the Jewish People's Council gathered at the Tel Aviv Museum, and approved the following proclamation, declaring the establishment of the State of Israel.

     Yes, that is correct, I missed it by about sixteen hours and was mighty pleased.
Overnight the British Royal Navy  HMS Mauritius 6,500 ton 6-inch gun Cruiser commanded by Captain Lord Ashbourne ( Yes a peer of the Realm) Had singled up to just a fore and aft mooring wire, having the good sense to realise our departure from Haifa was going to be unpleasant
     The HMS Mauritius. commission in the Mediterranean was at an end, having been responsible for boarding many Illegal vessels trying to get into Palestine left Haifa under a hail of misc small arms fire leaving twanging ruptured berthing wires weaving dangerously around.
     The two largest ships or should I say largest passenger list  Approx 7000 each were the Pans - Pan Crescent which I boarded with 12 other guys., and Pan York each around 6.000 tons, had. taken on Illegals from a port in Bulgaria on the Black Sea. Caught up with them shortly after Christmas day 1947.

For more info Google 'THE PANS' Or Exodus 1946- 1948. Or try The Pan York and Pan Crescent.
Vest .... Back soon. Having probs with P C.
   The Pan York and Pan crescent 1948 Exodus..  On google

Tuesday, 8 May 2018

And then there were Three..Vale George.

      It would seem that the Australian climate and good living has been responsible for the longevity of the Wartime crew of the WW2 Battleship HMS KING GEORGE V.

       By the end of WW2, the lowest age of any crew member was 19 approximately in 1945. and from information collected from archives in Britain and elsewhere only four of the wartime crew remained in circulation until yesterday when the eldest crew member. my dear friend and mentor George Haynes Passed away in a Sydney Nursing Home, aged 95, George leaves a wife Muriel 96 and an extended family,.
       The remaining three crew members are  James (Jim), Page,  94. Of Warners Bay NSW AUS, Also Patrick (Pat) O'Shaughnessy 92 With his wife Betty also 92who lives  Near Melbourne in Victoria Australia.
       And finally
Yours truly the young one Myself  Aged 91 soon to be 92, living on the beautiful Central Coast of NSW Australia.
 Vest, Daily Gaggle..... back soon.

Thursday, 3 May 2018

Remembering Rosemary.

       My Lovely Wife  Rosemary, passed away a year ago today, and I miss her with a great sadness.
        Rosemary was not only beautiful but the love of my life and Best Friend.

                                            LOVE  YOU ROSEMARY,

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

Words on Wednesday.

The following words are today's words on Wednesday.

Heart. Meddling. Primary. Contrary. Mug. Kitchen.

     Contrary* to popular belief, the British Royal Navy had it's own peculiar version of the terminology within the English Language called 'Jack Speak'. A book published some time ago. ISBN  O - 9514305 - 2 - 1 , in my possession. This book contains 520 pages of alternative naughty  sometimes Nautical Expressions.
     Listening to a senior sailors conversation would confuse most civilians  and raw recruits. The Heart* of 'Jack Speak' was the chatter in a peculiar dialogue after downing a Mug* of   one eighth of a pint of rum mixed Two parts Water One Rum.. enough to send one dizzy very quickly..
       Meddling* with the English language using alternative words and Primary* expressions such as Hammock being a Banana bedstead and the Kitchen* being the galley was some of the acceptable chatter, but there were thousands of words and of a non palatable nature ; the majority not found in a  English dictionary or bible.. Oddly the Royal Navy was called the'ANDREW. , Ask why. and most  would know what an 'Admiral Brown was; A Nocangoist. an Atheist.. A Chancre mechanic a Dicdoc,
Nooners, A midday boudoir romp. and of course Nelsons Blood that of  Rum.
The expression sailors feared most of all, was;  that of "Get your Hat' meaning you were in trouble.
.Vest ... Back soon.

Monday, 23 April 2018

Happy St George Day

     I had the stitches removed from my leg today , I feel more comfortable  but some pain remains.
After leaving the Doc I did the weekly shopping, calling in the St George. Bank, then Woolies and last of all Aldl, then it was time for a box of chips from the Red Rooster where I sat on a bench watching the passing parade of the various types of humanity.
     It wasn't long before I was recognised by a former Club Associate and we began chatting when his two teenage sons were introduced to me when I replied " A happy St Georges day" " whats that" said one , I replied, "It is like St Patrick's day sort of thing, only the English version and St David March 1, is for the Welsh people and st Andrew November30 for the Scottish". The younger of the two then say's we Aussies have St Anzac On Wednesday  I winced and replied I have a son named Andrew  guess what his birthday is, The father guessed correctly and then asked why do Brits when they fly their flag not use the Union Flag(Jack).. I replied the  White flag  with the Red Pus sign cross is the English Flag,The Scottish flag is white with a  blue X cross and the Irish white with a red x cross.
     In nautical terms the distress flags  within the International code are of the same colours as the Irish and Scots flags, the flag M Scottish means " my engines are stopped and not making way,' the flag V the Irish flag means  "I need assistance. Makes one think doesn't it? 
   . However the English flag is the same as for an Admiral. A rear Admiral has two red balls in the left hand cantons and the Vice Admiral's flag has only one in the upper left canton, But sadly the full Admiral has no balls at all.

Vest.... back soon.

Sunday, 22 April 2018

Facebook again. Rude Anon caller.

   Sorry Anon Face book Ghoul.. Your comment  has been deleted due to its obscene content , Have a thoughtful day.. Leaves me thinking no one is that bad.
     It is a sad indictment of the negative impact of social media on most people; particularly the young people in our midst, who lead a vacuous existence, seeking 'LIKES' for self worth; wanting to be the envy of others.
     Envy is the catalyst of most criminal activity, Anon.  Get off of your fat ass and find your self a job.

Vest... Daily gaggle Back soon.

Saturday, 21 April 2018

Queen Elisabeth, 2. 26th Birthday - Korea 1952 -April- 21st..

     In 1952, the Korean War was in full swing. I was drafted to HMS Ceylon, an 8,000-ton cruiser with nine 6-inch and eight 4-inch guns, etc. Before I left, my beautiful Mary and I had a very romantic day in London where I promised to love her forever and write often. Mary gave me a letter from Alice, Mary’s sister, to deliver by hand to William, her boyfriend stationed in Hong Kong..               On 11 March 1952, I left Portsmouth and sailed to Hong Kong on the troop ship Empire Fowey, an ex-German liner. My journey to Hong Kong was pleasant. The many activities on board kept me free from boredom. By the time the ship had arrived in Hong Kong, I had written several letters to Mary, who I missed terribly. I hand delivered the letter to Mary’s sister’s fiancĂ©e and received my first letter from Mary. It was the first of many letters that kept me in touch and satisfied me that our romance was progressing favourably. Mary is a clean-living, kindly person, more likely to blame herself for things and not the other person. She is sometimes too kind for her own good. I often get complimentary remarks about her from female friends. A few years ago, one lady who we know well pointed to Mary and told her son that she was the type of wife he should choose. That lady was absolutely right. My Mary was and still is beautiful in mind, body, and soul. Yes, it’s diplomacy at its best when I gaze upon Mary laughing and smiling with  her three ex-daughters-in-law, who tell me in secret that they still love her..
      Two weeks later, after I joined HMS Ceylon and went up to Korea, I was put in charge of a twin four-inch gun mounting ‘turret.’ Apart from a few bombardments, etc. and a visit to Sasebo, Japan, it was uneventful, except for one ridiculous situation that only the Royal Navy could have conceived. At twelve noon on 21 April 1952 flags were hoisted from fore to aft in dress overall. A signal from the masthead indicated “With the compliments of Her Majesty the Queen, on her twenty-sixth birthday.” Eight bells were rung, and a six-inch gun turret fired a twenty-one-gun salute of 50 KILO, or 1 CWT, high explosive shells into a North Korean Port that had some minor military targets. In the afternoon, an ‘informal’ bombardment was carried out. The other ‘highlight’ was that the six hundred plus crew all had dysentery. We were at the mercy of the enemy, if only they had known it.      .                  Sasebo Japan, used by the United Nations as a naval base, was not the best place to go ashore, as it was dank, and smoky. The American USO club was okay. What I did find interesting was the open-air theatrical performances. For this, you needed an English version of the story to guide you through the show. For visiting naval ships, the availability of orgasmic interaction was abundant; however, the warnings given upon arrival that Carnal Catarrh was rife were usually ignored by the foolhardy
 Excerpt from memoirs. 2003.
 Vest Daily Gaggle.

   Sorry.  No Words this week.. Still suffering a little.

Friday, 13 April 2018

Taking a rest

Sorry - No words this week.. Several things have cropped up for attention; such as the Auto garage door malfunction( age related) the gardener coming earlier: hedge cutting mowing and spraying grass.. My carer son busy on voluntary work at Camp Breakaway. and myself having a fall in the garden and injured my Right leg ( a large chunk being removed) requiring  a minor operation; pain killers lots of  stitches and tetanus shots and  the loss of half a legfull of blood. so that is about all, apart from I am recovering well. see you next week

Vest .. Back soon..

Sunday, 8 April 2018

Quietly going about their business but such a pity some smoke too.

Doing it quietly is not always the case arriving at that pinnacle of bliss, but there are somethings you just cant change and one of them is that human beings like making babies, so it is nice to know the majority of us are quietly going about the business of keeping the human race going, and it seems those who are leading the charge are women in western Sydney the city's true heartland.
Now this is good for the economy and-more importantly-good for brothers and sisters. It's not scandalous or outrageous but behind closed doors across Sydney little miracles are being made every day.
Unfortunately some women are making headlines for the wrong reasons, I suppose you might say this is a spin off from a former post of mine "Kiss a non smoker and taste the difference"(Archives March 23-05). Most intelligent people who smoke are probably aware that smoking for the first thirty years of your adult life will reduce your life expectancy by up to ten years and also reduce hanky panky within the boudoir considerably too. those who have stopped puffing will tell you I must have been nuts not to have packed it in long ago. However, it is sad when the habits of mothers who smoke will in turn give their unborn child a legacy of lung and breathing problems to deal with for the rest of their lives. I am reliably informed that around twenty per cent of pregnant women continue to smoke during pregnancy against strong advice from health authorities. I say it should be mandatory by law for women to stop smoking during pregnancy and measures taken to forcibly isolate them from tobacco products in order to guarantee the optimum health of the new baby.

Thirty two years ago just prior to Christmas I was suffering from a severe bout of colley wobbles-an undefined medical problem which was giving me a few bad moments with ongoing pain. In the wash up the Doc informed me I would be dead within three months if I did not cease smoking. From that moment on for me fags were a thing of the past, I had too much to live for, my health improved and gave me more powers within the boudoir.
However, I still believe that the Doctor was a lying sod, but I had litte time to Question his wisdom.

Thursday, 5 April 2018

Dear Sports Editor Re cricket at the SCG

     I was totally distressed when reading your report regarding the dwindling numbers of patrons visiting the Sydney cricket ground but what surprised me most of all was the terrible news that due to last week when the Australian men's cricket team was thrashed by the under 15 Bangladesh 2nd eleven( ladies) there was much dissension within the small crowd . reports are now coming in saying if the situation worsens the Sydney cricket ground  may have to be demolished to make way for the New housing development for retired Politicians..
     " Oh No" please. not that. or if so my family will dwindle too - due to starvation ,  and despite what you say about visiting crowds my family and heaps of friends are regular visitors whatever the format rain or shine and provided the people return and overspend on KFC and Maccas ; my family will always be there.

 Signed  A SEAGULL.   

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

OZ Skipper may skip to Kipper land.

                                Cry baby penniless Cricketer will seek solace in England
     It is now donkey's years since England first allowed overseas players to infiltrate their County Cricket teams, The only team to steadfastly refuse foreign players was the Yorkshire cricket club who after four decades of going it alone and due to their lowly championship ratings joined the foreign players club in 1992 when in July  that year the Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulker joined the club ( A great choice). Now it would seem our embattled Ex cricket Skipper will be skipping the country to play for a undisclosed English County Team ; one not too disturbed regarding the Oz defectors dodgy history.

    .Have you ever attended a cricket game? I did when I was a twelve year old during my summer holiday from  my dreadful Nautical school. It was the 5th test in Aug 1938 One that most Aussies have little recall which is hardly surprising.
If you An Aussie fan you will really enjoy this .

 Vest back soon.

Pee soup causes collision of ferry.

Words on Wednesday, Words used  are.
Beach. Shadow. Orb. Chilly. Collision.  Desperate. Game.  Bag. Torch. Queen.

Today's story....Hong Kong  Feb 13  1905.

    The Naval Shore Establishment HMS Tamar in Hong Kong lay near the beach side suburb of Wanchai, its front gate fronted the esplanade of the Star Ferry terminal. The bridge of each ferry displayed on its  coat of arms a crossed sabre and orb design.
 The desperate Chinese cook fleeing an irate mob of drunken sailors was without a shadow of doubt the root  of the riot which caused the  capsizing of the Star Ferry The sailors having chased 'Cookie Boy' as he was known onto the ferry after a disagreeable meeting in the mess  hall.

     That Chilly February morning will bring into focus why the commotion started in the first place., when rampaging sailors caused the ferry to capsize after a high speed collision with the dock side wall where desperate passengers were thrown into the not so healthy water- despite its motto of 'Fragrant Harbour'. Which of course depended on your refractory choice and possibly remembering the awful whiff of the Jordan road Pig market smell on a hot July day which in my opinion would capture the honours.

     It seems that in the wash up (enquiry) the debacle started as a game when sailors would Bag or Mock  the Chinese cook Wan Kee Ling the Queen of the kitchen ladies for whom the Petty officer in charge of the sailors was carrying a Torch. when the poor quality of the sailors chow came into question.. The irate husband of Wan kee ling  Fred Chow ming (Eurasian) complained to the C O about the insults he was getting from the sailors about the quality of the food he was offering which after much discussion meant the sailors were told to apologise to the Chinese cook saying 'Sorry Cookie Boy' Whereupon  The cocky Cookie Boy  stated " Good I no more pee in the soup.. Which started the fracas.

 Vest Daily Gaggle. Back soon.

Saturday, 31 March 2018

April 1-Easter Sunday-All fools day.

       The Date you see in the header is one of rare occurrence. Many of us will not notice this triple phenomenon unless it has had some significant meaning during their lifespan.

      The years on which this has happened during our lifetimes were in 1923 - 1945 -1964 - and now in 2018. Unless someone is fibbing about their age and remembers it happening in 1888 Or Tommy Turtle from the Galapagos Islands in the Pacific ocean.

      My first experience of this date being significant happened in 1945 during WW2 and the second time when returning home on Easter day from the West Indies while with the Royal Navy on HMS Ceylon.  However, the time that I remember most of all and in 1945 was probably the most illuminating occasion. The second time was during a 'Cushy' two year shore posting in Hong Kong with my Family

      April 1.  1945 Easter Sunday All fools day, 'Operation Iceberg 1'. This had nothing whatsoever to do with Icebergs; simply put a code name for the US and British Pacific naval fleets Which was put into full swing that day during my Eighteenth year. The main activity started early that day when the Americans invaded Okinawa. Several US ships were lost and weeks after the final capitulation of the sons of Nippon in the wash-up. oddly no British ships had been lost Although many had sustained hits - particularly the five British A/C Carriers which fortunately were built with Armoured Flight decks.The only Humour attached to these activities was the remark made to our Admiral CinC  Sir Bernard Rawlings came from the lips of Admiral Nimitz US Navy. who remarked " Whenever a Kamikaze hits a US Carrier its a six-month repair job in Pearl harbour but you lucky British guys it's "Sweepers man your brooms."
 I also remember a few friends who did not live to see another Easter day.

 Vest. A crew member of the Battleship HMS King George V 1943 to 1947.

Back Soon.


Thursday, 29 March 2018

The Ball Picking Song

     This song is dedicated to the trio of tricky ball picking cricketers. and goes to the tune of 'Everybody's Doing it Now'

Every body's doing it - Doing it-doing it- doing it

Picking the Ball and Chewy- ing it glueing it shoeing it

We all know it's been done before

Going back in time much before

But getting caught you get shown the door.  So no body's doing it now.

Dedicated. to the trio of tricky cricketers. Copyright.

What fairies ?

Words on Wednesday

     Misstep.Ponder. Volume.Crib. Split.& Brilliant.

The following is either a Fairy story or a concussed dream.

    Fairies respond to kindness and will communicate with those who share their ideology and are willing to tolerate their existence. I never cease to wonder and ponder over the peculiar stories about fairies.
     Fairies come in all shapes and sizes and callings; such as Elves Goblins Gnomes. However, it was a few years ago on mid summers day when I was putting away the garden tools back into the shed at the bottom of the garden and the Sun was going down when suddenly without warning  I misstep onto the garden rake 'Clonk, 'After the rake hit me I heard odd laughter of low volume coming from below the Gooseberry Bush where I saw an unbelievable sight of a baby Gnome in a crib being attended by several lady fairies each holding a small but brilliant light.
     The remaining little people were now split up dancing in couples around the Fairy Queen when I asked her"How long has this been going on", The Fairy Queen replied " We only gather here at Midsummer, then we have our own fairy world to administer." I then asked what sort of employment do you have. The same as you' she replied But as we have reached call up age we now have to register for national service and will not be back for at least another two years. I am sorry to hear that I reply and which branch of the services will that be' The Queen replied The traditional National ELF service.
It was then I heard My wife saying " why on earth are you lying there in the dirt kissing that garden rake.? 

Vest Daily Gaggle. Back soon.

Thursday, 22 March 2018

Words on Wednesday Portsmouth 1765.

The following words are used for this dated story

                             Portsmouth England 1765.

     It was to become an exciting day for young Jimmy Hornblower. The arrival of the famous captain Bastardo (Junior) and his Three mast frigate of forty guns the Santa da devil. Jimmy had his mind set on a seafaring career and was intent on securing a job on this famous ship a former Portuguese ship captured by the Infamous Capt Bastardo Senior a Spanish pirate of Murderous disposition.
     Captain Barsrardo (junior) was the Illegitimate son of his father and lady Emily Dearborn of Barnwell in Hampshire Who Capt Bastardo had captured during a raid on Hamilton in Bermuda.some forty years ago. When lady Emily became with child the Captain Bastardo put ashore the wailing mother and soon to be born child. Who was rescued by a British man of war and landed in England, Where the now present Captain  Horatio Da Bastardo lived with his mother until the call of the sea sent him in search for his infamous father for whom he had murderous intent. However, it wasn't to be as he discovered that his father had been caught at last by a British man of war and was duly hanged at the yardarm as a result of his previous skulduggery.
    Back in England, the sale of the Bastardo Senior's goods and chattels plus his ship was given to his ex-defacto wife and son who now captained this stalwart ship.
    The present Captain Bastardo the 2nd so to speak was of great wile and wit and a successful privateer sanctioned by the British Crown, he was a pleasant person but strong-willed in the perception of his calling. and tolerant of the needs of his crew who adored him.
    It was a bright sunny day on this spring day in May most of the ship's crew were ashore already They all had great wealth to spend after a successful pillaging tour of the Carribean  A jovial  Captain Bastardo (Jun) eyed the young man who was showing great interest in the configuration of his ship. " Ahoy there" shouts the Captain Dost thou want a job young man".
Jimmy say's  It is a possibility sir' " Well then come aboard and ill give you a feed if you are hungry,' Thankee kindly Sir, that I will".
    The captain summoned the ships Cook - a Jaundiced looking Oriental man with a large nose and protruding teeth. See here boy say's the Captain, this be the 'Yeller feller with the big smeller, dunno his real name just call him Big smeller. Jimmy stared in awe of the chinaman the likes of he had never seen before.
    After a sumptuous meal, Jimmy asks the captain If he would train him to become ships master like himself, It is what I always wanted to say's Jimmy.  Yes to be sure we need new blood to Captain the ships to defeat those dissident New Englanders in the American Colonies. Jimmy was now convinced it was his destiny to become a crew member of this ship.
       While signing on as a crew member, Jimmy seeing the Captain was in jovial mood asks him 'Sir how did you acquire your wooden arm and leg? Ah, Jim, me lad; both went on the same day during a fight with a French man of war near banana bay Grenada but I survived with the help given by my loyal crew.
    So now if that is all  I want you to go home and tell your family about your new career. Not quite all sir say's Jimmy, I would like to know how you lost your right eye'. Ah Jim me lad that was a really bad day,. I must blame a hungry seagull for its loss. You see I had just come from the hospital and I had just bought some Whelks and Cockles from the vendor by the dockyard gate I was enjoying eating them on the way to the ship and as I stepped onto the ship's gangway this darn seagull  Pooped straight into my eye- That was the day I had that hook fitted to my arm at  the hospital.
      Now off you go tell your Mother of your new future.
 Jimmy became  The legendary Captain Hornblower RN.

VEST. Daily Gaggle. Back soon.


A few more Jaw droppers.

                                                                Jaw Droppers. In the British Royal Navy, Bagpipes are referred to as Agony...