Australian passports and more.

Going overseas no matter where you will require a passport, if it is a foreign or British passport you will have to have a valid Visa for your return to Australia.

If your passport has expired, you will be required to apply for a new one, and this may be achieved by going on line for the info. Here is the problem., IT WiLL

TAKE 9 WEEKS before it arrives back from merry England..

However if you are like some of my sons who are Brit Born and have not moved from Aus since their arrival in 1971 and have not become naturalized, not only will you have the previous problem but another denying you an Aus passport, which means a six month Wait to become a Aus Citizen after your application.
The application for an Aus passport will take around two weeks and cost half as much as a Brit passport. There are concessions for the aged and infirm..

In the past there have been anomalies where sportsmen like Kepplar Wessells a springbok from Suid Afrika was allowed to play cricket for Aus During the apartheid era,this was expedited by Bob Non combatant chook Hawk

.

It is hoped my youngest son will have his PP returned soon from merry England then we can get moving, we are packed ready to go, just waiting for those pommy paper pushers to pull their finger out. Hopefully the ETD will be July 25 ?.

Back soon ....Vest.

"I Believe its a coming."

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian, passing thru from Lame Deer. Another is a cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third is a fundamentalist Arab student from the Middle East, newly arrived at Montana State University. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around and the old windsock is flapping, but still no plane comes. Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly speaks. "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few." The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?" The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth, and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'".

Spoonerisms. What is Your Favourite?

Professor Spooner after having delivered his speech regarding the retirement of the college Dean.. said  "Raise your glasses  ladies and gentlemen., I now propose a toast to our Queer Dean".
  There have been many faux pas  in the past , some real political clangers and such, which one is your favourite?  BTW The Rev W Spooner was the  dean of  New College at Oxford university around the mid 19th cent. a pasty faced weired looking bloke.
 Go on ... Have a go.

Vest.... back later.

Saving your Life.

                                            CPR ON YOURSELF........................(different!!)

1 Let's say it's 7.25pm and you're going home (alone of course) after an
unusually hard day on the job.

2 You're really tired, upset and frustrated.



3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts
to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five
miles from the hospital nearest your home.



4 Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far.



5 You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did
not tell you how to perform it on yourself.



6 HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help,
the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel
faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.



7 However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and
very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the
cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest.



A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without
let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating
normally again.



8 Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze
the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the
heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack
victims can get to a hospital.



9 Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their
lives!



10 A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail, kindly sends it to
10 people, you can bet that we'll save at least one life.



11 Rather than sending jokes, please..contribute by forwarding this mail
which can save a person's life....



12 If this message comes around you .....more than once.....please don't
get irritated......U need to be happy that you have many friends who care
about you & being reminded of how to tackle....Heart 

attacks..

                     
At 11am  Friday June 11, I shall be involved with making a NEW will , at the loophole Larry's in Gosford. Those family persons who have not been told they are beneficiaries , will not  be beneficiaries .

Vest... Back soon.

Birthdays... History... and Un Birthdays

     Today in Most of Australia  The Queen of the Commonwealth's Birthday will be celebrated
Chronologically this elderly old crone lord bless her royal socks  will turn 89 years and 48 days of age.
Her royal highness Aunt Betty will share her Birth year  with such notables as Marilyn Monroe June 1, 1926, Fidel Castro Aug 13- 1926  And David Attenborough May 8 1926, Also an old geezer named Vest ; Yours truly was born (yes born) On July 16-1926, Gorgeous Marilyn was pronounced deceased on Aug 4 -1962 the day I was posted and arrived in 'Fragrant Harbour H/K back in 1962.
     However, it was on this day the ninth day of June in  632 the year of our lord that Mohammed the founder of the Islamic religion Died and  is currently cavorting with numerous virgins in that big Mosque in the heavens, but it was ten years earlier that Big Mo took flight from Mecca on July 16  622, which formed the foundation day for the Islamic Religion.( I sometimes wonder if the world would be a better place if Big Mo had missed his flight on that Magic Carpet.
Alas Big Mo was not the only horror with a 'big' name, as it came to pass in 1945 on my Nineteenth birthday July 16 that the biggest bomb ever was exploded in the new Mexico Desert; the dreaded 'Atom Bomb. Then followed the next world changing event the Apollo Eleven Moon probe which blasted off at 2100hrs GMT on the 16th of July 1969> Getting back to the later Atom bombs on Japan I firmly believe it saved many lives  particularly those who like myself were with the Vanguard of the forces off  the coast of Japan intent on bringing the sons of Nippon to their knees at a great cost to life and limbs.
"I don't Believe it" I have been informed that a place this Guy called Nuzilland a kiwi no doubt Say's we had a Queens birthday last week and another bloke tells me that the Sand gropers in Western Strayer are having one on September 28.
I am hoping to go to the UK as soon as my youngest son gets his passport organised but shall not calling on my favourite rello good Queen Bess..
All for now . Vest....Back soon

Religeous Tolerance.

Subject: Tolerance 101

 "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Sydney. I think it should be the goal of every Australian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."

“That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, 'The Turban Cowboy' and the other, a topless bar, would be called 'You Mecca Me Hot'."

“Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called 'Iraq of Ribs'."

“Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret' with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods and on the other side a liquor store called 'Morehammered'. All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us."

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point, it is either past your bedtime, or it's midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed."