Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Frequent Flying Fatty Forced To Forkout For Further Fare

A grossly overweight Welshman U/K was made to pay double fare on his flight to and from Ireland, because of his hefty girth which required two seats. But owing to the Irish element involved in the booking and seating arrangement he was allocated two seats which were rows apart.

Welshman Mr Price says only an Irish airline could cock up twice when his seats were either side of another passengers seat. Mr Price who weighs 230Kilos or 490 lbs Say's it is one of numerous problems he faces.
 It now seems that airlines will be charging overweight persons exceeding 127KG  a double fare. some will provide larger seats for bigger bums, the price will be similar to premium economy class or more..
As for the other domestic seating arrangements it is now possible to incorporate larger seating facilities in your lavatory or powder room which ever you prefer to name it, OK  for Aussies it is the rest room or dunny , so there are scores of names worldwide but  the one most widely used in all languages is the siht, hist, isht etc house. a post on the common or uncommon bog seat is in the offing soon. so hold on ; nothing is more pleasurable and relaxing after anxiously  running a successful race to the lavatory

Take a sqizz at this while sitting down for a while

Back soon ...Vest..

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Victoria's Historic Dungpolly Peanut Farm.50TH Anniversary. An S D YARN. ?

A friend who recently returned from visiting relatives in Victoria Australia had this unusual story to unfold far fetched or not it is supposedly true and according to the person spoken to  in a one pub town where he was visiting.
The story unfolds about the time when French Onion Johnnies on bicycles flooded the Southern English countryside, having come over from France in boats full of  onions strung together which they carried in panniers on their bikes and over their shoulders to entice customers. Whether or not this still happens I am uncertain . However it came to pass that the person in question and his brother  were not only flogging onions but also that  'C' drug which even sniffer dogs were unable to detect in large carved out onions  containing cocaine wrapped in plastic sprayed with lashings of garlic.  but after a few onion seasons someone cocked up and the racket was spotted by the pommy constabulary, these wooden tops not being too sharp, allowed our subject and his girlfriend Polly a former local streetwalker from Southampton to dodge the law,
A hand to mouth existence was not for Polly so she dobbed in  her lover to the fuzz who kept him under surveillance and the Gendarmes knobbled him for possession and he was awarded a light custodial sentence in the slammer, then after his release, Polly the ex girl friend decided  to part company and she demanded a release payment which meant one of his five houses in France had to be sold to grease her grubby palms, Jack we can now call him but not his real name.being of farming stock decided to sell up and flee the country( France) but having a criminal record was of little help,.
 Then  came the opportunity for Jack.With  the testimony  of Polly who demands further dosh to cover her ass at the inquest of Jacks elder brother who suddenly and very conveniently carked it from a self administered overdose.
 After discovering Jacks brother Paul deceased a quickly devised plot to swap identities took place and first of all was the shaving of Paul's  moustache.
It was at the height of summer and the flies had been to work on Paul when Jack  returned a week or so later with his newly acquired lip whiskers to re discover his brother Paul's corpse and call the frog Bobbies who summoned Polly to join  the scene the next day in the mortuary where she and a couple of short sighted locals swore on  oath that the body was that of Jack; plus being they were aware of Jacks drug issues the Gendarmes closed the case.
Soon after fully funded and travelling on his brother Paul's passport Jack ended up in Victoria Australia where he purchased a failed farm  which had lain fallow for several years.  Jack was not new to farming and hard graft  so he got stuck into his new venture which he  learned about what  to do and  what not to do  from an ex East African farmers journal..
Clearing the land from years of scrub growth , this was done by dragging ex navy ship or mooring cables by two bulldozers a hundred feet apart, a controlled burn off and elimination of weed and tons of cow Dung spread around then ploughed in, this  left a pristine area of land full of growth potential , And when done he noted in his diary (without  the interference of the dreaded Tetse Fly) which the Brits encountered during the failed ground nut scheme  during the fifties in Tanganyika. Jack was successful and is due to commence work shortly on another property, Jack who now calls himself Paul say's  grinning" am I not my brothers keeper" Jack/Paul now in his seventies has four workaholic sons who  rarely seem to  venture forth from the property it would also seem the Still and supply of wacky baccy  plus a few sheep keep them in  a state of contentment, must have had a KIWI mother?, but there is no mention of the mother or mothers of the now four grown men. but a lot of speculation exists
Jack/Paul was quite jocular when discussing his mailing addresses although  trickydickyville or  Joh -floville had been considered  he finally settled after remembering the word Dung which he said  had a  certain ring to it , so he made his decision and combined the name of his dreadful scheming ex girlfriend with dung,
So when you pass that property in the outback of Victoria Australia named "DUNGPOLLY  you will know about its History; in about a weeks time it will be fifty years old
You think I am fibbing don't you, or am  I , Some weird things go on in country Victoria. there is a lot of history about skulduggery hiding down there. so be careful. them country bumbkin Victorians are  a queer bunch. some would like to bump off the author of this publication.

Copyright. Vest daily

Sunday, 27 October 2013

Post no 1411. Travellers to Geat Britain(UK) Beware. plus Halloween 'A Con'.

Travellers heading for Britain have bee warned to beware of the weather as the nation battens down the hatches for the biggest storm in Twenty six years.
The storm formed in the gulf of Mexico and has been rapidly bearing down on Britain. Forecasters have warned its strength is approaching the infamous1987 'Great Storm, with winds up to 200km/h, which killed 18 people and destroyed Fifteen million trees in southern England ( An unconfirmed report that several hundred greenies suicided hasn't been traced as yet).
The storm has already been named the St Jude's Storm - named after the patron saint of lost causes believed to be a Victorian blogger from OZtrayer. whose feast day falls on this coming Monday.It is expected that the storm will stuff up the British having 'Yankee inspired Halloween celebrations'.
 Halloween may be seen as a treat for children but those of us with a brain believe it is a trick by the CON fectionary industry to exploit fat children who normally do not walk and sit at computers most of their sedentary lives. On our front Door on the 31st expect to see a "Bugger off" sign.
As for the storm, the pommy Chief Forecaster at the Met office said the storm was likely to  rapidly intensify just west of the U/K late on Sunday night before tracking across England and Wales on Monday in time for Halloween.

Who knows where inspiration comes from? Perhaps it arises from desperation.
Perhaps it comes from the flukes of the universe, the kindness of the muses.

Readers are cordially invited to comment on this post and where possible a reply to your comment will be in order. Particularly those pommy rello's from the old Dirt. Enjoy your storm. tell me all about it first hand.

Enjoy your Halloween,      Vest,...... Back very soon.

Friday, 25 October 2013

Blogging,.Not dead yet. plus more on Sunday 27th

It seemed that the arrival of face book would sound the death knell for bloggers, face book being an easy way to communicate between persons with  minimal brain power and pictures far more interesting to dumb heads than to have to figure out what the blogger had to divulge to his or her readers, as one Canadian female blogger suggested some time back ,"Face book is like masturbating without the mess",.Plus over the years of its existence a source of a great deal of criminal activity.
Trying to get people to pause momentarily and indicate they have read your post and occasionally actually writing a comment of more than a one liner is becoming a thing of the past, however the picture chasing brigade are still visiting my blog according to Google and Adsense, my three figure payment arriving every Quarter suggests there is more interest in gazing at the glossy ads which adorn my posts. however as long as the info going out is read and and is found to be useful or entertaining in same form or other, I shall continue to 'CARRY ON Blogging until exhaustion claims me. Oh by the way those few followers who find time to stop and chat;'Thank You".

Here is the secret of inspiration.Tell yourself that a multitude of people not too intelligent and certainly no more than the rest of us, have mastered problems as difficult as those that now baffle you. Vest... Back soon.

BTW: Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg  set a new record for corporate compensation in 2012 with a package worth more than U/S $2.3 Billion. Zuckerberg also Zucked up from facebook followers a salary of  U/S $ 503,000 and a bonus U/S $266,000. let us hope the poor creature doesn't waste it on riotous living..

 Since posting on the 25th Oct 48 hours ago although weekend callers are fewer than those those who  would in most cases use their employers facilities during working hours, it is surprising to have 63 callers to this post, ADVERT readers in the main. yet during the same period I have  put 17 comments on other persons blogs in order for them to feel wanted in some form or another.

Came over ill last night, thought it was flu but since have decided I was bitten by a spider while working in the garden, a spider  less virulent to that of a red back or a death dealing female funnel web spider. I still feel under the weather but plodding on..... Vest

No flowers By Request.

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Bushfires Devastation.

OK then you have heard about it and had it thrust down your throats and it's boring if it does not involve you personally, however a lot of home truths regarding this Bushfire problems surface while this problem exists but shelved when the problem goes away.
Before the invasion of Australia by the British in 1788  the local indigenous tribes would back burn in the winter and remove the possibilities of fires around their settlements, but since then and at the present time the Stupid Greenies in Councils various, use threats of various forms of punishment for the removal of dead trees and undergrowth by tenants of property in these fire prone areas.
One guy I know waited several weeks into a possible(waiting for approval period of a year) before deciding to remove a dead tree likely to fall on his house in an (Act of God) not covered by his insurance. reason being the council fine would be far less expensive than the repairs to his house caused by the tree should it have happened to fall on said house,. he is still refusing to pay the council fine.
One crafty old Aborigine once told me rain dances were the thing and years gone by, whities would request the services of the  black fellers rain dance, nowadays he Say's rain dances are more likely to bring a result when only finding time for such after studying a short term weather forecast.
Oh and the other thing I would like to mention is the lack of response from neighbouring  countries who in their times of emergency are inundated with assistance from all walks of life in Australia and so we should despite their unthoughtfulness with regard to our plight at the present time.

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much..... Vest , back soon.

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Understanding Engineers.

Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

Two engineers???
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said STEVEN, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving as Members of Parliament.

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Food from China - very important to our health.



The whole world is scared of China made 'black hearted goods'. Can you differentiate which one is made in the USA , Philippines , Taiwan or China ?

For your Information ... the first 3 digits of the barcode is the country code wherein the product was made.

E.g.: all barcodes that start with 690 up to 695 are all MADE IN CHINA.

471 is Made in Taiwan.

This is our human right to know, but the government and related department never educate the public, therefore we have to RESCUE ourselves.

Nowadays, Chinese businessmen know that consumers do not prefer products 'made in China ', so they don't show from which country it is made.

However, you can refer to the barcode, remember if the first 3 digits are 690 to 695, then it is Made in China .

00 ~ 13 USA & CANADA
30 ~ 37 FRANCE
40 ~ 44 GERMANY
49 ~ JAPAN
50 ~ UK
57 ~ Denmark
64 ~ Finland
76 ~ Switzerland and Lienchtenstein
628 ~ Saudi-Arabia
629 ~ United Arab Emirates
740 ~ 745 - Central America
All 480 Codes are Made in the Philippines

Now read on below for specifics on goods from China to protect yourself, your family, and your friends.

This is sickening but it is an alert to read labels and always buy fresh when you can.

Have a taste for chicken? READ THIS

WATCH WHAT YOU BUY. ESPECIALLY HIGHLINER FISH PRODUCTS; all come from China, even though the box says 'product of Canada', it is from China and 'processed' in Canada, that is, the coating is added and packaged in Canada only!

The fish are raised in pens using chemicals that are banned in Canada as cancer causing but legal in China .

This was exposed on CBC TV's Marketplace.

This one will make you think before buying anything from China .

Well, are you enjoying seeing Chinese food popping up in your supermarket left and right? Have you noticed you can't buy a single package of fish that isn't made in China (or Vietnam )? Do you think your food from China is processed in a sanitary manner, and thus safe to eat? Take a look at this!!

These undercover enclosed pictures speak a thousand words. Avoid buying all processed food packaged in China. Anything goes! We just don't know what else is in those packages.

Unlike in the U.S. CANADA and Australia , China does not have laws regulating food processing.

Basically, do not buy any processed food from China , also Hong Kong , too. MANY Chinese companies are using a Hong Kong address to avoid this type of image reputation.

Early dawn, starts the day by riding around to collect dead chickens.

Asking around for dead chickens.

Total of 5 riders are hired by the boss to ride to farms to buy dead chickens.

A dead chicken cost 1 RMB and would be sold at 9 RMB after processing.

Storage for the dead chickens in the court yard.

Carcasses are thrown everywhere.
And on the floor....

Four employees start de-feathering the dead fowl after soaking in boiling water from a rusty wok.

Enduring the pungent odor, but sometime, it get so terrible that even the most experienced of the workers would puke.

Workers rushing to get the chickens de-feathered.

A discarded bath tub being used to soak the bare skin dead chickens.... The contaminated water would have accelerated the decomposition process.

Wearing slippers walking among the chickens before the colouring processing.

After the colour dye, it's creepy to find that they are quite tenderized.

And now presenting the mouth watering Charcoal Roasted Chicken!

Send to as many people as possible. Do NOT buy food originating in China (or Vietnam or Thailand)!

Take the time to read the labels and look for country of origin!


Friday, 18 October 2013

Train trip to Nowra and back.

Its a bitova tossup whether the pain of travelling by train is less than that of spending 150 bucks more and drive the 700 kilometres there and back. It is quicker by car but without the relaxation of the train should you be lucky to find a good seat, but it is the in between drag that spoils the train journey, like carting luggage up 48 steps then down to get to the train platform, then arriving at Central Station Sydney another problem - going down 30 odd steps to walk ten Min's along three underground corridors then down more steps to destination platform 25, to catch another train for most of the rest of the rail journey, and of course you are faced with the reverse of the problems during the return journey. Parts of the train journey, conversation with fellow travellers  broke the tedium of staring at piles of sleepers - cows -  sheep and gum trees.
During the return journey, a half  hour wait at Central Station was enough for us to seek out Hungry Jacks burger joint, and what a crabby looking place it turned out to be, Grubby , dismal and not too inviting, the filthy swing door for access was surrounded by the greasy dirty floor , the smiling Asian person served me my two cheeseburgers(one each) Our rumbling tummies won over whether to or not eat.
Rail Corp, This is something you can do to improve the spectre of Central Station, seriously in need of a shake up.
The time spent on our sons large property was relaxing and enjoyable, with visits from Roos and Wallabies - but wasn't too impressed by their local 70's deco Bowling Club closing at 9pm Fri Sat and Sunday..

"Hope is the dream of the waking man". ... Back soon Vest.

Thursday, 17 October 2013

WHO SAID FOOTBALLERS AREN'T INTELLIGENT AND WORTH £200,000 PER WEEK? ?Are they any brighter than Aussie Thugby Goons. ?


"My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7. "
David Beckham
"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
Mark Viduka
"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level.
Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level.
But he's the best manager I've ever had
David Beckham
"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day."
Neville Southall
"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable."
Paul Gascoigne
"I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well."
Alan Shearer
"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona "
Mark Draper
"You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out."
Peter Shilton
"I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester ."
Stan Collymore
"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham .
My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing
Ade Akinbiyi
"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."
Ian Wright
"I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier."
Ugo Ehiogu
"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."
Jonathan Woodgate
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
Stuart Pearce
"I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right."
Lee Hendrie
"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
Ian Rush
" Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today."
Steve Lomas
"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."
Barry Venison
"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."
David Beckham
"The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European."
Phil Neville
"All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed."
Mitchell Thomas
"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
Alan Shearer
"I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd."
Johnny Giles
"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
Thierry Henry

 Sent in by Malcolm, U/K.

Quotes are nothing but inspiration for the uninspired.. Vest.... Back soon.

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Sony 101cm (40in) Bravia LCD FHD Issue

Thought you might like to read what my son Chris just posted on the website...

On Saturday, 10 March 2012 I purchased a Sony 101cm (40in) Bravia LCD FHD television from Retravision at Lake Haven in NSW for $675.

On Saturday, 28 September 2013 (18 months later) I turned it on and was confronted with a rainbow of horizontal flickering colours that started about 10cm down and continued to the bottom.

On Monday, 30 September 2013 I contacted Sony on 1300 13 7669 and was given a reference number of 795346 and told a repair person would contact me within 48 hours to fix it.

On Tuesday morning, 8 October 2013 I had still not heard from the repair person and contacted Sony again, only to be told sorry and that a repair person would contact me within 24 hours.

This afternoon, Wednesday, 9 October 2013 I had still not heard from the repair person, so I contacted Sony again, and again was told sorry, but this time, to contact the repair person myself. I at first declined, because it is not a good idea to encourage irresponsibility.  However, the person on the other end said that they couldn't make calls from there (no doubt a call centre in India somewhere) and that was the only way to do it.

So I called the number I was given: (02) 4929 7669 and spoke to someone at City Central Electronics in Newcastle NSW and they told me that because I was in Budgewoi NSW that I would have to call their Central Coast NSW branch on (02) 4353 4899. They responded that they had my paperwork but it would cost about $180 for someone to come out and advise if the TV could repaired because the warranty was only for 12 months. I declined.

As you can imagine. After being frigged around by both Sony and City Central Electronics I am now feeling rather revengeful and my current thought is to call the Daily Telegraph for an exclusive of me throwing the TV through one of Sony's windows at Macquarie Park NSW and the story of why.

Yes. I realise I will get arrested and the cost, fine etc., but it's the least I can do in the public interest and get great publicity for Sony at the same time. They don't call me Crazy Chris for nothing.

Anyway, seems it is about time to pop out and buy another TV, but guess what brand it will not be.

Vest Has Left the Building

To advise that Vest (Les Bowyer) passed away this morning. Regards, Chris (Son).