Sunday, 31 July 2016

Cricket I have your wicket.

      Australia have just been beaten  by Sri Lanka in the first test in Galle S L. Last month the SL'S were soundly beaten by England in all forms of the game which does not look too good for  Australia , For those geographically dead in the head Australia is approximately 100 times greater than Sri Lanka and both have a similar population  and is 11 hours flying time from Sydney and 5hrs from Port Hedland WA Aus.
     For the people who are devoid of cricket knowledge here is my explanation of that revered and historic game. a rerun from a former post.

                                         CRICKET  IV"E GOT YOUR WICKET.
The following preamble is a laymans explanation of the rules of cricket to the good  people of North America.
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he is out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When one side are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that has been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice, after the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
The general rules of actual play are saturated with a glossary of terms and conditions with sub rules, with the prefixes 'Unless, depending, benefit of doubt, and other Misc Claptrap, every morsel of important cricket goings on is recorded in WISDEN a sacred hard to get book with more info on cricket than Brittanica, from the time the first ball was bowled in Hambledon Hampshire England in the early 19th century . There is more to read in Wisden than the 'Holy Bible' or the 'SevenPillars of WISDOM'.
Any Cricket Jokes?

Vest ....Back soon... Over & 'OUT'

Saturday, 30 July 2016


     My Computer has been upgraded and its content is completely unlike its predecessor , it will take time for me to get around it al.l.
Words for Wednesday are below..

Plus "I was wondering if you could solve a silly argument". ..

This is my composition  for today's words.

      I was wondering if (SOMEONE) Or you could solve a silly argument ? My eldest son aged 61 is telling me that my new PCW10 is easy. My son has spent several ( DAYS) converting my aged PC into something his brain conceived and expects my 90 year old noddle to grasp this altogether new system in a flash, well he is wrong as I am aware it will take me far more time than he did to conceive it,. to him it is simple. However, as I sit (LONELY) at my PC wondering if a (HOAXER) has been at work being that all of the bells and whistles I knew before have been substituted for a host of new ones and has left me like  jumping (HOPSCOTCH) from one square to another and in turn getting me (HOTTER) under the collar with frustration.
     A few years before I joined the RN I was taught  or better still I leaned the Morse Code and the Naval code of Flag Signals, although when the USA entered the WW2 the Morse code remained the   same (SOMEONE) minus a brain made a confusing decision and the flags were substituted for the International code, meaning the same flags indelible in my head were given differing meanings.  However there was one exception.
The Navy flag 'C,' A square flag envelope shape divided, black to mast , blue to fly, red to deck and yellow on high, became flag Z or Zee as was pronounced by the US Navy, so C became Zee but for all intents and purposes the meanings remained the same,  Flown at the mast head  It's meaning was the same in both codes "I Require a Tug".
Other Meaningful Flag signals may seem humorous like flag 'V' White with red X marking like the Irish flag it means " I need assistance" or that of the Scottish flag - flag M - White with Blue X meaning " My vessel is Stopped"..About right I reckon.

"The Best is yet to be" .... Vest Back soon.


Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Upgrading my Computer back as soon as possibl

Yes it is a blank. However, you may like to take  a look at earlier posts. Thank You .
Vest.... Back soon.

Saturday, 23 July 2016

Most of the World Navies lower deck Sailors Wear Effeminate Uniforms.

The Sailor’s Uniform
For many years, sailors in the Royal Navy waited for the privilege to
leave their ship or establishment out of uniform. In the early 1950’s, this
privilege was finally granted, but only in shore establishments. In 1965, it
was extended to ships, but only in British Commonwealth ports of call.
Should anyone dare suggest that my descendants wear a Gilbert and
Sullivan comic opera-type navy uniform, I would cheerfully see them
dead before allowing it. People who wear these uniforms may feel proud
for a while, but the novelty wears off very quickly when you discover
you have been dressed to fit into a subordinate category and are
identified as such. Furthermore, you are obliged to cringe, bow, and
grovel before all other navy personnel who are dressed in attire that is
more comfortable. The higher their order of rank, the more difficult it is
to communicate with them. This sort of situation gives the word ‘rank’ a
different definition. You can easily recognise these Dartmouth Desmond's
because they elevate their twitching noses like pompous peacocks when
they address you. During any conversation, you will be forced to listen to
cod’s wallop like “I say, old chap” or” I say, Smith” or “Jolly good, oh get
on with it” or “Damn good show” and “Rugger Soccer” and “Twickers.”
By this time, you will wish you had joined the salvos, who at least
command respect no matter what IQ they have. Sitting on their arses and
legally collecting money and smiling at people cannot be all that bad.
If you have ever struggled to get into a British Navy sailor’s uniform,
you will know how uncomfortably hot and itchy it is. The useless black
silk and lanyard just make it easier for shore-going assassins to be able to
strangle you in a punch-up.
Most sailors during my Royal Navy days (including those from other
countries) couldn’t wait to take off these peculiar uniforms that are
reminiscent of the days of wigs and crinolines.
The USA, a former colony of Britain and the world leader when it
comes to reform and futuristic ideology, has also missed the boat when it
comes to uniforms. Although its lower-deck sailor’s uniform lacks the
distinctive pantomime look of the French and British theatrical costume,
in my opinion it still looks flamboyant and effeminate.
Gene Kelly, Old Blue Eyes, and other stars were seen cavorting gaily
about in sailor’s uniforms in semi-ancient Hollywood movies, but they
were paid astronomical fees for doing so.
Nowadays, girls, women, etc. avoid relationships with long-absent
seagoing lovers, unless of course they are strict or religious or perhaps
desperate, pregnant, or just plain ugly. Nevertheless, I admire those dear
few ladies who love waiting and appreciate what they are waiting for.
My message to you black-tie bigwigs with your myriads of medals is:
Cast your eyes upon the plight of your lower-deck men. It’s time they
wore sophisticated uniforms that make them look like men. Put the old,
outdated uniforms where they belong – with cocked hats, penny-farthing
bicycles, grandma’s box of musty mementos, and rusty tins of used gramophone needles.

Friday, 22 July 2016

2nd Words on Wednesday


 Vest 2nd Composition.

     It is usually with a FEELING of relief when one departs after attending a BEWITCHING CANDLE light supper at Mrs Bucket's  (Pronounced Bouquet)  upmarket EXHIBITION residence.
      The pomposity of this garrulous GUSHING Lady ? is beyond belief, who one, dares not attempt to interrupt, while she is prattling off to her bored CAPTIVE audience.
       It is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed by someone possibly wiser than one's self. Vest ....back soon.

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

WORDS ON WEDNESDAY ( The village Bike.)

     These Are the Words For Wednesday

It is now up to you to compose a story  yarn or a poem or even a limerick (That would be hard )


     This is my Composition.. By Vest.
     The FEELINGS  of the persons who attended the newly formulated  evening EXHIBITION  Highlighted by the impressive coloured CANDLE  lights and who  had created impressive floral exhibits but failed to impress the GUSHING  judge who obviously was  favouring Lord and Lady Cods Wallop's tawdry exhibit (Or that of their gardeners) As was usually the case  followed by the exhibit by the village Squire and his newly acquired leggy blonde  wife whose visible Undercarriage was highlighted by her BEWITCHING see through attire which thrilled a CAPTIVE audience of gawking village idiots yelling their approval of the Squires  latest acquisition - formerly the village Bike.

I am likely to be put in the Village Stocks for this one.

Vest back soon.

Saturday, 16 July 2016

The BIG 90 Today

         Dear Friends and Relatives

     Today July  16  2016 I have reached a pinnacle of life I least expected , I consider myself to be a lucky person having survived to this Grand Age.
     There have been many pitfalls during my lifetime which with perseverance were overcome by a steady as you go attitude to life and not expect that others should do my bidding and to put to good purpose my own allotted measure of commonsense and a willingness to make things happen. I have lived a healthy lifestye mostly in my later years and the deprivations of my early years taught me to appreciate the better things in later life common to many people. I have survived several conflicts Other than minor marital happenings however, all is well and my partnership with my Wife Rosemary has always been compatible for the past 63 years, it also gives me pleasure knowing I have a great family whom I love unconditionally plus many friends whom I love and respect and am grateful for their acceptance of me
     To all all of the nice people who have conveyed their good wishes to me and recently for my Wife Rosemary a Big Big "Thank you.".

,Grand father Father and Uncle Leslie. XOX.

Friday, 15 July 2016

Tomorrow In History.

    It was on July 16 during the Gregorian Calendar year 622  approx 1,394 years ago when Mohammad took flight from Mecca to Medina but the Muslim calendar will tell you it was 1,427 years ago. So it would seem a Muslim person  person reaching 98.7  Gregorian years tomorrow  will have reached 100  Hal Al years. I wonder how the world would be if  big MO had missed his flight. its all too weird for words.

 Also on July 16 1945 The first Atomic Explosion  was tested In the New Mexico desert  in the USA..

 Then on July 16 1969 at 2100 hrs British Summer Time (B S T) the  Apollo 11 crew took flight to the Moon..

 And finally . On July 16 1926,  Yours truly VEST was hatched at 21 , Homerton High Street, Hackney, London E8 England.  And the world rejoiced, er I dun Fink so.being  the world  around me already had more than its share of problems

 May we all be given  the serenity to accept things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
 Vest..... back soon. be good.

Thursday, 14 July 2016

Second "Words on Wednesday"

 The second list: 
  1. clip
  2. tie
  3. previous
  4. greet
  5. attack
  6. serve
      This my  Composition

     Joining the RSL Club was an ATTACK on my privacy, but particularly annoying by the meathead who towered over me asking personal questions as if I was a newly born  or a Nozzer joining the R/Navy. He having perused my service records he and his fellow inquisitor seemed a little embarrassed - my thwarting icy stare on  saying thank you  followed their remark of "Quite a distinguished service sir, "Yes I replied" However his final  SERVE as good as a CLIP around the ear was "remember to wear a TIE the next time you call"
     A few days later following my PREVIOUS encounter, I fronted up to the overweight beer swiller. with black TIE whose  main purpose was to GREET patrons who had legitimate access to the club and remove those  who had not, As  I flashed my new club card when  I passed his desk  he replied "OI oo  are you,; show me your card" Oh its you the POM  who Joined last week "Yes I replied You have had a chat with your fellow Bludging Galahs  who cannot say the word English man . I then reminded him that when I become the President of the club he and his cronies would be looking for another occupation should they continue their anti social  remarks.

" If you are strong there are no precedents."

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Words for Wednesday..A Greek Tragedy.

                                                        Words for this Wednesday


This is my Greek Tragedy.

     The more recent Greek tragedy concerning Greece, brought about by the failure of the Greeks to fulfill their obligations to the EEC, were minuscule compared to the BROAD list of indiscretions   Which could be perpetrated  by members of a  BEWILDERED and HELPLESS population under Draco's  DRACONIAN administration who had no redress if convicted and capital punishment would BE the inevitable result. It would be a toss up who was the worse tyrant he or Mr Schiclegruber  - aka Adolf H who exited our world in 1945.
     Fortunately for the Greeks  the tide turned after  a mutinous  insurrection and  Draco the unloved was unseated from power and was replaced by Solon who abolished Draco's laws and instigated laws which would IMPRESS the population , the laws included  a graduated income tax scale and  rewards for ambitious ideas
     More is the pity one cannot resurrect  Solon with a dab of Lazarus oil in order to put him to good use by using his ideas to implant into the minds of our great range of governments around the Globe.
     What our world needs is  people who specialise in the impossible.


Sunday, 10 July 2016

Low Flying Porkers Pillory Public 'P' Platers.

Most motorists have their own anecdotal stories to tell of police cars brazenly flouting the traffic laws for no apparent reason.

Now there is hard evidence that these are not just stories. The revelation that last financial year 1433 police cars were caught breaking the road rules without reason is worryingly high, given there are about 16,000 officers in NSW.

But it should be kept in perspective - the lead-foot officers behind the wheel did not get off without consequence. They had to pay their fines, a combined $345,904, and they lost demerit points too, as would any other motorist. And they were subject to internal investigations by safe driver committees, which is entirely appropriate.

But the behaviour of the minority is unhelpful to the overall objectives of reducing the road toll.

There is already building resentment among some motorists about the punitive measures used in NSW to enforce the road rules. State Government policies have been severe, from double-demerit point weekends to a widening network of fixed-speed cameras. Still to come is the roll-out of 200 more red-light cameras, which will generate thousands of fines.

The NSW Police Force is keen to keep the road toll under 400 this year. This is a goal that deserves widespread community support. However, it is obvious the police hierarchy still has a job ahead convincing their own officers to drive safely and lawfully at all times.

Reckless attitudes to the road rules among a minority of officers serves only to undermine public support and confidence.

There is also a 'T' Junction  adjacent to a Coles Supermarket coming out of  Tenth Avenue Budgewoi NSW Where I live. and a Give Way sign  on the cross road  on the right  Which is Totally ignored by 98% of  all Vehicles . Buses Public service vehicles Every one,  there have been A few prangs but I am surprised there haven't been more,  The reason for the Give Way being there is to keep traffic flowing to avoid a bottle neck Other than that the people ignoring the Give way sign would have right of way. 

Traffic fines issued to govt agency cars last year.
NSW POLICE, 1,433.
Ambulance service, NSW, 341.
Energy Australia, 321.
NSW Fire Brigade, 263.
Dept of Community Services, 247.
Rail Corp, 199.
Roads and Traffic Authority, 190.
Dept of Education and Training, 153.
State Transit Authority, 149.
Dept of Corrective Services, 145.

Friday, 8 July 2016

The 2nd Words on Wednesday

   Here are the Words


   I have a habit of reading The Sydney Daily Telegraph History column and again a familiar name crops up, which gives me the right to air my TASTY  BONE of contention.
     The people who write some of this Gush have no more idea what they are printing than my great AUNT GABBY Whose X RAY of her noddle  revealed a complete emptiness.
     Let the truth be known, that the said historic person the Parramatta NSW Judge Advocate Richard Atkins, stated to the Governor of NSW Australia Phillip Gidley King on July 8 1805, that as Aborigines are without morals or religion, they cannot give evidence in a case of law.
     So much for that statement from no other than a completely untrustworthy person whose real given birth name was Richard Bowyer ( a likely relative)  It would be a great idea to read his Wiki or google profile to get a better picture of this Despot whose drunken antics and poor judgement of those who fell foul of him  would suggest he came top of the class in Judge Jefferies (The hanging Judge) school of law..
     Richard Bowyer Atkins  was eventually given his marching orders although his Wife and family despaired of him and left earlier for the UK,  little is known of his lifestyle after arriving in the UK..
     Richard Bowyer was the fith son of Sir William Bowyer whose country seat was in Denham Court Buckinghamshire. The elder of the five brothers was George who retired as a rear Admiral
to Radley Oxfordshire after losing a leg during the battle of Ushant 1793 his house now The'BOWYER ARMS is a large Public house Hotel eight miles from Chalgrove where I lived as a child and visited last time iin the UK 2015.
     Another brother was a general in the British Army who served in Florida in the 1700s I believe a fort was named after him in Florida. However, the two remaining Brothers I have little knowledge of.
     I shall have to STAY a little longer to finish giving you more details regarding yours truly Tricky Dickiie AKA  Richard Bowyer..
      Richard Bowyer was sent to serve in the British Army  and was known to have served as an adjutant in the Isle OF Man Corps,. During this period he became involved in lots of Miscellaneous skulduggery plus running foul of the law and becoming  into debt. His father Sir William who despaired of him had words with Lord Atkins who was without issue and who took him in as family until the bubble burst again and sent him packing with his family and a healthy stipend to Australia.
      The only peculiar thing about this TRUE STORY perhaps is that My Wife and I have five sons too and just recently we  assisted  our fith son - our prodigal son to move to Queensland up north about 2000 miles from us.
       Like history coming back to bite us  Les BOWYER , AKA VEST
My spell check is out.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

Words on Wednesday.

 These are the words for Wednesday
compiled from 'Elephants Child".



This is my Composition.

    It has been years since I used a Gym for keeping fit, part of my former occupation was spent in the BOILING sun, this in turn was in direct COMPETITION  with an occasional visit to the gym.
     The Brochure I received in the mail box relating to this activity states "The only people you will come in contact with are those of your own weight and size  problems."
   When I STOP to think about it I realise the people sending me this stuff in the mail have no idea about persons of my age - OUR PRECIOUS HOURS ARE TICKING AWAY and  CAN only guess or hope they find someone in need of their services, although in my case they  get it wrong despite the fact I am not likened to a KNOTTY  Arny Swartznegger - once described by a prominent Sydney Talk Show host as a 'Condom full of Walnuts' I may only be a smigein over-weight and far from a porky, but I would be happy If I could SCRAPE off about five or more Kilos
     You hear gossip about people being mocked and bullied over their weight at the weight loss centres, that is the reason such people mentioned  don't bother to attend again when this happens.
     There are people who frequently use  the Gyms as a source to procure lovers or for the admiration of others. most of these are failed lothario's and would be Miss worlds but mostly Miss Dubbo's and D grade Celebs - occasionally flashing their parts hoping someone is perving or visa versa - particularly in the showers after a workout.. Going back a fair bit  to the time I last frequented a Gym I always tried to be annonymous and got dressed quickly and not talk to anyone - particularly when in the Buff and always turn away from people when drying ones private parts and don ones undies poste haste. and most importantly during this process 'one should never Bend over.'
Vest Daily Gaggle.....Back soon.

Saturday, 2 July 2016


                                The driving test medical exam , Election day  Sat July 2.. 2016.
     Chaos on the local roads very few parking areas and after voting I somehow managed to find a parking spot; although a trifle cramped for space on my Starboard side due to the wheels  of the other vehicle being about four inches-10 cm away from the allotted line. Getting out of the car and putting my hand on the edge of my door was still a struggle to get out of the car. The Lady? driver of the other car yelled "You touched my car", 'Yes" I replied "with my hand and you Madam sad to say are improperly parked" . Her reply was "Don't Madam me, if you have marked my car I shall kick your door in"  There was no mark but I took her car Reg Number and left her mumbling. I just smiled blew her a kiss and left, "Who breeds with these people."?.
     I checked into the doctors surg and was told there would be an hour to wait at least, so I drove home only two Min's away  for a cuppa and returned later .
     Watching the TV in the waiting room an Archery demonstration was in progress, the Docs Sec said  'All high tech stuff now Mr Bowyer" "yes you are right " I replied- my ancestors who made Bows from the YEW tree would be bewildered. but what is more odd is that my last residence in the UK was  Mr Bowyer at a 27 Yew tree Avenue.(True)
     The Doctor a Mr Singh standing in for Ajay my regular Doc ( On holiday again) set about asking me several intrusive question regarding my health  which would have taken more time than a heart transplant Say's you nearly left it too late  for this exam , BTW do you exercise ? "yes " I replied" I then lied I had been down to Melbourne for the over 70's Olympics  and was a contestant in the  Quarter Marathon and Cycling over twenty Ks Sprint. The doc gave me a strange look - signed the form I breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing I can drive for yet another year -Hopefully..

To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.

Vest ....Back later.

I visited my wife Rose on Mother's Day (yesterday) with my son Chris, his ex, Ruth, and fresh chrysanthemums and roses.