Thursday, 16 July 2009

The Birth of the Atomic Age

Vest, Yours truly was nineteen years of age on that day sixty four years ago when the test bomb exploded in the New Mexico desert. I do not recall any joyful activity on my part and the day was as meaningless as the continual visits from the 'One way Ticketed Divine Wind' Japanese Air force planes to the British Pacific Fleet. Mind you Uncle Sam's Boys were constantly visited being they were soft targets compared to the Brits. Its true, over a period of six months the yanks lost over forty ships, the Brit fleet of 70 ships lost none.
The 'A' Bombs were responsible for preventing a possible hundred fold more lives should the conventional warfare had continued to the bitter end. However unlike some poor souls I am still here with most of my faculties and still able to remember.

For you Muzzles out there, July 16 ad 622, the Muslim calendar began.

And at 2100hrs BST on July 16 1969, Apollo 11 took off for the Moon.

Also on July 16 1966, Simply lucky to make it through, I retired from my first job on a one third of pay pension from the RN.

Due to natural attrition, the decrease in our association members, has left me holding the job as chairman - secretary - treasurer and Rum Bosu'n. little wonder I am beginning to talk to myself.

Back later more than sooner, enjoy your day, Vest.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

The Sydney Daily Telegraph Stuffs Up Again. Bonehead Cricket writers this time

Here is the safe bet for the week, Were English cricketers cheating? Daily Telegraph July 14 (Bastard day-sorry Bastille Day) Vote here. An evens bet would double your dosh, Of course a bunch of one eyed morons suffering from a bout of sour grapes would scream yes, then I was surprised to note the "No" vote also proved that not every cricket follower was as biased as the majority.
In my opinion the the most dramatic part of the first test at Cardiff where the pitch resembled a Cow paddock, was the final hour.
The look of utter confidence within the OZ team when the wickets tumbled and the final pair of Pommy no hopers in the batting sense were faced with the daunting task of saving the game.
With sixty six balls to be bowled, the final pair did the unthinkable and batted for fifty minutes and saved the game, both not out at the end, maybe the result was due to the piss poor pedestrian bowling by the gaily prancing-cuddling over confident arrogant attitude of the team administered by their ball scratching scruffy unshaven nose picking gum chewing leader from Tasmania, Who obviously had the wrong head removed in his early years.
The list of dirty tricks used in the game of cricket is well known by most cricketers.The best trick is not getting found out, The list extends much further than the list the Daily Telegraph supplied.
However, this noble game was invented by the Poms (English) going back a fair bit - in a paddock in Hambledon Hampshire(Where a Wasp nest resided near the Style last time I went there) The game is not an even playing field, the toss of a coin gives the winner an unfair advantage to start with, and the game ends after a heap of controversy bitching and nail biting.
I'll finish by saying Ricky Ponting you may be a good exponent in the art of the game, but your 'Nit picking' and anti social appearance leaves much to be desired, Have you tried using soap?

This will be my last post for a while, my time will be taken up by a writing project over the next two or three weeks,if time allows I shall call to comment.
Have a thoughtful day, Vest.

Have your Sydney Daily Telegraph Delivered daily to your door and save big bucks. it also helps if you are too bone idle to walk in the rain to your local newsagent.

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Anyhow, old people are at least fifteen years older than me.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio ...

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 recently, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37.. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42.. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'. I'm in the 7%.
Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

Monday, 6 July 2009

The making of a Baby

This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'


'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted

Vest Has Left the Building

To advise that Vest (Les Bowyer) passed away this morning. Regards, Chris (Son).