Saturday, 29 September 2018

More jaw droppers. From Vest. D G.

 During the nineteenth century Entry into the tower of London was free if you brought a cat or a dog to feed to the lions.

Charles 11 of England Wore stilettos to his coronation. (Another Clam).

At least 170  Civil (Public) servants in the Uk are paid more than the prime minister.

Plants grow more quickly if you talk to them especially if you are a person named Prince Charles.

The rarest flower in Great Britain is the ladies slipper orchid, a single specimen lives on a golf course in Lancashire under police protection.

In French, Avocat means both 'Lawyer' and 'Avacado'.In German, Strauss means both Ostrich and bunch of flowers. In Norsk (Norwegian),pa'legg is anything that could be conceivably be put in a sandwich.

All man's life among men is nothing more than a battle for the ears of others. But to talk to yourself when alone is folly, it must be doubly unwise to listen to one's self in the presence of others.

The politician is trained in the art of inexactitude. Their words tend to be blunt or rounded because if they have a cutting edge they may later return to wound them..

Of president Don the frump. To watch him fumbling with our rich and delicate language is like seeing a Se'vres vase in the hands of a Chimpanzee.

In the early years of the past century and up to the seventies  Men involved with moving house during the weekends of the warm summer months and .who owned wire sprung beds, were often foolish enough to sit on them in their Underwear prior to the mattress was laid. Fire and rescue crews treated hundreds of such cases.
Single dwellers in isolated areas without access to a phone or neighbours to hear him yelling were the most at risk. One poor soul was trapped for two days by his genitals.only the postman delivering the mail on Tuesday saved the poor guy. from death before desexing.; and becoming a Clam.

And finally. A Diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Vest. Daily Gaggle.


Friday, 28 September 2018

Belated Words

This is not the original story intended for words this week, the previous Yarn was derailed by Google’s saving option which failed. I tried all of the recovery options to no avail.
I am not bent on becoming stoned or wallow in self-pity, I am simply not going to give up, I shall bridle my resources and endeavour to write something worthwhile.
It has recently come to my notice that my five sons are not united in their love for one another, the dislike for the incorrigible No 5 son is common, plus 2 and 4 don’t see eye to eye but whatever their differences it is of no concern to me.
Personally, I  never try to change people’s opinion of myself, if they like me -they like me if they don’t well they don’t. If you have enemies? Good, it means you have stood up for something sometime in your life. And if people don’t like you that is their problem., not yours. Maybe their sports team lost the night before or they are having a bad day, maybe you remind them of the kid who pushed them around at school. Don’t waste your time on those who do not like you, and put that energy to those who do.
The exciting part of the aging process is the bit where you start to care less about what people think about you. Alternatively, if everyone doesn’t like you, perhaps you should consider adopting a Dog, who will love you unconditionally.
We need words to keep us human. Being Human is an accomplishment like playing the Piano, it takes practice.

Vest daily Gaggle... Back soon.

Thursday, 27 September 2018

Saturday, 22 September 2018

A few more jaw droppers.

         Not for the squeamish, I hope you will remember that!!.
                                              ----------

 The words  Proctalgia, Proctalgia, Pygnalgia and Rectalgia, all mean 'Pain in the Backside'.

Before dentists chairs were invented, the patients head was clenched between the surgeon's Knees.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. And the first Guillotine was built by a harpsichord maker.

80% of plane crashes occur in the first three or last eight minutes of a flight.

Spiders can survive underwater by entering a self-induced coma.

Spiders in Great Britain outnumber people by more than 500 to one. If all the spiders were Brazilian wandering spiders the population would be ten times more.

A Brazillian Work foreman applied to his company for housing entitlement being he had recently married. In his letter, he wrote Dear Boss I am now Married and require a permanent erection.
His Boss replied, 'Go take a walk in the Jungle and stop putting the Bite on our struggling company.

A bite from a Brazilian wandering spider results in an erection that lasts for several hours. This particular spider is often referred to as the Honeymoon spider.

The last speaker of the Amazonian language was a parrot.

Edgar Allen Poe's poem "The Raven" was originally going to be about a talking parrot, seemingly bitten by a Brazilian  Wandering Spider. The poem was considered to be too explicit for publication.

Question. 'What do most convicted rapists in Brazil use as an excuse for their crime.?

The study of words is not the right thing for a person without a memory.

Linguistic analysis means a lot of people pointing out that we don't always mean what we say, even when we say what we mean.

Vest. More soon.

Thursday, 20 September 2018

No Wednesday Words this week.

     Most of my blogging time has been devoured by the weekly shopping expedition, doctors appointments - work around the house and family business. and nodding off with exhaustion during the day.
 I went to bed last night at 1145 PM, and I was up again at 6 45AM about an hour ago as I write. Not having slept a wink all night.  Both moggies and I have had breakfast and shortly I shall shower and then prepare Dinner, There on I shall probably nod off for a while and hopefully feel tired at the proper time tonight. At this point in time, I am not thinking too clearly.

Back soon Vest.

Sunday, 16 September 2018

Sunday.Jaw droppers with a fishy ending..

The oldest animal ever found was a 405-year-old Icelandic clam. It was killed by researchers trying to work out its age. But by then it was assumed to be female As it was perceived to be much older each day at 3 30PM. But it was still called 'Tim'.

The word ' journey' is from the French journe'e, and once meant the distance one could walk in one day.

The Swahili for the journey; is Safari.

The Barramundi is an Australian fish praised for its exquisite taste, but tasteless compared to that of Nth Atlantic Cod.

The nectar of citrus plants contains caffeine to attract bees.

King Henry VIII, put a tax on beards in 1535 but made sure his own was exempt.

King David 1, in Scotland. gave tax rebates to subjects with good table manners.

Lalochezia is Using swearing to relieve the stress of pain.

King John of England was named 'Soft sword' for his feeble Military and boudoir activities.

William the Conqueror the Duke of Normandy had been in England a fortnight before the Battle of Hastings in 1066. Similar to the Three old ladies locked in the Lavatory; 'Nobody knew he was there'.

During the Hundred years war, the French called the English 'Godons' because they were always shouting 'Godam'.

And Finally.

Two retired Australian aboriginal gentlemen were preparing for their journey home to the 'black Stump camp some ten Miles from the coast. They had hung their socks on the end of their spears close to the fish they had caught that day in order to deter the marauding flies.

On arrival to their humble homestead, they were greeted by a White man who seemed anxious to explain the wonderful workings of the small cart with a wheel which was able to carry several spear loads of fish in comfort and save a lot of human energy.

After a trial with the wheelbarrow, one of the Aborigine men announced, " we will take the Barramundi on our next fishing trip.

That's all folk, More soon.. Vest Daily Gaggle.

Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Words for Wednesday.

The words proposed by Delores are

Left. Batchelor. Dripping. Movies. Doorway. Mansion.

   Wayward Batchelor Earl Snodgrass, waited in the shelter of the stable. Although Dripping wet from the rain,  he knew this would be the best opportunity to access the interior of the Mansion.

The current owner a card shark had recently sold the Mansion; the former property of Snoddy lost in a poker game. for cash to a local drug lord, who with friends were attending a new movie in town and dinner laid on by the real estate agent- another crook.

Snoddy did not wait long before the revellers returned. a dozen or so rushed from their cars through the rain to the doorway opened by the butler, Snoddy seizing his chance dressed in a hoody joined the guests then after entering hid in a secret hiding place known only to himself.

Snoddy had the new keys to the safe containing Two Million Dollars in cash. The keys were provided by the locksmith's daughter who had earlier copied them and was waiting to pick up Snoddy during the silent hours and speed to the airport and a flight to Costa Rica The Rich Coast in South America. Good luck Snoddy.

Vest Daily Gaggle. back soon.

Jaw droppers. on wednesday

                                          Have a giggle at these.

Second Street is the most common street name in the USA. First Street is the third most common.

Most Clams begin life as Males, but half of them turn female when older (Tim you are a Clam!.)

The green zone golf club is on the border of Finland and Sweden: half of the holes are in one country and a half in the other.

The first woman to play golf was Mary Queen of Scotts.

Bruce Lee, was Hong Kong's Cha-Cha dance champion.

Women look their oldest at3,30 pm on Wednesday. I am lost for words. (Again).

George W Bush was a college cheerleader (Possibly a clam).

The oldest dance still performed is the Austrian shoe - slapping dance.

Nudiustertian means'relating to the day before yesterday.


Vest... Daily Gaggle.


Thursday, 6 September 2018

Words on Wednesday Discovered on Thursday.

 Words this week are supplied by Delores at; Mumblings

Hitch, Quack, Curtains, Deplorable.Mundane, Ravelled.
My unhappy story Goe's.---

     During my later years, visits to my local Quack IE Doctor at my local hospital have become quite Mundane, most visits go along without a Hitch-even when having to display one's essentials when stripped.
However, a recent visit to the hospital left me Un- Ravelled when two young trainee nurses entered the room- which I found Deplorable, although the procedure they were witnessing was behind closed curtains, the doctor explained it was part of the nurses training.  nevertheless I myself found it to be totally embarrassing.

 I must admit what happens under anesthetic one is rarely aware of, but in broad daylight, it is a different matter.
Vest... Daily Gaggle.

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

Words undiscovered this week.

 I failed to find words this week so I have substituted some factual nonsense instead.
                                                   ---------------------
 One in 7 UK used banknotes carry traces of anal bacteria, In Zimbabwe, Most banknotes are used as cheap toilet paper.

 Winnie Pooh's real name is  Edward Bear.

It is illegal in China to show TV  Ads for haemorrhoid cream during mealtimes.

 The offspring of a Polar bear and a Grizzly bear is called Pizzlybear.

Jrr Tolkien and Adolf Hitler, both fought in the battle of the Somme during WW1.

During Adolf Hitlers years in power, his book Mein Kampf was given freely to all newlyweds

'Dogging in German means, Jogging with your dog and other activities.
'
The Asian firm of Samsung's first product was fish

More than half of the fish marketed as Tuna in the USA, Is not Tuna
                                             ------------
My last couple of weeks has been swallowed up with medical, social. family and  other unexpected activities.
Back soon, Vest.

GONE GONE GONE

Ninety minutes work Simply disappeared from my blog prior to posting. gone forever.  I am totaly*^!@^_^*# off. vest