Of course it is easy for the likes of myself to blather on about staying at home taking it easy.
Being a person with many options; mostly whether I do it or not, all depending on my state of mind at that particular time, a person in the workforce does not have this luxury and in most case's pulls a sickie if he hasn't already used them up to watch sporting activities. However this is mainly for those workaholics and sadly in some cases people totally dependent on being there or being fired.
THE CASE
We are currently being bombarded with television adverts encouraging us to take Codral Cold Tablets so that we can continue to go to work despite suffering from coughs, colds and even influenza. The implication is that by "soldiering on" you are being brave and conquering adversity, and that Codral Cold Tablets will help you win the war. In fact, you are being stupid and anti-social. As I have written before,
"there is no evidence based research indicating that over the counter cough and cold treatments have any effect on shortening the duration of illness" they merely alleviate symptoms.
Soldiering on is very bad advice on two counts. Firstly, the symptomatic relief does nothing for the course of the viral disease, it merely allows the afflicted person to hide the illness, to function more or less normally and to infect as many healthy people as possible. Secondly, by "soldiering on" when they should really be at home looking after themselves, afflicted persons are risking secondary bacterial infections such as bronchitis, middle ear infection and even pneumonia.
If you get a cold, stay at home and be kind to yourself, loaf around, get a lot of of sleep and drink plenty of fluids (non-alcoholic), and lay off the sex. You are not doing anyone any favours by going to work, you won't be very productive and will probably infect a lot of people while you are at it. Remember that colds are spread by droplet infection emitted by coughing and sneezing, so cover your mouth and nose and definitely do not spit in public. Infection can also be spread by touch so don't use the same phone as someone who has a cold, and everyone should wash their hands a lot, especially if they use shared keyboards. If you go to your doctor, don't expect a script for antibiotics. Antibiotics are ineffective against viral illnesses, although our doctor has not learned of this scientific theory and has prescribed Amoxin a antibiotic for nearest and dearest who has symptoms as previously stated.
If you are a manager, do everyone a favour and send infected staff home, and don't expect ill people to come to work, and don't play the martyr and come in yourself if you are sick. Provide paper towels and encourage frequent hand-washing.
As I wrote above, cold and flu tablets, including Codral, do nothing to shorten the course of the disease as they only provide symptomatic relief. Because these cold treatments reduce the apparent symptoms the temptation is to behave normally. If you have a light head-cold with just a runny nose or watering eyes you probably will not do yourself any harm, but you will still pass it on to everyone else. However if you have generalised symptoms such as muscle aches, chills or chest infection you really should rest. Many studies have shown that physical stress delays healing, in other words your cold or flu will hang around longer, especially if you play sport or go to the gym. And remember lay off the sex and sleep solo.
MY VERDICT
Don't soldier on with Codral. It is unfair to yourself and to all your contacts.
BTW. Guess who has a stinker of a head cold, and guess who gave it to me. Vest.
Monday, 29 June 2009
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Death Trap Vehicles, Buy Yours 'Now' and become a road death statistic.'
Bargain priced 'No Frills' cars and utes(pickups) Guaranteed to spend more time being repaired than being of practical use to the owner are now on sale in NSW OZ.
Now you would expect these soon to be rust buckets to be significantly cheaper when compared to the trustworthy history of other models that Tradesmen and ute lovers have become accustomed to, well they 'ain't mate', they are just a nibbling bit off the the regular mob prices but that's where it ends and your maintenance cost on these piss poor Chinese chariots become more expensive to support than Paris Hilton with six kids.
A duo of these utes are now in Oz, both of these inferior vehicles are lacking some of the most basic safety features which are mandatory in other vehicles made or allowed into Australia. It is a pity I'm forbidden to use the 'F' word to describe the pair of 'Great Wall' named utes of differing power packages. However, a tradesman hitting a wall in ether of these monstrosities will more than likely leave his family destitute. "You see Mr Bert Westy; Licenced plumber and gas fitter, these pretty and cheap oriental death buggies ain't got any Anti locking brakes or any Air Bags". "And to add to your dilemma when, or if you are silly and spend your hard earned you may like to know beforehand that, neither of these darlings have ever been crash tested for an ANCAP safety rating". Now you may think I am going overboard on this matter but the truth is I am not. Chinese goods have a long standing tradition of being sub standard - unreliable with a dodgy life expectancy,they are like good mates until your money runs out. Many of us have experienced the failure of Chinese hand tools such as Screwdrivers which bend in the screw slot and the same goes for spanners(wrenches) too. My most reliable tools are more than half my age and have Broad Arrows on them - tools which retired from the Brit Navy with yours truly, made in England.
This Saga can be likened to the arrival of that heap of shite the Russian built 'Lada Samara' which sneaked into Oz about fifteen years back, I shall spare you the details of that Volga little horror, whch no self respecting crooked car dealer would take as a used 'trade in'.
So any nutter out there owning one of these Dim Sims on Wheels should be given a compulsary IQ test before taking it on the road, and 'let us all pray' to the Ghost of The Great Henry Ford for the demise of these delightful little motorcars.
Now is the time for a few derogatory slogans to appear, such as: 'Great walls hit the wall faster.
Drive safely, Vest
Now you would expect these soon to be rust buckets to be significantly cheaper when compared to the trustworthy history of other models that Tradesmen and ute lovers have become accustomed to, well they 'ain't mate', they are just a nibbling bit off the the regular mob prices but that's where it ends and your maintenance cost on these piss poor Chinese chariots become more expensive to support than Paris Hilton with six kids.
A duo of these utes are now in Oz, both of these inferior vehicles are lacking some of the most basic safety features which are mandatory in other vehicles made or allowed into Australia. It is a pity I'm forbidden to use the 'F' word to describe the pair of 'Great Wall' named utes of differing power packages. However, a tradesman hitting a wall in ether of these monstrosities will more than likely leave his family destitute. "You see Mr Bert Westy; Licenced plumber and gas fitter, these pretty and cheap oriental death buggies ain't got any Anti locking brakes or any Air Bags". "And to add to your dilemma when, or if you are silly and spend your hard earned you may like to know beforehand that, neither of these darlings have ever been crash tested for an ANCAP safety rating". Now you may think I am going overboard on this matter but the truth is I am not. Chinese goods have a long standing tradition of being sub standard - unreliable with a dodgy life expectancy,they are like good mates until your money runs out. Many of us have experienced the failure of Chinese hand tools such as Screwdrivers which bend in the screw slot and the same goes for spanners(wrenches) too. My most reliable tools are more than half my age and have Broad Arrows on them - tools which retired from the Brit Navy with yours truly, made in England.
This Saga can be likened to the arrival of that heap of shite the Russian built 'Lada Samara' which sneaked into Oz about fifteen years back, I shall spare you the details of that Volga little horror, whch no self respecting crooked car dealer would take as a used 'trade in'.
So any nutter out there owning one of these Dim Sims on Wheels should be given a compulsary IQ test before taking it on the road, and 'let us all pray' to the Ghost of The Great Henry Ford for the demise of these delightful little motorcars.
Now is the time for a few derogatory slogans to appear, such as: 'Great walls hit the wall faster.
Drive safely, Vest
Saturday, 27 June 2009
By Request. A Andrew B versus Vest Re-run of a March 14 - 2009 Post.
March 2009
Andrew B .The Perfection Fascist.
Andrew B, I have known for close up to thirty years from his age of approx 40.
Andrew reminds me of Rowan Atkinson a bit; plus a super nerd with an answer to the worlds problems at his finger tips, at times he can be flippant and angry at what most people would regard as sufficient information to make a point during discourse. Physically non violent, Andrew will remain my friend regardless of his recent outbursts.
Andrew's most recent outburst in an Email received today follows that of his rebuke regarding a recent post in which I posted a 'Joke Poem' , submitted by my bean counting friend Graeme, in the post titled. WRIGLEYS CHEWING GUM 9 March 09, in which Andrew submitted the following stupid corrections.
Vest said...
Andrew: my right to reply, without further remarks, regarding your audacity to infer that my English is imperfect. It is something I am already aware of.
The following Email was sent to me by a friend Andrew B. Who Say's--
I had to edit your item as there are defects in the English.added the word 'me' between fetch -and- another----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Who said Australians weren't romantic?.When a sentence ends with a question mark, there is no need for a (period mark) . to followAs the ? already represents that and the . is included in the ? toindicate the end of a sentence.It means that when Im ready, there's somethin there to grabIt means that when I'm ready, there's somethin' there to grab(apostrophe missing that denotes a missing letter)Somehow it was correct on the second line(Of course I love ya darlin'. You're a bloody top-notch bird.)I think its very sexy that you've got dimples on ya thighs.you've (is an abbreviation, (and a bad one at that) - of - you have.so placing 'got' after it becomes redundant.As it already means 'you have dimples on your thighs"....besides, got in fact the word 'get' means to obtain something by toil.So it does not belong in the sentence on two countsI swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met,Red marked. what is this me nonsense? Written by a 12 year old no doubt.No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear, now shut up while the footy's on and fetch another beer..Changed to : No matter what you look like; I'll always love ya' dear,Writing just a letter u is a sure sign of illiteracy. (or mental laziness at best)... In the faint hope that the writers English will improve.In a bid to stamp out illiteracy.It seems that many adults have caught this disease.ims@unwired.com.au.................
Vest Say's. " Andrew, go and get well and truly stuffed dicko, only an arsehole of your calibre would fail to recognize it was a copied message sent to me by none other than 'Graeme' who is an accountant and a regular contributor to the comments section". Andrew, if you are unsure how to use the comments section, ask and I will instruct you".Have a thoughtful day, your dear fiend - sorry er - friend ,J L S, aka L J B or Vest.There is only one success - to be able to live your life in your own way and not to give others absurd, maddening claims upon it.
Tuesday, 10 March 2009 08:06:00 AM EST
Today, 14 March 2009.I received the following from Andrew.
DELETE : Ressurect (Your teacher has marked your post as 7/10 due to spelling error.INSERT ResurrectSuggest you write it in Microsoft Word and do a spell check first, or request a spelling checker that will check manyvaried documents. You can possibly find one if by searching on Google. (Maybe the dictionary should be resurrected from the trash can)Also This brazen cockup, engineered by our recently Anointed Labour (Red, or Democrat)PM, relative of Robinfrigging HCheers! [Postscript] Try Labor It is clearly written on all promotional material, press and the party website.... You should not be making such stupid mistakes. You have been in Australia long enough to know better.NOW READ ON AND OPEN YOUR EYES..... (IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS)Note: If the citizens are not armed, what will they fight with if there is (and possibly will be in the near future) a civil war? Sticks? And forget about Martin Bryant, Do the research, read the court and evidence transcripts, and you will discover that he was set up, in order to convince the public to disarm. His future and rights are considered a small price to pay. ( A few dead? - just a small drop in the ocean of humanity) the proletariat needs to be kept powerless, the ruling elite have a need to maintain total power and control - no matter what - Give up your civil rights to be protected? (Rather like the fox telling the chicken that he will protect it) Open your eyes to what is really happening. The US Government is already preparing for a possible civil war occurring. Having pulled the teeth out of every regulatory agency they could locate, the US treasury has been looted by Bush & Co. And for their final coup de grace they bailed out [with public money] the very banks that were culpable for the large part of the financial debacle in the first place. The only thing they are not doing is flying the 'Jolly Roger' from their mast, although they have well and truly Jolly Rogered the world. Didn't see it coming? Come on..... I saw it. And here's the real clincher. Now the financial elite/Zionists/American Imperialists have installed their latest sock-puppet - Obama - to clean up the mess. He can't, so to knee-cap the inevitable revolt, he has Martial Laws at his disposal. And the black folk who are known to start revolts. Nobody can subdue the blacks like Obama can --- Crowd control it's as simple as that.... The ruling establishment has to maintain power and control despite the major Fuck-up they have caused over the past 8 years. Half the population are already pissed-off - they no longer trust the Government in general. A scheme has to be set up to keep everyone ignorant, because the system is falling apart at the seams. The youth are the first ones to protest, and the blacks have a history or rioting. Obama can (at least for now) pacify them. When new powers are passed, the people disarmed, and unable to fight Total control that Hitler would be proud of. Lets say you are one of the puppeteers who run the big show from behind the scenes , If you were one of the deeply embedded in the Military Industrial Complex, the Central Banking System, The Big 5 Media, etc. Yo know the people that steer and even rig the elections, The Disaster Capitalists whose portfolios are set to make profits of any and nearly all disasters. People who seek global domination, and use the United States as a machine to make that a reality. Bush's crimes will be buried forever - Continued perpetual war to create income/wealth for the industrial-military empire. Expansion of taxes to create a global tax to pay for the war on terror (which they themselves created) Build a new missile defense shield. and create a new 'cold war' - Expand copyright laws - (and jail the offenders, and confiscate their property) - Expand FBI powers not only in the USA but to other partner countries. Already, any country that has signed up to the FTA (Free Trade Agreement, is subject to the US Patriot Act. (Which supersedes, local laws) THe FBI have installed their own Office in those countries (Including Australia) This is said to be for the reason to protect US corporate Interests Obama does not speak out about the use of DU munitions issue, and use by the US in foreign countries. DU (Depleted Uranium) for your information has a half life of 4 billion ( 4 million x 1000) years. And caused birth defects and various cancers in those subjected to it) He is dodging the fact that the commission that investigated 9/11 which concluded that 9/11 was a total farce. To admit to the people that, would be political suicide. Obama is a member of the S&B (Skull and Bones) of which there are 900 members. (Bush's administration contained 11 of them) (Not to mention Bush's dad and brother Jeb. Zionist extremists commit equally evil crimes/atrocities like Muslim extremists. (calling for genocide against their enemy) (Same as Nazi's) The USA has become an imperialistic dictatorship. Any country that disapproves will be invaded and beaten to a pulp, and assets removed. Spreading fear about global warming will create new industries and more wealth to the ruling elites. The Carbon Trading Casino will be used to let the poor working bastards to be forced to play and pay, Like the Forex market, Bear Market, Commodities market etc. etc.... My recommendation to all the financial elites, banksters, zionists and stockbrokers working in high-rise buildings JUMP! YOU FUCKERS IMS
Vest Say's poor Andrew. Please get well soon, and remember to be pleasant to your elders. I have also given your medical prognosis to my Chinese doctor who became alarmed on hearing of your malady, he will contact you soon.
BTW, you did not spell check your most recent tirade. Have a thoughtful day. Vest.
PS, don't use the 'F' word on my blog.
Bloggers who comment. "How many incorrect spelling and punctuation mistakes did Andrew score in his statement regarding the state of the union"? I counted 29.
posted by Vest @ 3/14/2009 10:48:00 AM 17 comments links to this post
14 March 2009.
................ .
This is what the fuss was all about.
WRIGLEY'S CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole bread?' The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.' The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia.' The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Australian replied, 'of course.' Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia . The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?' The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?' 'We throw them away, of course!' Now it was the Australians turn to smile. 'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'
Who said Australians weren't romantic?.
Of course I love ya darlin. You're a bloody top-notch bird.
And when I say you're gorgeous. I mean every single word.
So ya bum is on the big side. I don't mind a bit of flab.
It means that when I'm ready, there's somethin there to grab.
So your belly isn't flat no more; I tell ya, I don't care.
So long as when I cuddle ya I can get my arms round there.
No sheila who is your age has nice round perky breasts.
They just gave in to gravity but I know ya did ya best.
I'm tellin' ya the truth now, I never tell ya lies.
I think its very sexy that you've got dimples on ya thighs.
I swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met, I thought you was as good as I was ever gonna get.
No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear, now shut up while the footy's on and fetch another beer..
Vest sez im shor youse dun fink mese rite lyk dat.
Andrew B .The Perfection Fascist.
Andrew B, I have known for close up to thirty years from his age of approx 40.
Andrew reminds me of Rowan Atkinson a bit; plus a super nerd with an answer to the worlds problems at his finger tips, at times he can be flippant and angry at what most people would regard as sufficient information to make a point during discourse. Physically non violent, Andrew will remain my friend regardless of his recent outbursts.
Andrew's most recent outburst in an Email received today follows that of his rebuke regarding a recent post in which I posted a 'Joke Poem' , submitted by my bean counting friend Graeme, in the post titled. WRIGLEYS CHEWING GUM 9 March 09, in which Andrew submitted the following stupid corrections.
Vest said...
Andrew: my right to reply, without further remarks, regarding your audacity to infer that my English is imperfect. It is something I am already aware of.
The following Email was sent to me by a friend Andrew B. Who Say's--
I had to edit your item as there are defects in the English.added the word 'me' between fetch -and- another----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Who said Australians weren't romantic?.When a sentence ends with a question mark, there is no need for a (period mark) . to followAs the ? already represents that and the . is included in the ? toindicate the end of a sentence.It means that when Im ready, there's somethin there to grabIt means that when I'm ready, there's somethin' there to grab(apostrophe missing that denotes a missing letter)Somehow it was correct on the second line(Of course I love ya darlin'. You're a bloody top-notch bird.)I think its very sexy that you've got dimples on ya thighs.you've (is an abbreviation, (and a bad one at that) - of - you have.so placing 'got' after it becomes redundant.As it already means 'you have dimples on your thighs"....besides, got in fact the word 'get' means to obtain something by toil.So it does not belong in the sentence on two countsI swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met,Red marked. what is this me nonsense? Written by a 12 year old no doubt.No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear, now shut up while the footy's on and fetch another beer..Changed to : No matter what you look like; I'll always love ya' dear,Writing just a letter u is a sure sign of illiteracy. (or mental laziness at best)... In the faint hope that the writers English will improve.In a bid to stamp out illiteracy.It seems that many adults have caught this disease.ims@unwired.com.au.................
Vest Say's. " Andrew, go and get well and truly stuffed dicko, only an arsehole of your calibre would fail to recognize it was a copied message sent to me by none other than 'Graeme' who is an accountant and a regular contributor to the comments section". Andrew, if you are unsure how to use the comments section, ask and I will instruct you".Have a thoughtful day, your dear fiend - sorry er - friend ,J L S, aka L J B or Vest.There is only one success - to be able to live your life in your own way and not to give others absurd, maddening claims upon it.
Tuesday, 10 March 2009 08:06:00 AM EST
Today, 14 March 2009.I received the following from Andrew.
DELETE : Ressurect (Your teacher has marked your post as 7/10 due to spelling error.INSERT ResurrectSuggest you write it in Microsoft Word and do a spell check first, or request a spelling checker that will check manyvaried documents. You can possibly find one if by searching on Google. (Maybe the dictionary should be resurrected from the trash can)Also This brazen cockup, engineered by our recently Anointed Labour (Red, or Democrat)PM, relative of Robinfrigging HCheers! [Postscript] Try Labor It is clearly written on all promotional material, press and the party website.... You should not be making such stupid mistakes. You have been in Australia long enough to know better.NOW READ ON AND OPEN YOUR EYES..... (IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS)Note: If the citizens are not armed, what will they fight with if there is (and possibly will be in the near future) a civil war? Sticks? And forget about Martin Bryant, Do the research, read the court and evidence transcripts, and you will discover that he was set up, in order to convince the public to disarm. His future and rights are considered a small price to pay. ( A few dead? - just a small drop in the ocean of humanity) the proletariat needs to be kept powerless, the ruling elite have a need to maintain total power and control - no matter what - Give up your civil rights to be protected? (Rather like the fox telling the chicken that he will protect it) Open your eyes to what is really happening. The US Government is already preparing for a possible civil war occurring. Having pulled the teeth out of every regulatory agency they could locate, the US treasury has been looted by Bush & Co. And for their final coup de grace they bailed out [with public money] the very banks that were culpable for the large part of the financial debacle in the first place. The only thing they are not doing is flying the 'Jolly Roger' from their mast, although they have well and truly Jolly Rogered the world. Didn't see it coming? Come on..... I saw it. And here's the real clincher. Now the financial elite/Zionists/American Imperialists have installed their latest sock-puppet - Obama - to clean up the mess. He can't, so to knee-cap the inevitable revolt, he has Martial Laws at his disposal. And the black folk who are known to start revolts. Nobody can subdue the blacks like Obama can --- Crowd control it's as simple as that.... The ruling establishment has to maintain power and control despite the major Fuck-up they have caused over the past 8 years. Half the population are already pissed-off - they no longer trust the Government in general. A scheme has to be set up to keep everyone ignorant, because the system is falling apart at the seams. The youth are the first ones to protest, and the blacks have a history or rioting. Obama can (at least for now) pacify them. When new powers are passed, the people disarmed, and unable to fight Total control that Hitler would be proud of. Lets say you are one of the puppeteers who run the big show from behind the scenes , If you were one of the deeply embedded in the Military Industrial Complex, the Central Banking System, The Big 5 Media, etc. Yo know the people that steer and even rig the elections, The Disaster Capitalists whose portfolios are set to make profits of any and nearly all disasters. People who seek global domination, and use the United States as a machine to make that a reality. Bush's crimes will be buried forever - Continued perpetual war to create income/wealth for the industrial-military empire. Expansion of taxes to create a global tax to pay for the war on terror (which they themselves created) Build a new missile defense shield. and create a new 'cold war' - Expand copyright laws - (and jail the offenders, and confiscate their property) - Expand FBI powers not only in the USA but to other partner countries. Already, any country that has signed up to the FTA (Free Trade Agreement, is subject to the US Patriot Act. (Which supersedes, local laws) THe FBI have installed their own Office in those countries (Including Australia) This is said to be for the reason to protect US corporate Interests Obama does not speak out about the use of DU munitions issue, and use by the US in foreign countries. DU (Depleted Uranium) for your information has a half life of 4 billion ( 4 million x 1000) years. And caused birth defects and various cancers in those subjected to it) He is dodging the fact that the commission that investigated 9/11 which concluded that 9/11 was a total farce. To admit to the people that, would be political suicide. Obama is a member of the S&B (Skull and Bones) of which there are 900 members. (Bush's administration contained 11 of them) (Not to mention Bush's dad and brother Jeb. Zionist extremists commit equally evil crimes/atrocities like Muslim extremists. (calling for genocide against their enemy) (Same as Nazi's) The USA has become an imperialistic dictatorship. Any country that disapproves will be invaded and beaten to a pulp, and assets removed. Spreading fear about global warming will create new industries and more wealth to the ruling elites. The Carbon Trading Casino will be used to let the poor working bastards to be forced to play and pay, Like the Forex market, Bear Market, Commodities market etc. etc.... My recommendation to all the financial elites, banksters, zionists and stockbrokers working in high-rise buildings JUMP! YOU FUCKERS IMS
Vest Say's poor Andrew. Please get well soon, and remember to be pleasant to your elders. I have also given your medical prognosis to my Chinese doctor who became alarmed on hearing of your malady, he will contact you soon.
BTW, you did not spell check your most recent tirade. Have a thoughtful day. Vest.
PS, don't use the 'F' word on my blog.
Bloggers who comment. "How many incorrect spelling and punctuation mistakes did Andrew score in his statement regarding the state of the union"? I counted 29.
posted by Vest @ 3/14/2009 10:48:00 AM 17 comments links to this post
14 March 2009.
................ .
This is what the fuss was all about.
WRIGLEY'S CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole bread?' The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.' The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia.' The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Australian replied, 'of course.' Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia . The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?' The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?' 'We throw them away, of course!' Now it was the Australians turn to smile. 'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'
Who said Australians weren't romantic?.
Of course I love ya darlin. You're a bloody top-notch bird.
And when I say you're gorgeous. I mean every single word.
So ya bum is on the big side. I don't mind a bit of flab.
It means that when I'm ready, there's somethin there to grab.
So your belly isn't flat no more; I tell ya, I don't care.
So long as when I cuddle ya I can get my arms round there.
No sheila who is your age has nice round perky breasts.
They just gave in to gravity but I know ya did ya best.
I'm tellin' ya the truth now, I never tell ya lies.
I think its very sexy that you've got dimples on ya thighs.
I swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met, I thought you was as good as I was ever gonna get.
No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear, now shut up while the footy's on and fetch another beer..
Vest sez im shor youse dun fink mese rite lyk dat.
Friday, 26 June 2009
Message for Andrew B ims.
Andrew B ims. I have spared you the indignity of exposure by not posting your vitriolic email contents worldwide although you will be aware by now a selected number of associates do have the full contents.
Remember, True friendship is unconditional, at least it is with me.
Andrew: May the almighty, grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a thoughtful day, Vest.
Remember, True friendship is unconditional, at least it is with me.
Andrew: May the almighty, grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a thoughtful day, Vest.
Saturday, 20 June 2009
This applies to skinny chicks and porky ladies. Also Brussels Sprouts.
And I suppose blokes too might give it some thought.
Forget busty Pamela Anderson and scrawny Stick insect Paris Hilton Most blokes would prefer a Miss Average. The size 12 to 14 figure being the most sought after by men The most attractive woman is aged between 25 and 44, about 165cm or 5ft 6ins tall, with 40 inch hips and 30 inch waist, so skinnies beware of being the ugliest of all unless you come into the jumbo size bracket and wearing size 30 red flannel bloomers with galvanized gussets. Mind you it does help enormously if you dress to suit your body details. A while back a cocky young wench told me she had made the dress she was wearing, I told "I can see you have you must be very poor".
Then again this study on obesity I have been reading indicated that chubby people with a few love handles may help a person live longer and the bad news is; thinner people have the shortest life expectancy.
So professional Rolex clad blokes and other bad sorts of all ages still believe the Charm of the Merc or Lexus is enough to win a feminine heart, In a minority of cases such as sheer desperation, poverty, or gold digging yes, however the vast majority of ladies have different thoughts on this matter.
Men save your money, you don't need a car if you are a good looking Adonis your looks will divert the attention of that fair of face, delicious full bodied hour glass figure (12-14)away from cars whilst her red corpuscles are running hot and screaming for your attention.
In the wash up the good looking under twenty five guy in his hotted up Holden Ute. would fare better in the selection stakes than Mister cravat wearing middle life crises in his classic MG Roadster. In fact the vehicle would be viewed more favourably if were empty.
Where better to store them?
Dunny Scribes and their viewers will remember the main slogan daubed on many a insanitary S^#*t house wall.
"No need to stand upon the seat, the crabs in here jump fifteen feet"
A Sydney fish market that stored Crabs in a toilet cubicle is among the NSW Govt's name and shame list. Jemes fish market in Liverpool rd Ashfield was hit with two fines of $660.
Can you imagine the carnage to ones nether regions should those two species have mutated.
Something from my favourite whipping post the Brit Royal Navy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sprouts off the menu on HMS Bulwark.
Reports coming in this morning indicate that, Captain Keble, RN, Commanding Officer of the assault ship HMS Bulwark has banned Brussels Sprouts from the ship's menu, believing them to be "the devil's vegetable". Now here is a selfish bastard if there ever was.
I would not agree with Captain Keble on this as I love sprouts but they must be cooked properly, just on the soft side of crisp, with scraps of cooked smoked bacon mixed in with them.
Modern day sailors are softie's compared to the WW2 sailors of the British Pacific fleet at sea for three months at a time with logistical support but living rough and feeding on dehydrated veggies,I am certain we would have welcomed Brussels Sprouts instead of the mystic miscellaneous ingredients of Sakashima pie with added weevils, served up at our action stations. Our only entertainment was the daily visits from the Japanese Air force Kamikaze acrobatic teams, Yes teams, never saw the same guys twice, they didn't have return tickets.( Commodore Bill Kelly, KGV Assoc U/K, how do you like your sprouts old mate)
Rosemary and I, (sounds like a forthcoming royal speech) Had a enjoyable evening at the Club where a 60's type band played music we were able to tolerate and move our legs to, yes we have still got it in the Hop dept, more so than some two left leg couples,. Mrs nice person as most would describe Rosemary-looked even more beautiful Its wonderful what diffused lighting and a couple of JWs can do. I have just had breakfast sitting at this computer, writing this twaddle. I must now move and get some exercise. See you later, have a happy day vest.
June 19, 2009 6:00 PM
Forget busty Pamela Anderson and scrawny Stick insect Paris Hilton Most blokes would prefer a Miss Average. The size 12 to 14 figure being the most sought after by men The most attractive woman is aged between 25 and 44, about 165cm or 5ft 6ins tall, with 40 inch hips and 30 inch waist, so skinnies beware of being the ugliest of all unless you come into the jumbo size bracket and wearing size 30 red flannel bloomers with galvanized gussets. Mind you it does help enormously if you dress to suit your body details. A while back a cocky young wench told me she had made the dress she was wearing, I told "I can see you have you must be very poor".
Then again this study on obesity I have been reading indicated that chubby people with a few love handles may help a person live longer and the bad news is; thinner people have the shortest life expectancy.
So professional Rolex clad blokes and other bad sorts of all ages still believe the Charm of the Merc or Lexus is enough to win a feminine heart, In a minority of cases such as sheer desperation, poverty, or gold digging yes, however the vast majority of ladies have different thoughts on this matter.
Men save your money, you don't need a car if you are a good looking Adonis your looks will divert the attention of that fair of face, delicious full bodied hour glass figure (12-14)away from cars whilst her red corpuscles are running hot and screaming for your attention.
In the wash up the good looking under twenty five guy in his hotted up Holden Ute. would fare better in the selection stakes than Mister cravat wearing middle life crises in his classic MG Roadster. In fact the vehicle would be viewed more favourably if were empty.
Where better to store them?
Dunny Scribes and their viewers will remember the main slogan daubed on many a insanitary S^#*t house wall.
"No need to stand upon the seat, the crabs in here jump fifteen feet"
A Sydney fish market that stored Crabs in a toilet cubicle is among the NSW Govt's name and shame list. Jemes fish market in Liverpool rd Ashfield was hit with two fines of $660.
Can you imagine the carnage to ones nether regions should those two species have mutated.
Something from my favourite whipping post the Brit Royal Navy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sprouts off the menu on HMS Bulwark.
Reports coming in this morning indicate that, Captain Keble, RN, Commanding Officer of the assault ship HMS Bulwark has banned Brussels Sprouts from the ship's menu, believing them to be "the devil's vegetable". Now here is a selfish bastard if there ever was.
I would not agree with Captain Keble on this as I love sprouts but they must be cooked properly, just on the soft side of crisp, with scraps of cooked smoked bacon mixed in with them.
Modern day sailors are softie's compared to the WW2 sailors of the British Pacific fleet at sea for three months at a time with logistical support but living rough and feeding on dehydrated veggies,I am certain we would have welcomed Brussels Sprouts instead of the mystic miscellaneous ingredients of Sakashima pie with added weevils, served up at our action stations. Our only entertainment was the daily visits from the Japanese Air force Kamikaze acrobatic teams, Yes teams, never saw the same guys twice, they didn't have return tickets.( Commodore Bill Kelly, KGV Assoc U/K, how do you like your sprouts old mate)
Rosemary and I, (sounds like a forthcoming royal speech) Had a enjoyable evening at the Club where a 60's type band played music we were able to tolerate and move our legs to, yes we have still got it in the Hop dept, more so than some two left leg couples,. Mrs nice person as most would describe Rosemary-looked even more beautiful Its wonderful what diffused lighting and a couple of JWs can do. I have just had breakfast sitting at this computer, writing this twaddle. I must now move and get some exercise. See you later, have a happy day vest.
June 19, 2009 6:00 PM
Friday, 19 June 2009
Brighter days ahead seem more likely.
The visit to the doc yesterday confirmed my hopes, the day started miserably cold and wet, on leaving the Docs office the sun was shining and even if it were not I too felt much better than I have done for a few worrisome days. Today went well too and the sun shone all day for our not too comfortable trip on the train to Sydney(mainly coming back with school kids). Stepping out into George Street from central station I started humming the ding dong song, jeeze it reminded me of lunch hour on the streets of Wanchai and Kowloon, however the main purpose of the day was to visit a particular govt department to discuss a query affecting the progress of a future project. The Govt Bloke I must truthfully say seemed to be the most polite helpful non pushy bureaucrat I have come across ( Rosemary thought he was most handsome)Also I suggested before the interview we must at no point of the conversation touch our noses**. in the wash up we emerged sorry-I emerged 250 bucks lighter in the wallet but happy for the positive result. Fed govt you have an employee worth his weight in gold-even though it was my gold that saved the day. So project pp E 31 commencing July 18 and finalising Aug 31 is in preparation. Due to security problems any suggestions as to its identity may be emailed but not posted R not posted as a comment. I am having an early night after this busy day. Our 56th tomorrow, seems I shall be on the go again. Back later, have a wonderful weekend. Vest.
**Body language-suggests fibbing.
**Body language-suggests fibbing.
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Now my winter of discontent, But hope springs eternal.
A Dreary start to the week was the West Indies beating England in the Twenty - 20. That Goof De loit who invented the reduced overs plan for teams batting last in the game of cricket in the event of rain reducing the game, needs a good shagging - particularly the Twenty 20 version when it becomes totally ridiculous when the same number of batters are available, even silly Jimmy with half a brain could work that one out. However the better team lost. Mind you, having an Aussie Umpire didn't help the cause, grumble-mumble-*#)@^#*^, ce n'est rien, sod it.
THE NSW Govt which controls a Quarter of The OZ population, is probably happy with the Nat/Aus Bank Muslim loan thingy(last post)And are now putting the bite on the yellow hordes of the North.
Billions of Bucks worth of Government designated goods and services will have to be Sourced from Real Dinky Di Aussie companies and a total ban on China Products is envisaged, thereby protecting Australian jobs. Main items will include Building contracts, Vehicles, uniforms, stationary and software. There is talk leaking from the halls of power that Indian call centres will shortly be given the chop.
Adding to this list in order to make local bids more competitive
a minimum of twenty per cent discount will be applied to Oz products when comparing with overseas bidders.
Kevin Rudd the Hand out king and PM of Oz will not be happy with this decision and his secret plan on strengthening ties with China may be stalled or go down the gurgler. Smart arsed Kevin's powers would be better put to good use by passing legislation to control greedy banks who are now gouging yet another interest hike., although personally this will help me more than those with mortgages and (Sharia Law Loans)
As I mentioned before it is a dreary day, cold damp and piddling down with rain, The temperature here is similar to that of England at this moment where the pundits predict Summer will be on a Thursday this year, and for reasons known only to a few close rello's (for the time being) I hope the calculations are out of kilter.
This Thursday coming will provide the litmus test for an envisaged project. The ten thirty AM visit to the heart doc the key, however I feel confident all will come good, nevertheless the major preps already underway will probably sway me from any thought of abandonment.
Having said that, Madame black belt shopper will hit the girly clobber outlets, prior to that a wallet refill will be necessary for our number 56 on Saturday, (Red Roses for Rosemary day). Last year I bought her a Lawn Mower, I expect I shall get a new dress and a handbag (No I'm not like that).
Cont.1052, After morning tea and a bikky a strange apparition appeared in the sky - it is called the Sun and it has ceased raining. Have a happy day, I'll be back later.
THE NSW Govt which controls a Quarter of The OZ population, is probably happy with the Nat/Aus Bank Muslim loan thingy(last post)And are now putting the bite on the yellow hordes of the North.
Billions of Bucks worth of Government designated goods and services will have to be Sourced from Real Dinky Di Aussie companies and a total ban on China Products is envisaged, thereby protecting Australian jobs. Main items will include Building contracts, Vehicles, uniforms, stationary and software. There is talk leaking from the halls of power that Indian call centres will shortly be given the chop.
Adding to this list in order to make local bids more competitive
a minimum of twenty per cent discount will be applied to Oz products when comparing with overseas bidders.
Kevin Rudd the Hand out king and PM of Oz will not be happy with this decision and his secret plan on strengthening ties with China may be stalled or go down the gurgler. Smart arsed Kevin's powers would be better put to good use by passing legislation to control greedy banks who are now gouging yet another interest hike., although personally this will help me more than those with mortgages and (Sharia Law Loans)
As I mentioned before it is a dreary day, cold damp and piddling down with rain, The temperature here is similar to that of England at this moment where the pundits predict Summer will be on a Thursday this year, and for reasons known only to a few close rello's (for the time being) I hope the calculations are out of kilter.
This Thursday coming will provide the litmus test for an envisaged project. The ten thirty AM visit to the heart doc the key, however I feel confident all will come good, nevertheless the major preps already underway will probably sway me from any thought of abandonment.
Having said that, Madame black belt shopper will hit the girly clobber outlets, prior to that a wallet refill will be necessary for our number 56 on Saturday, (Red Roses for Rosemary day). Last year I bought her a Lawn Mower, I expect I shall get a new dress and a handbag (No I'm not like that).
Cont.1052, After morning tea and a bikky a strange apparition appeared in the sky - it is called the Sun and it has ceased raining. Have a happy day, I'll be back later.
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Heavenly Loans Blessed By Allah
The National Australia Bank plans to tailor loans for Muslims
Islam-approved line of finance.
This is obviously a scam by the National Australia Bank to bypass archaic Sharia law which forbids money lending. The Federal Govt and all state Govts will go along with the idea seeing this will reduce Govt spending in the public housing sector.
However , in the small print- so as not to make it appear a hand out for Muslims only,there is a small mention that non Muslims will be afforded this privilege too.(Probably if you swear on the Koran)
Nat/Australia Bank is planning to introduce "Muslim-friendly" loans that do not charge interest, to comply with Sharia law. It will structure an Islam-approved line of finance to make money from alternative methods.
These include profit-sharing on the transaction, joint-ventures or leasing-type arrangements.
For example, to get round the Islamic ban on usury - or unfair lending - a Muslim mortgage often works by the bank buying the property, then selling it to the customer at a profit, with the customer then repaying the entire sum in instalments.
In this way the profit margin is built in from the start. It also has the advantage of making the loan immune from future interest rate rises.
NAB said the loans, which will start out small, will have to be cleared by a Sharia Advisory Board to ensure they meet strict criteria before they can be made available to the public.
They are dipping their toes in the water with this scheme thinking they may be able to offer this product in high-density Muslim areas,
I suspect there is a demand out there, but the usury sharks don't know how big it is, so a few trial stabs for custom will soon be promulgated.
For the trial's purposes NAB will pump a paltry $15 million from its not-for-profit finance division into the program, which will distribute the funds through various community finance schemes around the country.
The bank will monitor the take-up and assess potential demand. Are you kidding us? normally these things are usually sussed out by the banks similar to a bank hold up in reverse.
Interest-free loans of up to $1000 will be available to help finance household items, such as washing machines and fridges. This has been happening for years, do they think customers are bloody stupid, the jacking up of goods in order to hide the interest is not new.
The loans would also be available to non-Muslims. Ha Ha Ha.
The news comes just days after federal Assistant Treasurer Chris Bowen said that Australia could exploit international demand for Islamic finance to create more jobs. What a lot of bollocks.
Islam-approved line of finance.
This is obviously a scam by the National Australia Bank to bypass archaic Sharia law which forbids money lending. The Federal Govt and all state Govts will go along with the idea seeing this will reduce Govt spending in the public housing sector.
However , in the small print- so as not to make it appear a hand out for Muslims only,there is a small mention that non Muslims will be afforded this privilege too.(Probably if you swear on the Koran)
Nat/Australia Bank is planning to introduce "Muslim-friendly" loans that do not charge interest, to comply with Sharia law. It will structure an Islam-approved line of finance to make money from alternative methods.
These include profit-sharing on the transaction, joint-ventures or leasing-type arrangements.
For example, to get round the Islamic ban on usury - or unfair lending - a Muslim mortgage often works by the bank buying the property, then selling it to the customer at a profit, with the customer then repaying the entire sum in instalments.
In this way the profit margin is built in from the start. It also has the advantage of making the loan immune from future interest rate rises.
NAB said the loans, which will start out small, will have to be cleared by a Sharia Advisory Board to ensure they meet strict criteria before they can be made available to the public.
They are dipping their toes in the water with this scheme thinking they may be able to offer this product in high-density Muslim areas,
I suspect there is a demand out there, but the usury sharks don't know how big it is, so a few trial stabs for custom will soon be promulgated.
For the trial's purposes NAB will pump a paltry $15 million from its not-for-profit finance division into the program, which will distribute the funds through various community finance schemes around the country.
The bank will monitor the take-up and assess potential demand. Are you kidding us? normally these things are usually sussed out by the banks similar to a bank hold up in reverse.
Interest-free loans of up to $1000 will be available to help finance household items, such as washing machines and fridges. This has been happening for years, do they think customers are bloody stupid, the jacking up of goods in order to hide the interest is not new.
The loans would also be available to non-Muslims. Ha Ha Ha.
The news comes just days after federal Assistant Treasurer Chris Bowen said that Australia could exploit international demand for Islamic finance to create more jobs. What a lot of bollocks.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
More weekend reading
Here we have a solution for the mess that we are in economically now .
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table .. everywhere!
Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be .... quiet, serene.... and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.
Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than our flag are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop.
..............
(2) RULES OF MARRIAGE -
as described by children.
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10.
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10.
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10.
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8.
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8.
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure).
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10.
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7.
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7.
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8.
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child ).
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8.
And the #1 Favorite is ...........
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . -- Ricky , age 10.
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table .. everywhere!
Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be .... quiet, serene.... and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.
Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than our flag are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop.
..............
(2) RULES OF MARRIAGE -
as described by children.
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10.
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10.
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10.
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8.
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8.
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure).
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10.
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7.
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7.
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8.
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child ).
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8.
And the #1 Favorite is ...........
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . -- Ricky , age 10.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Rosemary.The Reformed Brat.
An Excerpt from 'Waving Goodbye To A Thousand Flies'.
When Rosemary's elder sister in England passed away, she left an old
diary that was shown to me by a relative. I recorded some amusing
segments.
It stated. I had made cakes in the oven and was enjoying the break from my baby sister, little Rosemary, who had already smashed her porcelain doll with a pair of pliers.
This is typical of her behaviour. She will probably grow up to be a psychopath. Rosemary is a destructive young child.
I had to leave her to go for a pee and found her teddy bear blocking the ‘S’bend in the toilet pan.
Mother and father will be very annoyed that I was unable to control her tantrums,and my right arm is very sore from the bite marks Rosemary has inflicted on me.
I am worried about the radio, as the acid from the accumulator burned into the oak table when Rosemary knocked it over, Rosemary pulled out all the wires from the radio, I put them all back, but somehow one of the valve things flashed and crackled and now all I can get is Radio Finland or something.
Fortunately, mother returned before father, I explained that Rosemary's rage was alarming me.
My mother has told me that all young children at that age are demonic, whatever that is, mother said it was in their nature and doctors can only prescribe sedatives for their tormented parents.
In a later journal entry, Rosemary's elder sister stated that she was on a weekend off from her wartime job during the earlier part of the war.
Little Rosemary was living with her uncle and aunt in the country due to the frequent bombing in Portsmouth, neither uncle nor aunt worked due to some fictitious medical complaint that had been brought about by the food rationing in Great Britain, both uncle and auntie both drank a lot of homemade wine and Hornimans tea and bought the daily newspapers for horse racing information to support their gambling habits, they also grew hard-to-get, out-of-season tomatoes in a heated green house.
Auntie said Rosemary was a messy eater and loved throwing her breakfast cornflakes onto the dining room walls.
Uncle would laugh at Rosemary's antics, auntie frequently broke wind when in company of others.
Looking at my beautiful wife Rosemary, I am astonished by her adolescent antics and see only the opposite behaviour most of the time.
No one is 100% perfect, but I will give Rosemary a 99% plus!
When Rosemary's elder sister in England passed away, she left an old
diary that was shown to me by a relative. I recorded some amusing
segments.
It stated. I had made cakes in the oven and was enjoying the break from my baby sister, little Rosemary, who had already smashed her porcelain doll with a pair of pliers.
This is typical of her behaviour. She will probably grow up to be a psychopath. Rosemary is a destructive young child.
I had to leave her to go for a pee and found her teddy bear blocking the ‘S’bend in the toilet pan.
Mother and father will be very annoyed that I was unable to control her tantrums,and my right arm is very sore from the bite marks Rosemary has inflicted on me.
I am worried about the radio, as the acid from the accumulator burned into the oak table when Rosemary knocked it over, Rosemary pulled out all the wires from the radio, I put them all back, but somehow one of the valve things flashed and crackled and now all I can get is Radio Finland or something.
Fortunately, mother returned before father, I explained that Rosemary's rage was alarming me.
My mother has told me that all young children at that age are demonic, whatever that is, mother said it was in their nature and doctors can only prescribe sedatives for their tormented parents.
In a later journal entry, Rosemary's elder sister stated that she was on a weekend off from her wartime job during the earlier part of the war.
Little Rosemary was living with her uncle and aunt in the country due to the frequent bombing in Portsmouth, neither uncle nor aunt worked due to some fictitious medical complaint that had been brought about by the food rationing in Great Britain, both uncle and auntie both drank a lot of homemade wine and Hornimans tea and bought the daily newspapers for horse racing information to support their gambling habits, they also grew hard-to-get, out-of-season tomatoes in a heated green house.
Auntie said Rosemary was a messy eater and loved throwing her breakfast cornflakes onto the dining room walls.
Uncle would laugh at Rosemary's antics, auntie frequently broke wind when in company of others.
Looking at my beautiful wife Rosemary, I am astonished by her adolescent antics and see only the opposite behaviour most of the time.
No one is 100% perfect, but I will give Rosemary a 99% plus!
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
A Menstruating period in Australian Cricket."Come on Aussie Come On"
It is now into winter where I am right now, outside the sun is shining-hardly any clouds however the wind chill factor from that breeze from the south is a stark reminder to wear your winter woolies.
Today's Sydney Daily Telegraph was very sparing in the sports dept, likewise was fox tel in the main news, a mention about thugby that was yer lot mate, maybe I thought if I search the hardly read interior pages where the bad news is tucked away between the likes of 'Hair Loss' and 'Ten percent discount on a treatment for Hemorrhoids' adverts where only few dare venture, I may find the embarrassing truth in small print, No not a thing about the supremo's of the Cricket world , the masters the top dogs, the very so called Best players the world has to offer thrashed in two games and out of the tournament,(That will teach them to be up themselves and too cocky. Remember the "Come On Aussie Come on" chant from the stands in the past, well it was certainly their rag time this week.
Being a Pom myself with OZ/Brit dual citizenship I cannot lose face when either of the two old enemies clash but secretly my original English heritage comes to the fore each time and I find it difficult to cover up.
"Hello Roy! A Happy Birthday to You on your 34th Birthday" " have a few beers and enjoy the laugh you must be having on hearing the news, The likes of you not in the OZ team may well have that nose picking gum chewing unshaven gob spitter cursing his misjudgement. I hear on the grapevine the poms are interested to secure your services. you certainly qualify.
Andrew (Roy) Symonds. Born in Birmingham, England, in 1975, he came to Australia aged one with his adoptive parents. He has scored more than 14,000 runs in first-class cricket since 1994. Last week he was sent home in disgrace from England to Brisbane Australia after the latest of his drinking transgressions.
Roy would have been more suited to a different era, maybe two decades back when the likes of Lillee, Thompson and Doug Walters enjoyed a fag and a beer in the dressing room while playing cards before going in to bat.
Congrats to the West Indies on beating Oz, and of course my blog friend Keshi who now lives in Sydney may have mixed feelings that her homeland team SriLanka last night finally put the Australian cricket team to the sword.
Aussies. "Have a thoughtful day. Vest.
BTW, HA HA HA.
Today's Sydney Daily Telegraph was very sparing in the sports dept, likewise was fox tel in the main news, a mention about thugby that was yer lot mate, maybe I thought if I search the hardly read interior pages where the bad news is tucked away between the likes of 'Hair Loss' and 'Ten percent discount on a treatment for Hemorrhoids' adverts where only few dare venture, I may find the embarrassing truth in small print, No not a thing about the supremo's of the Cricket world , the masters the top dogs, the very so called Best players the world has to offer thrashed in two games and out of the tournament,(That will teach them to be up themselves and too cocky. Remember the "Come On Aussie Come on" chant from the stands in the past, well it was certainly their rag time this week.
Being a Pom myself with OZ/Brit dual citizenship I cannot lose face when either of the two old enemies clash but secretly my original English heritage comes to the fore each time and I find it difficult to cover up.
"Hello Roy! A Happy Birthday to You on your 34th Birthday" " have a few beers and enjoy the laugh you must be having on hearing the news, The likes of you not in the OZ team may well have that nose picking gum chewing unshaven gob spitter cursing his misjudgement. I hear on the grapevine the poms are interested to secure your services. you certainly qualify.
Andrew (Roy) Symonds. Born in Birmingham, England, in 1975, he came to Australia aged one with his adoptive parents. He has scored more than 14,000 runs in first-class cricket since 1994. Last week he was sent home in disgrace from England to Brisbane Australia after the latest of his drinking transgressions.
Roy would have been more suited to a different era, maybe two decades back when the likes of Lillee, Thompson and Doug Walters enjoyed a fag and a beer in the dressing room while playing cards before going in to bat.
Congrats to the West Indies on beating Oz, and of course my blog friend Keshi who now lives in Sydney may have mixed feelings that her homeland team SriLanka last night finally put the Australian cricket team to the sword.
Aussies. "Have a thoughtful day. Vest.
BTW, HA HA HA.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Something really worth reading over the W/end
June 06, 2009 12:00am
WHAT a life. Professor Chris O'Brien made Australia a much better place to live and by all accounts enjoyed a fine time doing so.
His death at 57 is immeasurably sad but certainly not from any perspective of chances missed or potential unrealised.
Almost until his dying day, Professor O'Brien made the most of his chances and reached the very limits of his potential. His life is essentially a how-to guide for honest and spectacular achievement. It should be a matter of national celebration that Professor O'Brien lived long enough to ensure that his vision of an integrated cancer treatment centre would come true.
The ultimate tribute to his life and work will come in 2012, when the centre is expected to be completed.
People who have never heard of Professor O'Brien - people who may not even have been born yet - will continue to benefit from his decades of hard work.
Meanwhile, those close to Professor O'Brien have lost far more than a master medico. They've lost a husband, a father and a friend - whose wicked sense of humour never left him, even as he battled the disease that would claim his life.
Someone who, when the odds were massively stacked against him, still managed to crack a joke. It doesn't get more Australian than that. Professor Chris O'Brien will be deeply, achingly missed.
Andrew Symonds, Mr Cricket in the wrong time frame.
FOR a player who epitomised the modern game, all-rounder Andrew Symonds possibly belonged in a different era.
The excesses that have seen him sent home from England - and probably ended his international career - would likely have blended in seamlessly in the 1960s and '70s. But we can't choose our time. The tragedy is that the conclusion of Symonds' career will obscure its many spectacular highlights - and also the unconventional beginning of his career.
Adopted in the UK by parents who shortly afterwards migrated to Australia, Symonds actually turned down selection for an English team so that he would qualify to play for Australia.
It was a confident (and patriotic) decision, because Queenslander Symonds was at the time still some years from representing Australia.
When he did eventually win selection, Symonds was a stunning performer - particularly in limited-overs cricket but increasingly so in Tests. We wish him well.
A gifted entertainer, Symonds is owed a debt of joy by anyone lucky enough to have watched him at his peak.
'Going to the club tonidght'? Surrender now!
THE SECRET is revealed. It turns out that women go to the bathroom in packs so they can increase their mysterious powers by boosting progesterone levels.
Clever men should surrender immediately. The cleverest already have.
WHAT a life. Professor Chris O'Brien made Australia a much better place to live and by all accounts enjoyed a fine time doing so.
His death at 57 is immeasurably sad but certainly not from any perspective of chances missed or potential unrealised.
Almost until his dying day, Professor O'Brien made the most of his chances and reached the very limits of his potential. His life is essentially a how-to guide for honest and spectacular achievement. It should be a matter of national celebration that Professor O'Brien lived long enough to ensure that his vision of an integrated cancer treatment centre would come true.
The ultimate tribute to his life and work will come in 2012, when the centre is expected to be completed.
People who have never heard of Professor O'Brien - people who may not even have been born yet - will continue to benefit from his decades of hard work.
Meanwhile, those close to Professor O'Brien have lost far more than a master medico. They've lost a husband, a father and a friend - whose wicked sense of humour never left him, even as he battled the disease that would claim his life.
Someone who, when the odds were massively stacked against him, still managed to crack a joke. It doesn't get more Australian than that. Professor Chris O'Brien will be deeply, achingly missed.
Andrew Symonds, Mr Cricket in the wrong time frame.
FOR a player who epitomised the modern game, all-rounder Andrew Symonds possibly belonged in a different era.
The excesses that have seen him sent home from England - and probably ended his international career - would likely have blended in seamlessly in the 1960s and '70s. But we can't choose our time. The tragedy is that the conclusion of Symonds' career will obscure its many spectacular highlights - and also the unconventional beginning of his career.
Adopted in the UK by parents who shortly afterwards migrated to Australia, Symonds actually turned down selection for an English team so that he would qualify to play for Australia.
It was a confident (and patriotic) decision, because Queenslander Symonds was at the time still some years from representing Australia.
When he did eventually win selection, Symonds was a stunning performer - particularly in limited-overs cricket but increasingly so in Tests. We wish him well.
A gifted entertainer, Symonds is owed a debt of joy by anyone lucky enough to have watched him at his peak.
'Going to the club tonidght'? Surrender now!
THE SECRET is revealed. It turns out that women go to the bathroom in packs so they can increase their mysterious powers by boosting progesterone levels.
Clever men should surrender immediately. The cleverest already have.
Monday, 1 June 2009
What is your Lucky or Significant Number?
Numbers effect our lives more so than we imagine and sometimes they finally come home to roost when numbers you feel over time cease to become significant any more, except to those you leave behind who may cherish the timeless moments you shared with them in your lifetime.
Apart from the number One on the house where I was a fostered child together with my Brother Christopher RIP When I was a six year old and Chris seven, I was not bothered by numbers too much even those at school bothered me little as at that time being a child in a happy rural environment was all and everything.
My unfettered lifestyle came as a heart rendering crash when I joined my brother in a Nautical preparatory school at the tender age of ten years and four months; and from then I became Boy 117, my Brother Chris was boy 253
After being sold to the British Royal Navy for about 25 pounds sterling when I turned 15, I joined a class 17 at the RN training establishment and then joined my first ship on the 27th and left on the 27th and joined my next ship on the twenty seventh, although this was un noticed until later. My WW2 journals were confiscated when caught scribbling points of interest for later resurrection, by a man of the cloth(Sin Bos'n) who destroyed them. He suggested I leave this to the War Correspondent on board our ship, and mentioned something about hanging from the yardarm, otherwise more unusual happenings would have been recorded for posterity.
My crash draft to HMS Diadem(later sold to Pakistan and renamed PNS Babur) was on the day The HMS Vanguard sailed to South Africa on Jan 27 1947 For the Royal tour
My next move was in Nov 47 when I sailed on a troop ship the day the Queen of England was married, I then joined my next ship on 27 Nov 1947 in Malta HMS Mauritius and returned to U/K to rejoin my first ship on Aug 27 48. By now I had started to realise there was an odd thing about these dates which I confirmed from my service history.
It was on the 27th of May 1950 when ammunitioning ship on HMS Indomitable I dropped a 4.5inch shell on my left foot, It is a perpetual reminder when I remove my left sock; even to this day.
I first met Rosemary aged sweet seventeen in Portsmouth Eng. We were married in Singapore during my 27th year, and on returning home we lived in Portsmouth at a number 93 (9x3=27) Dec 54.
Three weeks after our second born son arrived on the 27th june 1956, Our little family on July 16 my birthday, moved into a brand new (Mortgaged) home, At, Number 27Yew Tree Avenue.
Then, according to my journals, my next ship HMS Ceylon( which I previously served on in 1952 (Korean war) sailed from Portland Eng To Malta 27th Oct 1956 to become involved with the Suez do, Which turned out to become a major cock up by the French and British.
Nothing of particular significance occurred until that freezing cold morning when the HMS Scarborough with me on board sailed to the far east from Portsmouth on the 27th of Jan 1960. But it was in Aug 1962 on the day Marilyn Monroe died our family in a surprise draft to a cushy job in Hong Kong moved into Married Quarters- hard to believe this, number 93 (9x3=27) once again. Our car in Honkers was a ford prefect Rego number XX511, sinister isn't it. During our stay in H K we moved to a new apartment at number 17 Bremer House on Wongneichong rd Over looking the Happy Valley race course, the numbers only went to twenty, ( this building was demolished three years ago), Returning to U/K in 64 we took up residence in our house at 27 yew tree ave-England.( rented during our absence)
It was then in 1971 after our arrival in Fremantle West Australia on the 27th July that this nonsense with number's twenty seven and close companion seventeen went walkabout. Several residential moves have failed to muster a single 27 or 17 of any significance over a period of nearly half a lifetime.
Last Wednesday, due to our mature age, Nearest and Dearest and I decided to arrange for our exit from this world at an establishment in Toukley NSW AUS. All fully paid up in advance meant no worries for hard up relatives, what was the date last Wednesday? yes that's right May 27. Nice finishing touch you might say but never gave it much thought until we met a lady from Wyong Council to choose a double plot as our last resting place, eventually we both agreed on one which laid adjacent to that of a departed friend, our suppressed morbid thoughts changed to laughter when our guide stated, "That will be in Row (F) number Twenty Seven".
Somehow I feel more comfortable about the hereafter, although right now I am in no hurry to go. Vest.
BTW, Being born on 16-7-1926 during the 27th year of the previous century may have been the catalyst. 93 years old (9x3=27) would also suit as an ETD.
Apart from the number One on the house where I was a fostered child together with my Brother Christopher RIP When I was a six year old and Chris seven, I was not bothered by numbers too much even those at school bothered me little as at that time being a child in a happy rural environment was all and everything.
My unfettered lifestyle came as a heart rendering crash when I joined my brother in a Nautical preparatory school at the tender age of ten years and four months; and from then I became Boy 117, my Brother Chris was boy 253
After being sold to the British Royal Navy for about 25 pounds sterling when I turned 15, I joined a class 17 at the RN training establishment and then joined my first ship on the 27th and left on the 27th and joined my next ship on the twenty seventh, although this was un noticed until later. My WW2 journals were confiscated when caught scribbling points of interest for later resurrection, by a man of the cloth(Sin Bos'n) who destroyed them. He suggested I leave this to the War Correspondent on board our ship, and mentioned something about hanging from the yardarm, otherwise more unusual happenings would have been recorded for posterity.
My crash draft to HMS Diadem(later sold to Pakistan and renamed PNS Babur) was on the day The HMS Vanguard sailed to South Africa on Jan 27 1947 For the Royal tour
My next move was in Nov 47 when I sailed on a troop ship the day the Queen of England was married, I then joined my next ship on 27 Nov 1947 in Malta HMS Mauritius and returned to U/K to rejoin my first ship on Aug 27 48. By now I had started to realise there was an odd thing about these dates which I confirmed from my service history.
It was on the 27th of May 1950 when ammunitioning ship on HMS Indomitable I dropped a 4.5inch shell on my left foot, It is a perpetual reminder when I remove my left sock; even to this day.
I first met Rosemary aged sweet seventeen in Portsmouth Eng. We were married in Singapore during my 27th year, and on returning home we lived in Portsmouth at a number 93 (9x3=27) Dec 54.
Three weeks after our second born son arrived on the 27th june 1956, Our little family on July 16 my birthday, moved into a brand new (Mortgaged) home, At, Number 27Yew Tree Avenue.
Then, according to my journals, my next ship HMS Ceylon( which I previously served on in 1952 (Korean war) sailed from Portland Eng To Malta 27th Oct 1956 to become involved with the Suez do, Which turned out to become a major cock up by the French and British.
Nothing of particular significance occurred until that freezing cold morning when the HMS Scarborough with me on board sailed to the far east from Portsmouth on the 27th of Jan 1960. But it was in Aug 1962 on the day Marilyn Monroe died our family in a surprise draft to a cushy job in Hong Kong moved into Married Quarters- hard to believe this, number 93 (9x3=27) once again. Our car in Honkers was a ford prefect Rego number XX511, sinister isn't it. During our stay in H K we moved to a new apartment at number 17 Bremer House on Wongneichong rd Over looking the Happy Valley race course, the numbers only went to twenty, ( this building was demolished three years ago), Returning to U/K in 64 we took up residence in our house at 27 yew tree ave-England.( rented during our absence)
It was then in 1971 after our arrival in Fremantle West Australia on the 27th July that this nonsense with number's twenty seven and close companion seventeen went walkabout. Several residential moves have failed to muster a single 27 or 17 of any significance over a period of nearly half a lifetime.
Last Wednesday, due to our mature age, Nearest and Dearest and I decided to arrange for our exit from this world at an establishment in Toukley NSW AUS. All fully paid up in advance meant no worries for hard up relatives, what was the date last Wednesday? yes that's right May 27. Nice finishing touch you might say but never gave it much thought until we met a lady from Wyong Council to choose a double plot as our last resting place, eventually we both agreed on one which laid adjacent to that of a departed friend, our suppressed morbid thoughts changed to laughter when our guide stated, "That will be in Row (F) number Twenty Seven".
Somehow I feel more comfortable about the hereafter, although right now I am in no hurry to go. Vest.
BTW, Being born on 16-7-1926 during the 27th year of the previous century may have been the catalyst. 93 years old (9x3=27) would also suit as an ETD.
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