Showing posts from September, 2007

I Want to Live to Ninety Nine, Good old Ninety Nine, Wouldn't it be Fine

The number of Britons reaching the age of 100 will hit a record 9,000 today and is expected to reach 40,000 by 2031 Jeanne Calment died aged 122, the world's oldest person A boom in life expectancy shows the number of centenarians has increased 90-fold since 1911 and many young children are now expected to live to 100 or beyond. People are now reaching old age in much better health and have a far better standard of living than previous generations. The longest life on record is that of a French woman who died in 1997 at 122. Today's figures on population in England and Wales disclosed a picture of a fast ageing population. The rapid increase in the number of very elderly people began in the 1950s and is attributed to improvements in housing, health care, nutrition and sanitation. Life expectancy for British women has risen from only 50 a century ago to 81 now. And by 2080 it will rise to 100. For men, life expectancy is 76. Life expectancy increases at around two years per deca

"What on earth is BODMAS"?.

"WHAT on earth is BODMAS"? Bod is a little person who first appeared on UK Children's TV many years ago. Is BODMAS something to do with Bod and his mothers (Ma's)? - Not really, though it may be a good way to remember BODMAS. It's actually an Acronym (word for letters used to shorten a collection of words to make them more "snappy", for example - did you know that NUT stands for the National Union of Teachers - which may explain why most teachers are NUTs!) sorry Ag, BODMAS is the secret code which enables us to know exactly the right sequence of doing things mathematically. In particular electronic calculators have to use a rule (known in computing circles as an algorithm) to know which answer to calculate when given a string of numbers to add, subtract, multiply, divide etc. What do you think the answer to 2 + 3 x 5 is? Is it (2 + 3) x 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 ? or 2 + (3 x 5) = 2 + 15 = 17 ? BODMAS can come to the rescue and give us rules to follow so that we a

Democracy and Freedom are 'Not the Same Thing'.

THE difference between democracy, which refers to any system where people vote for rulers, and freedom, which is the absence of government coercion and the concomitant liberty to control one's own life and property: Democracy means voting. It does not mean freedom. When we lump the two ideas together, we confuse ourselves and others. Britain was a free country long before it became democratic. In Germany, Hitler was elected democratically. In much of Africa, democracy in practice has meant, "One man, one vote -- one time," as elected leaders put an end to both elections and freedom. It would be wonderful to have free and democratic nations throughout the world, and that would very likely reduce military conflicts, But we do not ensure freedom by holding elections.

The 2007 Toukley Business Awards. "They were only here for the Beer"

TOUKLEY NSW Australia . Starting a business in Toukley would require some smart thinking. Wandering around its CBD you will discover the sad picture of past businesses that have gone bust . This is mainly due to the ever increasing powers of the shopping malls, however, this is not about some magical cure for their setbacks, but the reason the Toukley Chamber Of Commerce decided not to use a Toukley venue such as their RSL or Bowling club for their annual event, thus depriving possibly one of the two major businesses in town of a good earner. Hardly like keeping it in the family when it was decided that my local club, The Halekulani Bowling Club, Which is located several klms away from Toukley was chosen to host the event, or were there some overwhelming fiscal anomalies between the different clubs grog prices, I'll stick my neck out and say this is the case. Traveling around to the five nearest clubs surrounding the Halekulani Bowling Club in Budgewoi, the Bar drinks

Men are either very Clever or really stupid.

Men: either very clever or really stupid This could spark a row over the breakfast table, but recent research has found that there are more clever men than women. There are twice as many males as females in the brightest two per cent of the population. Males scored the highest and lowest scores in all the tests The research, however, also points out that there are twice as many males as females in the least intelligent two per cent of the country. The researchers said that they eliminated factors such as education and upbringing by comparing members of the same family. They looked at the intelligence of more than 2,500 brothers and sisters by testing them on science, maths, English and mechanical ability. Males scored the highest and lowest scores in all the tests and also performed better in science and arithmetic. Women occupied the middle ground and were also found to be better at languages, which is not surprising being that their tongues are continually wagging. One theory put

A Seven Year Hitch or Go for Broke.

Preview Seven-year hitch A GERMAN politician has proposed a law making marriage contracts null and void after seven years, with the option to renew for those not feeling the proverbial itch. "I propose that marriages lapse after seven years,'' Gabriele Pauli told reporters in Munich, the capital of the largely Catholic southern state of Bavaria. "This would mean that one will only commit for a fixed period and will actively have to renew your vows if you still want to continue.'' Perhaps unsurprisingly, Ms Pauli, 50, has been divorced twice. "It means that, in future, people would in future enter marriages only on a time-limited basis, and would then actively say 'yes' to an extension," she added. She argued that, since a high proportion of marriages end in divorce and many people stay married only for fear of separation or for financial reasons, "perhaps one can live better outside marriage." Pauli conceded that "the fine poin

Make him Fall in Love with You. You can become 'The Woman he Adores'

He says Hot women have big ones. They don’t need to be cartoon-like – although that’s fine – but they do need to be large enough to defeat men’s better natures and lure their eyes down. Big, full mouths are hot. Blokes love ‘em. And when a woman has a sexy mouth it smooths over a host of hassles between the genders. Like talking, for instance. Women love to rabbit on, which bores blokes – not to tears, of course, but it does drive them to beers and sport and stuff. Yet, if the woman has a rich, voluptuous talker, then a bloke can smile and nod for hours, mesmerised. Particularly if she has attitude. It doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad, so long as the chick has some edge. Blokes don’t care whether she’s tough as nails or a golden-hearted lass. Actually, a bit of ‘tude is good, especially if she says something cutting then turns on her (high) heel and struts off. That way we get a look at her most curvaceous asset and also get a break from her talking. Bringing up the rear And abo

Dannii Devoured Me............This post is for those who like Fun and not Fighting

A STRIPPER has spoken for the first time about the night she turned Kylie's little sister into Dannii MinOH-OH-OH-gue with some very dirty dancing. We were first to reveal how millions were logging on to watch CCTV scenes of the girl-on-girl romp posted on the internet. Click for sexy pics of stripper Janine Now Janine Marshall has broken her silence about the encounter at the Puss In Boots nightspot in London and told us: "Dannii devoured me during that dance like a ravenous tiger." Janine, 24, revealed how 35-year-old Dannii: BEGGED for the stripper's attention GROPED her breasts and bum. GAWPED as naked Janine put her privates on parade. Dannii, now rating fresh singing talent with Simon Cowell on X Factor, gave Janine's performance a perfect 10. When she arrived at the club in September 2005 with her boyfriend and another couple, the Aussie star immediately singled out the stripper. Janine said: "She picked me for a private dance so I led them to a quiet

Do you think War with Iran Inevitable? Not interested? go to the the latest post for a bit of hanky panky.

The world should “prepare for war” with Iran , according to the French foreign minister. Bernard Kouchner said “we must negotiate right to the end” with Iran but if Teheran developed an atomic weapon it would pose “a real danger for the whole world”. His comments come as the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council and Germany prepare to meet to discuss a new draft UN resolution on sanctions against Iran this week. Teheran has ignored UN deadlines to stop enriching uranium, claiming its nuclear activity is for civilian purposes, but tough sanctions have thus far been resisted by Russia and China. Do you have faith in the United Nations to find a peaceful resolution to nuclear proliferation? Are there any other options apart from sanctions or war? Or do you think that war with Iran is inevitable? If Iran already had a nuke, Denmark would now be a chemical wasteland for printing cartoons Why do we even allow Pakistan to have nuclear weapons? It's not stable or a

Annoying Telephone Calls." Right in the middle of having dinner". Particularly those from the Sub Continent.

You may be interested in this if you receive constant spam telemarketing calls: Regards, Vest.

What's New ' PUSSY CAT' ? Cooking feral pussies (That means Cats) Not going downstairs for dinner..

An Australian has come up with a novel solution to the millions of feral cats roaming the Outback: eat them. A feral cat will eat almost anything that moves, including lizards, small mammals and spiders Wild cats - the escaped descendants of domestic cats - kill millions of small native animals each year. Now the tables have turned and they find themselves on the menu. A bush tucker competition held at the weekend in Alice Springs, in the Red Centre of the continent, featured something new: wild cat casserole. "It's a white meat," said Kay Kessing, who came up with the recipe. "They vary a lot. The first cat I cooked didn't have a strong flavour. I put a lot of ingredients with it and made a beautiful stew. "This cat that I've cooked is slightly larger. It has a slightly stronger flavour, but not as strong as rabbit." advertisement A children's book author and illustrator, Mrs Kessing campaigns to save wild-life from the depredations of cats

The Peanut Solution. But Vest say's, "The peanut Scheme of the Fifties was a Failure."

A kind blogger has sent me information on how to upgrade the nutrition of the starving African people. Chicago: The simple way to feed thousands starving in Africa? Peanut Butter. In a US study, nearly 3000 malnourished chidren were treated with an enriched peanut butter mixture. Of those, 89 per cent of the severely malnourished children and 85 per cent of the moderately malnourished children recovered. The recovery rate for given standard therapies is less than 50 per cent. "The peanut butter feeding has been a Quantum leap in feeding malnourished children in Africa" Dr Mark Manary said. Vest say's without researching, I recall the British Govt's Failure of the East African groundnut scheme in the fifties, when equal to a $125,000000 was poured into an ill fated scheme to provide food and vegetable oil for Africans and British people. Of course that figure in todays terms would be more like $12,500,000,000. The tumultous task was abandoned by the Brit Gov

Water taster CHOOK Drops Dead. Dodgy drop blamed for Chinese Chicken Cashing in its Chips

Water taster chicken drops dead. THINK a bottle of mineral water might have poisoned you? Then test it on a chicken. One Chinese family on the southern island province of Hainan had just that idea when one of their number started vomiting blood after drinking a bottle of water, a newspaper said. They fed the luckless chicken the rest of the water to see what would happen, the Beijing News said, citing a report in a local paper. "The result was the chicken died within a minute," it said, showing a picture of a man holding a plastic bottle squatting over the crumpled body of the bird. The province's authorities were investigating, it added. Barely a day goes by without some new scandal over a made-in-China product, be it toys, toothpaste or fish, which has raised safety concerns in major export markets around the world. Watch your tipple, We could have a spate of poisonings around the world blamed on Chinese products, frightening Ennit.

Get down with the Bullshit with Bush. Incompetence with relish.

His divine glorious my shite doesn't stink the incomparable El supremo George Wanker Bush leader of the gun loving red necks of the good ole U S of A, stumbles over the pronunciation of Jemaah Islamiah the regional terror organization; during a speech at the Sydney Opera House. Friday 7th Sept. After months of build up for (APEC), The Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit, Dimwit George pain in the ass Bush thanks his buddy in inefficiency our looney Prime Miniature(God 2nd class)John Winnie Howard for being such a kind host for the O P E C, Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries Summit. This was another cock up by this infamous Boofhead when he botched the host country name when he referred to Wee Chicken Hawk Johnie Howard's junket to Iraq 2006 thanking him for his AUSTRIAN troops stationed in Iraq. "YANKEE GO HOME" Vest Daily Gaggle

'Conundrums'. Do you have one to add to this list? I'll bet you do.

CONUNDRUMS 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that el

Greedy Federal Government deny funds to Dying Women. Will the Rudd Labour Govt take up the slack and fund 'Tykerb'

AUSTRALIAN women with advanced breast cancer are being warned they could die earlier than necessary because an expensive drug was rejected for listing on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme (PBS). Doctors and patients are dismayed by the Federal Government's decision not to subsidise Tykerb because of "unacceptable cost-effectiveness" The only hope of it being listed on the(PBS) now rests on the Federal Labour Govt being elected around Oct 07, this other PBS( Pork barrelling scheme)by the Fed Labour party, promising funding for 'Tykerb' would be a vote collector for a Kevin Rudd Labour Government. Tykerb has been shown to extend life expectancy in women with aggressive HER2-positive breast cancer who have run out of treatment options, including the drug Herceptin. But at $3800 a month, on top of other medical costs, many women will be unable to afford it. University of Sydney oncologist Associate Professor Fran Boyle said she felt frustrated by the Pharmaceutical B

Benedict; Ex German Hitler Youth Now the Holy Vatican Beancounter

Responding to Pope Benedict's plan to achieve "social justice" through higher taxes and more government intervention, the Holy Father is reminded of the difference between voluntary charity and coercive income redistribution, moral argument against the notion that compassion can be measured by spending someone else's money: There's a more fundamental question that I'd put to the pope: Should the Roman Catholic Church support the welfare state? Or, put more plainly, should the church support the use of the coercive powers of government to enable one person to live at the expense of another? Put even more plainly, should the church support the government's taking the property of one person and giving it to another to whom it doesn't belong? When such an act is done privately, we call it theft…The pope might say that the welfare state reflects the will of the people. Would that mean the church interprets God's commandment to Moses "Thou shalt not

"Hi there Muzzies!! - Get Some 'PORK on Yer FORK. Halal Bacon-A Big Porkie.

A CATERING company has apologised to Muslim university students after trying to sell them "Halal bacon and egg rolls". Vest Say's "Are these students that thick in the head that they actually believe that Bacon could be sourced from meat other than a PIG" University of Western Sydney students had been suspicious for months about the authenticity of food labelled 'HALAL' at campus canteens. Their concerns were unexpectedly proved correct when in-house catering company UWSConnect offered "halal bacon and egg rolls'' at the Bankstown campus. Muslims are forbidden to eat any pig products. But some would if they could. "It's just the most awful mistake" "We are deeply embarrassed and ashamed, and we've apologised profusely for causing offence, both verbally and in writing". "I mean, of all products, it had to be the bacon and egg roll". "At the end of the day, it's our fault and it's an appalling