Wednesday, 28 December 2005


Mr KERRY PACKER (A GREAT AUSTRALIAN) And formerly Australia's wealthiest person, passed away on Monday Jan- 26. His demise is attributed to heart and kidney failure.
On a lighter note, many notable people have suggested that, Kerry, would have secured his future in advance. Kerry being a Fun person and someone who enjoyed life to the full, It is now expected that HEAVEN will soon be getting its first TV and Radio Networks, Plus Casino's and Slot machines, One Day 50 overs Cricket and Horse Racing.
The only way myself and many other people became involved with Kerry, was to contribute to his wealth.
Kerry I have been told was a great Philanthropist, although a few Billion would hardly put a dent into his balance.
I personally never came in contact with Kerry, however most people who did regarded him as a great person and a good guy.
Those intending to depart for higher places soon will have the surprise of their(New Life) Thanks to Kerry.

Friday, 16 December 2005


The following preamble is a laymans explanation of the rules of cricket to the people of North America.
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he is out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When one side are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that has been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice, after the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
The general rules of actual play are saturated with a glossary of terms and conditions with sub rules, with the prefixes 'Unless, depending, benefit of doubt, and other Misc Claptrap, every morsel of important cricket goings on is recorded in WISDEN a sacred hard to get book with more info on cricket than Brittanica, from the time the first ball was bowled in Hambledon Hampshire England in the early 19th century . There is more to read in Wisden than the 'Holy Bible' or the 'SevenPillars of WISDOM'.
Any Cricket Jokes?

Wednesday, 14 December 2005

The future women of our world requesting hand outs from Santa, published in local rag.

Make the World a better Place.
Dear santa and elves and reinder, hi my name is Dayna and I am 7 years old. How are you? For ChristmistI would like 1, pet buney, 2 pet dog jerman sheped pointer, 3. a pet horse,4 a toy and much more.and to make the world a better place, 1, help the poor people, 2, give clean water, 3 give donasans for people, 4, give a good christmis to all people in the world,
And what I think abiat Christmist-I dekorate the home, 2, be good and be holly, 3, give love and canpassion. FROM ME Dayna, Lisaro. (Written with a bit of conniving from mom probably, V)

Dear santa. I would like a Bratz Doll thank you. I want people to pick up their rubbish, scrub the writings off the buildings, pick up their dog poo, no garbage in the sea or down the drain. Be nice to each other, listen to your Mum and Dad. a smile is free. be happy. Love Mollie, 6, Kariong.
(With help from mum again. V)

Can I have a pair of wheelies.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I would like a pair of wheelies size 4 or 5, Probably size 4. I'm 9 this year. you probably knew that. Love from Samantha, Blue Bay.

Any more requests Telephone the NORFPOLE.

You are watching Hebrew Television, There is little other choice.

It does appear that those who were ostracised by the govt of that 'One balled Chocolate waffling vegetarian Mr Shicklegruber, are now in total control of the media industry and walk hand in hand with their former enemies; the industrial and political Fascists. Both Ideoligies seemingly working together lovingly.
Why do 95% of film makers; despite the many differing creeds and racial origins globaly, always dominate their scripts with hebrew names for their actors.
Mind you, cronyism and nepotism is rife within the film industry and would seem that since the dawn of the Hollywood film set up, the Cecil B De- Mille's, Fred Zimmerman's, Goldberg's and Spielbergs and the like, have passed down opportunities to their own extended families and creed, hence a few years ago an Australian fronting up for his film industry award stated to the embarrassment of many present,"Seems like I am the only Gentile here tonight".
I am sick of people who play the role's of people not of their obvious genetic make up.
For example, like an Arab or Jewish person, portraying an Anglo saxon English country Lord of the manor or village Squire, named Larry Caplan and his beautiful A/sax wife Jennifer-nee- Finklestien. This was brought to my notice by a friend of mine , David, Moshe, Bennett, when only a few days ago told me that, he was staying in that night to watch some Hebrew television.
I am left wondering if I am the Only person to notice this. I dont need any anti semetic crap either; my dear grand mother was Jewish.
I do not take exception to Pantomime role's where for example unshaven men in drag play the part of the Ugly Sisters and women are playing principal boys, that's just too funny, but I do find it distressing when a smelly Billy Goat portrays the part of a Thoroughbred.

Thursday, 8 December 2005


PLEASE feel free to comment, get it off your chest before the year runs out, about anything you wish to say. NO DELETIONS UNLESS THEY ARE OBSCENE.

VEST: I would like to say hello to my OLD shipmates of the HMS King George V assoc in the U/K to whom I will send a new JLS pen to replace their misplaced one ; should they comment here. We of the assoc in Australia have recently returned from a hilarious holiday in Coffs Harbour, going wild and enjoying life to the full, (Read your news letter)My beautiful Lady and myself are sailing down to Tasmania mid Jan, those of you who haven't yet lost their marbles will remember our ship going there Jan-8-46, and the great reception we had from the locals.
Reading your news letters really has me wondering what your domestic lives entail, as your assoc annual meanderings appear to be in need of a vitality boost, your several minor adventures were mostly centred around boring venues; unctious church services and retiring to your beds at 9PM, "How Frightfully Exciting". It also seems that, our Assoc in the UK is lacking in leadership, or is it that the 'Lord of the Manor come Village Squire Kow Towing Syndrome' is still prevalant among you. "I say, you old English chappies" "Do you have to have a senior officer not of our ships company to lead you". BTW if the rude old Chancre bosun I spoke to over a year ago is still around, please would you say "Thank you" for the 'J L Spencer book you asked for free gratis that I sent you. In the washup I feel you old guys in the U/K need a push in the right direction, but never mind; not long to go now; pray hard, I reccomend you click on to , For your next annual vacation. (just kidding) vest,

Tuesday, 6 December 2005


Where in heavens name is Vandiemans Land
Er indoors and I are off on a voyage of rediscovery on Jan-26-05. For the inquisitive check it out on Google.
I first visited Vandiemans Land Jan-8-1946, shortly after repairs to the ship I served on; The 'HMS King Geoge V', a huge Battleship during WW2, called into Hobart while on its journey home to England.
Unfortunately the ship was booked out for the Jan- 6-05 sailing, however, the sea journey from Sydney to Devonport; on the north of Vandiemans Land takes 22 hours, my darling and I are taking our car and have a cabin to our selves. Total cost for the return sea journey and ten days motel accom is estimated at less than Aus-$2,000, or US $1,500 plus spending money, the cost of the car on the ship is included.
Keep your eye on this website early Feb for this fabulous story of rediscovery to unfold. I hope to return with a host of TASMANIAN jokes to unleash onto my Nth American and Brit bloggers about Australias only Island State 'TASMANIA'. For your next seagoing experience it must be 'THE SPIRIT OF TASMANIA'.

Monday, 5 December 2005


The good news is my CAT SCAN has indicated that, I could be around for a few more years yet, provided I make an attempt to take up more healthy pursuits. mind you I still have a few aches and pains WITCH my Doctor; who is Chinese/Indonesian (racism not intended) tells me my problems are indicative to social excesses; as he pushes his account into my reluctant hand and asks " Why you look at me so suspiciously".

Not a very good night at the club on Friday, we left early due to a club member at our table who has a high opinion of himself deciding to crack jokes about Penises and BJs, who then objected to a nearby person using the 'F' word in front of his gibbering woman. However Sat night was far better at the Soccer Club, a 'Fleetwood Mac' tribute show, we then got to bed at 2am.

Sunday Dec-4. We were rudley awakened by an air rescue Chopper landing close by in our quiet secluded street, at 6 something am. Peering out of the window we saw one wrecked red car on the other side of the road; several Police cars and emergency vehicles plus one power & telephone pole down, leaving us without power until one pm, the five young guys in the car were returning from partying all night, all were flown to a major hosp close by, no news yet of any injuries. Last year the next pole up was demolished by a drunken pick up truck driver, when the cement mixer in the back of his truck;due to the sudden stop flew over truck cab and landed thirty feet down the road.
Mon Dec-5. Our peaceful street has returned to normal except for my friends crunched wall and a new utility pole.
I shall shortly pick up the calling cards our neighbors dog has left in our garden, as todays temp is expected to reach 35 cel, or 90 fah, for those countries dragging the progress chain.
We have cancelled our proposed trip to 'Fragrant Harbour' the sino name for Hong Kong, due to a possible continuation of the rioting in the former Brit colony.

Thursday, 1 December 2005

Seasons Greetings!

Here's something you might like to look at. Click on image to make text readable

Wednesday, 9 November 2005


A Study of my web stats indicates only about 2% of visitors commented on the previous posts relating to the Gold Card. Not interested, only for oldies and we will never get it attitude possibly by oldies, too proud are you? what a shame, well a lot of you will boot the bucket earlier than you anticipate due to your complacency,and the Govt will double dip due to your earlier departure, the futility of it all will bring gleeful joy to the yellow toothed Uber Rodents in Canberra.

At last I received a letter from De-anne Kelly MP Minister of Veteran Affairs; via my Federal MP Jill Hall; thanks Jill for your efforts to help,you have done your best for us. but it is a losing fight for the aged British Vets, the numbers of those in dire need would be around the lower hundreds.
I shall not consider myself as one of those unfortunates, I being only 80 and only suffering from asbestos related pleurosy.
Mind you our Fed Govt is doing a great job and has managed to spend about $65 million bucks from the several billion surplus on more important ventures like:$12 million to upgrade and expand Aus war memorials, another $11million to build Anzac Hall, $7million for refurbishing of some war memorials, and to encourage 'Pride in Aus Military History' another $15million, other small cosmetic issues add up to around $12.5million.
In addition; we have an outpouring of funds to various countries supposedly in need, who in turn would stab you in the back if the need arose, for example our neighbour Indonesia has been deluged with millions of our hard earned bucks, to enable them to combat bird flu, while us OZZIES have not the faintest hope of getting the vaccine for ourselves.
Meanwhile 'Billy Bunter' aka Foriegn Minister Alex Downer; our famous fat draft dodging hero and chicken hawke wimp is overseas wringing his podgy hands; attempting to appease the Singapore Govt PM; to not hang a Viet born Aussie convicted of serious drug offences. most people are certain the guy will swing within a few days, getting off 'aint gonna happen' as this would set a precedent and seriously stuff up the Singapore Govts draconian drug laws.
Australia has at least three major drug dramas unfolding within Indonesia at the present time, with the possibility of a dozen Australian guys having their guts blown apart by machine gun fire if found guilty; there is little chance of them going free.wanna bet.

It all boils down to one thing , the Feds are spending millions in tax payers money; preferably on the deceased rather than a small minority among the living.
These proposed memorials will again depict names of the glorious past heroes in order of rank and importance; followed in goldleaf bold letters by the incongruous names of the the minister or ministers who performed the act of unveiling, usually a high ranking(Does that mean smelly) politician. There is a plethora of these BUSH arse licking non combatant draft dodging fat cat chicken hawke wimps in Canberra, who can provide hidden back up clauses in the Fed Legislation to prevent non true blue ozzies from pushing the beer swilling golden ozzies Snouts from the benefits trough.
So you sinister ministers in Canberra, yours is a triumph of stupidity and arrogance over commonsense and dignity and at this moment in time I shall present to each a credibility award, that of, 13%lower than that of a Backyard Car Sales Person.
The sooner politicians the world over have their brains replaced with Cauliflowers and religeous orders are abolished globally, we will be then be controlled by the truth and love we all need; instead of the present lies distortions and greed.

De-anne Kelly Minister for Veteran Affairs. So sweet of you to eventually reply.
I am aware of your slogan 'Putting people of Dawson first' doesn't that include you yourself, surely a state based MP would fix that problem, leaving you more time to get stuck into you cushy Canberra pidgeon hole. BTW fancy you of all people having
a branch head with the name of Ian Kelly, surely not two Relo's with similar names.
Enjoy your Idyllic life down on the farm-- until the yellow hordes consume our country, I hope you take notice that a fith column of thousands are here already ( mostly in your state) preparing for the final assault. I would also like to inform you due to that drop of Vitriol at the end of your letter you will not be receiving a xmas card from me in the future, and it please's me to know That I am not of your Banana bending ilk Biologically or by species.
As for the Wretched Medallion which was returned to me uninscribed, by express post, thereby wasting another $7-50 of taxpayer dosh, it has been finaly laid to rest as like the gold card, ignominously slung to the bottom of my sock(sox) Drawer.
Feel free to comment, VEST DAILY GAGGLE>

Friday, 21 October 2005


Like most of us vets did during WW2 and then choose to migrate and remain in Australia as Citizens for up to SIXTY YEARS. You will be technically referred to as 'Lower Grade Australians.'

If you put your life on the line in the defence of Australia in times of war, as did friends relatives and other colleagues of mine and who died as a result, also the other men who survived the horrors of war and chose to stay or migrate to Australia at the first opportunity and become Australians by choice, you must pass a stringent test, and on graduation you will be invited to sing, "We are-you-are-wer'e all Australians" etc.
But wait!! That is only until when you apply for The Elusive Veterans Medical benefits 'GOLD CARD'. At this point you will be informed, "Well!! you are not really Australians are you".
This degrading Gold Card fiasco is a blight on the democratic principles of the Australian Federal Govt, This type of discrimination is similar to that shown by Mr Schickelgruber ( The one balled vegetarian fascist's) anti semetic policy, and should be redressed in Federal Parliament at the earliest opportunity.
Our decendants and those of (Dare I say it) other Australian 'Caste's , will reap the benefits from our efforts to make Australia safe and a great place to live.
Vest, Octogenarian. Daily Gaggle. Proud to be Australian.

Thursday, 13 October 2005

Dear Mr Prime Minister Of Australia, The Hon John Howard MP.

I am left wondering, under what circumstances and by whose whimsical conception WHY ? the hard attitudes of consecutive bigoted Federal Governments of the People of Australia, have decreed that, the Magnitude of the Sacrifice and Achievements by the men of the British Royal Navy in the Pacific Theatre of war 1944-1945, by whose actions gave enormous benefit to our country Australia and its people, should be ignominously considered contentious and unequal to Australians 'Born and Bred.
Sir, If such system of measurement exists, it would be purely hypothetical and genetically passed on by successive leaders who have an axe to grind, and who better to dislike than the Boss or Mother Country, from whence we came to do our bit.
To those 'True Blue Australians' who served with us on British ships and those who crewed borrowed British ships I say well done,you deserve your Medical benefits 'GOLD CARD'.
I would also like to thank the Royal Australian Navy for their role in delivering the Mail to the Fighting Ships.
Finally Sir, it is hoped that you will find a new measure, and that, you Sir will find it large enough to enable your Government to pour a little of its comfort towards our members, if only those; who are mostly over 80 years old, and who may be in dire need, or will what's left of the strength and determination of the Brits that survived, be enough to give them the will to make it through without the Gold Card. Vest not Forget.

Monday, 10 October 2005



Battleships, 40,000 ton 4. / 2, one French
Fleet Aicraft Carriers 5.
Escort Aircraft Carriers 12. / 16
Heavy & light Cruisers .
6 to 8,000 Tons 10, 2 NZ,1 Canadaian. / 13, 1 Dutch
Destroyers 40, 6 on loan to RAN. / 45, 1 dutch 2 French
The above ships formed the fighting force, except the 6 RAN destroyers on N A S Duties escorting Supply Ships and 'Bringing up the Mail' The "GOLD CARD MEN'
Frigates & Sloops 31./ 59, 5 R Indian Navy
Submarines 29. /14
Minesweepers 33./ 31, 15 R INDIAN NAVY
Landing ships - 21.
Maintenance/Repair ships 15. /21.
Fleet Oil Tankers 22.
Hospital Ships 6.
Ammunition & Store Ships 43.

TOTALS 245 Ships in all. 222 Ships in all.

Thursday, 6 October 2005

The British Veteran's Badge



So it seems you only have your selves to blame, that, my platitudes have fallen on the deaf ears of the cheats in Canberra.

Oct 4, I received a letter from people who described themseles as an offshoot of the (RSL)Returned Servicemans League. I was offered tickets for the chance to win a posh house in Queensland(Fat Chance) at $5-00 a pop. The benefits from this lottery going to Australian ex Servicemen, like legacy etc. As a British ex service man who fought for Australia during WW2, and not a gold card recipient, I wrote in reply to their letter telling them where to stuff their begging letter, why in heavens name should I be considered unworthy of recognition, yet be expected to pay the beer and poker machine expenses of some of the fit and healthy and some younger gold card recipients I know, who frequent my local clubs and pubs. Don't they get enough?
My main request is for the more senior members of ex Brit/Aus war vets to be afforded medical assistance (Gold card standard) when in dire need, not as a god given right.

Oct 6, Today I recieved a letter from a 83 year old former member of the British Pacific Fleet, there will be some editing, by me.

"When we arrived home behind the front door was your book, which by the way I havent had a chance to read yet,lt was nice of you to send it. It was a pleasure to meet Rose and yourself if only for a short time.1 found Sydney,swarming with japanese, it was just like being in Tokyo. We went to the Anzac Club and also to a new R.S.L.Club to me they were like Casino's hundred's of slot machines, nothing like our exservice club.s. We had a nice day out at Manly which we both liked, we also went on a trip to the blue mountains and the rain forest which went well. We had a good night out on the river boat show cruise, and that was full of Japanese.Over all we enjoyed Sydney, and it was nice to visit Australia. But overall most of our party thought we were made far more welcome in Singapore than Australia. We had a garden party at the high commissioner's house the band of the ghurka regiment was playing music for us. In the evening a memorial stone was was unveiled at the old British Naval base, in memory of Force Z, The HM Ships Prince of Wales and Repulse, and the East Indies and British Pacific Fleet's 1941-1945. The H.M.S.York was along side and the ship's company mixed with us, plenty of beer and wine; which were freebees, unlike the Garden Island fiasco. which in comparison was a shambles to say the least. Good job Rosemary Bowyer was there to save the day with the Whiskey Boat. You didn't meet Shirley my wife, she had an accident before we came away, we were at a service station on the motorvay having a cup of coffee,, on our way from Torquay, when the girl collecting the empties dropped a cup and it broke and cut her foot she went to hospital, and it was found she had severed a tendon and she had to have an operation, it hasn't healed properly and she has no control over her toe, and it drops under her foot, at the moment she will have to have another operation and we have a compensation case on going. + I have put my films in but I haven't had them back yet. I have enclosed a photo of Shirley and myself taken in june this year while we were on holiday in Montenegro. It took us about four days to get over the jet lag, and we both finished with heavy cold's from the air conditioning, Our next big parade is Trafalgar day which we celebrate every year, Every one on parade gets a tot of pussers and a pint of beer. We also have the Welsh Regiment on parade with us and they bring along the Goat, every one keep's feeding him carrots dipped in rum, at the end of the day he has to be carried home. Not much more to say at the moment, will keep in touch as you can imagine you'r book will do the rounds in the Navy club - Billy McGill

Friday, 16 September 2005

The Gold Coloured Medallion. Could this be a step closer the medical benefits'Gold Card'

Will the presentation of this Medallion soften the hearts of Canberra Bean Counters ?
Last month I was informed by the Dept of Veteran Affairs that I among many others would be presented with a special medallion which commemorates the 60th anniversary of the end of WW2 in the Pacific, this medallion was to be presented to me by my Federal member of parliament Jill Hall, whom I remember as a helpful and industrious person.
The presentation was low key(Save me the detail) . I took notice that about 30% of the recipients were expat Brits who served in the Pacific during WW2, I was photographed together with Jill Hall (MP), I then received a small box containing a gold coloured medallion, it was enscribed - WORLD WAR 2 SERVICE TO AUSTRALIA. inside of the box a message on a small card states: It is presented in 2005 by the Australion govt on behalf of the Australian people to those who served this nation and her allies during the war from 1939 to 1945.
I also received a folded 6x8inch commemoration form With the Australian coat of arms etc, with printed signatures of our Prime Minister John Winston Howard who signed himself John Howard and vet affairs MP De-Anne Kelly, then finaly Jill Halls signature with a real pen, bless her, Well done Jill Hall.
The statement on the certificate reads thus:
In 2005 we commemorate the 60th anniversary of the end of WW2.
Australia has a long tradition of commemorating our wartime history and honouring
the service and sacrifice of our servicemen and women during those times.
Our veterans and their families have given much to protect the Australian way of life
in times of conflict and helped build our community in times of peace.
We thank you sincerely for your contribution to our nation.

Well well well!! How would anyone interpret this message other than an admission that us Brits who also did more than our bit, should receive the gold card.
Incidently, apart from the official invitation to attend for the presentation, My NAME WAS NOT EVEN PRINTED ON THE DOCUMENT OR INSCRIBED ON THE MEDALLION.

Thursday, 15 September 2005

The Australian 'GOLD CARD'. The ongoing Gold Card saga plods its weary way through the morass of political discrimination.

The first requirement for this elusive 'Gold Card is that, you were born in Australia, or if you migrated to Australia and served in the armed services and faced the enemy in the defence or in the interests of Australia; in or overseas.
You dont have to be wounded in action or become the holder of a distinctive decoration, you may be a non combatant in a designated war zone, and of course you must be an Australian citizen at the time of qualification and at the time of the receipt of the award and more than 72 years of age.
I am a ex British serviceman who served in the British Navy for nearly four years during WW2, Korea and middle east conflicts.
Based in Sydney Australia during WW2, the last nine months was spent at sea in the Pacific serving with Australians and the United States forces until the surrender of Japan.
At the end of hostilities, a vast number of British servicemen stayed on in Australia, some illegally I am told, most of whom became Australian citizens, some for nearly sixty years.
Myself, well I being a career Navy man, I was unable to return to Australia until 25 years later.
My main concern is for those British men who have given their all for this country and consider their home to be Australia, Some of these old guys really need this entitlement as much or in some cases more than some of the healthy looking true blue Dinky di Aussies, maybe its more important that an OZ vet gets a new set of gnashers and a face lift due to the sun than an even older ex Brit guy needing a knee replacement. An Australian friend told me he arrived in New Guinea just as the war ended and had to wait several years to see his first Japanese, A tourist in Sydney, good old Al gets the gold card for that overseas holiday, however, most of those vets who served in New Guinea deserve a heap of respect and much more than a bloody Gold card.
I am uncertain as to when this Gold Card was first awarded, however, to my knowledge; it was certanly not around even when I returned to Australia in Aug 1971 and it could not have been one of the many incentives to persuade me to return here. I did not have to rely on charity on my arrival here, my family and I had enough funds to purchase a residence, also a steady income from England, in fact 60% of our income is sourced from the U/K. I have never drawn any Dole payments.
FAQ " Why do other commonwealth citizens ie British not recieve the gold card" ? "answer, I believe its just the rules you know".
In other words it is blatant discrimination, there can be no possible excuse. The costing would be minimal compared to some of the present governments grants to arts weirdo's and other bludging work shy organizations, unnecessary overseas aid and the constant wasteful updating of those outdated Collins Class Submarines, Or the money could be well spent updating the salaries and pensions of some of our more notable Chicken Hawks who escaped overseas during the time Australia was at war, like Malcolm Frazer who became PM by default, our present PM little John, and of course Billy Bunter- Alex Downer Our Foriegn Minister.
The likes of those blokes will have a Gold Card in every pocket.
More to come in my next post. VEST DAILY GAGGLE.


Saturday Sept 10; "THE FAB FOUR" Best band on the circuit, great stuff, Always TEN OUT OF TEN.
Sunday Sept 11."RAGGEDY AN" Duo. Come again, An EIGHT point FIVE.

VEST Daily Gaggle.

Friday, 5 August 2005


While engaged in domestic chores in the back garden, Aug 2, I sliced the webbing between my left forefinger and thumb. The deep cut produced about half an armful of blood and the missus freaked out when she SAW it, however, the missus has recovered from the shock.
Incidently, my left hand is expected to be fully recovered within a week from now; when the Doc will remove the needle-work, meanwhile I am typing at 5 wpm on right hand drive.
Expressions of sympathy will be warmly welcomed.
Vest, Daily Gaggle.

Monday, 1 August 2005

ROAD RAGE: THE SOLUTION. Vest says, STAY COOL, or what is your method for dealing with the problem.

I have recently read a post on 'The Zombie Slayers Blog Spot' which relates to this problem and readers comments suggesting remedies to curb the violence which unfortunately occurs too frequently during road rage situations.
Bloggers ; please feel free to comment, any suggestions that may antagonize the problem such as; smash his/her head in with your club lock will be carefully scrutinised and be possibly deleted.

Bloggers are reminded, that J L Spencers book 'Waving Goodbye To A Thousand Flies' at US/$21-95 Would make a great Christmas present, or you could be real mean and keep it for yourself. click on the logo or email me for more details,

Thursday, 30 June 2005


FIRST OF ALL WE CELEBBRATE THE QUEENS BIRTHDAY on the WRONG DAY. The second Monday in June. The Queens birthday is actually the 21st day in April.

SECONDLY THE BRITISH REMEMBER THE FALLEN IN WAR on the nearest sunday to the eleventh day of November. Is this in order to eliminate the workforce from indulging in yet another public holiday on REMEMBRANCE DAY. NOV 11

YESTERDAY Wednesday 29 June 2005. THE BRITISH STARTED THE 200th ANNIVERSARY OF THE (Sea) BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR CELEBRATIONS. ( Admiral Horatio Nelson and the HM SHIP of the line HMS VICTORY, currently preserved in dry dock in Portsmouth England and aged about 240 years, being the main attraction, together with a large contingent of British Commonwealth and visiting foreign Warships). The problem is, myself not being dimwitted as their Lords and Commissioners of the Admiralty(M O D: NAVY) seem to be, would like to point out that, the BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR WAS FOUGHT ON; THE TWENTY FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER 1805. Incidently; it was on a MONDAY, not on a Wednesday.
Admiral Horatio Nelsons Flag signal at the yard arm read(I believe this is close to being correct)
"TODAY ENGLAND EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN WILL DO HIS DUTY" . Admiral Horatio Nelson died during the course of the battle.

Tuesday, 28 June 2005


Our ship and crew sailed north to the conflict in company of a vast number of other warships on Feb 28 1945. The period of three months involving operation 'Iceberg' which included eight weeks of continual contact with the enemy and lesser periods of involvement, near places like Okinawa 'The big one', on all fools day April 1, Easter Sunday 1945, where American forces landed and other places like Ishigaki, Myako shima and Sakashima gunto.
In my precarious, unenviable action station on the air defence position, I could see Kamikases galore. on many occasions, the brown trouser situation seemed imminent, but I was convinced that I was far too young to die; there were far too many more exciting things for me to achieve before that happened.
After leaving the operational area, we called into the U S A base at Guam in the Marianas. With us Were our escorting destroyers, The HM Ships Troubridge , Tenacious and Termagent. The crews enjoyed the shore recreational facilities and three cans of free beer, one or two beers were usually enough for me.
Lying at anchor close by was the USS Battleship Missouri. The crew of this great ship were surprised that our ship did not carry amenities such as Coca Cola and ice cream, so the American fleet soon rectfied this problem. The Battleship HMS King George V, became the first British warship to have an ice cream machine.
Our ship then sailed for Sydney Australia on the 30 May and arrived Tues June 5; for 3 weeks R and R and replenish our stores and ammunition. The war was soon to end.
Of course I have my own opinion regarding the use of the atomic bombs which decided the end of hostilities, during Operation 'Iceberg' over a quarter of a million civilians and Japanese, American and British Commonwealth servicemen lost their lives, prior to Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It is sad that the innocent have to suffer for the immoralities of war.The millions of us who survived ww2 owe our lives to the clear sighted wisdom of the allied leaders in Washington and Whitehall who understood the jungle of problems to be faced and left the moralistic chuntering to those lost in the woods.
Our ship and others returned to the conflict up north June 28 45. Few people knew until much later that on July 16 (my 19th Birthday) the first Atomic test took place in the New Mexico Desert, also on this same date the British Pacific Fleet came under the direct control of the American fleet Commander. I believe this was due to a logistical support problem, the details I am not privy to, a good guess would be that us Brits had sort of 'run out of gas' as we were being refuelled at sea by American tankers.
I must mention here that the last warship of battleship class to fire an angry shot in wartime was HMS King George V in the afternoon of VJ day a few hours after the cease fire.
During the final days of the war against Japan KGV was involved with other ships( mostly American) that were bombarding the coast of Japan. On one particular night, one of our 'B' turret guns malfunctioned and only loaded the full charge without the 17cwt shell, in the confusion the gun fired and the full charge provided the best firework display ever, pieces of burning cordite in the thousands stuck to every one and anything in range burning decks and paintwork, trying to remove the burning cordite from my action overalls it burned through the anti flash gear I was wearing to prevent such burns.
Later on our journey back to Sydney , sailors were employed to Patch up burnt paintwork , the burns on the decks were rubbed down with pumice blocks called holy stones, the larger blocks were called Bibles!!
HMS King GeogeV, was the 2nd British ship to enter Tokyo, there was much dissension when HMS Duke Of York entered first, as it had only just arrived from Sydney where it had been swinging around a bouy for several months and had not fired one angry shot, the senior Admiral Bruce Fraser was the CinC in his nice shiny ship, so our vice Admiral Bernard Rawlings and our crew took second billing. So being a great surviver from other minor conflicts too, and being a gunnery man during my career, I feel it is fair to say the sight of guns and the stink of gunpowder and cordite really fails to turn me on. AVAGDAY ZS.

Thursday, 16 June 2005


The list of damaged property seems endless, more than a dozen forms of multiple destruction. should we allow this needless tempestuos dissident crazy mob to ride rough shod over us, I THINK NOT! Will you WIMP this out or have your say?

Monday, 13 June 2005

Australian Values differ from those of our neighbour Indonesia

Chapelle Corby, The 27 year old Australian beauty consultant,Will be incarcerated in a Indonesian prison for the next 20 years, for allegedly smuggling 4.5 kilos of Marijuana.
Corby will receive no special privileges apart from comfort gifts of food and personal items. It is not expected that, the Australian Govt will assist Corby, or interfere in the case.

A un-named Indonesian drug offender, serving 4 years in a Australian prison for a similar offence, has been afforded the privilege of 'Day Release', so that he is able to earn aprox Aus$400-00 per week to enable to him to support his Indonesian dependants.

The Senior Indonesian Judge responsible for the conviction of Corby, is paid a salary To the equivalent of Aus$7,000-00 per Ann.

A Single Australian Male; Dole Recipient,is awarded the equivalent of Aus$12,500-00 Per Ann. for doing absolutely sod all.

The Indonesian Prisoner In Australia on day release earns the equivalent of Aus$20,800-00 per Ann.

Now this info is available in Indonesia, We can now expect a plethora of Indo drug courier zombies arriving in OZ to enjoy the good life.

Wednesday, 1 June 2005


The Book by the well known Author 'JOHN LEONARD SPENCER, Titled ' WAVING GOODBYE TO A THOUSAND FLIES'; Has spawned a great deal of interest in the term ' Wobblies', used frequently by a charactor in his book, when describing Ladies breasts or what was, as the new cult followers state; were once referred to as TITs And other common names.
JOHN LEONARD SPENCER, is now promoting his book on this site.
EXCERPTS from his book may be read by clicking on the book Cover image.
Some excerpts referring to the term wobblies are as follows.

Bob then continued saying " Uncle Albert had described me as an unusual sort, who had not only a fetish , but a gourmet attitude whe it came to to ladie's Wobblies.

We had a different conductor on the bus on the way home, he was more considerate than the other conductor who objected to my groping Emily's wobblies, and suggested I share my coat with the young lady who was asleep and shivering. I then removed my warm hand from my glove and caressed her Wobblies, which brought a beautiful smile to Emily's face.

It was rather dark in the cinema, Emily kissed me full on and placed my hand on her left Wobbly, for an almost sixteen year old this was fun.

I have read this book and thoroughly recommend it, worth re- reading, some parts more than just twice. Well, what are you waiting for, get it now, Its hot.

Saturday, 21 May 2005

Zachary Rogers has arrived in the World

The reason for this Happy announcement is, because I am Zachary's Great grand Uncle.
Congratulations to Louise and Simon

Sunday, 15 May 2005


A Wild West U/S Town was in a pre election frenzy. The two main Antagonists were a Democrat(labor) bloke wearing red and the republican (conservative) in blue.
Rolling into town was the Medicine man with his horse and cart.
Both political candidates challenged the medicine man on the validity of his claim, that, his Blue and Red medicines cured certain types of illness at differing times of the year.
He Stated. The Red medicine was made from the bark at the top of the LACITILOP tree at the height of summer. The Blue Medicine was made from the bark at the bottom of the LACITILOP tree during the depths of winter.
These medications are very similar to those you pollies propose to inflict on the general public, during your pathetic efforts to cure the financial woes of the state.
But the truth is, MR RED if you allow him, will skin you from the earholes down.
MR BLUE I am certain, will skin you from the toe nails upward.

Tuesday, 10 May 2005

GOOD NEWS....THIS IS THE NEWS WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR......I Would like to hear that..the P M Gay..really?..Wow..or P K .. the LIZARD of OZ

Of course this is a matter of opinion, I would prefer to hear he was lost in the amazon jungle without hope of rescue.

Remember : Your Good News Wish must be sensational or controversial..... no lotto dreams.....Babies .....Weddings ..... or death wishes. VENT YOUR SPLEEN RIGHT HERE.... NOW!!

Monday, 9 May 2005


This may not be important to most people.
However, To my friends and associates of the HMS King George V Assoc,
FREDERICK HALLIDAY (FRED) was a real Friend, a Mate and pleasant to the extreme, who will be sorely missed by us, and most of all by Freds dear lady Betty, to whom on behalf of the assoc, we send our deepest condolences.
I first met Fred when he was stoking the donkey boiler (Hot water supply) on the jetty at Liverpool England, when our ship the large Battleship HMS King George V was refitting while in the dry dock.
It was during WW2, when most of us were just young boys on joining the ship, but matured to the extreme by the end of hostilities. Most had served three or more years in the Royal Navy and by then had reached the ripe old ages between nineteen and twenty two. I joined at 15 and 5 months on 7-1- 42.
Many years later an association was formed in Australia by former crew members of this famous ship that served with distinction both in Europe and in the Pacific areas of conflict.
Several calls into Sydney for replenishment and r&r became the motivation for members of the crew to migrate to Australia.
It was in 1998 that I was contacted, and after a gap of 53 years became re-introduced to several ex ship mates; some whom I recognised immediately, Fred was one of them. At that time there were about 35 ex crew living in Australia (at least) but an estimation put the original number to exceed 100 or 7% of the original crew. Sadly as I write we are only able to muster 22 members, widows boost our numbers of the assoc to around 50.
There were an estimated 47,000 navy persons serving in the Pacific fleet alone, that could possibly indicate using 7% as a guide, 3,500 may have returned to Australia.
Why did we return? you may well ask, the answer is simply, that, Australia is a beautiful country, Lets all keep it that way.
Vale Fred.

Monday, 2 May 2005



Junk Mail Help: When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these 'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage- paid envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular postage 'If ' and when they receive them back.
It costs them nothing if you throw them away, but the postage charges increase according to weight, so in that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it into these cool postage return envelopes.
ANOTHER GREAT IDEA is: Send an ad for your local plumber or chimney cleaner to American Express and a Pizza coupon with the assortment of supermarket gunge to Citybank. if you become over loaded with junk mail, stuff it in an old large used envelope and stick their return paid envelope to it.
If you wish to remain anonymous, make sure your name is not on anything you return.
The banks and credit card companies are currently getting back a lot of their junk by mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Lets let them know what its like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they will be paying for it...Twice!.
Let's help keep the postal services busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that is why they need to increase postage costs again.
If enough people follow these tips it will work.

Sunday, 1 May 2005


Patronage of the HALEKULANI Bowling Club, has in the past attracted persons of mature age in the main, and mature age memberships will continue to assist the club in its operations, while the elderly continue to retire in the area.
However, it seems the HALEKULANI Bowlo is intent on self destruction, and without the help of the present downturn in club finances; due to the excessive pokie tax imposed by our state Govt.
Mainly on a Friday evening, patronage is sometimes that poor in the entertainment (dance) area, that ten fingers are enough to count the audience.
There are many excuses for this sort of occurrence offered by the club management, but none that add up.
The main reason for this phenomenon is the reappearance of bands or artiste's who fail to impress their audiences time after time, so the punters become really pissed off and trot off to Doylo Rissole or the Budgie roundball Club, so at the the end of the nights booze up they spend more on the plonk as these clubs Who charge like wounded bulls compared to the HALEKULANI but, they go home having enjoyed their evening out.
Last nights entertainment,30-4-05 was a classic example the band "Well Swung" has performed here before; four or five times at least but their attendance figures are falling and most people brave enough to risk deafness in later years were younger loonies oblivious to the dangers who were mainly band followers. The noise factor was so intense that most punters were seated far away from the band as possible. the brash mind bending inane deafening crap spewed out left about twenty per cent of the original audience in attendance at around 10-30 pm. The band would be more suited to a Potfest venue in a Bogville rural paddock. I,like many other members, will not watch bilge like this.
Members on line: Watch this post for crap entertainment to be avoided occasionally.

Saturday, 30 April 2005

THE TELEMARKETING SOLUTION. Three little words that work !! "HOLD ON PLEASE"

(1) The three little words are "Hold On Please...." Saying this,while putting down the telephone and walking off(instead of hanging up immediately)would make each telemarketing call so much more time consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
These three little words will help to eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2)Do you receive ANNOYING PHONE CALLS with no one on the other end ?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes telephone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This ruse is used to determine the best time for a Real sales person to call back. What you can do after answering.If you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # Button on the phone 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible.This confuses the machine and removes your number from their system, 'What a shame'.
How do you deal with Annoying telephone calls?

Wednesday, 20 April 2005


If you are told not to walk across the paddock wearing a red shirt and get gored by the bull in doing so, you are an IDIOT.
Put your head in a Lions mouth or stand in the middle of the freeway in dense fog or put your goolies under the office guillotine to check it out, you are an IDIOT.
It is no less stupid; especially after being constantly warned of the severe penalties available to Loonies who are less intelligent than a sniffer dog, to go to a foriegn country and attempt to smuggle drugs either in or out, with the prospect of a mandatory death sentence being imposed if apprehended. So you are smart and get through one end of the journey, well there is another search at the other end. Maybe you will get away with it the first time, but not always, soon you will become careless and be caught.
So if you are travelling with drugs in your possession you become a danger to yourself as well as others. I am not in favour of capital punishment, however a sound thrashing periodically administered with a large rattan cane to perpetrators of these crimes while serving a minimum sentence of Five to Ten years; could become a possible deterrent, this punishment should be shown on the television with full sound effects as a deterrent too.
However, if you are an IDIOT pot smoker and suffering ill effects by doing so, I hope your suffering becomes worse. For those on the more expensive habits and contemplating an O D, hurry up, we can't wait to get rid of you.
A re introduction of the stocks and pillory, displaying offenders in public places may also be a great Idea.

Monday, 4 April 2005

Ill timed Annoying Television Advertising

My Family sit down to dinner-tea -whatever around 5-6pm. To keep talk to the minimum we watch free to air news on the TV- Puctuated by irritating adverts which neither amuse or hold our attention. Our Favourite Disgusting mealtime advert is about the Smelly yellow diseased large toenail which opens up along with its accompanying chatter about smelly fungi and microbes. The equal favourite, is the Pensioners Insurance lady, who gabbles on like a Spanish-fishwife, without coming up for air. Or what is your favourite advert that has you sending missiles flying at the telly.

Saturday, 2 April 2005

Dozing DODDering Judges In Dreamland

Doddering dozing dreadfully incompetant judges making decisions, or passing judgement on court proceedings that they have little if any; inkling of.
Apparently there have been many occasions where Judges - Magistrates and the like have been seen to nod off during court proceedings and then passing judgement.
Surely the public should not have to put up with this sort of behaviour, and if proven the crown(Govt) should be made liable to bear all costs of a further hearing.
Are we sliding back to the hanging Judge Jeffries and Drunken Judge Adv Bowyer-Akins style of justice.

Tuesday, 29 March 2005


Here we go again. People griping and whining about speeding ..parking and other fines, common to brainless drivers in charge of petrol propelled misssiles who deserve what they cop,
and should they complain be charged double.
A bit draconian you might say, 'I think not', These loonies are the main cause of the carnage on our roads and deserve all what' coming to them.
While driving for an hour along the F3 Freeway on the 17th March 05, my passenger recorded 83 incidents of vehicles speeding 5kph beyond the set limit some more than 10kph over the limit.
My advice to you leadfoots is : Simply leave for your destination earlier than your usual time, slow down, notice the look of relief on your passengers faces as they eye the scenary, instead of the white knuckled look of fear when you drove like a dickhead.
It is my personal view repeat offenders should be flogged in public, or their vehicle impounded or both. VEST.

Wednesday, 23 March 2005

Apes, some endangered species.Or are Afro kids more important.

Apes: Why should G R A S P grab the funds of well meaning Ape sympathisers, who are targeting the public in order to support the people who in turn give assistance to the various types of dwindling Ape populations on mother earth. Why not, you might say.
Well I think not! with reservations of course. Those kind hearted people presently involved are doing a good job, No doubt about that, how far from extinction are they in their rapidly diminishing rain forests? could they be relocated to other rain forest areas like in Australia, unlikely, might be the reply from the immigration dept, If they tend to be more human than other animals repeat animals it would not be long before they claimed social security benefits like havent we got enough bone idle apes on the dole already.
Would they assimulate into our suburban population and become model citizens?
If so, what particular suburb would you recommend they be directed to,like, Appin or chimpindale or maybe they would be happy in Foresville, they have lots of silver tails there who would find mateship with a few silver back Gorillas rewarding.
Or, forget this hotchpotch and direct all available assistance to our own species, the hordes of starving children in war torn African countries.
Whatever you decide, do it by opening your purse or wallet, make a real decision.


Other blogs have recently been inundated with misc crap relating to big ears and his horse, this is slightly different. Hopefully, as the pollies say this may keep you amused, especially some of you bone idle sods on the dole, lazing around, "Go on, Get your self a job". Anyhow i'll need an explanation from you, telling me why you had time to waste to enter the 'Limerick Competition' First Prize a self funded back packer holiday in Somalia. So here we go you Miltons Grays and Kiplings, remember, No dunny doggeral, like "One would think with all this wit etc" Remember, only five line limerick poems only, depicting the nuptials of Chas and Cam. Now get on with.

Kiss a non Smoker and Taste the Difference.

What happened to the slogan Kiss a non smoker and taste the difference. Did some tobacco company buy the copyright and ban its publication? If so what about a new slogan!! remember the kids will have to see it too.
My partner and myself are non smokers and only experience this dreadful thing at pissy-arsed social gatherings.
What have you experienced when kissing a tobacco smoker? be careful now.
What are your thoughts on tobacco usage in general? like,Ban them, ration them or tax them into oblivion or wear a non smokers badge which states: "Blow that shit in my face and you will die you bastard".
Remember you dopey smokers, It will reduce your shagging days considerably and each fag an hour of your life.
Or should they be fitted with chimneys?

Scumbag Cricketers

So why do we have to put up with watching our favourite sports people displaying them selves like drunken ape like louts at a Barry Dogshead afternoon Barby.
The crabby appearance of our nose picking, unshaven crutch scratching Oz Cricketers, who cheat like the blazes, even though being assumed as the best in the world, but I am not too sure about that.
Why refer to them as sporting Heros. I think not, that is bullshite.
Hardly a life threatening dying for your country situation, maybe for their opponents, when that dunny sized blonde weetbix munching dicko loses his cool.
I believe they are a bunch of arrogant actors-well paid icons. nothing else.
Are they worse than the other teams of flanneled fools?
Are Oz umpires cheating our opponents? I think so.
I believe the pommies are nice well bred players. What say you old chappie?
Where is the Wankhede Cricket stadium? Did Robbo once say, dunno I fink they all are?

Introduction to Daily Gaggle

Good morning to you all on this wet and windy day on the Central Coast of N S W Australia.
This blog is not intended for the overheated super educated persons, whose main intent is to impress us with their glossary of alternate words and expressions which tend to become meaningless to normal average people. I will not be impressed by inane one word stupid comments. You may use clear precise philistinic grammar. but keep it readable, for the masses. Overdone obscene statements may be deleted.

Vest Has Left the Building

To advise that Vest (Les Bowyer) passed away this morning. Regards, Chris (Son).