WORDS ON WEDNES DAY.

                                         Words This week are supplied By Elephants Child.

                                       They are. Body, Night, Black , Cry, Water and Action.

This story is based on a true incident happening overnight within our household.

   I was awakened during the *night about 4 AM by a strange noise which was followed and a *cry of 'Oh No' from my son. Following a visit to the loo, I drank half of the *water from the covered glass by my bedside; My *body now refreshed, I tiptoed down the hall to see that all the lights were on in the family room and my son sitting among the numerous parts of the large exercise bike which had been delivered in a large box the day before.
 The main colour of this contraption was *black with chrome and red instruction panels. however, there were so many parts to the F er blessed thing which had to be assembled and knowing my sons bent for procrastination, despite his aptitude for fixing things, I was fearful of it ever being put together, so on leaving him to his misery, I toddled off to bed.
I was eventually awake at 8 30am but kept clear of him while he muttered and sighed during the *action-packed construction of this Oriental masterpiece. Notwithstanding the fact it may have originated from WuHan which was a worry - although he told me he sprayed the box with quality Woolies disinfectant.
After seven and a half hours this piece of oriental wizardry was ready for *action, it looks quite impressive, and should help my son in his search for weight loss. However, using it for two minutes left me exhausted.
 

SHARING.

   Christine. ...Dover U/K said...

Sharing

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.


He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.


He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.


Obviously, they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'


As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything


People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.


Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'


Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'


She answered --


'THE TEETH.'

ANZAC Day

EASY QUIZ (For Beginners.)

                                               Easy Quiz for beginners.

Quest 1. Name all four British Batchelor Prime Ministers Or any?

Ans. Spencer Compton, 1674-1743. William Pitt The younger,1759- 1806. Arther Balfour. PM 1902-1905. Edward Heath  PM 1970-1974.

Quest 2. Who was the first female Prime Minister in the World?

Ans. Sirimavo Bandaranaike, 1960. Born 1916 Died 2000.

Quest 3. Who was the last Prime Minister of Southern Rhodesia?
Ans. Ian Smith.

Quest 4. Who was the last Governor-General of Nth Rhodesia and Nyasaland?

Ans. Sir Roy Welensky.

Quest 5. Who was the first person to leave or disembark from the RMS Titanic on leaving Southampton on her maiden voyage?

Ans. George Bowyer, the Southampton pilot.

Quest 6. Who was the British Navy Captain who lost a leg during the final battle of Ushant in 1794

and has a Pub in Radley Oxfordshire ( His final residence) named after him?

Ans. Rear Admiral George Bowyer.

Quest 7. Famous writer biblical title. My father a Chinese Singaporean doctor and mother English.

Psuedo name and birth name, please?

Ans. 'The Saint'.Leslie Charteris. Birth name- Leslie Charles Bowyer -Ying. Born in 1904.

Quest 8. Who was the first Judge Advocate of Parramatta? An unpleasant person to say the least.

Ans. Richard Bowyer. Ex cashiered and demoted adjutant of the IOM corps, 5th son of Sir William Bowyer of 'Denham Court Buckinghamshire' Adopted by Lord Atkins who tired of him - eventually sent him to the colony of NSW AUS.

Quest 9. Vests Full name?

Ans. Leslie John Bowyer.

Quest 10 Weapon making artisans, who were excused fighting. (Going back a bit) several?
Ans. Fletchers, Arrowsmiths, and of course Bowyers who made the Long Bow.

Quest 11. Unscramble these letters (MISUO) to discover the local name for its country in Europe?
Ans. SUOMI. The country is Finland.

Quest 12. What Cheese is made backwards?
Ans. EDAM cheese (Red wax outer cover).

Quest 13. Britain had three politicians in the 1940s serving at the same time who were leaders of the Conservative, Liberal and Labour parties. within their families, there were similar both male and female given names  2 male and 1 female. Full names, please.
Ans. Clementine Churchill. Clement Attlee and Clement Davies.

Quest 14. MCMXLV, RANI.?
Ans. 1945 Dec start of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race. 39-foot sloop  Rani; Skippered by John Illingworth, Capt RN. The winner in six days.

Quest 15. What happened in Great Britain on Trafalgar day in 1966?
Ans. OCT 21st Trafalgar day was lost to a far more important happening, A disaster in the Welsh mining village of Aberfan. Google 'Aberfan Disaster' for more info.

Thank you to those eggheads who tried.


                                               ................................
email your answers.

No excuses this time, these are simple Questions for ten-year-olds. Answers by  Tuesday 28- April.

Answers to Quiz.

  Do you believe you are smarter than most people, well get stuck into this SIMPLE Quiz? The only failures will be those who do not try to reply.

Quest One (A).  My present country was formed by adding two adjoining countries  during the 1950s
Name and date. The answer - Ghana, 6-3-57.
                  (B).  Who became head of state in this new country? The answer, Kwame Nkrumah.

Quest Two. What are the main sheets in a sailing boat? The answer,  Ropes.

Quest Three. What are the dividing walls on a ship called? The answer, Bulwarks.

Quest Four. What is or was an iron holed Spherical Ball used for? The answer,  They slide along the Flinders Bar on a magnetic compass to correct the variation and deviation of the compass.

Quest Five. What was the nationality of the person responsible for the birth of the port of Kamchatka? The answer, Vitus Bering. Danish, Joined Russian Navy about 1728, he built staging posts from Western Russia to the Eastern Seaboard of Asia. Read about it.

Quest Six. Where would you find Gab Gab Beach? The answer.  I found it on 27 May 1945 , In Guam  In the Mariana Islands in the Pacific Ocean. WW2

Quest Seven. What are the seats on a boat called? The answer, Thwarts. Pronounced - Thoughts.

Quest Eight. On the USA and British naval ships, the after(Stern) upper deck have differing titles. Name them. The answer. Fantail USA, and Quarter deck for British.

Quest Nine. What measurement is 1,800 Meters or Metres in length? The answer. A Metric Nautical mile. , The standard Nautical mile is 2000 yards

Quest Ten. What is the total distance of length when adding the following (Non-metric lengths) of
2 Leagues, 3 Furlongs, 4 chains, 5 Yards, and Six Fathoms? The answer. 2 leagues = 6 miles. + 3 furlongs = 660 yards, + 4 Chains = 88 yards.  Add 5 Yards.  and finally, six Fathoms = 12 yards. The Total being, 6 miles and 765 yards, or 10.35558 Kilometers.

  Answers will be revealed on Tuesday, April 21. 2020.

 Vest. Daily Gaggle.
The British Queen will turn 94 years today. I shall also in another 86 days. We both have functioning noddles.

A bit of Narcissistic arrogance goes a long way down.

1964 – HMS Maryland – The Bathythermograph (Dip)
Our ship was in the West Indies in an area referred to as the Bermuda Triangle. This had no bearing on this ship’s incident unless of course, this peculiar geographical area plus his boozing. had affected the thinking of the oceanography expert on board, a certain Commander ‘No Name.’ Who made a drunken appearance on a quiet Sunday afternoon. This person had ordered me to prepare to do a deep bathy dip while I was in charge of the watch on deck. Knowing the implications of this order if it was carried out, I sent a message to the officer of the watch on the bridge. I tried to explain to the Commander that the wire was not long enough, but was told “Don’t argue. Do it.” At that moment, I applied the secret lower deck laws Numbers One and Two to myself. The commander then ordered the bathy to be set at a depth many fathoms further than the length of the wire. Then, when given the order, I directed an able seaman to 'let go.' The Commander gave me a quizzical look when I waved and quietly said goodbye to the bathy. Many witnesses to the wash-up were on my side. The loss of the bathy cost many thousands of pounds. Our Captain wasn’t amused, but I was secretly delighted!

 At Charleston, South Carolina I went ashore as the ship’s ‘Limey’ representative of the U.S. Navy shore patrol. During a discussion, an American officer asked me why I pronounced the rank of lieutenant as ‘leftenant’ and not ‘lootenant.’ “Both spell lieutenant" I replied. “But our pronunciation doesn’t infer they live in lavatories.” Later we attended a domestic dispute inside of a trailer park that housed married U.S. Navy personnel. When we arrived, a very angry person with a shotgun fired at us, shattering the windshield of our truck. The driver then backed up and the police were called. When I arrived back on board my ship, I was asked, “How did things go?” I replied, “It was a very quiet evening, according to the Yanks.”

From Memoirs. Vest Daily Gaggle.

A general knowledge Quiz.

  Do you believe you are smarter than most people, well get stuck into this SIMPLE Quiz? The only failures will be those who do not try to reply.

Quest One (A).  My present country was formed by adding two adjoining countries  during the 1950s
Name and date.
                  (B).  Who became head of state in this new country?

Quest Two. What are the main sheets in a sailing boat?

Quest Three. What are the dividing walls on a ship called?

Quest Four. What is or was an iron holed Spherical Ball used for?

Quest Five. What was the nationality of the person responsible for the birth of the port of Kamchatka?

Quest Six. Where would you find Gab Gab Beach?

Quest Seven. What are the seats on a boat called?

Quest Eight. On the USA and British naval ships, the after(Stern) upper deck have differing titles. Name them.

Quest Nine. What measurement is 1,800 Meters or Metres in length?

Quest Ten. What is the total distance of length when adding the following (Non-metric lengths) of
2 Leagues, 3 Furlongs, 4 chains, 5 Yards, and Six Fathoms?

During the present lockdown conditions, you will have more time to to get stuck into these Questions. Get to it.  Answers will be revealed on Tuesday, April 21.

 Vest. Daily Gaggle. 

The Rainbow Bridge, Remembering Lucky our pet Cockatiel.

            There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of all its beautiful colours.

              Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge,
 There is a land of meadows,
 hills and valleys with lush green grass.
When a beloved pet dies, your pet goes to this place.
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.

Here old and frail animals are made young again.
Those who were sick, hurt or in pain are made whole again.
There is only one thing missing,

They are not with their special person who loved them so much on earth.
So each day they run  fly and play until the day comes
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up!
The nose twitches! The ears are up!
The eyes are staring and this one runs from the group!
You have been seen. and when you and your special friend meet,
you take her in your arms and hug her.
She pecks and kisses your face again and again -
and you look once more into the eyes of your best friend and trusting
pet.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together never again to be apart.

Memories.Words on Wednesday

                                     Warning sensitive wording.
 Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ‘Bona Fide Natives.’ KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ‘Gut’, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ‘QE’, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ‘dghaisa’ (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if I’d had a good time, I replied, “My bloody oath, I did.” “Well, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commander’s defaulters table tomorrow,” he replied. I was quickly learning about what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven days’ stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ‘The Sugar Bar.’) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when we were *Out of the frying pan and into the fire. when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered.
Alexandria, Egypt
Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the ship’s motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ‘Alex,’ was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty postcards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ‘The Naughty Countess’ was one and the other, ‘The Autobiography of a Flea.’ The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFO’s (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, “It is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the internationally-acclaimed donkey, ‘Lord Hee Whore’ aged fifty-one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egypt”. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, “Cor blimey! That bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.”

e weekend, if the weather was favourable, people would visit the ship. The boat deck area was the chosen place for many romantic interludes. A naval ëblind eyeí was turned when it came to this sort of activity. Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ëBona Fide Natives.í KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ëGutí, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ëQEí, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ëdghaisaí (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if Iíd had a good time, I replied, ìMy bloody oath, I did.î ìWell, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commanderís defaulters table tomorrow,î he replied. I was quickly learning about

HMS King George V 72 ñ Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven daysí stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ëThe Sugar Bar.í) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered. Alexandria, Egypt Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the shipís motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ëAlex,í was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ëThe Naughty Countessí was one and the other, ëThe Autobiography of a Flea.í The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFOís (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, ìIt is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the

HMS King George V John Leonard Spencer ñ 73 internationally acclaimed donkey, ëLord Hee Whoreí aged fifty one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egyptî. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, ìCor blimey! That bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.î e weekend, if the weather was favourable, people would visit

the ship. The boat deck area was the chosen place for many romantic interludes. A naval ëblind eyeí was turned when it came to this sort of activity. Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ëBona Fide Natives.í KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ëGutí, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ëQEí, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ëdghaisaí (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if Iíd had a good time, I replied, ìMy bloody oath, I did.î ìWell, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commanderís defaulters table tomorrow,î he replied. I was quickly learning about

e weekend, if the weather was favourable, people would visit the ship. The boat deck area was the chosen place for many romantic interludes. A naval ëblind eyeí was turned when it came to this sort of activity. Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ëBona Fide Natives.í KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ëGutí, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ëQEí, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ëdghaisaí (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if Iíd had a good time, I replied, ìMy bloody oath, I did.î ìWell, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commanderís defaulters table tomorrow,î he replied. I was quickly learning about

HMS King George V 72 ñ Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven daysí stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ëThe Sugar Bar.í) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered. Alexandria, Egypt Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the shipís motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ëAlex,í was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ëThe Naughty Countessí was one and the other, ëThe Autobiography of a Flea.í The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFOís (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, ìIt is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the

HMS King George V John Leonard Spencer ñ 73 internationally acclaimed donkey, ëLord Hee Whoreí aged fifty one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egyptî. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, ìCor blimey! That

bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.î e weekend, if the weather was favourable, people would visit

the ship. The boat deck area was the chosen place for many romantic interludes. A naval ëblind eyeí was turned when it came to this sort of activity. Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ëBona Fide Natives.í KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ëGutí, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ëQEí, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ëdghaisaí (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if Iíd had a good time, I replied, ìMy bloody oath, I did.î ìWell, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commanderís defaulters table tomorrow,î he replied. I was quickly learning about

HMS King George V 72 ñ Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven daysí stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ëThe Sugar Bar.í) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered. Alexandria, Egypt Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the shipís motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ëAlex,í was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ëThe Naughty Countessí was one and the other, ëThe Autobiography of a Flea.í The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFOís (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, ìIt is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the

HMS King George V John Leonard Spencer ñ 73 internationally acclaimed donkey, ëLord Hee Whoreí aged fifty one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egyptî. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, ìCor blimey! That

bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.î e weekend, if the weather was favourable, people would visit

the ship. The boat deck area was the chosen place for many romantic interludes. A naval ëblind eyeí was turned when it came to this sort of activity. Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ëBona Fide Natives.í KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ëGutí, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ëQEí, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ëdghaisaí (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if Iíd had a good time, I replied, ìMy bloody oath, I did.î ìWell, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commanderís defaulters table tomorrow,î he replied. I was quickly learning about

HMS King George V 72 ñ Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven daysí stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ëThe Sugar Bar.í) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered. Alexandria, Egypt Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the shipís motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ëAlex,í was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ëThe Naughty Countessí was one and the other, ëThe Autobiography of a Flea.í The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFOís (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, ìIt is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the

HMS King George V John Leonard Spencer ñ 73 internationally acclaimed donkey, ëLord Hee Whoreí aged fifty one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egyptî. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, ìCor blimey! That

bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.î e weekend, if the weather was favourable, people would visit

the ship. The boat deck area was the chosen place for many romantic interludes. A naval ëblind eyeí was turned when it came to this sort of activity. Late in 1944, HMS King George V moved to Devonport for fourteen-inch gun calibration plus seven days leave for our crew. Then the ship sailed up to Greenock, Scotland, where we ammunitioned ship and took on stores. The British Monarch, King George VI, with Queen Elizabeth, Princess Elizabeth (who is now the present Queen), Princess Margaret, and the Deputy Prime Minister, Clement Attlee visited the ship. We properly trained young seamen formed the guard of honour. I have nothing much to say about Greenock, as no one was allowed ashore except ëBona Fide Natives.í KGV sailed for the Far East on 29 October 1944. Our first port of call was Gibraltar, mainly to take on fuel. Our next port of call was Malta, GC, where something definitely went wrong. There was plenty of activity ashore, mainly in the area called the ëGutí, Strata Stretta, or Straight Street, which was full of bawdy houses, bars and eateries. At one of the bars called the ëQEí, Bobby and Sugar, two Spanish dancers, strutted their stuff. I returned on board ship with other sailors in a ëdghaisaí (a Maltese one-man rowing boat, similar to a gondola.) My run ashore cost me a torn shirt, my cap, and a shoe. When asked by the duty officer if Iíd had a good time, I replied, ìMy bloody oath, I did.î ìWell, young lad, you can swear on oath at the Commanderís defaulters table tomorrow,î he replied. I was quickly learning about

HMS King George V 72 ñ Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven daysí stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ëThe Sugar Bar.í) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered. Alexandria, Egypt Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the shipís motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ëAlex,í was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ëThe Naughty Countessí was one and the other, ëThe Autobiography of a Flea.í The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFOís (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, ìIt is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the

HMS King George V John Leonard Spencer ñ 73 internationally acclaimed donkey, ëLord Hee Whoreí aged fifty one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egyptî. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, ìCor blimey! That

bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.î HMS King George V 72 ñ Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies what goes on in the rest of the world and was awarded seven daysí stoppage of leave and pay to assist my education. (Twenty years later when I was in Gibraltar serving on my last ship, HMS Maryland, I again met Sugar, one of the Spanish performers, at the small watering hole called ëThe Sugar Bar.í) The activities we were involved in during our stay in the Mediterranean were not worth mentioning, apart from the fact that the fastest speed I recall HMS King George V doing was after our bombardment of the German gun emplacements at Melos (or Milos.) We were close to shore having a look-see when Gerry opened up and we were straddled by shellfire. I was not amused as I observed it all from my action station on the ADP (Air Defence Position). After a further whacking, the German garrison surrendered. Alexandria, Egypt Our stay in Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my duty as the bowman of the shipís motor cutter gave me a chance to despatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things. Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ëAlex,í was very diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor, curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the imagination. ëThe Naughty Countessí was one and the other, ëThe Autobiography of a Flea.í The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to as Alex AFOís (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating, for example, ìIt is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the

HMS King George V John Leonard Spencer ñ 73 internationally acclaimed donkey, ëLord Hee Whoreí aged fifty one years, signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egyptî. This was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, ìCor blimey! That bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.î