A bit of Narcissistic arrogance goes a long way down.

1964 – HMS Maryland – The Bathythermograph (Dip)
Our ship was in the West Indies in an area referred to as the Bermuda Triangle. This had no bearing on this ship’s incident unless of course, this peculiar geographical area plus his boozing. had affected the thinking of the oceanography expert on board, a certain Commander ‘No Name.’ Who made a drunken appearance on a quiet Sunday afternoon. This person had ordered me to prepare to do a deep bathy dip while I was in charge of the watch on deck. Knowing the implications of this order if it was carried out, I sent a message to the officer of the watch on the bridge. I tried to explain to the Commander that the wire was not long enough, but was told “Don’t argue. Do it.” At that moment, I applied the secret lower deck laws Numbers One and Two to myself. The commander then ordered the bathy to be set at a depth many fathoms further than the length of the wire. Then, when given the order, I directed an able seaman to 'let go.' The Commander gave me a quizzical look when I waved and quietly said goodbye to the bathy. Many witnesses to the wash-up were on my side. The loss of the bathy cost many thousands of pounds. Our Captain wasn’t amused, but I was secretly delighted!

 At Charleston, South Carolina I went ashore as the ship’s ‘Limey’ representative of the U.S. Navy shore patrol. During a discussion, an American officer asked me why I pronounced the rank of lieutenant as ‘leftenant’ and not ‘lootenant.’ “Both spell lieutenant" I replied. “But our pronunciation doesn’t infer they live in lavatories.” Later we attended a domestic dispute inside of a trailer park that housed married U.S. Navy personnel. When we arrived, a very angry person with a shotgun fired at us, shattering the windshield of our truck. The driver then backed up and the police were called. When I arrived back on board my ship, I was asked, “How did things go?” I replied, “It was a very quiet evening, according to the Yanks.”

From Memoirs. Vest Daily Gaggle.


Your memoirs make fascinating reading - and no doubt remembering too.
I have to ask Secret Lower Deck Orders One and Two?
Anonymous said…
Funny about Lootenant.
Lee said…
Hahahaha! I love your story, Vest. And I look forward to more. Thank you very much for sharing your memories with us. :)
Vest said…
EC. Revealing Lower deck orders One & Two. would be sufficient to have me pilloried for life, or god forbid 'Keel Hauled'.
Vest said…
Andrew. I have a strong preference and rightfully too; for Leftenant. Ie. Lieutenant( French), Captain (Spanish), Admiral ( Arabic).
Vest said…
Lee. Thank you. There is much in my past which I could relate to; some of which is too close to the bone, and might be considered as unbelievable. There are a few snippets that I may reveal in the near future.
Vest said…
Rozzie. Your website is not functioning.

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