Monday, 31 March 2008


Is the pregnant man Thomas Beatie a hoax for April Fool's Day? PREGNANT MAN: TRUTH OR HOAX? As the world's media descends on small town Bend to find out if the story of the pregnant man is true, the couple at the centre of it all have left town. Thomas Beatie, 34, and wife Nancy Roberts, 45, are believed to be on vacation in his home state of Hawaii. Back home in Bend, Oregon, population 75,000, the locals are bemused. The ruddy-cheeked residents enjoy ice fishing and kayaking. And until Thomas's five month pregnancy was revealed to a stunned world on Thursday, the biggest local story this week was the deputy sheriff shooting a vicious pit bull terrier. Thomas, born Tracy Lagondino, announced to gay magazine The Advocate, that he was expecting a girl, who was due in July. He said: "I will be my daughter's father and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family." Thomas, who had his breasts removed 10 years ago but kept his ovaries and womb when he became a man, said being pregnant was "incredible". He added: "Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am." Oprah Winfrey is said to have offered the couple a seven figure sum to clinch the first TV interview. But Fox News has smelled a rat. It reported that Thomas will not now speak to reporters until his confidentiality clause ends on Tuesday - April Fool's Day. A British-born neighbour who is looking after Thomas and Nancy's home said: "They've struck a big deal with someone. "When they come back all will be revealed. This is 1,000 per cent true." The Advocate claims Thomas's doctors confirmed that he is expecting after egg and sperm donation. Nancy had a hysterectomy 20 years ago. Relative Rena Keeley added: "I believe it's true. We've been told not to say anything." But next-door neighbour Ron Schlieper says: "I saw him a few days ago and he didn't look like that. "He was walking down the street with who I thought was his wife Nancy and I don't recall seeing a belly. "If that picture was taken a month ago, he would have been much bigger just a few days ago." In a real-life echo of Arnold Schwarzenegger's film Junior, Thomas says he plans to carry on living as a man while his unborn daughter grows inside him. He became pregnant after stopping testosterone injections. His periods started again and he was implanted with donor eggs. Thomas had been expecting twins before but had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the embryos and one of his fallopian tubes. Now the ethics of the couple's situation has sparked debate across America. Some critics claim Thomas's previous use of testosterone could have damaged his unborn child. Obstetrician Lisa Masterson said: "It really is important that he doesn't take any testosterone early on in the pregnancy. "That can cause male-type characteristics in the female baby." And others are concerned about the child's emotional wellbeing. Psychoanalyst Robert Withers says: "There is going to be an extra degree of complication or confusion about 'where am I from?'" But Thomas and Nancy have already jumped many hurdles to get this far. Thomas has said: "The first doctor we approached was a reproductive endocrinologist. He was shocked by our situation and told me to shave my facial hair. "He then required us to see the clinic's psychologist to see if we were fit to bring a child into this world and consulted with the ethics board of his hospital. A few months and a couple thousand dollars later, he told us that he would no longer treat us, saying he and his staff felt uncomfortable working with 'someone like me'." Transgender groups are championing their cause. Lewis Turner, of Press for Change, said: "As a trans man myself I wouldn't ever dream of getting pregnant. "But I think Thomas Beatie identifies himself as male as much as I do and he just wants to reproduce." Thomas, once lesbian Tracy, became a man because Hawaii does not recognise same sex marriages. The couple, who have been together 10 years, moved to Oregon from Hawaii two years ago and relocated their T-shirt business Define Normal. They were well-known gay rights campaigners in Hawaii. Yesterday the couple were in hiding. But Nancy spoke to the local paper in Oahu saying: "Right now, basically I'm trying to have a vacation and we are not talking to anybody." In 2001 the paper interviewed them when they lived with Nancy's children and went on a gay march. Thomas fought for gay couples to be able to adopt and against homophobic attacks. They carried a coffin containing the names of hate crime victims through the streets. Thomas said at the time: "The 1960s movement put an end to racial discrimination. Today we want it to reach out and cover all minorities." The couple said they had had trouble getting decent housing because they were gay and had to pretend to be strangers to get an apartment. Thomas, then Tracy said: "For fear of being refused, we had to apply as legal strangers. "There are over 1,000 legal benefits that married heterosexual couples have but we don't." They wed in Hawaii after Thomas was legally declared a man because, friends said, he desperately loved Nancy. The couple said family and doctors had been unsupportive about the pregnancy. Last night no one was at the home of Thomas's parents in Oahu. Friend Holly Huber hung up on reporters who called her number. Beaten to bump Thomas Beatie isn't the first man to have a baby - fellow American Matt Rice gave birth to son Blake in October 1999. Rice and his partner, both transgender males, decided to become parents by using sperm donors after side effects caused Rice to stop taking testosterone for a few years.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

Here we go Again.It seems having sex with inanimate objects is the putting it in thing. what else is available?

Vest Say's. I have posted stories relating to men having it off with bicycles, beds, pavement and vacuum cleaners but it seems there is no end to what is available, what other inanimate objects will horny men discover in their quest for kinky sex.
American caught having sex with picnic table.

An American man is facing public indecency charges after allegedly being filmed having sex with a picnic table.
Bryony Gordon: Haven't we been here before?
How about that: More strange stories from around the world
Police say that Art Price Jr was seen copulating with furniture on four separate mornings, most recently on March 14 when a neighbour recorded it as evidence.

Mr Price was seen copulating with furniture on four separate mornings
The alleged incident took place near a school in broad daylight in the town of Bellevue in Ohio.
The neighbour, who remains anonymous, said he saw Mr Price in his garden turning over a round metal tale before performing a sex act upon it.
Local Police Captain Matt Johnson said: "He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table."
Mr Price, 40, will now face up to four charges of public indecency.
Brice Jacobs, another neighbour, told local reporters he was disgusted that Mr Price was not jailed immediately.
"He could do that again," the website of local television station WTOL11 quoted him as saying. "Nude that close to a school. It should be zero tolerance"
Mr Price is understood to be married with three school aged children.
Local police said they had never encountered a similar case. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Cpt Johnson said.
The alleged picnic sex incident is the latest in a series of bizarre sex stories, with people getting caught in the act with inanimate objects.
A man got himself into strife after he apparently attempted to have sex with a fence in Leicester Square Gardens last year. Another man was listed on the sexual offenders' register for trying to make love to a bicycle.
This year a Polish man got a little excited while doing the vacuum cleaning, and decided to have some fun a Henry the Hoover. The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants.

Thursday, 27 March 2008

Another incidence of Blatant Arrogance within the Faith Industry, The Holey Holy Story.

Brian Reade. England. 26:March.

Being a good lapsed Catholic my conscience guided me to mass on Easter Sunday.
I was hoping for a rousing sermon on the Resurrection that would finally see off my doubts, but instead I was ordered to lobby the government about the dangers of human embryo research.
The priest gave no explanation of his rationale, simply warning about it being against God's will.
Not once did he talk of the possible benefits to mankind or admit we may have our own views on this complex, scientific issue.
He simply assumed, as every other Catholic priest in the land was assuming, that when we walked through the church door we left our brains outside and agreed to blindly follow their every dictat.
I felt morally bullied.
And angered that the Catholic Church should demand all MPs be allowed to vote on a "conscience" issue while not allowing its own members the same right.
One of my biggest wishes is to see cancer death rates cut, and if passing this bill helps to do that then I'm with my government, not my church.
Especially a church that can bracket contraception with human embryo experiments, whose earthly leader believes homosexuality is sinful and whose Main Man in Westminster is so concerned about the sanctity of human life he welcomes Tony Blair as a convert while the streets of Iraq still flow with blood.
And a Church which decrees that human tissue must be treated with more respect than the animal variety - yet treats its own members like sheep.
Vest will be very busy this weekend. I shall be having my first haircut in eleven weeks, now the scars on my head feel less sensitive. After posting this nonsense, I shall assume the role of 'Cyril The Gay Hairdresser' when I colour Rosemary's hair.
Today I cut the Grassed areas of our palatial residence(I prefer not to call them lawns) 4,500sq ft.. It really is too much for me; but to get it done would cost the equivalent to 3 bottles of scotch.
I have my # one son who has a heart problem sitting smoking all day at his computer who is 28 years younger than I, just too too much to expect of him to recognise (start you bastard) our lawn mower. Our Gay #5 son Tim should be taking over the role of Cyril the gay hairdresser. I suppose there are other mugs like me out there being ripped off by family, parents never cease to to be servants. I must admit I do enjoy having them around, but there is little at the end of the day I have to thank them for.
Everyone have a happy weekend. Vest

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

"SEIG HEIL"German Tax Fascists Invade Liechtenstein Banks.

Thursday, February 21, 2008 ~ 4:27 p.m., Dan Mitchell Wrote:Notwithstanding Reprehensible History, Germany Launches Fiscal Attack on Liechtenstein. In a remarkable display of fiscal imperialism, the German government sent spies into Liechtenstein and bribed a bank employee to provide confidential records about German account holders. Unfortunately, this sleazy act of aggression was successful, leading to a series of high-profile raids by German authorities. This has created quite a kerfuffle in Europe, and it should come as no surprise that the bureaucrats at the OECD are using the controversy to push their anti-tax competition agenda. According to the Financial Times:
Pressure grew on Liechtenstein on Tuesday to ease its bank secrecy rules in the wake of a German tax ­scandal centered on the Alpine tax haven. . . . Angel Gurria, the secretary general of the OECD, said Liechtenstein's secrecy rules were a "relic of a different time". . . . Liechtenstein's Crown Prince Alois on Tuesday accused Germany of mounting an "attack" on the principality. He condemned as "unacceptable" Berlin's decision to allow its BND intelligence agency to pay more than EUR4m ($5.9m, £3.7m) for bank client data allegedly stolen by a former Liechtenstein bank employee. . . . Jeffrey Owens, the OECD's chief tax havens expert, said the changes would only make a difference if ­Liechtenstein "were now ready to sign tax information exchange agreements with Germany and other countries".
This story is troubling on many levels, particularly given Germany's ugly history of oppression. In the 1930s, Germany had draconian laws to deter citizens from having money outside the country and - like today - it trampled on the sovereignty of its neighbors to get information (see for more information). Indeed, snooping by the Nazis was the main reason that Switzerland substantially strengthened its privacy laws in the 1930s.
Today's controversy is motivated by greed for tax revenue rather than anti-Semitism, but the issues are similar. To what extent do nations have the right to compel other jurisdictions to act as deputy enforcers? Most reasonable people understand that there are limits on cooperation between governments. European Union nations, for instance, refuse to cooperate in extradition cases where an American might face the death penalty. Likewise, most nations would never consider helping a totalitarian regime like Saudi Arabia or Iran if it tried to persecute escaped homosexuals.
The tax issue is a bit more challenging because it is easy to demagogue against wealthy people who utilize so-called tax havens (though even OECD officials get a bit squeamish when asked whether financial privacy laws should be totally abolished since even they recognize that billions of people live in nations that practice some form of religious, political, ethnic, racial, and/or sexual discrimination - not to mention all the people who live in nations that suffer from economic mismanagement, kidnapping, and/or monetary instability).
The head of the OECD considers privacy to be a "relic of a different time." But why should there be a one-size-fits-all policy? Is there really no room in the world for nations that treat people with dignity and respect their privacy? If politicians from high-tax nations and bureaucracies such as the OECD get to decide, the answer is no. But hopefully Liechtenstein will stand firm against Germany's vicious bullying. After all, so long as over-burdened taxpayers have safe havens, governments face pressure to improve their tax law. And even the Financial Times was forced to acknowledge, in a schizophrenic editorial that endorsed sending spies into low-tax jurisdictions, that bad tax policy bears part of the blame:
Germany's problem with evasion is partly the fault of its tax system. Although the abolition of wealth tax has improved matters, marginal income and inheritance tax rates for high earners approach 50 per cent. Tough enforcement will never stop evasion if taxes are punitive.
Link to this Blog Entry

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Do Rabbits Lay Eggs or Eggs grow Hares? It is doubtful. Some Easter Mysticisms unravelled.

The Easter Bunny
rabbits lay eggs?'
When Easter approaches and symbols of chicks,
eggs and rabbits abound, do you ever wonder what the rabbit has to do with Easter and why he is often depicted carrying a basket of eggs?
What is Easter?
History actually suggests that the Easter bunny was originally a hare. In
pagan mythology, the hare represented love, growth and fertility. The hare and the egg were also the symbols of the spring and lunar goddess Eostre, from whose name it is generally believed that the word 'Easter' is derived.
In some ancient cultures, the hare was a symbol for the moon. Hares feed by night and have been observed staring at the moon when it is full. Their gestation period was also believed to be 28 days — the same as a
lunar cycle. The lunar cycle, which represented the victory of life over death or spring over winter, was celebrated around the vernal equinox. That is why the date for Easter changes each year: it is based on the lunar cycle. The Council of Nicea in 325AD decided Easter would fall on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox on 21 March.
So Why a Rabbit?
The rabbit has taken over from the hare, as it is far more common in many countries. Due to its reproductive proclivity, the rabbit is also regarded as a symbol of fertility. Eggs are also symbolic of new life and fertility, hence one of the reasons why the rabbit carries a basket of eggs. However, there are other myths that try to account for this.
And Eggs?
Neither hares nor rabbits lay eggs, but hares bring up their young in 'forms'. These forms are hollows in the ground, usually located in fields and meadows. Hares make more than one form so they can divide their offspring among them for safety. Plovers have been known to take over a form as a nest in which to lay their eggs. One legend relates that a woman saw a hare leaving a form and upon investigation, she found a 'nest of eggs', which she consequently believed to have been 'laid' by the hare.
According to another myth, Eostre's hare was a large, handsome bird which she one day magically changed into a hare. Because the hare was still a bird at heart, it continued to build a straw nest in which to lay its eggs.
German legend states that according to custom, a poor woman hid some coloured eggs in a nest for her children to find. As the children approached the nest, a hare hopped away and they therefore believed that the hare had brought the eggs!
The 'bunny' as a symbol of Easter was first mentioned in German writings in the 16th Century and introduced to
American folklore in the 18th Century. Children would build a nest using their caps and bonnets, and if they had behaved, would be rewarded with a nest of coloured eggs.
Although nowadays the real reasons for Easter have become masked in commercialism, it is interesting to delve deeper and become familiar with some of the ancient traditions behind the confectionery symbols presented to us in modern Society.

Friday, 21 March 2008

Post No 350.This reminds me of the song,"Seven Old Ladies Locked in a Lavatory"

Boyfriend Charged In Woman-On-Toilet Case
NESS CITY, Kansas (AP)4 hours ago.

A man whose girlfriend authorities say spent nearly two years in a bathroom in their house, sitting on the toilet so long that the seat adhered to her body, has been charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult.
Kory McFarren, 37, was charged Monday in Ness County District Court.
McFarren called the Ness County Sheriff's Office in late February to say something was wrong with his girlfriend. When authorities arrived at the home, they found Pam Babcock, 35, stuck to the toilet, which they think she had sat on for about a month.
McFarren told authorities that Babcock feared leaving the bathroom and may not have left it in two years, although said he was unsure how long she was in there. He said that he took her food and water daily, and that he repeatedly asked her to come out but that she usually replied "maybe tomorrow."
"The only thing I am guilty of is I didn't get her help sooner," McFarren told The Associated Press nearly a week ago.
Ness County Attorney Craig Crosswhite said the mistreatment charge most closely fit the situation.
"I looked at the statutes and spoke to the attorney general's office," he said. "This was a very unusual set of circumstances, and this is the law that most closely applied to the situation."
Authorities said Babcock sat on the toilet so long that open sores developed and caused her to become attached to the seat. Sheriff Bryan Whipple has said that he used a pry bar to remove the seat from the toilet, and that the woman was taken to the hospital with the seat still attached.
"She would have to be sleeping on the toilet," Whipple said.
Doctors at a Wichita, Kansas, hospital where Babcock was taken told McFarren that an infection in her legs had damaged her nerves and could leave her in a wheelchair. She was still at the hospital Wednesday night.
McFarren's first court appearance will be in April, Crosswhite said.

Readers: Google (Song, 'Seven old ladies locked in a lavatory') There you will find several differing renditions of this classic fun song, not to be taken too seriously.

The songs chorus are sung to the ageless tune "Oh dear what can the matter be." preceded by little ditties such as this.

The first old lady was Elisabeth Wicker
Who merely went in to fasten her knickers
She thought she was quick
But the Vicar was quicker
But nobody knew she was there

Followed by
Oh dear what can the matter be
seven old ladies locked in the lavatory
They were there from Sunday to Saturday -nobody knew they were there.

then another ditty follows.

So many variables to this song if you are easily amused.

Have an enjoyable weekend, Vest.

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Ex Australian Naval Officer shows total contempt for the Captain of his ship when a junior rating in WW2. Also a letter to Alaistair Templeman.

Lucky lad: It is a pity this sailor was not around in 1800, for a reward of 100 lashes and keel hauling.
I quote as a British Royal Naval person serving from 7:1:1942 to 16:7:1966 in relation to my opinion of the said ex Royal Australian Navy Lt now retired, who was a former crew member of the ill fated 6" Gun Light Cruiser H M A S Sydney, prior to its sinking.
It is sad about the crew of the H M A S Sydney, but I too am certain if anything could have been done to correct the response to the German Armed Merchant vessel Kormoran it would have been done, it is so easy to be wise after the event, you win some lose some, IE Bismark sinks Hood Brits sink Bismark. There are a host of sea battles which take a lot of interpreting, sadly most of the contestants don't hang around long enough to tell the true tales of the conflict.
With all due respect to the families and friends of the deceased sailors of the H M A S Sydney. may you find comfort now that your Loved ones have been found.

Now for something I found totally distasteful in today's Daily Telegraph(delivered to my door daily).
The comments made by a Royal Australian Navy Lieutenant (Retired) Aged 86 the person afore mentioned, Alaistair Templeton. His condemnation of his former Captain (Commanding Officer), who was far more qualified to perform his duties without question than a nineteen year old signalman named Templeman, who is now submitting his own theories on why the HMAS Sydney was sunk in battle with the Kormoran. And if the truth be told; this aged Buffoon with an enormous chip on his shoulder, has put together all of his suppositions from yarns that were told by the distressed crew of the Kormoran who were unlikely to be able to think clearly while traumatised by the events that took place. in fact most of the accounts from the Germans would have favoured the propaganda machine of the Third Reich.
We occasionally come across silly old fools like ex Lt Alaistair Templeman who take delight in prefabricating or embellishing their favourite silly stories to newspapers in order to supplement their pitiful pension, but in order to do so this silly old Buffoon digs into the worst scenarios to expose a possible culprit, in order to achieve impact he embarks on a crusade to spitefully belittle his senior officer (His Captain) An English person. Now the bigotry and hatred emerges, he has an aversion to poms (85% of Australians have Brit ancestry) so we must assume Alaistair must have obscure descendants, and it is the reason for his blame pushing.
Alaistairs statement in the press confirms his vitriolic bitterness to British officers; when he quoted that, "All British officers in his opinion had a flippant attitude and were unreliable"
He goes on to quote that, the fate of the Brit Battleships HMS Repulse and HMS Prince of Wales in which action I lost two relatives and many friends, was due to the lax attitude of the ships commanding officers in not having adequate air support to confront the enemy(The Jap Air force) in those days in 1942 the Japs used conventional methods of attack, unlike the divine wind bastards we had to put up with later. Well Al you silly old Buffoon if the air support was available and it wasn't, it would have been provided.
Alaistair you don't come across as a typical gentleman naval officer, maybe you were a non Dartmouth educated jumped up lower deck version, a special duties officer (SD) or meaning scrub deck officer, which seems the only thing you are capable of.
You can only be described as a vitriolic old fool.
Go, Boil your head.

Sunday, 16 March 2008

UK Man arrested for having 'SEX with a Lamp-post'

UK Man arrested for having 'SEX with a Lamp-post'
Man arrested for 'having sex with lamp-post'You may recall my previous post 'Man has Sex with Bicycle'. This horn bag has been duly sentenced (*). We now have another goof having it off with a Vacuum Cleaner, bringing the (dare I say it) the blow job to a different delightful dimension. Having considered the cons of this practice, it would be advisable not to try this in your own home without immediate access to the Off Switch.A 32-year-old man has been arrested in Wiltshire for allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamp-post.Worker caught having sex with Henry Hoover(*)Man who had sex with bicycle sentenced The incident is the latest in a spate of bizarre sex crimes involving inanimate objects.The incident was witnessed by childrenA police spokesman said officers were called to a road in the U K town of Westbury on February 16 after they received a report of a man acting indecently outside a block of flats "occupied by several young women".When they arrived they arrested him on suspicion of outraging public decency.The man was released on bail, but following an investigation into the incident and several interviews with witnesses - including children - he was recalled for questioning. He has since been re-released pending further inquiries.The Wiltshire police spokesman said: "We are awaiting a decision as to whether there should be a prosecution".The incident echoes a similar case last week when a Polish contractor was caught on his knees with a vacuum cleaner in a hospital staff canteen.A security guard walked in on the man in the middle of a compromising act with the Henry Hoover appliance. He later claimed he was cleaning his underpants. He has now been fired.Last year, Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. (read my previous post)The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down when two cleaners walked in on him at the Aberley House Hostel in south west Scotland.He paused only to ask, "What is it, then?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs.I pause to wonder, "How many different inanimate objects could be available to insatiable sexual deviates; lying around unnoticed by normal people""Has any person reading this, ever had an exciting sexual interlude with a inanimate amoral object? Or are there objects lying around un-noticed that could be construed to be objects Amour."This may raise a few eyebrows, but you have the option of anonymity. or you may Email me.

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Man held over Goa rape of teenager. S DaSouza prime suspect

10 March 2008

Man held over Goa rape of teenager. S DaSouza prime suspect
Man held over Goa rape of teenager.A 28-year-old man has been arrested by police in India in connection with the rape of Scarlett Keeling.Scarlett Keeling lived her with her mother and siblings in a smallholding in DevonSamson Da'Souza was detained after witnesses came forward alleging they saw him raping the 15-year-old from Devon on the beach at the resort of Anjuna in Goa on February 18.Inspector Kishan Kumar from Goa Police said: "This man was seen with the girl near to where her dead body was found. It was evidently clear this man was raping her."We have sufficient evidence to show this man was having sex with the girl in the early hours of February 18. We have established that he was raping her."Under the Indian legal system, Mr Da'Souza will have to appear in court in connection with the case within 24 hours and will make an appearance at a magistrates court in Mapusa on Monday.advertisementThe arrest came after a second post-mortem examination carried out on Miss Keeling's body after pressure from her mother Fiona MacKeown.Miss MacKeown, from Bideford, has spent the weeks since her death demanding an investigation and claiming that her daughter, who had 50 marks on her body, was murdered.Initially Indian police said the death was an accidental drowning but have now launched a murder investigation because the second post-mortem results showed she had been attacked.The results also found she did not have enough water in her lungs to have drowned. Other reports have said that three men are being questioned as part of the investigation. Police official Bosko George said the men were detained but have not been arrested or charged with any crime.Miss MacKeown was on a six-month holiday with her boyfriend, Miss Keeling and six other children in India when her daughter was attacked.The rest of the family were travelling in a nearby state and Miss Keeling had stayed with a tour guide in Anjuna when she was last seen at a bar in the resort.Miss MacKeown managed to find clothing from her daughter on the beach and had also taken witness statements in an attempt to find out what happened."It was our main objective to get the police or somebody to admit that she'd been murdered as I knew in my heart that she had been," Miss MacKeown said.Goa is popular with Western tourists but in the last few years there have been problems with tourists dying from drug overdoses and women especially being attacked and sexually assaulted.According to the Times Of India, 126 foreign people have died in Goa over the last two years and in January this year a 30-year-old British woman was raped.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Joke Time. Add your joke here to compliment this Joke sent by NIGEL in England.


You have two choices in life:You can stay single and be miserable,or get married and wish you were dead.__________ At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?''Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' __________ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:'Husband Wanted'.Next day she received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing:'You can have mine.' __________When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. __________A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .__________A little boy asked his father,'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.' __________A young son asked,'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africaa man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.' __________Then there was a woman who said,'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,and by then, it was too late.' __________ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.__________If you want your spouse to listen andpay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. __________ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.__________First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' __________ 'A Woman's Prayer:Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death' __________AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

Sunday, 9 March 2008

Indian Railways the worlds greatest employer deem the width of two horses arses to be four feet eight and a half inches'

Indian Railways the worlds greatest employer deem the width of two horses arses to be four feet eight and a half inches'
There is no exact metric measurement in comparison, BTW this has nothing to do with cricket, so if you are a cricket looney shove off. And you thought being a Horse's Ass wasn't Important(unless you are a Cowboy)The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay! But why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads...?Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.Now the twist to the story...When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass....and you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Vest Still having Health Problems, Mostly Headaches

Its at night time when day time activities tend to give way to the need for rest when the headaches kick in. The right side of my head has a overall numbness about it(no remarks please this is serious). after twenty five days since the accident my cheek remains bruised and swollen; particularly around the eye socket. my right eye lid is not functioning normally, which in turn is effecting the usage of the eye, although manually opening the eye lid reveals a watery eye with a surrounding twitch. but I believe(I hope too) that my sight in that eye is not drastically impaired.

I have an appointment with an eye specialist coming up, and may seek another head scan.

Other than that , all's well in the kingdom of Vest, I still have a heap of catching up to do. but domestic issues are eating into my blog visiting time.

Here is is a sad story about Bill, and his Doctor to cheer your day.


The doctor said, "Bill, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Bill was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for, but felt he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He decided he could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need a new suit." He entered the shop and told the owner, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . . size 44 long." Bill laughed. "That's right, how did you know? "Been in the business sixty years!" the tailor said. Bill tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly. As Bill admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Bill thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The tailor eyed Bill and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Bill was surprised and said, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business sixty years." Bill tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. He walked around the shop, and the tailor asked, "How about some new underwear?" Bill said, "Why not! The tailor said, "Let's see . . . size 36." Bill laughed, "Ah-ha! I got you. I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." The tailor shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." New suit: $600 New shirt: $46 New underwear: $6 Second opinion: PRICELESS

Saturday, 1 March 2008

CURRY CRICKET. The Lack of National Pride, Will Sound The Death Knell for the Curry Cricket Debacle.

The public cricket spectator needs a 'Home' team image, when watching or viewing his favourite sport, not a hotch potch team of dead beat aged misfits thrown together by the lure of excessive pay. These mercenaries should be given the boot from their former employment and not reinstated when the whole sorry mess goes pear shape. However money being the order of things most important, will probably find these prodigals coming home for another feed of the fatted calf.

The big money for small cricket offered by the Indian Premier League has not enticed every international cricketer to sign up. As the eight IPL franchises enter the biggest player auction ever held in Mumbai today, England opener Alastair Cook is adamant that playing for his country means far more than a hefty bank balance.

"We get very well looked after as England players," Cook said in Napier. "When I was 10 years old I didn't dream about playing in an Indian Twenty20 league, I dreamed about playing for England, and I'm very happy with what I'm doing."

Your country needs you: England and Essex opener Alastair Cook
Like most players when the whiff of easy money is scented, England's elite know about the IPL and its illegitimate relation the Indian Cricket League. Yet, Cook reckons the subject has hardly been aired in the dressing-room, allaying fears of a Kerry Packer-style defection of the best players.
"It's not been an issue for England players," he said. "Nothing is bigger than wearing the Three Lions and playing for your country and I can't see anyone giving up playing for England to go and do that."
Saving yourself for the demands of Test and one-day international cricket would seem a sensible move for those at the start of their careers, which is why three Australians, Michael Clarke, Mitchell Johnston and Brad Haddin, the latter heir apparent to the soon-to-be-retired Adam Gilchrist, pulled out of the IPL yesterday.
For well-established players it is different and it is unthinkable that players like Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff have not been sounded out, if not for the impending IPL tournament that starts in April, then certainly for future ones held over the next five years.
At present, every Test-playing country bar England is represented among the 82 players listed on IPL's website. So far, there are 31 Indian players, 11 Aussies including legends like Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath, 11 South Africans, 10 Sri Lankans, eight from Pakistan, five from New Zealand, three West Indians, two Bangladeshis and a single player from Zimbabwe, Tatenda Taibu. Each is guaranteed around £80,000 just for signing on.
That England is not represented even by recent international players suggests a deal done between the Board of Control for Cricket in India and the England and Wales Cricket Board. After all, the English season has been set in stone since the 19th century and IPL's decision to hold their tournament between April 16 and June 1, when the final is played, encroaches on that in a harmful way.
Unlike the ICL, which has seen its overseas players like Chris Read and New Zealand's Shane Bond essentially barred from returning to representative cricket, each country's board has given the IPL their blessing. In return, Lalit Modi, the BCCI's vice-president behind the competition, is adamant that players without a No Objection Certificate from their respective board will not be signed.
For the moment, England players on central contracts would appear to be controlled by the ECB, though for how long once lawyers start filing restraint of trade orders is any one's guess. What seems obvious is that it will become a growing concern unless a window for IPL, convenient to all, opens up in the schedule.
Modi's take on the competition many feel will rent cricket apart, is that it will revolutionise the game, but in a way that benefits all interested parties.
Other interpretations exist: one being that it is an elaborate ruse to get international cricketers to stop complaining about playing too much cricket by proving money's revivifying effect on tired minds and limbs. Another is that it is TV's latest attempt to have a cricket match on screen every hour of every day.
Such saturation coverage can cause viewer overload, something that appears to have happened in Australia where for the first time in 29 years Channel Nine did not broadcast a match it had the rights for.
For IPL and their television paymasters the warning is stark: you can have too much of a good thing.
Last night there were only a dozen people among approx 300 viewing the Aus/Sri Lanka cricket in my local club .

Vest Has Left the Building

To advise that Vest (Les Bowyer) passed away this morning. Regards, Chris (Son).