Saturday, 24 January 2015

Weights and measures , can be fun..

     For those too young to remember the pre decimal guide to weights and measures you may become lost in the translation of this simple Quip, so to ease the pressure on your noddle a short summary of  Imperial measurements follow.
One Kilo in weight  is equal to approx 2.2 Pounds in weight and 14 Pounds is equal to one Stone.
     On the arrival of my visiting relatives at my hospital bedside on Wednesday, the aged English guy in the bed opposite remarked on waking that he had lost half a stone  in a week due to the hospital food. I replied  "Sir; I lost a whole stone  In sixteen days when I was here last time a year ago".
Not to be out done my visiting son Chris remarked , "A few months ago our Ginger Tom Cat Spent Six hours in the local Veterinary Hospital and lost two stones."

Vest is a trifle sore in the Nether Regions and is unable to squat on this chair for too long , so I shall return  in a while. Vest.... back soon.

   The power of imagination makes us infinite.
   

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Maths Teacher Arrested.

Maths Teacher Arrested At London Heathrow Airport - held in isolation.
A secondary school teacher was arrested today at London's Heathrow International airport as he attempted to
board an international flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a pair of compasses, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a press conference, a UK Border Control spokesman said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
 
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Spokesman said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns;" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle.
When asked to comment on the arrest, Opposition labour Leader said,"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." Fellow Labour colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Opposition Leader.


Saturday, 17 January 2015

PM
Subject: charity



Red Alert was heard from the sponsors of this Message "Scrooge and sons Safe depositories NSW Aus"


The strange seismic sounds had bothered scientists. However , it was the last Email message Re Tiny Tim Of the Reywobs which had been simultaneously received by the Reywob clan which rang fiscal alarm bells, which resulted in the rapid closure of Cash safety deposit boxes in Richmond Kurrajong and on the coast at Huskisson in NSW Australia

The radiant glow surrounding the said boxes portrayed the Ghostly Kosher Effigy of Great grandma Reywob in the 1930's whose purse was sealed with super glue to prevent spending and spillage - wailing "the ogre of charity besets us - we must repel all requests or lose the black ink supply for our shekel deposits"

It was not until the following day The " All Clear" Was announced on Hewbrewvision that a Elder of the Reywob clan had announced That he had actually given not even lent it to the poor parishioner in deep poo, he was counseled by a senior reywob over the matter but was frightened off when the great Reywob Said it is better to give than receive and was last seen at the wailing wall... just wailing.


Think it more satisfactory to live richly than die rich.

Health wealth and happiness to you all. Sel Reywob.


Timbowyer@me.com Replied HaHa HaHa  "I loved it"

----- Original Message -----
From: Les Bowyer
Sent: Monday, January 12, 2015 8:10 PM
Subject: Andrew.



Anytime you wish to resolve any existing problems, your Mother and Chris and I are ready to come to the party but don't leave it until it is too late, if you have any gripes , air them now., or before Friday Jan 16.the date is decisive due to a legal fiscal matter. this is entirely up to you, we have done our part. .

I will be in Wyong Hospital Tomorrow and the big one in Wyong on the 23rd Jan., your Mother has asked me several times this week if I knew where I was,, yes it has all gone. I am afraid your Mother has lost it. Dad..


A sort of happy ending -Respite thing occurred Wed evening and Aunt Rose is spending a few days away down the coast. is coming back today. Sat 17.

This was sent to Tony and particularly David who's Fat frump teacher live in lover and I had a Stoush XMAS back in 2013..

----- Original Message -----
From: Les Bowyer
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2015 9:09 PM
Subject: The proud Bowyer family



Whether or not it is a known fact that Dad and Mum are owed since 1996 $14.5 thous bucks which would now amount to at least $40 thou or more in Int from dear Tim and ex spouse is not relevant to this appeal but it is nice to remind persons within the tribe that the matter remains unresolved and the likelihood of its recovery has been banished to the backburners of my mind like many other best forgotten issues which some of us prefer to keep on record in case of whatever may perhaps in the future be needed to stir the proverbial can.

However, some of us have got on with our lives and and have forgotten petty issues some of us have retained their superior than thou attitude and make little effort to resolve those past silly- petty issues. well here is an opportunity to set things straight. those who wish to communicate and get on with their lives feel free to do so.

During the past few weeks it has been drawn to my notice that our Junior tribal member, Tim; May 'Midas' bless him , has again fallen on Severe fiscal stony ground and despite pleading incantations to his banking predators has come to the double full stop.... plus.... His Mater and Pater yours truly recently paid off one third of his new refrigerator and today I have contributed my weekly pension ( 1 Off only) to Lessen his fiscal burden and to wit will assist his necessary expense to exit his present abode, which according to Tim is under constant threat of attack by the local indigenous tribal forces in downtown Redfern in the borough of Sydney.. This is an urgent appeal for assistance to make up the shortfall of four hundred Dollars to enable Tim escape from certain annihilation .

Please send your fiscal donations to Tim , who will accept any form of monetary payment or send to Chris who will forward it on the Tim. ( No widows Mites in the box this is serious , ok then,you have the goodwill message lets see how the goodwill stakes are in force today ' Be a Proud Bowyer and lead the Charge for Tim and ST George so don't stand around get to it; dig deep. And. to all you lovely rich REYWOBS have a great day..... **your poor reywob patriarch.

** untrue.                  Plese read in reverse, Unc Les

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

The Explanation

The Explanation This relates to a one off cocky fem  med person I met yesterday 

Any aged person at 88 plus who has four sources of income and has lived in five different countries and travelled to at least 78 countries some many times, and has written his memoirs and is still posting on his blog after nearly ten years and 1, 262 posts plus comments and still writes for News Corp  but has lost his hearing aid.  has no desire to be belittled and be put down by some one job  medical nanny, your assumptions are way out of whack. I refer to other persons  of similar age not all suffer from dementia as some medical staff would love to presume and be treated as if one were a juvenile or retard.
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much
.

People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline.
The human brain works slower in old age, but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.
Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people take more exercise, although this paragraph does not apply to me, yet.

          The other five Med staff  I met during my pre op check were great.
           I remained cool in case by chance I might not survive the op next week.
           Must not antagonise the people with the cutlery.

           Vest.....Back soon.

         
















 

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

History On This Day.

     January 7 1946. on this date  Yours truly VEST had served in the Royal Navy for Four Years and had served on  this ship* for three plus years I was just Nineteen and five months of age.
    Due to wartime business with the opposition namely the forces of Nippon, the steering namely the rudder  became split  on the way back to Sydney from Tokyo The *HMS King George V, a 40,000 ton Battleship after a several trials was deemed seaworthy provided its speed did not exceed ten knots.
    The 'King George V' had left  from No 6 Wooloomooloo dock Sydney on Sun Jan 6 1946 The temp was also 46C, a military band played on the jetty as sad girlfriends waved good bye mid the  tune of 'Land of hope and Glory'. it would be the last time a British battleship would be seen in mainland Australian waters..***
As I glimpsed at a shore line never to be seen again until my return on Aug 4 -71 with my family., The KGV Sailed to Hobart.
. It seemed our Captain had had a bet with his friend another Brit  Engineering Captain who was the Skipper of the 39ft Sloop 'RANI', that if he won the Inaugural 'Sydney to Hobart' race he  would bring the ship down to Hobart. Sorry Aussies The Poms won that first race;  it is not mentioned too often
     Yes it was Seventy years ago today when a 15.5 year old vest a 4ft 10"  Barnardo boy of no fixed abode was given to the Royal Navy (Brit) By Watts Naval Training School for a finders fee of 25 pounds sterling.
     Incidentally the journey for KGV from Sydney Jan 6 was finally over on March 13 -1946. ..66 days
     KGV The Flagship of the BPF The forgotten Fleet)


*** except for Fremantle on the way back to UK.

     The last Laugh... The Royal Navy have been paying my 25% pension at the current rate  for over 48 years., as the say " Money for old rope"

 Vest, part of history.
BTW I am unwell and will not be posting for a while. also My Rosemary is not in the best shape she is losing it , it is so sad.

The Last Post

I am sorry to say this blog will soon have its final post, this post may be my last.  I would like to say "Thank You" to all of yo...