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Showing posts from February, 2007

Well yank my doodle its a dandy

A bunch of unemployable bludgers and layabouts who do little else but whine about their woes, drug addiction, weight problems and the state of their god fearing dysfunctional inbred families. This how I picture this intercommunicating cesspit of North American bloggers who consider any non American fair game for abuse. In order to correct and create a level playing field for non American commenter's, I found myself dissected and most of my opinion rejected, obviously my reasoning was beyond their zero IQ comprehension. One blog administrater has called for my extinction, and at this point in time is rallying this festering mob to use whatever devious methods they can concoct to bring about my demise. Not a single person in this group has the intestinal fortitude to stand alone, to be honest I would rather have a snake as a friend than anyone from this sinister bunch of creeps, who are devoid of humour and the social graces. So to my detractors I have this well used statement to of

WHO WANTS TO BE A CLUCKWIT

Subject: Idiotic 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever Idiotic ‘Millionaire’ Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever Kathy X, the single dumbest contestant to ever get on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" NEW YORK – Ranier- Minnesota resident Kathy X brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.”It seems that Kathy, a 51-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing “the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.” After being introduced to the show’s host Meredith Vieira, Kathy X assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: “Which of the following is the largest?” ) A PeanutB) An ElephantC) The MoonD) Hey, who you calling large? Immediately Kathy was struck with an all consumi

THIS IS ONE FOR THE SCHOOL KIDS AND LATE STARTERS WITHIN THE COMMUNITY

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rul

AUSTRALIA IS OUR COUNTRY .

Yes It's Our Country Most of us true blue Aussies feel very strongly about this, but for those of you who don't, read this at least twice. Australia- The Right to Leave Our Country - YOU Have the right - the right to leave ! After Sydney not wanting to offend other cultures by putting up Christmas lights. After hearing that the state of South Australia changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's licence with her face covered. This prompted this editorial written by an Australian citizen. Published in an Australian newspaper. Quote:IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It ! We are tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the

THE ALL AMERICAN HUSBAND STORE

The Husband Store A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . .you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men ha

HOW DOES YOUR FEMALE PARTNER RATE. IS SHE THIN, NORMAL, OVERWEIGHT, FAT or VERY FAT

Sitting at a desk collecting donations for charity gave Bob; a friend of mine an idea how to make the time pass more quickly. The following day he arrived with prepared sheets of paper on which he recorded with ticks for all the women who passed him in the categories that most suited them. Bob being a terribly honest person did not deviate from the standards he applied, and the results he obtained were quite astonishing. Bearing in mind the Central coast of NSW, Australia, Where I live have a higher number of retired persons than most inner met suburbs. Bob also precluded all children under the age of eighteen. so to enable this to be accurate, Bob did two surveys; both between 0900 and 1200 am, one on a Tuesday and the the other on a Thursday pension day. below are Bobs Results. TUESDAY. Thin, 116... Normal, 128... Overweight, 167... Fat, 278...Very Fat, 257. THURSDAY. Thin, 87... Normal, 106... Overweight, 179... Fat, 302... Very Fat, 291. AVERAGE COMBINED, Thin, 203... Normal, 234..

AUSTRALIA LOSE AGAIN, THE AUSSIES RATED WORSE THAN BANGLADESH, HAVING LOST FIVE GAMES IN A ROW.

Once again Strayer is defeated by the Kiwis, prior to that it was three in a row by the English cricket team. Five losses on the trot doth not make Australia the best team in the world, their best batsmen and bowlers are knackered and the new players just very ordinary and wayward. It was good to see the look of dismay on the dials of the Aussie losers instead of their demeaning-arrogant attitude towards their opponents, these nose picking, bollock scratching, unshaven bunch of gum chewing has- beens ; need to get back to basics.

AUSTRALIA'S WORST ONE DAY CRICKET LOSS IN HISTORY. Rock Bottom, How low can the AUS Bludgers go?

A comment I received recently, suggested the English cricketers although under rated, were never tested during the recent debacle when defeating New Zealand and Australia. What a shame that the England team preparations for the World Cup have been damaged by having to play opposition that is so easy to beat, namely New Zealand and Australia. I wholeheartedly go along with this jibe, made in retaliation to the on and off field derision by the Australian team and cynical nose in the air "We are unbeatable" press coverage by the bigoted Australian press towards the under strength and under rated England cricket team. The jibes and sledging gave strength to to the England team, and with a lot luck and pluck, Plucked the opposition leaving them losing face. I Quote: Its not the size of the dog in the fight. Its the size of the fight in the dog. Today we hear of Australia's worst loss in O D I Cricket history. Australia, 148 runs from 49 overs plus the loss of 10 wickets. N.Zea

Ok you Skinnies. Here's your chance to become Obese like your fat friends

I expect you remember the standard make up of the school kid gangs, one tall, three average size and one fat boy with spectacles. During recent years the order of things have changed to three four eyed fatties a stunted ginger head skinny.and a very fat girl, who is usually called tweety or laura for some odd reason. So if you are a skinny and wish to move outwards to the fat trendy status, here is the best way to start. In the School Canteen or in the lunch box mummy has prepared for you is the catalyst for expansion and the means to short circuit your life span. Start right now consuming heaps of Trans Fats which is found in a variety of foodstuffs notably those in a list shortly to follow, this will get you a proud pork belly in little or no time. Why? Because this crap you eat tastes delicious and is addictive because of that. Mothers, whack some in your child's lunch pack, your skinny kid will love it and become a fat and happy rotund little blob in the wink of an eye. Trans F

Short Ass bludger, Oz test bat Allan Border,is Now a DOCTOR ? According to English super bat.

Border has no right to question my courage Say's Big Kev Pieterson . of Short arsed Allan Border. Kev questioned Borders latest loud mouthing, Border stating Big Kev was too quick to head home after suffering a broken rib, It was only cracked and he could have come good in a couple of weeks. Big Kevin Pieterson was struck by a ball delivered by the super mumbler and sledger , Glenn McGrath . Border Say's Big Kev, played in 156 Tests. But that doesn't give him a Medical Degree, Its a load of crap from some one I have never met-and don't want to. A B; watch out, a fat lip could be in the offing for you on big Kevs return to Oz . (I hope). Condolences for the ex p-m (English) cricketer And current member of the Black & White minstrel show who is now Strayer's Fav One day Cricketer, Andy Symonds is a victim of good English bowling during the Oz bludgers defeat on Friday Jan 2. "Cop That!" Andy Pandy , for defecting to the enemy. Get well soon; the

No Blogging No visitors. Just a lazy weekend.

Very quiet, so I got a few oldie music masterpieces out, well I was the only person listening so there were no complaints, it was refreshing being able to hear the actual words of the song, instead of the mod version of bang clang noise, drowning the vocal drivel, sounding more like a M R Swahili choir. Most of you wouldn't have a clue who the Artistes are, but here is a list of those musical legends I listened to while watching the cricket minus the dreary commentary. Glenn miller, "In the mood" ** Sophie Tucker, "Some of these days" ** Judy Garland, "Over the rainbow" *** Al Jolson, "My Mammy" ** Fred Astair , "Putting on the ritz " * Delores Del Rio, "Ramona" **** Deanna Durbin , "Waltzing in the clouds" *** Eddie Cantor, "Making Whoopee" ** Jeanette Macdonald , "Merry widow Waltz" **** Peter Dawson, "The Floral Dance" *** Carmen Miranda, "I YI YI YI YI (I Like you very mu

VEST IS SHUTTING UP SHOP UNTIL THE NEW BLOGGER GETS ITS ACT TOGETHER