Sitting at a desk collecting donations for charity gave Bob; a friend of mine an idea how to make the time pass more quickly.
The following day he arrived with prepared sheets of paper on which he recorded with ticks for all the women who passed him in the categories that most suited them.
Bob being a terribly honest person did not deviate from the standards he applied, and the results he obtained were quite astonishing. Bearing in mind the Central coast of NSW, Australia, Where I live have a higher number of retired persons than most inner met suburbs. Bob also precluded all children under the age of eighteen. so to enable this to be accurate, Bob did two surveys; both between 0900 and 1200 am, one on a Tuesday and the the other on a Thursday pension day. below are Bobs Results.

Thin, 116... Normal, 128... Overweight, 167... Fat, 278...Very Fat, 257.

Thin, 87... Normal, 106... Overweight, 179... Fat, 302... Very Fat, 291.

Thin, 203... Normal, 234... Overweight, 346... Fat, 580... Very Fat, 548.

Er indoors AKA my nearest and dearest, weighs in at 138 lbs or 65 kilos and is five feet seven inches or 165 centimetres tall, PERFECT.

So its a fair bet(about 7 to 1) that the broad (Broad around the beam )you are trying to get your arms around at night needs a heap of blubber removed.
How does your darling rate? don't lie, tell the truth.


Anonymous said…
Get rid of the trans fats from the takeaway nosh shops might help. I am fair of face unwed 142lbs 5'8" and 35yrs.and hope I am normal.
Vest said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said…
when i was hard up way back, i shacked up with a real fat rich older lady who had a real large fanny and used a great big dildo to bring herself off, can anyone beat that for size.
Anonymous said…
hi vestie the wedding is on the sat 7-7-7. thats in july.
didn't say anything on your cricket posts as im an aussie.
Anonymous said…
Actually I rather like the plumper type woman as it also suits my own girth[plump] I can't say there was any noticable differece elsewhere. nice post. G, ex blaogger.
Anonymous said…
love all al das girlies thinn or fats but not to big 4 make luv
Anonymous said…
It cannot be far from the truth but why all the mockery--are there not fat men too?
Vest said…
I have a raging headache, caused by me being in the sun on my feet for ages at a friends funeral yesterday. I did not sleep well and missed an important meeting with my old shipmates today and constant tel/calls from well wishers prevented me from sleeping this afternoon.
Amy: Good luck, but I don't think you will find what you are looking for on this blog.

Gordon: Thanks for the wedding info.

Anon: Nice to know you have found contentment.

pat t p: oh no not you again.

Not so slender: It covered women only.

Wally: Your very interesting last sentence "Can anyone beat that for size". Well Wal, no contenders yet, and if it was as big as you said it was, It would certainly take some Licking.
Anonymous said…
my head is reeling with all those numbers

Maths was never my strong point
Anonymous said…
Hahahaha "It would certainly take some licking", ROTF FL.
hey vestie your not into that surely? (--O--)
Anonymous said…
25 Years of Marriage

After I had been married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one
day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and
watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year slightly plumper old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a
cheap apartment, driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed.
Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crises.... .
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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