Showing posts from 2011

Sixty years ago "And it don't seem a day too much." remember the song?

There must be people out there that would make our long time acquaintance pale into insignificance. However, Rosemary my wife and I have been known to each other sixty years and married 58.5 years with approx five years of separation in several segments during my naval career. During that time we have lived together in five different countries finally in Australia for the past forty years. We have Five sons,  one grandson, eight granddaughters, and two g grand daughters and one g great son. "So What" you may say. Well er I thought I would love to tell you just that, Also I wouldn't swap my nearest and dearest for Quids. "No trumpets sound when the important decisions in our life are made. Destiny is made known silently." Uncertain times ahead, Back in a few days..... Vest.

The Grumpy guide to Christmas... Humbug !!!

Click on the link, then all programs, then CLICK ON TO COMEDY To find The Grumpy Guide To Christmas . There are 12 days remaining before this video expires. Vest Wishes  all Christmas worshippers and addicts ; a wonderfully  hilarious  and expensive Christmas. "The generosity of your time is the most valuable gift you can give". Back soon following festive recovery. Vest Daily Gaggle. Btw Have a squiz at the pics..... These pics....

Fact or myth....Helping you to live longer.

Fact or Myth? You Should Never Eat Tomatoes Stored in Can Only forward this to your friends. The problem with canned tomatoes is the cans themselves, which are lined with a resin that contains the synthetic estrogen bisphenol-A (BPA). BPA canned foods has been conclusively linked to a disturbing array of serious health problems that include: • Heart disease • Cancer • Diabetes • Reproductive and sexual problems • Obesity • Cognitive and developmental problems There already severe dangers of BPA canned foods are further multiplied when combined with tomatoes. That’s because tomatoes are acidic, and the acid breaks down BPA. Once broken down, BPA leaches out of the lining of cans and into your food — in health-harming amounts. According to Fredrick vom Saal, an endocrinologist at the University of Missouri who studies bisphenol-A, “You can get 50 mcg of BCA per liter out of a tomato can, and that’s a level that is going to impact people, particularly the young.” The National Toxi

Catholic Priests, Should they Marry or be Neutered.

The most formidable of the  Faith Industry Christian following the Roman Catholic Church, is rarely short of a sexual scandal concerning not so much Nuns but the Men of the cloth who wallow in the privilege of secret sexual activity between themselves and young children in their care. These people involved could avoid this ghastly activity. should the archaic Church of Rome  allow priests to marry like other normal males. The alternative could be castration which would solve the sex problem completely , also retain a healthy bank of treble singers should the choir boy numbers drop. Poverty, Ignorance and fear of the almighty allow the church to bully their charges into submission. little wonder most of these underprivileged people have few independent thoughts of their own, this is not only in Ireland as will be mentioned but worldwide, Particularly within Hispanic communities.       160 cases of sex abuse. Church atrocity. In respect to  85 Irish priests. so far eight  convictions

Putting on that extra pudding

Trying to get rid of that extra pudding you piled on during the festive season may have you wishing you had donated most of the cash you used to inflate your tummy by sending it off to the East African famine relief fund, or was your excuse 'They are all Muslims so why worry', then after Christmas I'll get into a detox program". Well if you are daft enough to fall for these detox and weight losing promo's, only your stupidity will be the winner, losing your money would be more likely than losing that extra weight. From diets based on raw fruit and vegetables and colonic hydrotherapy, there are dozens of treatments and other chemical products claiming to cleanse the body. For some people these products could be dangerous, and claims made about detoxing are more than likely false. There is one simple rule for losing weight, that is 'Eat smaller portions' there is no magic short cut, you have to eat less and exercise more. If only I could stick to t


1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for seconds yet? 8: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9: Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10: Don't play with your meat! 11: Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go. 12: Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13: I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time! 14: You still have a little bit on your chin. 15: How long will it take after you put it in? 16: You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17: Just pull the end and wait for the bang. 18: That's the biggest bird I've ever had! 19: I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning. 20: Wow, I didn't think I could handle all

Breast milk Ice Cream.

Dont laugh it's true, I was in titters when I first heard of it. Ice cream made with breast milk has proved a big hit in a London restaurant, the first batch selling out quickly and customers asking for more. The Ice cream the makers call 'Baby Gaga', is made from milk expressed by 15 women who replied to an online advertisement, Each serving at the Icecreamists cafe in Covent Garden costs equal to approx  Aus bucks 22. or fourteen quid  sterling. One of the milk donors Victoria  Hiley, 35, said if adults realised how tasty breast milk was then more new mothers would feel happier about breast feeding. I visualise these fifteen busty beauties being fitted up to the 'Roto lactor down on the farm by young male volunteers at 5am each morning. However, being a bloke and remembering back a bit the excitement and pleasure of being breast fed frequently up to my late fifties I cannot recall the taste although I kept  going back for more. Remember not all suckers are loser

The Australian Annual Shonky Awards.

      Shonky products and dodgy Flood Insurance rated high in the Dubious and Dodgy goods and services annual awards. Flood insurance is so confusing it has been named as among the county's worst products, alongside a weight loss nasal spray and Quail eggs  to cure erectile dysfunction. Consumer group Choice awarded eight lemon trophies this year, the first of which went to providers of flood insurance which left home owners in three states without cover, In many cases this was because of many definitions for the term 'Flood' and the convoluted abuse of the English language which made policies indecipherable to even ambulance chasers. The honours for misleading consumers went to SensaSlim for a weight loss spray costing $70 which supposedly decreases appetite. The serial conman Peter Foster is currently under investigation for his part in this supposed scam. Some of us will remember Foster as the architect of the 'Balin Slimming Tea' scam in the late eighties. Q

Gay Minority Win.

Since the fairy story of  Eve dropping her fig leaf to the demands of Adams snake in the grass, after eating the lustful apple, the pear or pair on the ground and their dubious descendants have been at it ever since.  The incorporation of sodomy was the next boudoir pastime, although not as pleasurable as the real thing so I have been informed; its cost cutting activity meaning non birthing and future responsibilities, have bred new genes in both sexes which have now reached saturation point, which means one in four births are now non heterosexuals. Gay marriage has now been approved in Australia, now I am all for that happening providing they are male and female couples( meaning one of each gender) otherwise should the trend continue to accelerate with same sex couples it would eventually spell doom for the world population, mind you it would be a good idea to start this same sex  program in China and India. Poorer Muslims have been back pedaling for centuries due to the more wealth

Global Talk

Global Talk RSS ARCHIVE Print Page | Forward Page | China Has 3,000-Mile Nuclear Tunnel A group of Georgetown University students have spent three years translating documents,examining satellite images, and obtaining restricted Chinese military information to assemble a comprehensive look at what is known as the “Underground Great Wall.” The wall is actually 3,000 miles of tunnels to hide a missile and nuclear arsenal, The Washington Post reported. The students were led by professor, Phillip Karber, a former top Pentagon official who worked with the Secretary of Defense and the Joint Chiefs. The 363-page study has not yet been released but it has caused a stir in Congress and the Pentagon for its conclusion that the Chinese could have far more nuclear weapons than previously thought, the Post reported. “It’s not quite a bombshell, but those thoughts and estimates are being checked against what people think they know based

A Father Dilemma.

Or a Mother of a problem. Forward into the future people world wide with the exception of those bogged down with archaic religious problems may find themselves celebrating  'Parent 1 Day' instead of 'Fathers or Mothers day'. That seems to be the logic of present moves to include 'parent 1 and parent 2 in Australian passports' seen as a means of accommodating the descriptive means of same sex couples. Could be problems there, who gets to decide which parent is assigned each number, could parent 2 even be the victim of numerical  discrimination. Perhaps same sex applications could list both parents as fathers or mothers. Problem solved. Are you a Quitter. Whether you are an ABC music quiz show or parliament speaker, quitting can leave on lookers with a  disappointed, bereft sensation. Just keep doing the job for ever and ever so we can feel secure and comfortable. However if you really really must quit try very hard not to release an album  of love songs in

Check your shopping receipts before you leave the shop.

  Even if you are paying in cash, but mandatory when using any card system. The big retailers particularly the supermarkets do not automatically hand you a receipt anymore if the sale is under $30. you must ask for it… CHECK YOUR RECEIPTS BEFORE LEAVING THE CHECK-OUT An associate bought a heap of stuff the other day while on holidaying in Melbourne (over $450), & when he glanced at his receipt as the cashier was handing him the bags. He saw cash out of $20. He told her He didn't request any cash and to delete it. She said he'd have to take the $20 because she couldn't delete it. He told Her to call a supervisor. Supervisor came and said he'd have to take it.. he said “NO Bloody way!” Because taking the $20 would be a “cash advance” against his Credit card and he wasn't paying interest on a cas

Sleazebag Golfers make me cringe. plus Sex for the Aged.

        Suckhole journo's heaping gushing praise on those wealthy international oversexed  golfing creeps like "Victorious Shark has crack at Tiger" what a load of bollocks and gobbledygook. If I had my way Huge golf courses would be used for growing spuds for export to starving nations. should my number three and four son's rebuke me for this outburst; too bad.       Colonel Gaddafi's son Seif al - Islam will receive a Fair Trial (ha ha) following his capture yesterday. This will be followed by a swift lopping of his nogging by Scimitar shortly after.        The sex lives of pensioners or aged persons have a significant impact on their marital satisfaction and general happiness. A study of a large range of over 65's found 60% had sex more than once a month and were happy compared to only 40% who had not had sex for a year. About 80% who had sex more than once a month said they were very happy in their relationships. Highlighting the relation ship betwee

You must be joking "How many Battleships"?

The Daily Telegraph -  my favourite newspaper delivered daily to my door, has always had a stack of editing problems. Today we have their so called history writer Ann Beveridge bashing out yet another saga about the sinking of the Royal Australian Navy light Cruiser The HMAS Sydney. It would seem every year this mysterious wartime occurrence is churned out, so if by chance this story has passed you by , this can be seen on line on the Sat edition of the Daily Telegraph  Nov 19. 2011. Today this story Starts: ... THE Australian Battleship the HMAS Sydney sank 70 years ago to day on November 19, 1941.  No need to repeat what happened every man jack has heard this story umpteen times , it's enough for jolly jack to ditch his Tot. History writers like in this case should checkout the facts before confusing the public. A Battleship it was not, The HMAS Sydney was a light cruiser as in a type of  WARSHIP . Warships come in many categories shapes and sizes, Starting from the larger B

From Vest, In reply to my recent critics.

       Being an Orphan without monetary advantage and with minimal, or better put - inadequate education, and the possibility of a higher education out of reach, the struggle to learn becomes one's own responsibility. I have only my tutors to blame for any ignorance on my part; and any semblance of intelligence I should be held accountable for.        I was not a philological prodigy. I lacked that uncanny gift which some people have for language structure which seems akin to a gift for music or calculation. I never became concerned with the metaphysical aspects of language.( I am not interested in Chomsky.That places me.) And I never thought of myself as a 'writer' or though I have tried to become one. I do have the opinion I am a fairly good plodder With an aptitude for grammar when necessary and a love of words understood by the masses.       Few so called writers have the same abilities each have their own style if not each story would be boring.       Each story or

Brits Love Aussieland. The Nation of vegetables. Plus Cricket.

Those lovely British people love Australia, despite the Aussies  desire to become Crickets all time losers. It could be the time again to import a few foreign players by giving a few well paid ball belters a temporary or Keppler Wessells type citizenship.  Retraining depleted and worn mouth wallers such as Andrew  M could solve the wicket keeping crises ( providing he could be fitted with a pair of mouth gloves. However, the British people still love this sun burnt country and like myself have voted it the best place on Earth to live or just visit. Australia finished on top place  ahead of Spain and Italy and America was the poor loser. Tourism  from the U/K was worth $2 Billion a year. Again However, I have a sneaky feeling most of the money coming in is from Brit pensions being paid to expat Brits living here. At least 30% of my retirement income is sourced from Great Britain. Most Australians cannot recognise every day vegetables. It could be a nutritionists nightmare. Most ad

Beer Belly Bandit bogged down in Bathroom Window

      The Lakesides burglar who we will call beer belly Bill was caught red handed by a guy  we will call Fred who saw him jammed in his neighbours bathroom window late at night. Fred's neighbour we will call Alan was contacted by phone at a local club  and minutes later Fred and Alan assessed the situation and it seems the struggling burglar was jammed in the tight fitting window simply because the push up window lever with hole's for varied degrees of opening had come loose and the spoke on the ledge had jammed into his belt buckle. Beer belly Bills plaintive pleas for help were mingled with the pain he was feeling, he had kicked away the bin which had assisted his entry of  Alan's bathroom window where he was now firmly jammed. Alan then proceeded to photograph both ends of this writhing monster who was now saying sorry and pleading with Alan not to call the cops, Fred then found Bills wallet and  Alan photocopied his details also extracted the only forty odd dollars

Cricket Test. Australia "ALL OUT for 47".

Last Man in Hits highest score on Debut,... Ducks Galore....But keep calm . this is no reason to commit suicide, the game is not yet over. Aussie fans 'Have a nice day '.... Vest.


CURRY CONTEST If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America . Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges ( Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

200,000 Oriental troops storm the beaches of Sydney.

The year Ad 2001.  November 5, WW3  started. Nearly a quarter of a million Oriental troops landed on the Sydney beaches in an attempt to overthrow the Australian Govt and suppress its people and colonise the land. On the same day in Europe (Guy Fawlkes Day). North European forces landed  1 million troops on the South coast of  England in order to install a Salami culture and destroy England's 'Black Pudding Industry' which had flooded the supermarket shelves on the European Continent. After several months of conflict on both fronts the Oriental forces decided to give up and retire due to the shortage of dim sims and soy sauce and the resolute defence of the Strayans, and the invaders of England were suffering from ingesting too much Yorkshire pudding and a shortage of vodka. Many sad tales of these warring incidents have been recounted over the past decade, and so to revive old memories, delegations from the former invading countries, meaning people led by fat cat politi
1 .. Two blondes walk into a'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2 . Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..' 3 . A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.' 4 . I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5 . I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.' 6 . My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7 A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. 8 . I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskim

The Melbourne Cup, The race supposedly which stops the nation, Or does it?

For starters I am one of many persons who do not go along with that old wives tale, people who have a working brain will totally ignore this cup day hype. Of course if you are a thieving turf accountant (Bookie) it will bring tidings of great joy, Santa clause eat your heart out..  Horses are better employed pulling carts and ploughs and other means of transport and providing manure for the garden, also rides for kiddies. Old geezers have been known to take this horse riding practice to further their amorous pursuit of buxom blonde  riding instructors. however, I shall not waffle on about that. If it is your  first visit to the race track, you will be overawed by the constant palaver and near the end you will see fewer happy smiling faces than those with glum faces and empty pockets. But the thing which should be the dead giveaway to punters is you will find more Betting windows than paying out windows. I lived for two years looking straight at the 'Happy Valley' Race Course


Has the whole civilised world gone nuts? PLEASE WATCH AND PASS ON: There are also other YouTube videos worth watching.

Should Australia outsource all drug crime problems to Malaysia and Singapore

          Do not continue reading if you are a wimp or squeamish.   Draconian Drug laws in Malaysia and Singapore deciding the fate of Australian drug users and peddlers. would save the treasury a heap of revenue to be usefully spent elsewhere. The families of drug paddlers and users could be indicted for not informing on those, who have knowingly profited from  this illegal activity. Those people who would normally stand trial in Australia and if convicted - which would probably be the best case scenario, would serve out their time in Australia with enormous cost to the taxpayer. Well not if I had my way. These morons should be given a one way ticket to either Singapore or Malaysia depending on who was available.  Offenders could then be instructed to finance their defence with their ill gotten gains or in special circumstances which would be far cheaper than in Australia. Should by the odd chance a miscarriage of justice occur and these offenders were acquitted (which would

Two year old Toddler dies.

(BEIJING) — A toddler who was twice run over by vans and then ignored by passers-by on a busy market street in southern China has died a week after the accident and after days of bitter soul-searching in the country. A nurse in the intensive care unit of the Guangzhou Military District General Hospital confirmed that the 2-year-old girl, Wang Yue, died early Friday. She declined to reveal the cause of death, saying it would be announced later. (See more analysis of the incident that has scarred China's conscience.) The plight of the child, nicknamed Yueyue, came to symbolize what many Chinese see as a decay in public morals after decades of headlong pursuit of economic growth. Her death touched off another round of hand-wringing. Many comments posted to social media sites said "we are all passers-by." See TIME's Top 10 of Everything of 2010. See TIME's most unforgettable Read more:,8599,2097491,00.html

After toddler is lerft to die,China disquieted.

China Email Story Send to a Friend . Facebook Stumbleupon Newsvine Yahoo bookmarks Mixx Digg Reddit Google Bookmarks Twitter LinkedIn Yueyue, a 2-year-old, moments before she is hit by a truck in Foshan City in China. (Credit: via Youku) The video from Foshan City of Guangdong Province in China is unequivocal: A two-year-old is seen lying in a pool of blood on a market street having just been hit by a truck, which sped away after slowly running over her with its back wheels too, after which more than a dozen people walk around the toddler, non offering help. The child, named Yueyue, survived the accident, after a 56-year-old rag collector finally came to her rescue and dragged her out of the road, but not before a second truck hit the girl, according to China Daily . She is now, however, in rough shape - "brain dead," doctors say - and is unlikely to survive. By itself, the video (WARNING: Graphic violence)

Dying toddler shocks China

Video of ignored dying toddler shocks China Footage of a two-year-old girl being run over by a van and lying bleeding on the road as more than a dozen people pass her by has sparked outrage and soul searching in China. The video surveillance footage ... More Sign up for regular email news updates from - click here . Visit throughout the day for the latest breaking new

The I G A Supermarket, Birthday Special, Complete stuff up.

Where I live on the Central coast of NSW IN Australia we are blessed with a fair selection of options when it comes to supermarket shopping. Within a radius of eight klms there are to my knowledge no fewer than seven supermarkets, some of which who recently  started advertising specials on a Wednesday instead of the usual pension and social security hand out day on Thursdays. Not to be out done the next move was by another supermarket to get their specials out on Tuesday. However, to get their nose in front of the big guys, the smallest supermarket chain has gone to the extreme and  has  advertised that their "Big Birthday Bonus" Today Mon Oct 17, I G A  Stores are open from seven am to eight pm and nearest store is minutes away. It is advertising more than a dozen major specials. So having nothing better to do but  help the struggling store we arrived at the nearest I G A store in Buff Point. I recall seeing this store quite sometime back when we called at  the Booze shop n