Should Australia outsource all drug crime problems to Malaysia and Singapore

          Do not continue reading if you are a wimp or squeamish.
Draconian Drug laws in Malaysia and Singapore deciding the fate of Australian drug users and peddlers. would save the treasury a heap of revenue to be usefully spent elsewhere.
The families of drug paddlers and users could be indicted for not informing on those, who have knowingly profited from  this illegal activity.
Those people who would normally stand trial in Australia and if convicted - which would probably be the best case scenario, would serve out their time in Australia with enormous cost to the taxpayer.
Well not if I had my way.
These morons should be given a one way ticket to either Singapore or Malaysia depending on who was available.  Offenders could then be instructed to finance their defence with their ill gotten gains or in special circumstances which would be far cheaper than in Australia.
Should by the odd chance a miscarriage of justice occur and these offenders were acquitted (which would be highly unlikely)  a minimal five year custodial sentence with hard labour for wasting taxpayers money would be ordered without any argument.
Those convicted  in Malaysia or Singapore would be subject to local laws  and punishments which befit the crime. The most lenient and most unlikely happy ending for miscreants could be several  years in a cheaply run Asian jail but funded by Australia, again saving our taxpayers heaps.
But beware you druggies who are smarter than most , a finders fee for dobbing in you guys is on its way.and should you fall foul of the law it would be adios amigo. Fortunately but more is the pity they do not burn assholes at the stake anymore, but for entertainment value about the best.
Where you would wind up, they like to expedite a swift departure from this life of yours with a going away party, meaning a necktie party.
Should this grand Idea fail to impress our Malay and Singaporean  friends,  the Australian Govt could find other ways for it to be economically implemented within Australia by a totalitarian Govt voted in by the masses fed up to the teeth with a unhealthy diet of labour MS G - but shrewed enough not to have our country run by a Bud Abbot - Lou Costello right wing outfit.
This new Humanitarian Govt would appeal to the righteous among us, and those willing to follow its doctrine of  health happiness and stability and a fair go for all, with a no slackers policy plus a maximum income rule, meaning Celebs Misc would be restricted to a forty sq home and one well paid assistant. plus a higher I/Tax bracket imposed.
To  get the ball rolling our new govt would flog off the fleet of  Collins class subs for scrap likewise all out dated Yankee military junk and installing an arsenal of Nuke  ICBMs pointed at possible intruders' and installing a mine field to prevent illegals and modern aircraft purely for defence and not political jaunts. Also mandatory military training although brief would  be compulsory for all,  fit persons from all  religious denominations and callings, no one excused. Poker machines and other gaming excesses stopped, Clubs would impose a pay for entry rule and excess bouncers would be shipped backed to Samoa and New Zealand. Television  would be available only three days per week at the weekend except for news and Govt authorised programs.  This would encourage sedentary blobs from sitting on their ass half the day .
A new entertainment to rival Boring Thugby and Tennis and that other weird game played in Vic land.
Very similar to pin the tail on the Donkey will dominate mid week entertainment, only this will be Roman amphitheatre stuff. By using the vacant sports ground facilities  A small entrance fee for what  would be called the evening games, deducted before your arrival with the date of your entertainment and at which venue.
These games would be similar to the 1789  French style  peasant public entertainment called 'Waving goodbye to your 'Bourgeois,' these would be held weekly on alternate days to suit all.. Special Bi annual events where offending elevated Gentry and High profile persons will dominate the proceedings, will have an attached title such as 'Judge Jeffery's Day' and 'Albert Pierrepoint' Day.
The greater the crime or better still the  more prominent the person such as high profile celebs, thieving bankers and lying politicians will be afforded these departure dates to be viewed by those lucky to win a seat at the venue, this will be decided by public ballot, tickets may be transferable., but not for profit.
At the scene of the action you will notice the absence of the traditional scaffold where the prisoner drops below the  floor level out of sight and by doing so spoils the scene of the convicted wretch with bulging eyes  in his shite filled pants twitching and struggling until pronounced deceased, although it is not compulsory to view this; by looking away,. However, the more fun filled days are when at least four offenders are put on the rotary gibbet  with limbs secured and stretched from neck to toes without hoodies. An adjacent Oompa band plays songs like "here we go round the mulberry bush and ring a ring a roses "while a clown tickles their noses, then like the musical chair thingy one of the offenders drops and the band plays "Goodbye; it was so good to know you". On some special occasions large over weight offenders add to the gore and misery by leaving their heads behind to roll around the platform. this in turn freaks out the three remaining offenders who pray for quick dispatching.

The mid week venues at sports ovals earmarked for public punishment displays also provide an area where dummies dressed as drunken P platers, disqualified drivers, pedophiles and more, where for a payment of a modest fee persons may  thrash the buttocks  of the dummies which in turn sets off a sound of screaming, 'just like the real thing.'
Later people who are to be caned in similar ways as previously described, are lined up. First offenders receive six of the best from a large rattan cane. second and third offenders receive twelve and eighteen of the best respectively. Few will ever return for the eighteen strokes to be repeated.
Only the aged and frail, and persons under thirteen years of age will be lucky to escape these spectacular shows where the aim is to promote non violence, perpetrators will suffer such penalties as was aforementioned.
But of course none of this is likely to be enacted  by our ongoing Wimpy Parliamentary voices of the people right now or ever, this is due to the ever accelerating volume of criminal activity, mainly led by the nefarious and greedy leaders in society allowing order to generate towards total anarchy where only the strong survive to be struck down by the last of the few who will perish at the finale.

Questions are:
 Do you agree there should be capital punishment for all pre meditated homicide?
Should women be excluded from these laws or have an  alternative punishment to flogging ? (be careful)
Should flogging plus a fine and disqualification be imposed on repeat drunken speeding drivers?
Do you advocate desexing for sexual deviates and pedophiles. or a simple flogging such as twelve of the best on the bum.with a prescription of eighteen of the best for those who never learn?
And finally: Do you agree that a severe caning for home and schoolyard bullies also spouse beating, would fit the crime on each and all occasions?

How would you deal with these Anti Social problems.

Anonymous callers welcome. ......Back Later Vest.


C A. said…
It would certainly reduce crime to the minimum eventually, but put me out of work at the mortuary.
Jaded Jane said…
It would stop me being as naughty as i am now.
WALLY. said…
Hi Vesty, I liked the bit about the heads coming off and rolling aroud. real groosome.
WALLY. said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said…
Are you really serious about this
or is this meant to be funny? because I don't see the joke.
Vest said…
Anon : It is probably the reason you are a frigging wanking wimp.
It is no more or less entertaining than some of the dreary blogs I visit under duress.
Simply a gory spiteful attitude to people who allow certain people the privilege to run Amok among the more law abiding citizens.
Don't tell me you have never been 'Geed up' watching horror movies on the telly.

Just to cheer you all up and those wishing to have a laugh at my expense. I have just had a semi serious accident while having a shower when I knocked the hot Tap (Faucet)on Full trying to avoid the scalding water I slipped on the soap and fell out of the recess on to my shoulder onto the tiled floor. I am not a well person but expect to survive.
The word beginning with Bo and ending with cks comes to mind.
Anonymous said…
As you say it's unlikey to happen.

Your fall may have been punishment for some of your horrid suggestions.
Gordon, The Baker. said…
A bit gruesome today Vesty.

Like to let you know Zac and Maria have twins, boys Anthony and Michael.
Vest said…
84 Visitors, hard to believe so few comments.
The non involvement syndrme strikes again.
Frog. said…
The goggling eyes in the rolling head would be a big rave and more so if the tongue was was waving around, great fun for assholes.

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