The Daily Gaggle

The Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and await death when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk." "Ees, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon." With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork. "Pepe, Pepe, wees saved! Ees a bacon tree!" "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? Wees in the desert don't forget." "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!" And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, Pepe crawling close behind, when sudd...

Not a bad summer up to now , a few hot days but we were able to deal with any excesses in temp with the air con, today quite pleasant 20c in doors and a westerly (cool) about 30 knots out side with rain at times, The grass (weeds)  is or are saying  thank you to the gods for their survival. Plus of course the seeds which I planted recently which were generously donated by a now disgruntled Rello who took exception to a remark he didn't hear but supposedly was said to his over weight  serial dissident partner, oh well,  that will keep the dung flying a little longer, I am unconcerned and am not at a loss by his excommunication of my blog from his website, but I'll bet he will take a squizz now and then, hard to remove old habits and curiosity. My wife and I live on the central Coast of NSW Australia, ours is a semi rural seaside situation about two minutes walk from the water, rello's taking exception to me not wishing to trundle down to the hot sun and sand whe...

Why do you need to be tattooed? most intelligent people will wonder or ask the question.It seems it takes less time to decide upon your tattoo than it does to study your dinner menu. I bet you were not thinking at the time of your new permanent adornment " I Love Sally" on a big rosy heart, that it would be harder to erase  than acquire a divorce blessing from the Pope. So why did you adorn your pristine body with a temporary obsession which will stay for ever more amen. Not all girls are named Sally your new wife Rose will be confronted with this tat each time you hanky panky in the boudoir I believe you must be incredibly silly, drunk, bored  or retarded. or easily led.to become tattooed. Tattoos remind me of the never ending display of graffiti we see in dark alley's and along railway tracks. Tattoos now appear to be covering the bodies of most sports persons and despite their belief it makes them appear more belligerent, I believe it is the need to be notice...

Let us give thanks to our favourite mentor.- god or whatever, that, the wretched Cricket Test match series in Australia has finally ended. The sickening stench of hatred stirred up by the  Biased and  retarded sports journo's one sided attitude rarely gave a fair account of what was really happening. although the England team were slightly underdone, the strayans or the bludgerygalahs were at their hateful best, using a double headed coin to win the toss is  bad sportsmanship, however, the nice English gents caught on eventually; but it was too late to notice the Vaseline to shine the ball in a bowlers eyebrows also chewy on the ball to make it swing. The Bludgers best bowler or 'Chucker' of the ball was an Afghanistan resembling Genghis inky arms. it seems that foreign cricketers  mainly Paki's get swift immigration approval called the ' Kepler Wessels fast track Migrant and Citizenship within ten weeks approval Bludge'. As for the RSL Goon, A Mr Row...

The movie about a mass of flesh called the BLOB - the top ruling fatso is heading towards reality. It is a fact that the world population is becoming FATTER and Fatter. The number of Obese and overweight people in the world almost quadrupled to nearly a billion between 1980 and up to 2009  and considering it is now 2014 it must be worse today. People in developing countries are leading the chase to fatness. It beggars belief that with all the info available regarding weight loss, so called intelligent people continue to gorge themselves, laziness - inactivity smoking and greediness the main problem, although it can be said that a fat obese parent could be the cause of triggering obesity. Diet, alcohol smoking and activity mentioned before are controlling my  household,. my weight remains steady although I am a little overweight our two main meals of equal proportion for each of us contains a high content of vegetables but my wife is losing weight despite the extra no...

  CHAPTER 13 ...Not a heap of difference My First Career On 5 January 1942, I went to Shotley Royal Naval Base for a medical examination, which I passed despite being under the height requirement of five feet. I was four feet ten and a half inches, six stone six lbs (42.3 kg), and fifteen years, five months and twenty days old. I was an undersized, under-aged piece of ‘cannon fodder.’ The school received a twenty-five pound Sterling bounty payment upon my delivery to the Royal Navy. My body was sold for approximately 55p or Aus $1-15 a Kilo or 30 cents US per lb. After a gruelling train journey to Fleetwood (near Liverpool,) I embarked in the early morning on the Isle of Man steam packet, ‘Rushen Castle’. It took four hours to get to Douglas, the capital and main port on the Isle of Man. I hadn't been at sea for four years. Looking piteously at the first-timers vomiting on the boisterous Irish sea, I was reminded of my first experience of seasickness on a P...

Thoughts As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. ..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. .. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. .. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while .. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. ...

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my family & friends about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well, three days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails, followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before ... I took a cab home! Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it!!! ...

   These Stories are True and not Fairy as in most of the scriptures, and they unfold daily. It clearly Shows the needs of Priests to be in dire want. or need if you prefer. By abolishing the archaic rules of the Catholic Church  and giving priests their basic human rights of procreation as other break away Christian orders have done Since Fat Henry; then we are more likely to see an end to these sordid acts of Buggery which give relief to the sexual cravings of these priests destined to live a life of  masturbating - or as we now see due to the exposing by the press, and of the sordid acts of Sexual depravity  which have been perpetrated by these priests for centuries. Two more RC stories fill Page 11 on today's Sydney Daily Telegraph, Thursday 12 Dec. The 1st anniversary of the end of the world day debunked last year as false. (1) Catholic coffers crammed with cash. (2) Kept for sex by a religious predator. G...

 You do not have to continue reading if this offends you- being an unfortunate member of this Bum boy Sex Sect or one who condones this depravity.My Favourite paper the Sydney Daily Telegraph delivered daily to my door has a front page spread full of info and in graphic detail of this on going scandal. Tuesday Dec 10. The Telegraph Say's the Catholic Church has admitted paying at least $43 Million in hush money to victims of it's paedophile priests, as the Church's barrister outraged victims yesterday by quoting from the Bible.  The full  ungodly story continues on in page Four. get  your copy from the News agent or supermarket now. If you are feeling tight arsed   (no pun intended) you can read this on line. The Telegraphs Bevy of  Pig Swill gushing  Sports writers Continue their tirade of racial and offensive abuse of the 'English Gentleman's Test Cricket team ' Some the Bilge being uttered would make an RC Priest Burn his Bible, Mind you...

  Followers of  St Thompson De Brothel discarded MP. and serial Porn wanker, who are the ardent readers of The Sydney Daily Telegraph 's Pornography pages to wit the  Brothel daily classifieds, may soon find their sordid  wick dipping escapades fiscally out of reach, that is should our grafting miscellaneous Govt bodies throughout Australia follow the laws on prostitution in those of two major European countries. French Politicians  have set in stone; laws which that will make the clients of prostitutes liable for fines starting at 1,500 Euros  - Equiv to Aus$2250. The anti - prostitution legislation was approved by the French lower house National Assembly and is expected to receive Senate approval  before the end of this year. The French decision was inspired by similar legislation in Sweden which penalises the users of prostitutes. Of course it would be interesting to discover Why? there is a  starting point  in the scale of fines. May...

It seems only a small percentage of sexually depraved Priests from all denominations are bought to book, of the hundreds brought to justice it could be estimated ten or more times that figure could be the never ending count of the God preaching Paedophiles AKA Bum Bandits. A former Christian Brother Priest has confessed to sexually assaulting his third  schoolboy victim in an offence that dates back almost 40 years. Stephen, Francis, Farrell, 62, pleaded guilty to indecently assaulting a ten year - old boy while he was teaching at St Alipius school in Ballarat in the 1970's. It is the third victim Farrell Has admitted assaulting, following a 1997 conviction on nine charges  of indecently assaulting two brothers at St Alipius in 1973 and 1974. On that occasion Farrel avoided jail, with a two year suspended sentence. Farrel left the Christian Brothers in late 1974, However, the crime was not reported to police until 2012. How do we the public deal with this crimin...

CHAPTER 7 Halls Naval Academy AKA WNTS. I don’t remember how I got to HNA, but I was very pleased to be back with my brother after a year of separation. Christopher seemed changed. He was in Class 2B when I arrived on 16 December 1936. I was exactly ten years and five months of age. Christopher was in Seven Company and I was in Six Company, each company having about forty-five boys between the ages of eleven and fifteen-and-a-half. I had two days of schooling before the Christmas break, when I was told I would be in 1A not the 1B class.The Headmaster had obviously read the letter from Mr Pointer, my previous headmaster. Halls Naval Academy was a charity school with a nautical theme run on militaristic principles. The estate was located in the Suffolk rural countryside far from the outside world. It was situated on the edge of a plateau that sloped east to a valley near the river Eastham where the school farmed the land. HNA had a pop...

According to the Australian Weather pundits, Our summer will be arriving tomorrow on the beautiful moderate Central Coast of New South Wales Australia. It is rather odd that I should be sat in the garden with a jumper on grasping veggies I have just uprooted awaiting the arrival of the Sun. Our sun dial has gone back to bed as the thermometer  had only managed to rise to 17 C  at Mid day. However, a smidgen of sunlight is filtering through the dark clouds which promise yet another downpour, I am saying this is peculiar weather due to the last day of our recent winter clocked up a 35 d C in our neck of the woods and more than 40dC in other parts of the State I recently wrote to both our state and fed govt weather blokes who replied in similar vein that it is not possible to provide an answer to this dilemma, this being due to God aka little John slamming the phone down after he explains he has retired and lives on the central coast at T...

This Aborigine owned land of ours was first invaded by Thieves Whores and Varlots back in 1788 most of whom were from the old dirt (not dart)in Ireland and a few unfortunate miscreants from the sceptred isle were mostly bundled into prison ships which left POM pey AKA Portsmouth Hants England and sailed to Sydney where most of their  traditional traits were passed on to their descendants and these grisly traits are often seen surfacing within the general public and Govt depts to this day. Fortunately for Australia The migration of clean living hard working people from England and Europe  in the late 1800's until the present time probably saved Australia from sinking to the depths of depravity although as mentioned earlier  Sydney and its suburbs house a multitude of  Illegal drug and gaming houses and twice the number of unregistered Brothels as those allowed by cash strapped councils, hardly a day passes before we get news of yet another po...

Seriously folks I am considering cancelling my subscription to the Sickley Daily Telegraph which I use mainly for historical, weather and monetary info plus to provide 8x8 inch sheets of dunny wipe in the one holer in the back yard for the exclusive use of traditional Oz beer swilling guests who gatecrash my exclusive candlelight dinners. But being bombarded with embellished literary bilge belched out by  bonehead Cricket scribes which contains a hatred content greater than the gospels of  Lakemba Clerics seems to be the main function in the noddles  of those lavatory wall scribblers. a bit of name dropping won't go amiss like the Monika's of Malcolm the Convict and con artist CONN. Peter bad ass Badel.  Bobby alias Fanny Craddock, and Dunny crawler Doris Dorries, And last but not all of these unpalatable pen pushers Ricky Dickhead Hinds. Most of the recent Cricket controversy is now set in stone,  the perpetrators slapped with paltry fines Unfortunately the ...

CHAPTER 55 Fifty Years..... Now Sixty. Our Golden Wedding anniversary celebrations on 21 June 2003 went well. Mary and I were very pleased. I thought Mary looked very beautiful. She was complimented by most of my former shipmates, who suggested she looked more like my daughter. The dinner was excellent and our friends and relatives were well turned out and very polite to one another. The reason for the niceties was the imposing presence of my ex naval friends and their partners, who did their level best to be as pleasant as was possible. My good friend, Harry delivered a complimentary speech. Every one enjoyed the good quality dance music. Mary danced with all five sons and every other male person at the party. Our sons were photographed with us displaying happy smiles, although their shaven heads and dark clothing reminded me of the TV family ‘The Sopranos.” I was quite surprised when Bruce turned up at the club looking quite fit and he...

The Vast Majority of my neighbours are  amicable at the least, meaning those I have come in contact with. Some neighbours have been house guests at our house number eleven  in our avenue. The residents of No Nine are super and the previous resident of No13 who now resides across the  road at No 6 is also a frequent caller who described the new owners at her former residence as grubby and pushy. this of course has not gone unnoticed  by  other local residents and particularly myself. It would seem  that, two families  are using this formerly attractive four bed home although their three cars in their drive are OK its the miscellaneous callers which bump up the vehicle numbers and going back the 4 and ten ton trucks parked outside our house which gave offence and destroying the landscaping got me calling the cops and having them removed incensed the new no 13 residents who drove across our frontage until the council put a stop to it. Looking at th...

Any reported foul language in all registered clubs in New South Wales Australia will see the person or persons involved in such shown the door very quickly. Now on the other side of the coin; meaning where the monetary greed of clubs outweighs the moral beliefs of management and patrons alike, certain types of entertainment is tolerated behind closed sections of clubs where members who agree to pay obscene fees to be  hum - entertained by grossly obscene performers - takes place. The vast majority of persons who are bombarded by this filth and abusive bilge are mostly the beer swilling brigade whose other attributes amount to little such as the likes of dimwits  pedophiles and other dragged up morons with less brain function than a Rocking horse Last night the local registered club of my choice had an ugly looking moron  named 'Rodney Rude 'performing on stage. According to the Club it was a sell out with another show in the offing prior to Christmas, but sadl...

" Oh all right  ladies  you may have a squizz but it is rather a Man thingy." Being an elderly bloke and with elderly bloke problems which  mainly  affect all males from age fifty and beyond, the waterworks becomes a persistent aggravation which can balloon out to many other serious ailments. Having this problem sorted out 21 years ago kept me free from concern until three years ago when  it  returned  and with a vengeance, then after a series of hospital visits I am now supposedly clear of any WW problems, although continual monitoring the flow when I go; mainly mornings when at home gives me peace of mind, however, this morning I trotted off to the loo and grabbed the two lire white plastic container from the eye level window shelf and dropped Percy into the container to provide a morning sample, looking down I got the fright of my life seeing this female funnel web spider rearing up adjacent to my appendage. Let it be known I am familiar with thes...