The Daily Gaggle

Or a Mother of a problem. Forward into the future people world wide with the exception of those bogged down with archaic religious problems may find themselves celebrating  'Parent 1 Day' instead of 'Fathers or Mothers day'. That seems to be the logic of present moves to include 'parent 1 and parent 2 in Australian passports' seen as a means of accommodating the descriptive means of same sex couples. Could be problems there, who gets to decide which parent is assigned each number, could parent 2 even be the victim of numerical  discrimination. Perhaps same sex applications could list both parents as fathers or mothers. Problem solved. Are you a Quitter. Whether you are an ABC music quiz show or parliament speaker, quitting can leave on lookers with a  disappointed, bereft sensation. Just keep doing the job for ever and ever so we can feel secure and comfortable. However if you really really must quit try very hard not to release an album  of love song...

  Even if you are paying in cash, but mandatory when using any card system. The big retailers particularly the supermarkets do not automatically hand you a receipt anymore if the sale is under $30. you must ask for it… CHECK YOUR RECEIPTS BEFORE LEAVING THE CHECK-OUT An associate bought a heap of stuff the other day while on holidaying in Melbourne (over $450), & when he glanced at his receipt as the cashier was handing him the bags. He saw cash out of $20. He told her He didn't request any cash and to delete it. She said he'd have to take the $20 because she couldn't delete it. He told Her to call a supervisor. Supervisor came and said he'd have to take it.. he said “NO Bloody way!” Because taking the $20 would be a “cash advance” against his Credit card and he wasn't paying interest on a cas...

        Suckhole journo's heaping gushing praise on those wealthy international oversexed  golfing creeps like "Victorious Shark has crack at Tiger" what a load of bollocks and gobbledygook. If I had my way Huge golf courses would be used for growing spuds for export to starving nations. should my number three and four son's rebuke me for this outburst; too bad.       Colonel Gaddafi's son Seif al - Islam will receive a Fair Trial (ha ha) following his capture yesterday. This will be followed by a swift lopping of his nogging by Scimitar shortly after.        The sex lives of pensioners or aged persons have a significant impact on their marital satisfaction and general happiness. A study of a large range of over 65's found 60% had sex more than once a month and were happy compared to only 40% who had not had sex for a year. About 80% who had sex more than once a month said they were very ...

The Daily Telegraph -  my favourite newspaper delivered daily to my door, has always had a stack of editing problems. Today we have their so called history writer Ann Beveridge bashing out yet another saga about the sinking of the Royal Australian Navy light Cruiser The HMAS Sydney. It would seem every year this mysterious wartime occurrence is churned out, so if by chance this story has passed you by , this can be seen on line on the Sat edition of the Daily Telegraph  Nov 19. 2011. Today this story Starts: ... THE Australian Battleship the HMAS Sydney sank 70 years ago to day on November 19, 1941.  No need to repeat what happened every man jack has heard this story umpteen times , it's enough for jolly jack to ditch his Tot. History writers like in this case should checkout the facts before confusing the public. A Battleship it was not, The HMAS Sydney was a light cruiser as in a type of  WARSHIP . Warships come in many categories shapes an...

       Being an Orphan without monetary advantage and with minimal, or better put - inadequate education, and the possibility of a higher education out of reach, the struggle to learn becomes one's own responsibility. I have only my tutors to blame for any ignorance on my part; and any semblance of intelligence I should be held accountable for.        I was not a philological prodigy. I lacked that uncanny gift which some people have for language structure which seems akin to a gift for music or calculation. I never became concerned with the metaphysical aspects of language.( I am not interested in Chomsky.That places me.) And I never thought of myself as a 'writer' or though I have tried to become one. I do have the opinion I am a fairly good plodder With an aptitude for grammar when necessary and a love of words understood by the masses.       Few so called writers have the same abil...

Those lovely British people love Australia, despite the Aussies  desire to become Crickets all time losers. It could be the time again to import a few foreign players by giving a few well paid ball belters a temporary or Keppler Wessells type citizenship.  Retraining depleted and worn mouth wallers such as Andrew  M could solve the wicket keeping crises ( providing he could be fitted with a pair of mouth gloves. However, the British people still love this sun burnt country and like myself have voted it the best place on Earth to live or just visit. Australia finished on top place  ahead of Spain and Italy and America was the poor loser. Tourism  from the U/K was worth $2 Billion a year. Again However, I have a sneaky feeling most of the money coming in is from Brit pensions being paid to expat Brits living here. At least 30% of my retirement income is sourced from Great Britain. Most Australians cannot recognise every day vegetable...

      The Lakesides burglar who we will call beer belly Bill was caught red handed by a guy  we will call Fred who saw him jammed in his neighbours bathroom window late at night. Fred's neighbour we will call Alan was contacted by phone at a local club  and minutes later Fred and Alan assessed the situation and it seems the struggling burglar was jammed in the tight fitting window simply because the push up window lever with hole's for varied degrees of opening had come loose and the spoke on the ledge had jammed into his belt buckle. Beer belly Bills plaintive pleas for help were mingled with the pain he was feeling, he had kicked away the bin which had assisted his entry of  Alan's bathroom window where he was now firmly jammed. Alan then proceeded to photograph both ends of this writhing monster who was now saying sorry and pleading with Alan not to call the cops, Fred then found Bills wallet and  Alan photocopied his details ...

Last Man in Hits highest score on Debut,... Ducks Galore....But keep calm . this is no reason to commit suicide, the game is not yet over. Aussie fans 'Have a nice day '.... Vest.

CURRY CONTEST If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America . Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges ( Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event:...

The year Ad 2001.  November 5, WW3  started. Nearly a quarter of a million Oriental troops landed on the Sydney beaches in an attempt to overthrow the Australian Govt and suppress its people and colonise the land. On the same day in Europe (Guy Fawlkes Day). North European forces landed  1 million troops on the South coast of  England in order to install a Salami culture and destroy England's 'Black Pudding Industry' which had flooded the supermarket shelves on the European Continent. After several months of conflict on both fronts the Oriental forces decided to give up and retire due to the shortage of dim sims and soy sauce and the resolute defence of the Strayans, and the invaders of England were suffering from ingesting too much Yorkshire pudding and a shortage of vodka. Many sad tales of these warring incidents have been recounted over the past decade, and so to revive old memories, delegations from the former invading countries, meaning people led by fa...

1 .. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2 . Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..' 3 . A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.' 4 . I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5 . I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.' 6 . My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7 A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. 8 . I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskim...

For starters I am one of many persons who do not go along with that old wives tale, people who have a working brain will totally ignore this cup day hype. Of course if you are a thieving turf accountant (Bookie) it will bring tidings of great joy, Santa clause eat your heart out..  Horses are better employed pulling carts and ploughs and other means of transport and providing manure for the garden, also rides for kiddies. Old geezers have been known to take this horse riding practice to further their amorous pursuit of buxom blonde  riding instructors. however, I shall not waffle on about that. If it is your  first visit to the race track, you will be overawed by the constant palaver and near the end you will see fewer happy smiling faces than those with glum faces and empty pockets. But the thing which should be the dead giveaway to punters is you will find more Betting windows than paying out windows. I lived for two years looking straight at the 'Happ...

Has the whole civilised world gone nuts? PLEASE WATCH AND PASS ON: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN6CHtGGo4g There are also other YouTube videos worth watching.

          Do not continue reading if you are a wimp or squeamish.   Draconian Drug laws in Malaysia and Singapore deciding the fate of Australian drug users and peddlers. would save the treasury a heap of revenue to be usefully spent elsewhere. The families of drug paddlers and users could be indicted for not informing on those, who have knowingly profited from  this illegal activity. Those people who would normally stand trial in Australia and if convicted - which would probably be the best case scenario, would serve out their time in Australia with enormous cost to the taxpayer. Well not if I had my way. These morons should be given a one way ticket to either Singapore or Malaysia depending on who was available.  Offenders could then be instructed to finance their defence with their ill gotten gains or in special circumstances which would be far cheaper than in Australia. Should by the odd chance a mis...

(BEIJING) — A toddler who was twice run over by vans and then ignored by passers-by on a busy market street in southern China has died a week after the accident and after days of bitter soul-searching in the country. A nurse in the intensive care unit of the Guangzhou Military District General Hospital confirmed that the 2-year-old girl, Wang Yue, died early Friday. She declined to reveal the cause of death, saying it would be announced later. (See more analysis of the incident that has scarred China's conscience.) The plight of the child, nicknamed Yueyue, came to symbolize what many Chinese see as a decay in public morals after decades of headlong pursuit of economic growth. Her death touched off another round of hand-wringing. Many comments posted to social media sites said "we are all passers-by." See TIME's Top 10 of Everything of 2010. See TIME's most unforgettable Read more: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2097491,00.html...

China Email Story Send to a Friend . Del.icio.us Facebook Stumbleupon Newsvine Yahoo bookmarks Mixx Digg Reddit Google Bookmarks Twitter LinkedIn Yueyue, a 2-year-old, moments before she is hit by a truck in Foshan City in China. (Credit: Chinasmack.com via Youku) The video from Foshan City of Guangdong Province in China is unequivocal: A two-year-old is seen lying in a pool of blood on a market street having just been hit by a truck, which sped away after slowly running over her with its back wheels too, after which more than a dozen people walk around the toddler, non offering help. The child, named Yueyue, survived the accident, after a 56-year-old rag collector finally came to her rescue and dragged her out of the road, but not before a second truck hit the girl, according to China Daily . She is now, however, in rough shape - "brain dead," doctors say - and is unlikely to survive. By itself, the video (WARNING: Graphic violence) ...

Video of ignored dying toddler shocks China Footage of a two-year-old girl being run over by a van and lying bleeding on the road as more than a dozen people pass her by has sparked outrage and soul searching in China. The video surveillance footage ... More Sign up for regular email news updates from nzherald.co.nz - click here . Visit nzherald.co.nz throughout the day for the latest breaking new

Where I live on the Central coast of NSW IN Australia we are blessed with a fair selection of options when it comes to supermarket shopping. Within a radius of eight klms there are to my knowledge no fewer than seven supermarkets, some of which who recently  started advertising specials on a Wednesday instead of the usual pension and social security hand out day on Thursdays. Not to be out done the next move was by another supermarket to get their specials out on Tuesday. However, to get their nose in front of the big guys, the smallest supermarket chain has gone to the extreme and  has  advertised that their "Big Birthday Bonus" Today Mon Oct 17, I G A  Stores are open from seven am to eight pm and nearest store is minutes away. It is advertising more than a dozen major specials. So having nothing better to do but  help the struggling store we arrived at the nearest I G A store in Buff Point. I recall seeing this store quite sometime back when w...

Excerpt from my fav daily: Denpasar Jail Bali. ALONE and afraid,the NSW schoolboy locked up in Bali was left stranded in his cell while prison officers rushed outside as an earthquake rattled the island yesterday. Sources said the 14 year old facing up to six years in jail for drug possession, was ordered to "Stay Put" as the police station was evacuated. did he have any options? "I'll presume then that, this young offender had the opportunity to leave but was ordered to stay, So was his cell unlocked? I doubt that too. seems daft to me, but not the usual happening where Muslim rats leave the sinking ship." SYDNEY has beaten Paris and New York  to be voted the worlds best No 1 city by readers of a luxury travel magazine.      The Conde Nast Traveler Readers Choice Awards held in New York, voted the Harbour City their favourite spot. The readers of Conte Nast Traveler gave Sydney a score of 85.1 ahead of the next highest scoring city, Florence at...

1943. After surrendering to Allied forces in WW2, Italy declares war on Germany, its former Axis partner. Vest Say's; I always considered them to be a bunch of Wimps. As most of the guns on their warships faced aft in order to fire on opposing ships while fleeing the battle. 2004. An intoxicated Supreme court Judge  Jeff Shaw will join the list of other disgraced NSW and Fed  supreme court judges after crashing his Alfa Romeo into a parked vehicle in Birchgrove, he resigns soon after. Vest Say's,  Judge not lest thou be Judged. 1986. Former Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser speaks at the Memphis USA Country Club, He is found next morning minus his passport, wallet and trousers...... Hmm!!! naughty Malcolm. Vest Say's. Local Sydney DJ's  rustle up ancient recordings of silly Scottish  song, "Donald where's your troozers" Tragic news from Ireland, Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater C...