Once again
readers are invited to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition.
Here are some examples
§ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax
refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
with.
§ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a
hillbilly.
§ Bozone (n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
§ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted
very, very
high.
§ Sarchasm: The gulf between the
author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get
it.
§ Inoculatte: To take coffee
intravenously when you are running
late.
§ Osteopornosis: A degenerate
disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
§ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody
is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, really
bad.
§ Decafalon (n): The grueling event of
getting through the day consuming only things that are good for
you
§ Dopeler
Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you
rapidly.
§ Arachnoleptic
Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider
web.
§ Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn
after finding half a worm in the fruit you're
eating.
Here are the submissions in which readers were
asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
§ Coffee, n. The person upon whom
one coughs.
§ Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by
discovering how much weight one has
gained.
§ Abdicate v. To give up all hope of
ever having a flat
stomach.
§ Esplanade, v. To attempt an
explanation while
drunk.
§ Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly
answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
§ Lymph, v. To walk with a
lisp.
§ Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured
mouthwash.
§ Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding
hairline.
§ Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian
proctologist.
§ Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles
his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
§ Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after
death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.
Add your submissions to these lists in the comment s section.
My wife who has a memory recall problem, suddenly this morning reminded me of a Lt David Griffith RN who was our neighbour in H/Kong in the mid 60's Who referred to the Tissues called Sneeze Proof Scotties , as Sqeeze Proof Snotties. David. I haven't heard from since leaving U/K in 1971. David would be about 78 now..
Vest... back soon.
My wife who has a memory recall problem, suddenly this morning reminded me of a Lt David Griffith RN who was our neighbour in H/Kong in the mid 60's Who referred to the Tissues called Sneeze Proof Scotties , as Sqeeze Proof Snotties. David. I haven't heard from since leaving U/K in 1971. David would be about 78 now..
Vest... back soon.
8 comments:
I do like a lot of these. Unfortunately at the moment my brain has gone out to lunch (without inviting me) so I won't be adding to them in the short term.
Oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. I laughed at the one.
I wonder if my vacuum cleaner would suck away my Bozone layer?
RE last Para.
Would this also refer to as - Hugging a Midshipman in the RN ?...
Mike.
LDL: I never got around to hugging Middies or Midshipmen whilst in the RN neither was I tempted to. but I suspect a lot of illegal liaisons went undetected
However, I like a middy of Beer on occasions.
Elephants Child:
I also struggle to add to this list, my brain is in permanent lunch mode.
River:
I don't recall having used or given thought to using a vacuum cleaner, or though its some time ago since when I preferred the conventional method.
SHMUCK River.
'Slogan': adj; a dimwiited bogan
or "Slowgan" perj: "Slow thinking voter".
Yer, give a few days, Vestie, have only recently read this request - need to consult my Websters.
Classic challenge (and PS am not Psst every day .... heh).
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