Will the 'Old Bill,' Bill Will and should Kate be Billed too as well as Will?

     IT stood out like a sore thumb; or were you blinded by the Gaudy Frivolity and failed to notice the plethora of  Ministry of Transport offences; namely, flagrantly and comptemptuously defying the Motor Vehicle seat belt laws , IE the wearing of such as supplied to a M O T Registered Motor vehicle.
    "Allo allo, may I see your licence sir," does not apply to those with blue blood so it seems. So the wearing of a seat belt will not attract a fine for the Royals and their retinue at Bill and Kate's nuptials last Friday, However, if you are a clever dick, and have been nicked recently for 'Not wearing a seat belt' It might pay you to instruct your ambulance chaser to plead not guilty on your behalf,  This does not mean you have to lie or prove you are of royal blood. But you must state you are impoverished compared to that of the  Royals who are flouting their own parliamentary laws, And that you will gladly pay your fine provided that, the Ministry of Transport can produce legally attested proof that those Royal Pikers have also paid their fine. Or you could send your fine to her majesty bless her, It has been said that she has a generous heart.

I recall in my Memoirs below.

While in Hong Kong, Rosemary would buy ice cream from the vendor
across the road. One day she was attempting to get back over the zebra

crossing but the traffic wouldn't stop. The ice cream was melting fast, so
Mary ran across. A taxi stopped suddenly and there was a huge pile-up.

The road was blocked for quite some time with several banged-up cars.
Many fingers pointed up to where we lived.
Our first car was a four square Jowett Javelin, but we later opted for a
Blue Ford Prefect XX511, which gave us two years of comfort and


One beautiful sunny day, we caught the car ferry over to Kowloon

and drove to Castle Peak Bay, where I parked under a tree, the shadiest

spot available. As we were leaving, I was presented with a parking ticket.

It wasn't a huge amount. The following week when we arrived again, I

found the Governor General.s car parked in the exact same spot. I

approached the Chinese policeman who spoke English, and asked why

this car did not  have a ticket.

He replied, "Very important man".
I said, "So am I"..

".Your car not look as important as this car" he said.

I then took a picture of said oriental genius with the Governor General.s Very

Important car and sent it to the Hong Kong traffic people, along with a

note indicating that my money would be forthcoming when they had
provided proof that the Governor General had paid his fine.

Never heard from them.

Our XX511 Ford Prefect had never been in an accident in eighteen

months. After we sold it, however, it failed to stop after leaving from
high in the Peak and travelling fast down Garden road. It then pranged a

large green tram that was coming from Wan Chai and was subsequently written off.

 That sad incident occurred two days before our family flew
back to England. On hearing the news Rosemary said .What a shame; I really
loved that car.. I replied. ".Darling it must have loved us too, it just could
not live without us". By the way, the driver survived.
Enjoy the forthcoming week, back soon.......... VEST.




WALLY. said…
It took some time fo me to figure out the title of this post vesty.it will confuse most yanks, i think you mean the old bill is the police.
Old Gert said…
I'm sorry ossifur ive had one too many and wearing a seat belt would crumple my bridesmaid dress. dun tink you would get off on that lame excuse in Aussieland
Vest said…
Probably my post has left a few Cavaliers miffed. Chuck the 3rd designate suppoters, be aware I am not a member of the new O C model A mob, all though once I rested where in 1643 J Hampden met his fate.

No one should be above the law, but don't take my skit too seriously.
Andrew....IMS. said…
Toilet Paper Rip-Off

Over the past few years, some companies have changed their Product Prices in an unsuspecting way.

I only Mention One Company product here, as I have one of each of these packages.
But it seems that all these toilet paper manufacturers are doing this and at about the same times.

I Don't have Exact Dates as the Packages are not Dated.

Around 2002 a roll of "Purex brand" Toilet paper contained 270 Sheets. (Weight per Roll is 110 Grams)

(These are all "Pillowy Soft", "24 Roll packages of 2 Ply tissue".)
Sheet Sizes have stayed the same.

Next it went down to 250 Sheets per roll. (Weight per Roll is 108 Grams)

About 1998 it went down to 198 Sheets per roll. (Weight per Roll is 90 Grams)

Now in 2010, it is Only 150 Sheets per roll. (Weight per Roll now is 71 Grams)

Unless you have these rolls to compare, All rolls Look about the Same Size,
But now they are Just PUFFED UP to look as big.

Purex has Now Reduced these rolls to "135 Sheets" per roll,
But the Weight still seems to be 71 Grams per roll.
Back in April, 2010 by phone, I Asked this company:
"What will they do when they get to just One Sheet per Roll"?


My Problem with this is:
Since the Price has stayed the same It doesn't reflect on the "Cost of Living Index".

But in reality it has almost Doubled in price.
This is BAD News for persons on Fixed Incomes.

And Toilet Paper is Only ONE Example of this Reduced size/Same Price.

I have also noticed numerous other product doing the same thing.
Vest said…
Thank you Andrew for your latest Dunny-Loo-WC-toilet etc Bottom wipe update.
So upon your advice it would seem prudent to increase the thickness of one's favourite wipe. Great idea, it should prevent penetration by one's index finger to the orifice.
Andrew: your Q is out of sync with my post, unless of course you intend to use this post to encourage the Water Company to have people fit belts to toilet seats.
Vest said…
Andrew, IMS. There is another possibility where lavatory seat belts have a plausible application and that is in airline toilets AKA Squeeze boxes.
The astonishing velocity (speed)of departing effluent from these is frightening,and men in particular would be well advised to exit the seat prior to pressing the 'Clear' button.
AMY.. Swansea. said…
Surely you haven't been around since 1643 and who is J Hampden?
Oh and Chuck 3?
C A. said…
Belt up has another meaning Vest. it means 'Shut your trap.'
Andrew..IMS. said…
I can't understand why people don't use cash anymore?
It is cheaper than using credit card or automatic withdraws.
Also you will spend less when using cash.

I also find it amazing how many companies automate to
eliminate employees.
But they still expect people to buy from them.
However, "If no one works, no one can afford to buy anything
Jimmy said…
did her panties show ?
Jimmy said…
I get his mail from AU
Vest said…
Amy: John Hampden 1594-1643 five years senior to Oliver Cromwell 1599-1658 Both uni grads & pollies.
I lived in the house which supposedly occupied the spot where Hampden was mortally wounded during the battle of Chalgrove Field Eng/Civil war, He died at the town of Thame eight days following his mishap..It has been said he took refuge in St Mary's Church Chalgrove.
Although Gray's Elegy has many claiments to its actual place,
Key words give Chalgrove the edge because of the brook babbling by also the yew trees and the mention of Hampden in its content..

Google, 'Grays elegy written in an English churchyard'.
Vest said…
C A: My fav person from San Fran.

Thanks for the Info. Now do it.
Vest said…
Amy: I forgot to mention Chuck 3 Designate, is none other than 'Big Ears the Queen of England's senior Son,OK?
Charles the third, Maybe???
WALLY. said…
Hi Old Gert, Are you the sheila we sing about in the OZ Anthem.
Vest said…
Jimmy. Andrew..IMS, lives in Sydney. I first met him when he said he was 42 in the Eighties, he is nearer to 70 than he is 60.

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