Friday, 8 October 2010

Seems those short cut Indians do have a sense of humour.

Posted by Jimmy. Our D G correspondent in Delhi

1) BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed



2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not Ayodhya



3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal's tally.



4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.



5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium? A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)



6) Whats common between CWG committee and students??? Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour.....



7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi , this may be his last chance to become the king!



8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games! We now know these countries existed!



9) Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega



10) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away



11) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, we are having a Common Loot Game. Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for me too, for spoiling India 's name!



12) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters "Sir U made lakhs" you get "SURESH KALMADI



13) Next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games



14) Paying homage to the latest blockbuster "Munni badnaam hui" from "Dabangg",



15) "Sheila Dixit to Kalmadi: Delhi badnaam hui darling tere liye!". "Sadkein bhi jam hui, CWG tere liye".



16) "Suresh Kalmadi must be the first choice if ISRO goes for trial and error experiments for manned space mission,"



17) Muslim bodies have agreed to an out of court settlement and allowed the construction of the Ram temple provided its supervised by Suresh Kalmad

19 comments:

Jimmy said...

Heyy VEST
u r in deep shit

or u r going to make a huge fortune

Jimmy said...

Tara gave me a copy of the letter she rote to u

Even though I don’t understand your refusal to take advantage of the amazing chance being offered to you, I had to write you one last time, VEST, for no other reason than a sincere desire to help you.



How can I make you understand? You must realize that by doing nothing you’ll never improve your situation.



Let’s look at the facts:

- The numerological analysis I did for you free of charge was perfectly clear: triple 5 is going to enter your life cycle, with all the fantastic opportunities that implies.

- I’m offering you my happy life talisman. Its ancestral power will help you transform the opportunities that arise for you into concrete realities.

- I’ll tell you exactly what to do and when to do it, to trigger a completely new cycle in your life, one that brings you happiness, love and success.

- I’ll also give you my formal guarantee that you won’t lose a single penny.



So you see, VEST, you have no reason to hesitate. Don’t waste time and act now !

Vest said...

Jimmy: you tell Tara to pop over here as I am into triggering and new life cycles, now that my trigger is in good working order, re Waterworks.
Tara's message may have been deleted by Rose as spam or a touch of jealousitis.

Jimmy said...

Tara chose me
u were playing too hard to get

Jimmy said...

America ...... Hahahahahahaha

Jimmy said...

All the world – and his book reviewer – says that Jonathan Franzen writes the “great American novel”.

If so, this all-American, very American story is to America what Danish pastry is to Denmark – not immediately recognizable in the country whose name it bears. Franzen takes the stereotype – every stereotype – and squeezes it so hard it becomes a dry lump of an idea of America.

Jimmy said...

So he has the liberal Good Samaritan couple next door; the flirtatious, badly behaved single mother; the clever child who has underage sex regularly with a neighbour two years older than him; the randy rock star who disdains publicity;

the pretty and loving Bengali girl whose accent is a bit chee-chee; the rich Jewish family; their bored and beautiful daughter who expects to marry into the style she’s accustomed to;

Halliburton-esque military contractors sending astoundingly useless and outrageously expensive equipment to GIs in Iraq; the Republican smartie pants who play and win on Wall Street. And on and on and on.

Jimmy said...

Franzen takes every idea that anyone ever thought symbolized America after the Twin Towers attack and moulds it into this single volume, American-style Forsyte saga.

Like John Galsworthy’s three-novel “Forsyte Saga”, it addresses timeworn themes such as duty versus desire and generational change.

So far so good. But then like an American-style “Tracts for the Times”, which led the 19th century English movement for the Protestant Reformation, Franzen’s “Freedom” veers crazily into environmental activism, population control and the excesses of conservative Republicanism.

Jimmy said...

Along the way, Patty and Walter, the liberal couple that is the centerpiece – falls apart; their clever son marries – and finds he really really loves – the adoring, slightly boneheaded girl he’s been sleeping with since he was a tweenager.

There is enough mobility – through cities, professions, relationships – to keep it all discernibly 21st century American.

But is it? It is a parody of America. The world’s idea of America, over-privileged, under-entitled.


Franzen, who was recently on the cover of TIME magazine, is being described as the heir to Bellow, Updike and Roth. He certainly writes well. Patty, for instance, is described as “a sunny carrier of sociocultural pollen, an affable bee...famously averse to speaking well of herself or ill of anybody else” in an acerbic, unassailably true take on liberal yuppies.

Jimmy said...

But then he muddies it all with pop-sociology: “…it wasn’t the people with sociable genes who fled the crowded Old World for the new continent; it was the people who didn’t get on well with others”.

Americans, Franzen seems to suggest, are best portrayed as cut-out and colour-in one-dimensional characters, rather than unique, complex individuals.

Perhaps, Max Beerbohm, the English wit, put it best: We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans.

Jimmy said...

READ this too ..

http://imnutsincaps-jimmy.blogspot.com/2010/10/about-vest-and-british.html

Jimmy said...

the Racist ...

For more than 45 years, the Winston Churchill book industry has purred along smoothly, cosseted by western biographers in thrall of a man described as the most important statesman of the 20th century.

In a 2002 BBC poll, Winston Churchill was voted the "Greatest Briton of All Time", ahead of Shakespeare, Darwin and Newton.

Richard Toye's new biography, "Churchill's Empire: The World That Made Him and The World He Made" sets his life and politics in a modern context.

Previous biographers of Churchill such as William Manchester ("The Caged Lion") tip-toed around their subject.

The occasional attempt to uncover Churchill's racism, especially his contempt for Mahatma Gandhi, dissolved quickly into platitudes that justified Empire as a force for good.

Jimmy said...

Churchill's racism, Toye suggests, was acceptable in the early 1900s because almost all white people and Vest held racist views at the time.

This sophistry is the principal reason why this biography, so promising in precept, fails in practice. Churchill's dysfunctional family forged his attitude to race, imperialism and war.

His father, Lord Randolph Churchill, briefly Britain's Chancellor of the Exchequer, "actually loathed Winston", wrote Manchester.

His mother, a beautiful American named Jennie Jerome, "devoted most of her time to sexual intrigue, slipping between the sheets with handsome, powerful men in Britain, in the United States, and on the Continent.

Jimmy said...

Her husband was in no position to object. He was an incurable syphilitic."

A father who loathes you and a mother who embarrasses you (one of her lovers was the Prince of Wales) are not a recipe for a happy childhood and Winston's was not.

He went to Harrow, came last in class, flunked Oxford and Cambridge and was packed off to Sandhurst as a consolation prize.

Churchill's lack of a university education nagged him throughout his adult life and he acquired many affectations to disguise it.

Jimmy said...

there were just 2 places he cud go
India or the penal colony Australia

Jimmy said...

Churchill arrived in India in 1895, aged 20. He spent his time in Bangalore reading Plato, Aristotle, Gibbon, Macaulay and Schopenhauer, honing his skill with words and ideas.

They were to serve him well in later years. Churchill inveigled the Prince of Wales to get him plum war reporting assignments.

By 1899, he was in South Africa, covering the Boer war. He was imprisoned, escaped heroically and became nationally famous at 24.

He was elected to parliament and, by 33, was a cabinet minister. It would take him, despite ambition and single-mindedness, another 32 years to become prime minister.

Jimmy said...

Toye acknowledges Churchill's pathological aversion to India and how he wished Partition upon the subcontinent.

"The mere mention of India," he writes, "brought out a streak of unpleasantness or even irrationality in Churchill.

In March 1943, R A Butler, the education minister, visited him at Chequers. The prime minister 'launched into a most terrible attack on the 'baboos', saying that they were gross, dirty and corrupt.

He even declared that he wanted the British to leave India, and – this was a more serious remark – that he supported the principle of Pakistan.

When Butler argued that the Raj had always stood for Indian unity, Churchill replied, 'Well, if our poor troops have to be kept in a sweltering, syphilitic climate for the sake of your precious unity, I'd rather see them have a good civil war.' "

Jimmy said...

Toye devotes less than three pages to Churchill's malign role in the Great Bengal Famine of 1943-44.

Britain's plunder of India is dispensed with equally briskly: "One factor that increased Churchill's resentment towards India was the issue of the sterling balances.

These were British debts chalked up in London in exchange for goods and services required for the war effort.

These grew, in total, from £1,299 million in December 1941 to £3,355 million in June 1945, of which around one-third was owed to India.

From one perspective, this was very good news for the UK. She was, in effect, extracting an enormous forced loan which she was unlikely to have to repay in the near future."

Globally, reviewers have called this biography "revisionist". It is not. It exposes Churchill's warts
but, often in the same paragraph, presents a contextual justification for them.

The concluding lines of Toye's book reveal where his sympathies lie: "The decline of Churchill's Empire, much as the man himself regretted it, can be seen in part as a tribute to the power of beliefs that he himself prized dearly."

Jimmy said...

It is a disappointing end to a biography that sets out to critically re-examine Churchill but fails the final test, unheroically, like Churchill himself.

(The writer is the biographer of Rajiv Gandhi)


Read more: Why Churchill had an aversion to India - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/sunday-toi/book-mark/Why-Churchill-had-an-aversion-to-India/articleshow/6674438.cms#ixzz11xhE2R73

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