The Daily Gaggle

Got back to our castle from the club Via my mates house about 2am, much goings on - still a bit of  swearing and people necking in the shrubbery, the bang clang music still blaring due to the neighbours being away places distant, I slept in the gardener's cottage(Shed) til 0800, was wakened by the visiting family of magpies tucking into several piles of vomit amid the cans bottles a broken glass reminiscent of a Barry Dog's Head Barby and general piss up. The local handyman had been summoned to clean up the chaos and had just returned from the local park after depositing the last three drunks from our back garden. Previously invitations had been sent to people with an option to bring a friend and their own grog and for those who were poor a selection of the cheapest plonk was available from the family cellar. Several half cooked steaks on the Barby being attacked by ants were cut up and fed to a couple of large crows, one of whom had flown off earlier with a condom so I was inf...

What a shame, we could have enjoyed a merry Christmas and a happy end of the world all in one, dun fink its gonnahappen folks; so we may now continue our debauchery murder and love-hate relationships until the next stupid prediction.... Australia luckily has an advantage over most of the world and should be the first to experience the planet's doom, as predicted by ancient soothsayers of the extinct Mayan civilisation which disappeared a fair while back, so any further advice from the archives of these extinct geezers should be taken with a pinch of salt - or garlic if you are Latino or Hispanic....... Much more likely; is that we will all still be here come Saturday, in one form or another. Hopefully this could be the end for end of the world predictions...... Tomorrow pinch yourself to be sure....... Back soon Vest. BTW.For those readers of my blog who live on other planets, and I know a few of these non earthlings, Watch it Mate, your next.

Very few of my callers who comment on this blog are relatives. Hands up those who have called recently, It would help to compile my LWAT which is lacking legatees. Thank you Gerry for your glowing report on Christmas. Plus your Christmas good wishes, purely out of politeness in response to my own good wishes to you. Gerry said Sunday, December 16, 2012 Christmas I have trouble with Christmas. I am not a Christian. I am an agnostic with atheistic leanings who thinks Jesus was a dissident Jewish rabbi and brilliant spiritual teacher who got crucified for upsetting the religion-political apple cart. I'm quite impressed by his Sermon on the Mount, but that's about it. Let's move on, folks. However, this time of year, every year, I am bombarded with "Merry Christmas" wishes, mostly from people who aren't all that Christian either. Certainly their ability (or willingness) to live according to the Nazarene's teachings seems to be as dismal as mine. ...

"That's right, absolutely stupid" It should become the first of UncleSamlands plethora of daft amendments to be re-amended, better still abolished. Most of us are aware of the backlash one receives from brain-dead redneck boozy shooters every time this disgusting privilege is threatened, but the outcry worldwide regarding the latest slaughter of innocent children and their teachers hopefully will bring to the minds of all that this is the final straw enough is enough. ..... Since the end of the Illegal invasion of Vietnam by the (USA Who I refer to as the New Germans) approx 50,000 souls have died in the USA from domestic and criminal usage of firearms, this figure is similar to that of the number of USA military deaths during the conflict in Vietnam, but multiply that figure by five and we may be near the number of deceased Vietnamese who perished in that unnecessary war. ..... However we may be on the brink of change. But some USA Cits will tell us that it is none our ...

Merry Christmas to ALL!! A Christmas Story 'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the Tax office sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They wan...

To create perfection takes time. Dissatisfaction within your Marriage or Recognised Partnership known as the 'Seven Year itch, allegedly occurs after seven years of marriage. The pace of modern life being what it is , we seem to have accelerated the process and are hitting the seven year distance within one year, and it seems more couples are unhappiest during their first year of togetherness than those which follow. The phrase honeymoon period' clearly needs rethinking, but it is still worth considering why there should be so much dissatisfaction so early. Possibly it may be due to our present day culture being so demanding of every thing being immediate. However, most happily married couples know that perfection takes time. Give it more than one year at least. ....................................................................................... WHAT IS A HUSBAND. A Husband is a man you really like and really love - he's the closest frien...

Leading up to the festive season Vest will be busily involved with matters other than blogging. but may squeeze in a pre Xmas post depending on time allowing such.So matters blogging will be left for My dear lady to sort out. Back soon. Vest.

Despite the Mayan prophesy and other clap trap , soothsayers predictions and confirmation by Madam Carbon tax herself, sod all has happened and I'll bet Quids it will not. Take a squiz at this. Or do you think it may be a little late arriving for some obscure reason. Have your say before it is too late. http://www.youtube.com/embed/j1LR5gabUJc?list=UUd2KNtfphz8HvYzM4pwtHmg&hl=en_US

A couple of days ago I made a trip to Dan Murphy's Plonk emporium, Dan M flogs his grog at a discount that makes other suppliers of bottled headaches wince. beside the 2 cases of beer; a case of Shiraz and other misc spirits, six bottles of JW Red size L 1.25 was a huge saving on the reg 700ml bottle price. Then on surfacing this morning er indoors handed me my Sydney Daily Telegraph( delivered daily to our door), together with my large glass of filtered water followed by a cuppa with one sugar. it was then shortly after I realised I should have bought JW Black instead of Red. A Kiwi guy named Dennis Duthie aged 65 had got stuck into the Vodka big time, Dennis from Taranaki New Zealand is a diabetic and the plonk he had been gargling had horrible reactions with his medication and sent him blind. Doctors at the local hospital realised he was suffering from formaldehyde poisoning sometimes treated by administering ethanol known to be in whiskey and treated Dennis with a Johnny Wal...

Sydney NSW. Today it was announced in my Fave news paper(Delivered daily to my door)that a Battleship had arrived on our shores. Of course most intelligent people would know that, in this day and age , no such thing as a Battleship exists any more other than those used as memorials and have become shore bound, or in this case the figment of the imagination of The Sydney Daily Telegraph's MS Caroline Marcus whose knowledge re the international classification of Naval ships is sadly lacking. ...................................................................................... So let's get this cock up straightened out. The South Korean Naval Vessel visiting our shores on a friendly visit which is obvious otherwise it would have been sunk by our by our half/asleep Navy by now, is not a Battleship; MS Caroline Marcus. It is a Warship of Destroyer classification. All Naval ships are Warships and come under Submarines, Frigates, Destroyers cruisers, Aircraft carriers, And Bat...

Dear Vest, NRMA Roadside Survey - tell us what you think! At NRMA Motoring & Services we are constantly striving to improve the value and service we provide to our Members. In order to do this, we are very interested in receiving feedback on your recent breakdown experience. This feedback provides input into our continuous customer service improvement program. You may have received this survey in the past in relation to a previous breakdown. We would still appreciate you completing this new survey for your most recent experience. The survey should take no more than 10-12 minutes to complete. If you were not the main person involved with the roadside assistance call out yourself, please feel free to forward it onto the relevant person by clicking here. Thanks for telling us what you think! Melody King Group Member Experience Manager NRMA Motoring & Services. Vest Say's. Being a NRMA member for 41 years and now a gold member to boot, I expect and get ex...

Royal Wedding plus a trip to the Med and Exodus. ....................................................................................... The wedding of Princess Elisabeth and Prince Phillip on Wednesday November 20 - 1947 did not get my full attention being there were far more important things afoot that were soon to add another facet to that what was expected of me as a Naval person. Sailing that day from Portsmouth taking passage on A/C HMS Illustrious of WW2 fame, we called into Gibraltar on our way to Malta. On arrival I joined HMS Mauritius, commanded by Captain Lord Ashbourne, which after training, I became a Member of the Boarding Party. Up to the the time my duties came to an end on May 15 - 1948 when Ben Gurion Took over the reins in Israel - formerly Palestine. I with others had boarded five vessels containing So called Illegal Immigrants most vessels carrying several hundred souls mainly recruits for the Haganah (Ben Gurion's followers opposed to those of t...

Today I am unable to escape to the garden due to the rain, neither do I have time for any online protesting or indulge in any self righteous crusades. However, the Christmas thingy has turned up again and jolly cards are to be sent to fewer persons this year, this somewhat due to attrition and the forgetfulness of others to impart good wishes to me last year.... This will mean sedentary non activity will be gouged from the time spent where I am at present sitting, mainly because of my bum parking time has recently been reduced and replaced by bodily movement and exercise of a not too strenuous nature, I am four kilos lighter than five weeks ago and intend to keep up the trend.........But not so it seems for many others who are parked in a swivel chair with eyes glued to the screen in front of them......Obesity levels are set to jump 65% by 2025 if people eat more and exercise less, the Heart and Diabetes Institute are saying the number of adults with a normal weight range will decrea...

Subject: Warning: You're not going to like what you see Warning: This e-mail contains images of animal cruelty that may distress you. If you'd prefer, click here to read more and sign our urgent petition without viewing images. It never should have happened. Once again, ABC TV's Four Corners has revealed new shocking mistreatment of Australian animals involved in the live export trade. Last night's program exposed imagery of terrified Australian sheep being treated in revolting ways. The ill-fated sheep were stranded at sea for weeks in extreme heat and cramped conditions only to be unloaded in Pakistan where they were chased down and butchered with blunt knives and bulldozed into writhing piles. They were then dragged, beaten and tossed alive into mass graves. This happened even after "tough new regulations" were introduced, supposedly to make the live export industry more humane. It's sickening that we need to write another email ...

Spare a thought for one charity that is not depending on food and medicine, It is Happiness and laughter at a time in a child's life when laughs are all but impossible to come by. For the 'Make-A-Wish' Foundation Charity, it is sobering to learn it is struggling to deliver the services it needs. So at this time of the year tailor made for splurging when you are having a flutter on 'Melbourne Cup day, why not make it an each way bet and send a bit of that dosh you are about lose to fill the wallet of some fat greasy Bookie; to the Make-A-Wish Foundation donation as well. That way no matter what happens at the Melbourne cup or even the Pommie Derby and not forgetting Uncle Sam's Kentucky(fried?) Derby, you know you will be backing a winner. ...................................................................................... To show your support, go to makeawish.org.au .........................................................................................

I'm sure that blogger Billy Cook from Utah had a parrot he needed to get rid of. Seems that the parrot concerned is available and is seeking a new home, provided his new owner tolerates its bad language. Mr Beaky the aged parrot often turns the air blue with swear words. Mr Beaky often thought to have come from South America and his first years were spent as a pet in a seaman's mess aboard ship, which probably was the best place anywhere to learn the rudimentals for his Fowl foul mouthing. Beaky's owner Say's the Bird is regularly letting rip with a shocking display of swear words including the 'F' word and and arsehole which is his favourite. Beaky has been known to reveal secret family third party boudoir conversations at dinner parties using all the ooh's and Ah's; so he must go. ....................................................................................... Live in such a way you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town go...

Today October 21 among the fanfare of Bullshine and Historical Revelry commemorating Admiral Horatio Nelsons epic victory* over the French and Spanish fleets, on Monday October 21, 1805. culminating in a 75% casualty rate - both dead and wounded, which also included Nelson himself dying on his flagship HMS Victory, will be overshadowed by a disaster occurring Friday October 21 1966 in the tiny mining village of Aberfan in Wales when torrential rain caused a mountainous coal slag heap to move so fast that it engulfed most of the village and the whole yes whole generations of the village schoolchildren. The story can be unfolded by googling 'ABERFAN DISASTER'. ...................................................................................... At the time of the signal "England expects every man will do his duty" in 1805 many children too lost their lives it was well known that 11 year old powder monkey's as they were called - served on British Naval ships ...

NEW DELHI. An Indian man supposedly has become the Worlds oldest Father, so the yarn goes. although any male person can still be the oldest father in the world at the maximum possible age, what these Indian Fakirs are saying is the bloke in question has simply knocked up this 54 year old Indian sheila at the age of 96 and boasts a previous birth by same person at 94 he being the Sire on both occasions. ....................................................................................... Although I doubt God had a hand in it, the assumed father Ramjit Raghav speaking from his home near Delhi said" what can I do this is all gods wish, he wanted me to have another son. Ramjit said neighbours were jealous of his sex drive, kept strong by a daily diet of almonds butter and milk,. Ramjit a farmer all his life says he is healthy and virile and can go all night if asked. ....................................................................................... I believe that old...

On this day in 1604, King James 1 of England and as James 6 of Scotland Who detests the ever increasing habit of smoking, imposes a tax on the imports of tobacco. This new tax will be used to feed the Royalist's war chest for use in later years. ....................................................................................... Smokes fags baccy DF's for Jolly Jack are heading toward extinction in the Joyless Royal Australian Navy, Oh you can still choke on fag smoke but you will pay the full quid for them. Not sure if the Royal Navy still allow this unwarranted privilege and I doubt by now few Matelots presently serving in the RN will remember the grog issue, One eighth of a pint of rum watered down two to one. As a young sailor in the RN, I was not permitted to smoke until I was Eighteen and punishment was a severe thrashing if caught.However my first action station on the ADP meant you would get all the smoke necessary to choke you from the two huge Funnels (Stacks) ...

History. On Saturday Oct 13 1986. A former Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser gives a speech at the Memphis Country Club and leaves for a drink. He is found the next morning wandering around minus his passport, his wallet and trousers. An antique song "Donald Whares yer troosers" made a short lived come back. ....................................................................................... Being frugal with power usage over the past Quarter, you know the usual things like remembering to turn off from the power point and turning off when last out of the particular room, has actually reduced our consumption of electric power. However, despite our efforts to reduce the carbon emissions and save the blessed planet, we were Shocked to receive a power bill which exceeded the previous one by 27%. A jocular MP recently suggested that a punitive tax on Beer, Baked Beans, Port Wine and Pizzas should be imposed due to the fact that the consumption of these aforementioned p...