Ok you Skinnies. Here's your chance to become Obese like your fat friends
I expect you remember the standard make up of the school kid gangs, one tall, three average size and one fat boy with spectacles. During recent years the order of things have changed to three four eyed fatties a stunted ginger head skinny.and a very fat girl, who is usually called tweety or laura for some odd reason.
So if you are a skinny and wish to move outwards to the fat trendy status, here is the best way to start.
In the School Canteen or in the lunch box mummy has prepared for you is the catalyst for expansion and the means to short circuit your life span. Start right now consuming heaps of Trans Fats which is found in a variety of foodstuffs notably those in a list shortly to follow, this will get you a proud pork belly in little or no time. Why? Because this crap you eat tastes delicious and is addictive because of that.
Mothers, whack some in your child's lunch pack, your skinny kid will love it and become a fat and happy rotund little blob in the wink of an eye.
Trans Fats are a deadly poison found on most supermarket shelves, even small doses are harmful, Trans fats are made synthetically in a process called Hydrogenisation. The changed fats extend the shelf life of cooking oil and improves the appearance and texture of baked food such as scones, muffins and cakes .
If a total ban is imposed, major food outlets will feel the impact most, also the fast food chain stores like McDonald's , KFC, Wendy's and Dunkin' Donuts.
So mums and dads keep your eyes peeled for this trans fats thingy if you want to stay thin, look for items which display the sign 'No Trans Fats, anything else has usually got this Trans fat crap. These are a few items you could avoid like the plague.
Margarine spreads and shortening.
Deep Fried Foods.
Frozen foods, including sweet pastries, sausage rolls, pies and fish fingers.
Pastries, donuts, muffins and cakes.
Biscuits, cookies and instant noodles.
Crackers, chips and crisps.
Confectionery,lollies-Candy and Chocolate, cereal bars and slices.
Cake mixes, dips, sauces and Chocolate spreads.
Ignore this warning and you may become only useful as a professional Santa Claus or a fat Tweety or Laura Claus.
Dedicated to two Fat Yankee Broads, Laura Widebeam and Tweety Fantail-Stern.
Click here for more info. http://www.choice.com.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
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