Which ever way this message is delivered, there are tell tale signs whether or not you are getting the truth.
Allegedly cheats provide much of the work and income for private investigators who develop their own checklists of telltale signs that should set alarm bells ringing.
I've taken the best of the bunch and provided you with a cheater’s checklist. (It can be applied equally to women to help sniff out an affair)
At the beginning of an affair, a husband may be more affectionate than usual due to feelings of guilt.
Later, once the affair has developed, he often starts finding fault with his wife as a defence mechanism to justify the affair in his mind.
Cheating husbands often lose interest in domestic activities, such as DIY and mowing the lawn.
He may have a change in sexuality and want more or less sex or make unexplained sexual requests.
The cheater's relationship with his family will almost always change. He might become more distant, cold, or fault-finding. Psychologically this is because he’s starting to blame the family, especially his wife, for his behaviour.
You may notice unexplained credit card charges or withdrawals.
Grooming habits change. He’ll probably buy a new wardrobe or may suddenly start to become more attentive to his personal appearance. You may notice him washing more, wearing a new aftershave and joining a gym.
Physical clues to the affair may start appearing, such as lipstick on shirt collars, perfume odours on shirts or jackets, secretion stains on underwear. Unexplained bits of paper, receipts, and condoms might start appearing in his pockets.
Suddenly the car might need more fuel than usual and see a husband popping out to ‘fill the tank up’ more often. Keep an eye on the odometer to check if he’s putting a lot of unexplained distance on the car. You could go as far as keeping track of distance covered (Mileage) against the time he leaves for, and returns to, work. Check payslips to verify any claims he’s been working overtime. You might notice him whispering into his phone, looking alarmed if you spot him and hanging up suddenly.
You might find that his mobile phone bill rockets and that he’s making calls to the same number right after leaving home and just before walking back in the door. Try to get a look at his itemised bill to check for unusual or repeated numbers.
He might become hard to reach at the office or on the road and starts coming home at unusual times or going to places alone
Be aware of any close platonic relationships. Many friends will not approve of the cheater’s ways but others may help facilitate it by providing iron-clad alibis.
To catch a cheater he must not suspect you’re on to him. Treat him the same as usual and give him plenty of time alone. If you think he’s cheating at home make false plans to be away for a weekend and stay at a local hotel. Park down the street from your residence, then watch and wait. Have a plan for what you’ll do if your suspicions are confirmed.
Remember; this is not just a male domain, females are quite capable too.
Need more advice. leave your title or name with your comment on Vest@dailygaggle.com
Friday, 28 November 2008
"Darling I'm Working Late At The Office"
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Vest Has Left the Building
To advise that Vest (Les Bowyer) passed away this morning. Regards, Chris (Son).
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I'VE been married for 17 years and we have two sons.
Everything was fine until my wife went back to work after our youngest started secondary school three years ago.
When I found out she'd been having an affair with her boss, I felt crushed but I didn't want a divorce because I still loved her. She agreed to stop working there.
She then took a job at a big DIY store and I became suspicious when she kept doing a lot of overtime.
One day I parked outside the store and saw her get into a car with a man I didn't know. When I confronted her, she admitted she was having an affair with him.
We're still together for the sake of the children but my wife is unrepentant, insisting it was no big deal and everyone's doing it. She now works in a women's clothes shop, so can I be hopeful her cheating is a thing of the past?
This will be my first session as an agony uncle.
THE reasons women cheat vary considerably. For some, an affair is truly all about sex. Some are unfaithful because they're lonely or are fed up being taken for granted and want to escape the monotony of marriage. Others do it to feel beautiful and boost their self-esteem. For many women, an inattentive husband is the biggest problem. Is this so in your case? Did these other men represent the needs your wife wants fulfilled? If so, you must find out what they are before you can do something about it.
Your glossary of favorite books leaves me dumfounded, a guy of all seasons and reasoning. really?
I am safe
I am out of Mumbai
I am in Kolkotta (Calcutta)
I will out live u
and take care of Rm
when u r gone
where is Keshi
has she found somebody new
Lay off Maria
she is my ex wife
The vast majority of liars and cheats are male of course. I wouldn't take a liar/cheater back under any circumstances - they deserve no consideration and I think more of myself than to put up with it. A liar and a cheat is just that - no redeeming feature about them. You don't need them as friends and you don't need them as a life partner to keep grinding your self-esteem into the dust.
I know of a hubby who lied and cheated on his wife for 16 yrs. Found someone he liked better and dumped wife and their 2 (young) kids to get the other woman preggers as his "excuse" to leave.
He did it to rub his now ex-wife's nose in it. But I feel sorry for the 2 children - dumped by default. Just when they needed a Dad the most. There are no words for Pondscum like that.
I think the wife is way better off for being rid of the Toad myself - but she is now a Solo Mum struggling to raise 2 dumped children on her own. Too sad.
Jimmy:: Due to unrest in your unstable country, our projected visit to Mumbai in Jan has been Shelved until I can afford to tour in a Vestmobile, ie a used popemobile.
Added to my problem was the nasty email received from a anonymous member of World United Bloggers protesting that my unwarranted remark that they W U B's were a bunch of latent terrorists would be subject to reprisal.
It seems likely I may achieve Salman Rushdie notoriety, if that is the case I shall use such to my advantage in future S/S writings to popular mags.
Where are you hiding at this point in time?.
Oi!! who is Maria?
Aggie: Again we we have intelligent comment from Aggie, thanks, X.
BTW, Do you mind if I use your title (pondscum)I know a number of people it would relate to.
Ca: You have been here before haven't you, so how is it you have only recently read my profile.
Presuming you read my post, is it your partner who does'nt understand you, or would I be correct in assuming you don't understand your self.
Have a Thoughtful day.
o gosh...jimmy has found another blog to stalk....
Kin'shar: Jimmy has been giving me cause for concern for well over four years now, but deep down he is a lovable old rogue.
Thanks for calling.
BTW, I have visited your recent post.
ok ok I saw that...wow 4 years. Damn, ok its only been 2 months for me. I hope that he will keep his promise and not pester me again. I know that he is probably a sweet heart, but I know that he only wants a green card, and is looking for a wife to do just that. Im not the one...and he can come around as long as he respect my relationship and blog alike...and mostly stay on the topic.
u r yellow it seems not white
I tot u had balls
but I am mistaken
what does it matter if u die now
or ten years hence
any way like I said i will take care of Rm
i am going to marry Rm and get a Green card after VEST gets killed in Mumbai
Hey Jimmy, steady on with the compliments your B P is showing.
If upon my demise RM Chooses to take the plunge with a man rpt man of her choice it will be her choice not mine or your choice.
Did you Know, that the WANKHEDE sports Stadium in Bombay(Mumbai) was named after Jimmy.
cry my beloved cuntry
there is a hotel in Lundsay Street called Lund say Hotel in Kolkotta
They still lick white asses
VEST, u shud go there
Vest da best way is to ignore jimmy he has been the worst friend on could have. He has nothing better to do than to harass people. I didnt know you were a male...but now that I know Im sort of confused as to why he would stalk your page...hmm, jim are you gay too. HAHAHAHA! Oh btw, I got your nude pics you sent to me...dont make me jim. Leave this guy alone!!!
i wouldnt even post hes comments....
ok ...now sorry...back to the posting. You must know me quite well...cos these are the things that I sit back and do to my mate. I dont say anything about the alleged cheating at first...I sit back and let him crawl in....then I would get right to the point.
Kin'shar: Not sure if Jim is gay, I choose to think not. while on the subject I might add neither am I. I have been married multiple years with a large extended family.
Jim does have a race conflict problem, probably stems from years of Brit domination of the Indian sub continent.
I choose to tolerate Jim as he has many good traits, in an admission to me he stated he was Bi- Polar. Which will explain much of Jims outbursts.
Please read my profile, and thanks for your comments.
Have a wonderful day
watch out for kinshar
she is dangerous
and she has my Dick foto
God help me
No need to 'catch' cheaters...just 'throw' em away! :)
Ugh, Cheaters are really the scum of the Earth! Thanks for the tips though, not that I would need them. My husband is amazing :)
Rachel: Thinking out loud, In your case, your hubby would have little cause to cheat, the main reason he is amazing would be he is amazed at having such a wonderful wife.
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