Thursday, 22 February 2018

Words on Wednesday.

The following words have been used within the following story.

MYTHOLOGY.
DISCONNECTED'.
CAMPFIRE
ROUGHLY
EXPANSIVE
SINGING.
                                     A wedding in the year of 1643.

     On the Saturday of June the 20th, much excitement and frivolity had been ongoing since the 10 AM opening of the common grounds; near the church of Saint Oliver- formerly St Mary's in the village of Middle Sodbury in the Berkshire Chiltern Hills where roughly three or four hundred politically biased drunken villagers from surrounding Hamlets had gathered to witness the high profile wedding.

Most of the villagers already inebriated and itching for violence were supporters of Oliver Cromwell and others of higher profile supported king Charles 1.  When two days earlier much blood was shed during the Battle of 'Chalgrove field' in Oxfordshire but not quite within the snobbery of the Chiltern hills, but was involved in a  several expansive cavalry charges amid Bowmen Pikemen and Archers. After a 75% casualty rate the fighting ceased with The German mercenary prince Rupert declared the winner leaving Ollie Cromwell's cousin mortally wounded and carking eight days later. Rupert was also defeated a few weeks later and returned to Germany.

The uneducated minds of the villagers steeped in mythology and their division of loyalties and political beliefs were by now chanting and singing around the campfire already. built and ready for the 'Witch Burning '  later in the day following  the Witch Hanging and the main event of the day.

 The wedding of the daughter of Sir Sherbert Fizz William, Lady Freda Mary - formerly Frederick, Mark. prior to gender change , of Middle Sodbury. The groom being 'Cyril the Morris Dancer'
son of the 2nd Earl of of Snaggleswade and lady Bertha Biganother of Brussels Belgium A direct descendant of Francis the fornicator of Paris France. At the Alter the best man Cedric  the former partner of Cyril wept in the arms of his daddy The 3rd Earl of Frogsbottom Sir Timothy the Timid and his wife ; a former harlot "Hilda the Horrible.

Due to the possible outbreak of violence between royalists and serfs, a military guard had been placed around the village.. Pike men and Archers moved uneasily  while cavalrymen awaited the inevitable.
The bride and Groom joined the other dancers and fire eaters and indulged themselves to a slice of wild pig from the Barbecue adjacent to the  bonfire to be used for the burning of the witch ; namely 'Bernice the Quick a pick pocket and bag snatcher shortly to be hanged and burnt at the stake.

Bernice Declared she was from another world four hundred years in the future a place called Dununder and in her words Say's It will be the second time ive bin anged in four hundred years time and stone the crows it aint fair to be cooked as well. The village dogs look on expectantly most knowing  who it is they are about to eat.

The air of much jollity is in full swing several fights and stabbings within the Mead and Gin tents. Finally the arrows fly and the Pike men join the fray, The village green becomes stained with blood and the Groom is killed by an arrow. followers of Sir Timothy the Timid uncover the Cannon loaded with spread shot which had laid hidden beneath a table and its covers..

The cannon fired like a clap of thunder obliterating every thing in it path.

Finally a clap of thunder booms, Bernice awakens from her drunken stupor and on hearing loud knocking on her front door dashes down the stairs to let her unexpected visitor in, looking surprised at her visitor soaking wet from the rain  Say's come on in Elsie; looks like you bin for a swim in the Torrens.

Vest ... daily Gaggle...


8 comments:

Jimmy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Red Head. said...

Very interesting with historical fact included in this well written satire. No suggestion of the dreaded P word here , great fun. I like too.

Vest said...

Thank you unknown. No 1 son.

Vest said...

Thank you Jimmy for your kind words

Vest said...

Red head. So you like too!. Maybe A friend of Unknown of F B fame. Thank you for your assessment.

Lee said...

Much fun and a wonderfully wild, imaginative use of the words supplied.

Thank you. :)

Red Head. said...

Checking Further ' How clever of you to have the dates spot on. looking for Battle of Chalgrove field, Thursday, June 18, 1643.

Vest said...

Red Head. Easily remembered. I went to primary school in Chalgrove Oxfordshire 1931 until 1935. I lived at Number 1 monument Road in Chalgrove approximately 300 yards from the monument still standing to depict the epicentre of the battle. Vest not forget. Thank You for Calling.

Intro to Vests Ribald Yarns.

    Most of the supposedly funny ribald yarns I have written relating to that of Medieval goings on within the Chiltern villages in Oxford ...