WRIGLEY'S CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole bread?' The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.' The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia.' The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Australian replied, 'of course.' Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia . The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?' The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?' 'We throw them away, of course!' Now it was the Australians turn to smile. 'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'
Who said Australians weren't romantic?.
Of course I love ya darlin. You're a bloody top-notch bird.
And when I say you're gorgeous. I mean every single word.
So ya bum is on the big side. I don't mind a bit of flab.
It means that when I'm ready, there's somethin there to grab.
So your belly isn't flat no more; I tell ya, I don't care.
So long as when I cuddle ya I can get my arms round there.
No sheila who is your age has nice round perky breasts.
They just gave in to gravity but I know ya did ya best.
I'm tellin' ya the truth now, I never tell ya lies.
I think its very sexy that you've got dimples on ya thighs.
I swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met, I thought you was as good as I was ever gonna get.
No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear, now shut up while the footy's on and fetch another beer..
To advise that Vest (Les Bowyer) passed away this morning. Regards, Chris (Son).
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