Prisoners, Pets, and Overseas Pensioners Qualify for The Oz $900 Economic Stimulus Package

This is an extension to an earlier post last week.

Prisoners eligible for stimulus package payments

MURDERERS, rapists and drug dealers will reap $900 payments from taxpayers under Kevin Rudd's economic rescue package.
The jail grapevine is rife with news of the looming windfall for felons who worked on the outside in the 2007-08 tax year.
Thousand of inmates could get their hands on the latest round of stimulus cash, to flow from early next month.
While many may have robbed or bashed people for less, all they have to do to collect the money is file a tax return.
Should convicted criminals be able to receive the bonus? Tell us below
Prisoners are unable to have more than $120 in their jail accounts but associates or family could access the cash.
The Federal Government confirmed that recently arrived inmates would get the workers' tax bonus if they satisfied the eligibility criteria.
Victims' advocate Noel McNamara said giving money to criminals was a disgrace. "These people are felons, murders and deviants," he said.
"The Government should withdraw any obligations it thinks it has to these people and put the money where it's needed."
The revelation comes as the Government borrows $2 billion a week to finance its $42 billion economic rescue plan.
About $75 million of stimulus cash paid last December went abroad to 60,000 overseas-based pensioners, while tens of thousands of foreigners and expatriate Aussies will get the tax bonus payments.
Dead people also could be eligible for the bonuses, while there is a report that dogs could profit after the death of their master.
Opposition treasury spokesman Joe Hockey said the jackpot for criminals would do nothing for the legitimate economy.
"It's hard to spend money from jail," he said. "The entire package was poorly thought through. The wrong people are getting the money at the wrong time.
"Taxpayers will be outraged at the money being wasted by this Government."
Assistant Treasurer Chris Bowen's office said jail inmates would have to satisfy the normal eligibility requirements.
"Any Australian residents will be eligible for the tax bonus if they paid tax in the 2007-08 financial year, after taking into account available offsets and credits, and lodge their return by June 30, 2009.
"Direct support for consumption provided by payments such as the tax bonus is integral to the Government's response to the global financial crisis," his spokesman said.
It was reported on Sunday that pets left money in the estates of people who worked in 2007-08 could get the bonus.


Jimmy said…
not looking for cool hard cash
just hott love
Vest said…
Jimmy: Does K Qualify?

Not sure mate, ask her. Mind you her Pussie may qualify, or her dog if she has one.
Jimmy said…
she aint using it much
if she has one
Jimmy said…
only in totally secluded places
in the jungle mebbe
Vest said…
Jimmy: Ok, that's enough.
Jimmy said…
I got a lott more to tell

how many kids did u have?
in the jungle
Vest said…
Jimmy: Three according to the legend written on tall and tan's post, you must remember it was only a dream.
Anonymous said…
I wonder if I could invent a large family in Oz and get the wndfall for each of my long lost cousies? Not to mention my cat as well ...
Vest said…
Aggie: I'll leave you to wonder that, however I am sure you could not be related to the 250kilo-bland faced seven footers with black ties who meander around inside most of the Sydney clubs.

BTW, Howsyeredache, did you make it to work this morning? xxx.
Anonymous said…

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea...'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?
Jimmy said…
Mumbai ...

I seen all the sights and sounds and the smells of the dirty city called Mumbai

but my eyes were opened wider
when I saw it on the big screen

I shed a silent tear for the Muslim boy Jamal
I admired his guts

robbed of his childhood
a baby boy became a man much too soon

he witnessed his mother and brothers brutally murdered by fanatic Hindu mobs, (while the Mumbai police watched)
who attacked women and children
their only crime being they were born Muslims

and the boy grows in the ghetto
I share in his joys, his pains, his grief

he is now an orphan
and he is picked up by an orphanage van

the seemingly goodly man takes him in, along with his brothers and Latifa

the man trains them to beg in the city
by cultivating their singing talent

those who cant sing well .... their eyes are gouged out by pouring hot acid

a blind beggar rakes in more
Jamal and Aslam escape by boarding a slow moving train

Latifa gets left behind
and later he is told that she has been taken in by a brothel keeper

and later again the keep of the local dada

Jamal makes a living in Delhi as a tourist guide

He never forgets Latifa
He is in love

and then he becomes a slum dog millionnaire
against all odds

and Mumbai and the rescued Latifa celebrates his victory
just as Muslims in Kenya celebrated the victory
of Obama Hussein

Praise the Lord

Anonymous said…
Zac's dog died last week will he Qualify if we dig him up/?
Vest said…
I presume you are Zacs friend Gordon - the baker?
If so you must dig up the dog and be sure it is stiff enough to stand with legs splayed, if not shove it in the freezer and spray it with after shave before the auditer arrives.
Or if you are in doubt'Use your loaf'.
Anonymous said…
is that last geezer for real?

Use your loaf, funny funny LOL
Anonymous said…
Your wish to communicate with a dear departed soul can come true.
visit us soon. ADC.
Vest said…
ADC: i'll get Andrew B to investigate your blog, looks dodgy to me.
The guy can't even spell cormoonerkasions propperlie.

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