Having read recently several articles within your sporting pages relating to a downturn in spectator attendances at most sporting venues, I feel there must be some skulduggery going on at the entrance turnstiles and people getting in for free by slipping a few less bucks to the ticket sellers and bypassing the electronic counters.
Well sir I am not the least surprised, as this sort of activity has been going on for ages; in particular within my family and vastly extended family whose ingenious methods of gaining entry to sporting activities without interference is legendary.
The gathering of our families at these sporting venues means we can have lunch together and have a chatter and let the young ones let of steam and scream and squawk to their hearts content while sharing sandwiches and meat pies, there are no leftovers our family really enjoy a good feed at most times and rarely anything goes to waste.
Sir, as long as we have people attending sporting venues who throw meat pies at offending sports persons we will be there to enjoy the fun,
Flightfully Yours, A SEAGULL.