Thursday, 2 April 2009

Greed, Fornication and a bit of casual Sinning is ok. Now we are all going to Heaven.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term paper. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED an A+


BTW. Should you be one of those persons who do not communicate to this site in any form, you may find yourself excluded from future mailings.

50 comments:

Jimmy said...

dont go by the definition of SIN given by Popes, padres, Billy Graham, the Queen, and Keshi


SIN is when u dont LOVE every body of any color, race, age, caste, creed, and sexual orientation


- says Jesus, the first Hippy, flower child

Jimmy said...

what u posted here is kids stuff
for kids


as u grow
u grow in Wisdom usually


VEST is the exception
military men want clear cut answers


whom to aim at
and shoot


Thank God a military man does not rule India

Aggie said...

Ha Ha Ha! Too funny. That's an A+++ from me.

Jimmy said...

military men have a verry strong hatred for the flower chidren, Joan Baez and Bob Dylan and the anti war Groups


if we have no threat of War
we dont need to have an army and VEST types


Military guys are macho
they have zero tolerance for other sexually oriented guys


I detest George Patton
but I love Vest, for the sake of Rm

Vest said...

Jimmy; So you are grown up!

When did that happen?

Jimmy said...

for the Lords sake (Jesus)


dont use biblical (Old Testament- Jewish book) words


like Whore,Wicked, Fornication, Sex, etc


Jesus put an end to the OLD
a NEW commandment I give u
that u LOVE one another as I have loved u


and Mary Magdalene

Jimmy said...

ever since I started loving Rm

ever since I got over my crush for Keshi and other teenagers

ever since I lissened to Jesus
and learnt to love a womans soul
and not just her body

Jimmy said...

the Law of Moses, the Jewish book issued a Fatwah

STONE the adultress to DEATH
and then Jesus came along and said

let the man with no SIN cast the first STONE
and the VESTY types sheepishly walked away
and Jesus hugged Mary Magdalene


it is a sign of our times

the so called prostitute is damned
but the guys who avail of her services go scot free

Jimmy said...

Heyy VEST
when talking about SEX and GOD
u dont need Moderator mommy


disable Mommy

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gordon. said...

Hey Jimmy, cool down man, you are becoming too serious and insulting at times, must you?

Vest said...

Jimmy: If all of this faith industry codswallop is to be believed, J C WAS HAVING IT OFF with Mary Magdalene.
J it seems thouart running hot & cold again sport. maybe your B P is showing up again. Simmer down.

Jimmy said...

I will not
I shall not


I shall not be moved
u cant make me shut up


I will spread the message of Jesus
if u wont lissen, no prob


Rm will lissen
K will lissen
A will lissen

and Jesus will be happy

I am on my way to Heaven
I shall
I shall not

be moved

Jimmy said...

Gordon old man
when u talk
u talk straight talk


call a SPADE a SPADE
no other word will suffice

and VEST does not allow the substitute
the F-word

Jimmy said...

my definition of PROSTITUTE (I am sure Jesus will agree):


one who works solely for the pleasure of being paid


by this definition my wife was Pro
and so are many wives of many guys


if u dont love the WORK u do
and u do it only for the salary


u r PRO man

and Doris was paid
she gave me love for INR 25


she didnt just give SEX
she loved me

and showed me how to love a woman
and many women were happy with what she taught me

Jimmy said...

macho men and most Military guys
see the woman as a sperm bag

then when they are done
they roll off

and roll a ciggy
the Malboro man

Jimmy said...

I wonder if my last comment will get through MODERATOR

Vest said...

Jimmy: ok no more biblical stuff, some Iv'e heard before, my delete button is at 'Red Alert'. I am off to watch a movie, about 'CLIVE in INDIA', the guy who tried hard to teach you geezers good manners.

Jimmy said...

HA
Lord Clive?

Jimmy said...

t was once part of the royal collection at Delhi.


The vase is the largest of its kind offered for sale
Lord Clive is thought to have acquired it as a reward for his help in the victory at Plassey by the new Nawab, Mir Jaffir.

Lord Clive, the son of a Shropshire squire, had become a soldier and adventurer who had risen through the East India Company, amassing an incredible collection of artefacts.

He operated as ruler of British India as George III's representative.

But although he was once seen as a hero, his position was later questioned as the tide of opinion changed and he was criticised for his means of obtaining such riches.

He became an opium addict and committed suicide in 1774 at the age of 49.

Jimmy said...

read about Lord Clive here


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/3476227.stm

Jimmy said...

the misfits in Britain
became adventurers in India and looted India under the EAST INDIA COMPANY


the others landed us as convicts to the penal colony

now called Australia

Kate...fb. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kate...fb. said...

Mr Jimmy. Lord Robert Clive still markets his own brand of Curry Powder we buy in shops here in Australia, Hey and why are you becoming a pain in the ass. zzzz.

Vest said...

Kate I keep hearing my PC go beep, I have paused my movie.
BTW Robert Clive koofered yonks ago, about middle age, committed suicide with drugs when unable to teach sub continent tenants good manners. some times it still shows.

Jimmy said...

Sorry Lady Kate
that was a bit too raunchy for the gentler fairer sex

Jimmy said...

and thanks VEST for letting me rant on


I always hit out at the Americans
but who are Americans?

see HOW THE WEST WAS WON
they were British adventurers again

they looted and raped the original inhabitants the so called Red Indians


behind every crime is a Britisher
and the creation of ISRAEL and making refugees of the PALESTINIANS


but there is KARMA
I believe in KARMA


now it has happened
GLOBAL RECESSION
and INDIA and CHINA will rule the World

inspite of OBAMA

Jimmy said...

The Asian countries as opposed to the Western World respect their elders


In India we dont call dad
my old man


we touch the feet of our parents
we lissen to the wisdom of the aged folks


Daddy chan say the Japanese
the Chinese do likewise


and Jesus was not blonde as depicted by Western Bibles

Jesus was Asian
all the great religions of the World were born in Asia

Vest said...

Jimmy: When you in particular quote certain aspects of the faith industry you sometimes quite innocently debunk the whole sorry mess. Two points you made within your last tirade assist this theory, first your verbal grenade re all this knee bending and wailing originated from Asia-the seat of backwardness even to this day.
I would suggest you focus your noddle on reality; there is little relevance to your inflexibility and needless preoccupation with your own race.
Forward thinking people have been aware for yonks that J C was not blonde, so stop nit picking and get connected fish head.

C A. USA. said...

Great post vest, and I love your previous comment too.

Kate...fb. said...

Sorry vesty I didn't know Robert Clive was dead, but he made good curry didn't he.Luvs ya, kate xxx.

Jimmy said...

u r a good man Vest
and Jesus loves u more than u know


u have created a Guinness record
staying faithful to Rm for more than 50 years


but that is no big deal really
I wud be faithful to Rm too
if I was in your shoes


did u really have sex that morning?
Kate and I want to know

Vest said...

Jimmy: What morning was that? I only remember the mornings when I don't!!!

Vest said...

Kate: you have me worried and you are not even Blonde.x.

Chris said...

God Takes a Holiday

God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"

"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"

"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"

Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it

Jimmy said...

How I wish K was an ordinary girl
like the other Ks I am intimate with and Rm


She is too damn sexy
too damn desirable

she has 243 suitors by last count
how she gonna choose one?

she will need a Hitech computer program to evaluate and select

Edward Jones said...

Hello Vest
I live in Stowmarket Suffolk, not that far from the old school. Went there for the centenary in 2003, must admit it got rid of a lot of demons I had about the school and some of the officers who where there. My place of work in the morning for the jobs we had to do befor school started was backstairs around the Captains living quarters and Lt Prices office who was jimmy the one in my time there. That area is the only part of the old school still standing. People live in that part today, could see where i had to apply the ronuk every morning about 6.45.
Such Memories. edward jones.

Jimmy said...

"Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it



its true men and Vest talk
Jesus is God, if u believe Him


but His heavenly father sent him to Earth
with a human body with human passions


and He cudnt resist beautiful women
just as Vest and me


if Rm lived in those times
Jesus wud have got enraptured too

Jimmy said...

do it today
tommorow is only INSHA ALLAH


Babu Mendes a dear friend is being taken to rest


He succumbed to cancer after a long valiant fight

He spent a lotta time and money
doing up his house in Goa

He had plans to move to GOA after his 3 daughters married

one isnt married yet
when u make plans for the future

dont forget to say INSHA ALLAH

Jimmy said...

where da f__k is the LD Lawyer
I want to give him a sock to the jaw



before I go

lower deck lawyer. said...

Jimmy Boy, I pump iron, run, now and then play squash. I am 5ft & eleven inches in height and weigh 83 kilos.
I am much older than you so you have that advantage, will you still love to sock my poor old jaw, you fruit cake. Mike.

frog said...

oi- i'm in for some casual sinning
anywhere any time what games do you play oh , i'm a bloke, waiting to be kissed on my......lily pad and turn into a handsome horny prince..xxx:)))) croak croak.

Jimmy said...

I pump wmn, run after them, play with them, and ....

I am 5ft & eleven inches in height and weigh 55 kilos with my boots on


and I can fight or run
I dont have that extra 30 kilos u carry on your waist


Thank God
I am not u

Jimmy said...

Cowboy,
if u want to kill somebody u dont need to pump iron


that was in the Middle Ages
now u just need to have enuff strength to hold a gun
and pull the trigger


and with a target as beeg as u
u cant miss

Anonymous said...
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Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

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Jimmy said...

this site is infested with annony nouses

Vest said...

Edward: I returned to the school in 1986 with my wife and son Tim. Tim remarked about the school graveyard where 95 percent of the boys interred were twelve year olds or less. Proving only the strong would survive the early years at that wretched school.