These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. · A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." · "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." · "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr · "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill · "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow · "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). · "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas · "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain · "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde · "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill · "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. · "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop · "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright · "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb · "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson · "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating · "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand · "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker · "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain · "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West · "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde · "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) · "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder · "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


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