Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Have you ever been naughty like me ? .I'll bet you have.

Really naughty I mean, before achieving adulthood. Now This will get most of you thinking, particularly before the cane and spanking was abolished by the do gooders. "What did I get that good hiding for when I was ten or, or was I only eight" Or if you were a new age "Spare the rod and spoil the child brat" and was grounded for something which caused offence such as stabbing the next door neighbours cat, and pissing in the family swimming pool, or better off kids joy riding and crashing dads Merc. Now remember you must only have recall of the silly stupid things you did as a juvenile not the current crimes you are presently engaged in, so be cautious, the jails are already filled to capacity, and most Aussie are fearful of incarceration with hard labour; particularly hard labour. So please be careful as I do not have enough funds to bail you out. My first petty indiscretion was a double act with a friend (Not that) Reg and I gathered stinging nettles in the school break and opened the flaps to the dunny buckets at the rear of the girls toilets and stung their bums, ours did too later when we were caught.Yep, buckets in the thirties. My second awful deed I remember was in collaboration with another Boy (Not that. what are your minds turning over). The school Bully in our dormitory at WNTS College was Ginger Williams and had to be sorted out. It was decided by all in the dorm the matter was to be expedited at 9 Pm at 'Lights out'. Ginger had a habit of going for a pee prior to said lights out however, on his return everyone feigned sleep and ignored his cries "Who pissed in my bed" Ginger was in serious strife the following morning from the fat old bag matron who really whacked into ginger. Ginger was never the same after that incident. I have a couple more which I can mention but later maybe. Lets see if 'You' can come up with something real naughty. Here is the final one for today. Dicky Moores dyed the tail of my aunt's pure white cat; black, (black lead paint) this was in retaliation at the time of a school holiday in 1935, my friends Roger and Andrew and I, were riding our bikes near a black shed in a large fenced in paddock, when we saw this very large bull through the cracks of the fence, at the time it seemed prudent not to annoy this huge creature. However, Roger climbed on top of the fence and swung a large Brussels sprout stem with frozen dirt on the end right bang into the bulls testimonials. the bull charged the fence and was seen cantering off in the distant fields, Mr Franklin the farmer caught the bull later, On the morning the coalman arrived I was returning home with six pennies in my sock after having a bath at Franklins farm where I had mucked out a stable for Mr Franklin, who questioned me about his bull. I told Mr Franklin I had a good idea it was Dicky Moores and his mate Curly Hicks a gypsy bloke(They had recently wrongly reported me for nicking farmer Turners Mangold wurzels).Mr Franklin said that Roger Woods had told him the same thing. I was pleased Mr Franklin believed my story. To be continued....soon.... Vest BTW the sequel to this saga will contain adult themes.

7 comments:

WALLY said...

I never did any wrong when I was a kid I got lots stick for somethings I didnt do. I was a real good little boy and not like you you monster.

Vest said...

Thanks for your compliment Wally.
Can't imagine an Indigenous child living in Redfern Sydney - deemed the lowest order of occupancy. having a Lilly white reputation.
Wally: you being a plumber, you must have acquired some sneaky ways of misleading your customers by now. OK be honest, did you never throw stones at trains passing through Redfern?

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vest said...

No takers yet, but out there blogging are former adolescent monsters hiding behind the respectability of their anonymity.

OK then, try using a pseudonym.
I'm sure Billy Davo and Gerry have a lot to confess

Vest said...

To date 23 callers, comments on this post are slack. seems all my blogging contacts were wrapped in cotton wool and guarded by their maters and paters. Can't imagine them as goody goody two shoes. Come on you spoilt brats confess all.

Have to go to the funeral of a close friend tomorrow, will be busy.

Vest said...

Thank you for your story Davoh From Wombats Waffles.
The contents will be closely guarded.

jaded jane said...

Mr Vest When I was Eighteen I lost my Virginity to an English Sailor, but I'm not sure which one, this is true.