Tuesday, 9 June 2009

A Menstruating period in Australian Cricket."Come on Aussie Come On"

It is now into winter where I am right now, outside the sun is shining-hardly any clouds however the wind chill factor from that breeze from the south is a stark reminder to wear your winter woolies.
Today's Sydney Daily Telegraph was very sparing in the sports dept, likewise was fox tel in the main news, a mention about thugby that was yer lot mate, maybe I thought if I search the hardly read interior pages where the bad news is tucked away between the likes of 'Hair Loss' and 'Ten percent discount on a treatment for Hemorrhoids' adverts where only few dare venture, I may find the embarrassing truth in small print, No not a thing about the supremo's of the Cricket world , the masters the top dogs, the very so called Best players the world has to offer thrashed in two games and out of the tournament,(That will teach them to be up themselves and too cocky. Remember the "Come On Aussie Come on" chant from the stands in the past, well it was certainly their rag time this week.
Being a Pom myself with OZ/Brit dual citizenship I cannot lose face when either of the two old enemies clash but secretly my original English heritage comes to the fore each time and I find it difficult to cover up.

"Hello Roy! A Happy Birthday to You on your 34th Birthday" " have a few beers and enjoy the laugh you must be having on hearing the news, The likes of you not in the OZ team may well have that nose picking gum chewing unshaven gob spitter cursing his misjudgement. I hear on the grapevine the poms are interested to secure your services. you certainly qualify.
Andrew (Roy) Symonds. Born in Birmingham, England, in 1975, he came to Australia aged one with his adoptive parents. He has scored more than 14,000 runs in first-class cricket since 1994. Last week he was sent home in disgrace from England to Brisbane Australia after the latest of his drinking transgressions.
Roy would have been more suited to a different era, maybe two decades back when the likes of Lillee, Thompson and Doug Walters enjoyed a fag and a beer in the dressing room while playing cards before going in to bat.
Congrats to the West Indies on beating Oz, and of course my blog friend Keshi who now lives in Sydney may have mixed feelings that her homeland team SriLanka last night finally put the Australian cricket team to the sword.
Aussies. "Have a thoughtful day. Vest.

BTW, HA HA HA.

45 comments:

Jimmy said...

Cricket is a game for fat slobs
one man bowls
the other bats


and ten others loiter on the field
till the ball rolls down to their end


and they chuck it back to the bowler
and go to sleep again

Jimmy said...

it used to be played for 5 days test

until TV audiences got bored
and Kerry Packer came up with one day matches

and the pace quickened

Jimmy said...

me, I was ruled by the Portuguese
No cricket

they tot us football
soccer that is

a fast paced game of just 90 minutes

Jimmy said...

6 balls chucked make an over
then as the field is being reorganized, the advts pour in

lotta money in cricket
and hockey and football took a beating in India

fathers want their sons to play cricket and make lotta money

Vest said...

Jimmy: Early 2011 the cricket venue in your hometown of Mumbai (Bombay) 'The Wankhede Stadium)will have been reconstructed. Then you can get your old job back picking up the shite and banana skins left by the betal nut chewers.
Others note, that the name Wankhede Stadium is genuine, if not apt for providing enterainment for the goofs who follow Indian cricket.

Jimmy said...

the Aussies better not come to India to play cricket

the Ausiies better not come to India. Period.

Vest said...

NAME; What international sporting events that did not originate in merry England.
Here are a few to get you started.
POLO. INDIA
Dwarf throwing. Australia
BUM pinching.ITALY
Saddleless Cycle racing Lesbonon.
Egg&spoon race, USA.
Bungy Jumping. New Zealand.

Jimmy said...

Kabbadi ASIA
Tennis USA


baseball USA
basket ball USA
boxing USA
blind mans buff UK

Jimmy said...

rugby IRELAND
bull fighting SPAIN
RODEO USA

talking bull UK
ragging Aus

Jimmy said...

killing Commies USA
killing Red Indians UK in USA

Jimmy said...

burning witches VATICAN
burning Blacks Missisipi USA

Jimmy said...
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Jimmy said...
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Jimmy said...
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Jimmy said...

"DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,

His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"


"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS."

Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!

Jimmy said...

Rose


I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

Jimmy said...

When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

Jimmy said...

I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

Instrumental break.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

Vest said...

Jimmy Corrections: Assoc football(Soccer) England.
Rugby and Rugby League, England.
Tennis England.

Jimmy said...

u lie

Keshi said...

Lankan Lankan Lankan Oii Oii Oii!

;-) Thats how I celebrate the Vitory. Cos its just safer, now that Im in Aus lol!


Keshi.

Jimmy said...

Sri Lanka will not win IPL 20

India will
Woooo Hoooo

Jimmy said...

No Gandhian protests no more
Indians take to the gun in AUS

Jimmy said...

Down under
goes down under


K and other Indians take to the streets
K is roping in LTTE too

Keshi said...

Vesty my tribute to my fav doc is up.

*tears*

Keshi.

ims@ unwired said...

Mission to Mars

NASA interviewed potential astronauts for a trip to Mars. Only one person could go and, since there couldn't be enough fuel for a return trip, it would be one-way only.

The first applicant was an engineer. "How much would you expect to get paid for this trip?" the interviewer asked.

The engineer immediately answered, "One million dollars. And I'll donate it all to my alma mater: Rice University."

The next applicant was a doctor. Once again, "How much would you expect to get paid for this trip?"

The doctor answered, "Two million dollars; a million for my family and the other million for medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. And finally, "How much would you expect to get paid for this trip?"

He immediately whispered, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer curiously inquired.

The lawyer eagerly replied, "I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send that engineer!"

Jimmy said...

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.


Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.


Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers
Down her spine.


I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.


I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.


And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now

Jimmy said...

My first time ever
At milking a cow...

graeme said...

UNIVERSAL LAWS


1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Jimmy said...
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Jimmy said...
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rosemary said...

Comments deleted were sent in by naughty Jimmy, no need to wonder why.

Jimmy said...

Rose deserves a good spanking
get on my nee now Rose

Jimmy said...

Hesitantly, Brianna peeped through the doorway of her father's study. "Daddy?" she whispered shyly.


"What is it, Pumpkin?" replied her father with a smile.

"Daddy... um..." She swallowed nervously and took a deep breath. Then she quickly blurted, "Daddy you wouldn't spank me for something you knew I didn't do... would'ja???"

"Of course not, Princess!" chuckled her father. "Daddy would never give you a spanking for something he knew you hadn't done."

Jimmy said...

"Are you... sure?" she prompted, anxiously, "Daddy... do you... promise???"

"Very well then," chuckled her father indulgently, "Daddy hereby promises never to spank his little angel for something she didn't do. Cross his heart and hope to die! There. Does that make you feel better?"

Jimmy said...

"Oh yes!" sighed the relieved little girl, handing her father a note from her teacher, "Because I didn't do any of my homework last week!"

Vest said...

Jimmy: spanking is illegal in OZ.
However, reading about Rosemary's adolescent antics which were retrieved from an aged diary written by her deceased sister. which is now an excerpt from my memoirs - should make interesting reading.
Look out for it soon.

Jimmy said...

come out with it soon
wanna hear what Rose did in her teens

Jimmy said...

ROSE is an Irish rose
I bet

SON OF VEST said...

MY MOTHER IS AN ENGLISH ROSE ,not IRISH you boofhead.

Jimmy said...

Ooooopppss

Irish roses are more romantic
your mom is a kill joy


deleted all my HARDD work

Jimmy said...

the 1000,000 th Hinglish word

JAI HO and SLUMDOG didnt make it

Jimmy said...

Bloody Indians we camped in India for a few 100 years

and when we left
they followed us back to ENGLAND

with their CURRIES
and their women with DOT btw their eyes

and now they invented HINGLISH

Jimmy said...

every 5th person in the World is an Indian

Rose
the odds are high
your grand kids will probably marry an Indian

dont worry
not all are slumdogs
some r rich


the richest man in UK is Mittal, an Indian

richest man in the World, Mukesh Ambani an Indian again

Keshi said...

**VICTORY

I meant! Sorry abt the typo :)

Keshi.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...