Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Warning-- Young Men out shopping .'Beware of friendly old ladies'

Fred a kindly 30 year old living alone was in a supermarket when he was approached by a sweet old lady who exclaimed I can hardly believe it that you are the spitting image of my recently departed son. Fred said, "Well that is unusual"
She replied "Would you please call me Mother when ever you see me in future"
"Sure" say,s Fred,"Any time if it keeps you happy"
Going through the checkout the old lady told every one Fred was her son and waved to Fred as she left the supermarket. Fred then blew a kiss and said "Bye bye Mother".
Fred then asked at the checkout "Why is my bill over fifty dollars, I only have three cheap items", The checkout chick replied "Your mother said, you her son would be paying her bill".

SUCKER.

18 comments:

Poor Joe 25 wife & 2 kids said...

In the western world, women are responsible for 95% of all monies spent in over the counter transactions.
Women commencing employment in their teens to thirties, are the black belts in shopping.

Graeme said...

Word Play
1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker,
but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because
it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary,
they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults:
Practice safe sects!

kate...fb said...

Vestie,I rang your son to do a flood cleanup job, I didn't realise he lived in Richmond NSW about 150 klms away. The local guy was quite a hunk too, luvs ya kate.xxx.

wally said...

Hey poor joe,i've made a list of th INGS a woman should qualify for in a relationship.

She should be good lookING
Good at kissING
Smart when dressING
Good at house keepING
Lawn mowING
GardenING
BankING
Not worryING
Not talkING
And fornicatING

Rex Venom said...

Sucker!
Rock on!

graeme said...

!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy!!!!!!!!!

Subject: FW: Now here's a funny thing A woman helping her husband set up his computer.... [Spam score:8%]




A woman was helping her husband set up his

computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that

he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily

and will use each time he has to log on. The husband was in a rather

amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this

to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his

password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P... E... N... I... S...

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH ...

Jimmy said...

Well well well
Rex found u


all u guys here
keep your sisters and mothers at home


or buy chastity belts

Anonymous said...

Oooopps
that shud have been annony mouse
this guy really packs a punch


I am outta here

Jimmy said...

she is a funn girl
a simple girl

we lie on the bed
she plays with me
she scratches me with her nails
but not too hard to show any scratches

she dont care for fancy dresses and lingerie
in fact she is naked all the time she is with me

she dont eat in fancy restaurants
she loves fish and chicken
and will even chew the bones


she dont care for TV and movies
all she needs is a lotta loving

she sits on my lap when I am blogging
and I have to type with one hand

as she expects me to pet her all the time
she is my pussy cat

and I love her
Posted by Jimmy at 9:

Keshi said...

I dun believe that...cos which Supermarket in Aus allows a customer to go w.o. paying for her goods? lol!

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

Vest,

People often ask, "What makes her so special?" They will never understand that I fell in love with the kind eyes that led to the beautiful soul that has intertwined with mine. I fell in love with a woman who wont give me her phone number.

Yet she gave me her heart
I fell in love with a woman whose voice I havent heard


I fell in love with a woman who had me laughing uncontrollably until tears came down my face. That in itself had my soul. I hadn't laughed since I lost my ex.

I fell in love with a woman who took the time to really get to know me. Who made me feel safe and secure, cherished and well-liked, not just loved.

You're a goofball, sensitive, caring, understanding, gentle, and kind. You make me want to be the best I can be. You're helping me with my negative traits, and through it all you love me.

You're sexy, intelligent, patient, laid-back, and crazy! You tore down my walls, unlocked my heart, and refuse to give it back.

You accept the kid in me, the brat who insists on having his way.
the hellcat when he feels he's right and you're dead damn wrong.

I fell in love with a woman who's skin is baby soft and could give Dove's milk chocolate a run for its money!

Baby, I adore you, I value you, I respect you, and I like you, too! *Wink*
I want the WORLD to know NOTHING will EVER have me leaving your side!

I fell in love with my muse, my lover, my soul mate . . . MY FRIEND!

Thanks for loving me,

- Annony mouse

Jimmy said...

Relax buddy
its not Rm

Jimmy said...

I have very few needs
vada paav and idli and fresh juices, carrot juice and mosambi juice
and plenty cutting chai

I dont buy branded foods and beverages (Coke and Pepsi and KFC)
I dont crave for branded shirts and trousers too

I dont buy clothes
my sons clothes fit me
and undies too
he dont complain
at least not loud


he pays the rent bills
I buy groceries and cook
I love cooking

Sharda my sexy maid does the dishes and makes chappatis
she likes me

i loan her money when she asks me
I bought a mobile for her
but she didnt take it

said her bro will get rong ideas
she asked me to loan her 2K instead
I did


when i want some loving
I cuddle my cat
and she purrs contentedly


now i know it is rong for a man to love a cat
so I am cultivating an online lover

she dont like it
said she is my best friend
and no more no less

I am not one to give up so easily
i hope to change her mind someday
mebbe when she is 80
she will be my lover


when u dont want material things u dont have to work for a living
u dont need money
only enuff to pay for ciggies

I dont drink
I cant drink
I am bipolar


I work as a consultant
which keeps me busy for 2 days in a week
and I earn enuff to pay for ciggies and vada paav


my role model is MK Gandhi
the man they called the Mahatma

he didnt dress
he only wore a loin cloth

but he was powerful
The Queen of England wanted to see him

Protocol required that he wear a suit
MKG said sorry
No deal

I cant wear expensive clothes
when millions of my country men are starving





He visited the Queen half naked
when asked by the press later

He said there was no problem
The King was dressed enuff for both of us

Vest said...

Keshi: It is a joke. If you are intent on dissecting humour it becomes meaningless.
The best humour is derived mainly from the discomfort of others.
In any case to put things into a better perspective and dissuade further picking by those with less sense of humour, it is to be concluded that the supermarket was in fact in Ireland not Australia.xxx.
BTW, XXX.

Jimmy said...

Yes I tell every thing in my blog guys
my life is an open book

why do I tell?
I tell bcoz I want others to learn from my mistakes as a young adult

in my time there was no net
no google search
no blogs

we learnt the hard way
the school of hard knocks



Posted by Jimmy at 8:36 PM 0 comments Links to this post

Jimmy said...

it is true about Fate and destiny
but at the same time God has given us FREE WILL

if your life is in a mess
dont blame God

Love happens
that is God (cupid)

but for love to grow
it has to be nurtured

our job
not God's

Jimmy said...

some guys tell me
I spend too much time blogging
and neglect my work


NOT True
it dont take me much time to post

when I have an idea, a view, or just a joke
i want to convey

I google search
and I have it

then its only Cntrl C and Cntrl V
and a lil bit of editing


I searhed Youth never lissens and I found Keshis post
hihihihi

Keshi said...

lolllllllllz! ok!

Keshi.

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