In reply to a post by 'KESHI' This shall be my reply.
Looking back over the past ten years and taking stock of the present state of my life, I felt the need for a new direction.
Near the beginning of the last decade, I had a frightful feeling of being alone and unwanted. I had learned to live with the loss of my mother’s affection. Although Auntie Parker was affectionate, I felt she wasn’t providing me with real, open love and the freedom to embrace her at will. After all, she had her own brood of children to love.
I also thought about my first affair with Emily Jane Courtney-Cowper and how I was drawn into that unusual escapade. Emily was a warm, fun-loving person who had the ability to make things happen. There was always something more that followed a period of fun. There was no such thing as an anti-climax; only total exhaustion or oblivion. Emily, who was three years older than me, seemed so grown up and worldly. Wanting to do things for me, she unselfishly put aside her own physical needs and provided the motherly touch.
Nurse Adriana, on the other hand, was trained to care and provide healing and comfort to people who may have lost direction due to their health traumas. Adriana lived in quarters where she became ensnared in a same-gender love affair until she saw the folly of it all. Addy, five years my senior, was a beautiful, caring, honest lady who provided me with love and companionship. Her maternal instincts were always evident.
Emma. Beautiful Emma, was the total woman; a real lady of quality, intelligent, helpful, kind and honest and eight years my senior. She could be happy, loving, and motherly. Emma was a joy to be with. Her gender responsibilities to her partner were superior. No one could fault Emma. Just remembering her now still brings tears to my eyes.
Penny, three years my junior, was a very feminine young lady, a beautiful loving and happy sixteen-year-old who had a mature aptitude. It caused me concern that she should be compromised by me. Our short love affair was beautiful, but dear sweet little Penny did not at that time possess the motherly traits of her big sister.
Keeping it in the family was not what I expected when calling on Caroline Courtney-Cowper. It had been my intention to simply honour the invitation that she had made six years before. I made a social call so she would know I had survived the war. Tea and biscuits were all I expected. Shortly after arriving at this very remarkable lady’s home, however, I knew it was going to be difficult to escape. She seized the opportunity to illuminate a period of darkness within her dull love life. This lady was cool, open-minded, very attractive, and generous. She was also a force to be reckoned with within the bounds of her boudoir – a leading lady worth following. You might wonder why I went back for more. However being that I was a free agent at the time and committed to no one. And my needs no less greater than hers, ‘why not’.
In all my previous affairs, not once was I the leading force during the inaugural proceedings. Nonetheless, I found the invitations to be too exciting to pass up, despite the fact that in most cases they ended in sadness or a stalemate.
My association with these dear ladies gave me a quality of life I had never before experienced. Their integrity was of the highest order. Although I was torn away from them through no fault of our own, those beautiful people provided the template for my expectations of a lifetime partner.
These dear ladies, I am now able to say, were highly successful, and I truly thank them.
There is no doubt in my mind that some friends and relatives who I love dearly will view my pre-marital romps and escapades with derision or contempt. They may ask, “How could you resurrect your past in this manner? How unthoughtful!” Well, as unthoughtful as it may seem, I am aware of many indiscretions committed by my own family and friends, and would be pleased to hear from those who have never dilly-dallied during their present or former relationships before they pass through the pearly gates.
It would be mindful for all to remember that my last ‘escapade’ is still successfully ongoing after fifty-two years. By the way, for those who have not made this happen, the secret to making a relationship work for both partners is for each person to make the other person’s needs their top priority. This tricky concept is also called ‘compromise.’
Having received all the motherly care I could hope for, I felt I had something to give in return from what I had learned.
My knowledge of civilian life was minimal, so I started preparing for the inevitable by learning from the available sources. At the age of twenty-five I was about as dim as a Toc H lamp with a useless, nautically indoctrinated brain. Over the course of two years, I learned about local politics, lawful procedures, banking, housing, civil employment, general civil infrastructure, and my responsibility regarding each of them.
By the time I married my beautiful Mary, who possessed all the qualities necessary for a happy, rewarding marriage, I had taken on a protective role (not motherly!) My lovely Mary was eight years younger than me, a beautiful, grown woman at nineteen years of age. Mary was then and still is the love of my life.
Mary, to whom I have now been married for fifty years and whom I have known for fifty-two years, is always a joy to be around and a great source of happiness. She is also, I may respectfully add, a great lover. Our unions have been more than gratifying. The proof in the pudding, so to speak, was her successful delivery of our five, healthy sons.
Our first words to each other in the morning and the last words at night are “I Love You” or occasionally, “After that, love, I reckon we could do with a cup of tea.”