Tuesday, 31 July 2007

I Really feel Honoured, that you my Respected Friend, need me On Your Face Book

NO offence, but I decline your kind invitation to join Facebook.

I've been "poked'' (relax, it's Facebook speak) six times in the past fortnight - sent an email invitation to be someone's "friend'' (Facebook speak again) - and while I admit to feeling warmly wanted and kind of popular, it's just that I'm yet to see the point.

I have an email address that seems to work just fine. I also have a mobile phone.

And anyone who doesn't have access to these two vital connection portals, well it's probably for good reason.

To further throw open the lines of accessibility would surely mean having to filter unwanted and unwarranted attention and, frankly, who has the time?

I say all that, but it doesn't mean I don't fear social exclusion, cutting myself off to the movement of the times akin to not reading The Da Vinci Code or Harry Potter. (Confession: I've read neither. But then if I was on Facebook, that'd be common knowledge).

Facebook is the new going out. Who needs to step out the front door when you can see what your friends are up to, and even friends of friends, with a click.

There's no need to actually go to a party when you'll get to know everyone much better on your laptop.

No point shouting over doof-doof DJs when you can find out a man likes Thirsty Merc, works in adventure travel, roots for the Rabbitohs and you get to see him in Speedos and tux all in one hit.

You can also suss out his mates and get a handle on his exes.

Facebook isn't officially a dating network but then neither is going out. Just like going out, it's passed off as a harmless way of keeping in touch with a vast network in fast-paced times when all the while it's a covert ploy to trawl for potential loves.

Just as in a bar you may be approached by a total stranger who likes the look of your face, so with Facebook you may be "poked'' by someone who's only ever seen your carefully-selected, digitally-enhanced headshot.

The difference is, if you don't poke back, it's less offensive than being snubbed in the face.

It may have started as a niche, but Facebook is now mainstream for grown-ups. Thirty million users and, unlike MySpace, the bulk are in their 30s and beyond.

Let's not pretend it's to peruse friends' pics. It's tedious enough doing that when they're next to you on the couch, let alone by choice when the sender's none the wiser.

Facebook's about fitting in, a return to the cool gangs of our teens when we were defined by the company we kept. Facebookers brag of friend counts, revelling in rising daily tallies.

Just as I feel pressure from those inviting me to join Facebook, I'm also vaguely offended by those who haven't.

But I'm yet to be convinced that disclosing aspects of oneself (think Malcolm Turnbull in Speedos) opens you up to a whole new market rich with possibility.

It's an open invite to eavesdroppers to your conversation "walls'' ... stalking from the comfort of one's own home.

Potential suitors may "meet'' you and dump you all without ever clapping eyes on the real thing just because you read Deepak Chopra.

It's all very well to be a Facebook refuser but is it like shunning the telephone in favour of hand-written calling cards?

Worse, will it be used to explain why single people are single? Mothers will chide: "I don't know how you expect to meet anyone if you're not on Facebook. Orlando Bloom's on it, you know, and Prince Harry''.

It's enough to make you panic.

16 comments:

kate fb said...

You have a nice face a pleasing happy face, but you dont look too good in budgie smugglers[Speedos]
When is your Op? luvs ya x.

Vest said...

Kate: Always recognise you on the beach from the rear, small brown mole on your bot-right centre, and a pretty face the other side. I'll wear longies next time.
Op is Sept 6. xx

Keshi said...

Facebook? I think Im too old for it :)

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

me too
but a friend requested so i joined
didnt want to hurt her feelings

Anonymous said...

so are u going to be interviewed by Andrew the asshole ?

Sharm said...

Hi there,

You are chosen to represent your country in the first international blog
WUB (World United Bloggers)

The aim of this blog is to prove to the world that differences in language, religion,race and nationality do not make us hate each other and we can make this world better if we express our opinions with respect to others.

If you agree to join us please send e-mail with your nick name , age , country and your blog address to sharm_lover@hotmail.com where you will be sent an activation mail which makes you entitled to contribute in WUB, your name as one of the contributor will automatically be updated.Please read the rules before you start any posting in WUB where you will also find the aims of this WUB.

Thanks
Chief WUB,


Sharm .

Vest said...

anon (2) Thinking it over. Will let you know later.

Keshi: Your charm and love for life will keep you ageless.

Sharm: Still investigating your blog world. Interesting. No decisions at present, have been busy on domestic issues.

Lolly said...

FaceBook~It does make the world seem such a small place....afterall

Vest said...

Lolly: It, that is the world; is becoming infinitesimally small, seclusion is at risk with the influx of numerous exclusive groups expanding into we "We know everythimg about you", sodding groups. These are all well intentioned in the first instance but like one bad apple in the barrel, can poison the remainder.
Several instances have come to light where the catalyst for Identity theft emerged from these groups, 'facebook' being one quoted as being the most likely culprit as the root cause.
Therefore to avoid any such risk, a polite 'No' To facebook is in order, but I still regard you as a great friend must be your answer.
Should this sort of palaver continue worldwide the word 'Mystery' Will become obsolete.

Jim said...

my children are both earning
i dont need to work any more

i am considering retiring from work
tell me Vest

how do u pass your time
when all your friends are at work

Vest said...

Jim asks how do I pass my time in retirement.
AM, rise about 7-8, 1 Litre glass of filtered & boiled water plus 1 apple.
Er indoors and me share the household duties plus cooking and gardening, of which we are quite competent.
Big shopping (3 hrs weekly),ER intermittent shopping takes many hours weekly, on the computer 3 hours daily or more.
Visiting friends, fishing on our boat, Television, local clubs w/ends, barbecues, and our friends and relo's visiting, tonight is #5 sons 40th birthday, ten for dinner.
We also travel; mainly to visit.
There are periods of family discussion, writing reading, and some times sex if I really have been a good boy. Believe me your time will not have many empty spaces.

Jim said...

i am sold

city guy said...

THERE'S no chance of a comeback for "Kerry Packer's Whores" now, with ACP bosses banning Facebook from the company's Park St headquarters.

Mag-land IT guys have put a block on all staffers accessing the social networking site, with them unable to even log on to the homepage.

The move comes after a bunch of Dolly and Cleo employees started an online discussion group which attacked executives.

Since the organisations' bigwigs found out about the site it has been removed and while all offending "whores" were believed to have kept their jobs, there was an ad for a Dolly web editor advertised on the company's internal website this week.

Amy--swansea. said...

Appears to have become rather sinister, not unlike the Mafia(((:

Xanax said...

1qYdPy Very good blog! Thanks!

JohnBraun said...

1H1zTM write more, thanks.

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