The Daily Gaggle

THE human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures. It has already begun 100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. The human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000. After they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress. These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years. "Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," suggesting that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance. Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, That will make a few of you want to live longer. Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes an...

All due consideration given due to my advancing years, eldest son Chris and nearest and dearest both young in comparison to myself, Mowed the Lawn(Actually its just a mess of Misc grasses and weeds) Also the edges were trimmed and quite a lot of weeding done, and for this I thank you both although it is fact that you both share an equal responsibility concerning the matters mentioned. The general appearance was good; particularly the front of the house. The rear garden however, displayed a new feature namely something which would at first sighting to most people appear to be a U F O had recently parked there. This phenomena was created by Chris who spread the large boat cover on the grass when washed and left in the sun to cook the grass. One of my time wasting hobbies is my garden, Others may look but not interfere. However, Chris in his weeding frenzy pulled from the garden one of my prize winning vegetables thinking it was a weed, His apology fell on deaf ears. This morning taking a...

One of my regular callers Frank Cooke from Barnados U/K has sent this to me, being I am very busy Frank can take care of any mud slinging from the Faith Industry followers. JEWISH CHRISTMAS As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas Time?", she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, my twelve brothers and sisters and I go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys". "Very nice Patrick", she said. "Now, Jimmy what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Jones, my sister and I also go to Church with Mum And Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We har...

I changed the coolant in 'Henry' our Ford Falcon on Thursday-- a hassle to say the least. It leaked yesterday meaning a bottom hose change. Our large boat being prepared for sale (can't cope with it anymore) was in our garage, (Aud$25,000 and its yours),,,, and the falcon was in the drive halfway from being fixed when it tiddled down with rain. It was eventually fixed adding small bruising and a broken fingernail to add to my getting soaked to the skin, Rosemary Say's "Well you won't have to cut the grass today dear but it will be a blessing in the rural community and help douse the bush fires, she then put 'Start you bastard' our mower back in the shed to prevent more anguish... oh no not as such; Chris our son appears with tidings of great joy indicating the freezer had died aged 23 and the defrosting was well advanced. After a rapid cleanup and a visit to the big H/N store our new Fisher & Paykel freezer made in New Zealand (Not ying tong land).....

Denmark, a must read! This article could be seen as racist by some but on the otherhand it could also be seen as a reflection of our own reality that somehow our politicians refuse to see. The interpretation is up to the reader, however it is food for thought....j SALUTE to Denmark .. This could very well happen here on our Continent.... Susan MacAllen is a contributing editor for (FamilySecurity Matters.org) Salute the Danish Flag - it's a Symbol of Western Freedom By Susan MacAllen In 1978-9 I was living and studying in Denmark . But in 1978 - even in Copenhagen, one didn't see Muslim immigrants. The Danish population embraced visitors, celebrated the exotic, went out of its way to protect each of its citizens. It was proud of its new brand of socialist liberalism one in development since the conservatives had lost power in 1929 - a system where no worker had to struggle to survive, where one ultimately could count upon the state as in, perhaps, no other wes...

Probably has something to do with global warming. My chatty barber(I still have hair) a local sports analyst, asks, "I suppose you will be watching the England V South Africa Cricket test matches on the telly shortly, where are they playing"? There are many people like him in oz, some must wonder why the majority of festive greeting cards have a snow feature. Very few Australians, particularly slow moving Queenslanders would grasp the fact that the playing conditions for cricket in Britain(Three months of Northern summer) are no better than the off season for cricket in Australia approx Five months, the Aus cricket season being more than twice that of Britain. Rik pong ting continues to sport an unshaven dial partially hiding the frowns and smirks depending on the fortunes of the game and cock ups of his prone to cheating team mates. In one two hour session of play recently he was seen to have spat on hands fourteen times besides picking his nose and scratching his goolies an...

Doing it quietly is not always the case arriving at that pinnacle of bliss, but there are somethings you just cant change and one of them is that human beings like making babies, so it is nice to know the majority of us are quietly going about the business of keeping the human race going, and it seems those who are leading the charge are women in western Sydney the city's true heartland. Now this is good for the economy and-more importantly-good for brothers and sisters. It's not scandalous or outrageous but behind closed doors across Sydney little miracles are being made every day. Unfortunately some women are making headlines for the wrong reasons, I suppose you might say this a spin off from a former post of mine "Kiss a non smoker and taste the difference"(Archives March 23-05). Most intelligent people who smoke are probably aware that smoking for the first thirty years of your adult life will reduce your life expectancy by up to ten years and also reduce hanky pa...

Down in the South Pacific Lies the land of Oz. Nowt to do with the Judy Garland's 1939 wizard of Oz movie, however, we do have heaps of yellow dust roads just as bumpy as brick ones. As for wizards in oz, we have an over supply drawn mostly from the ranks of failed lawyers, who now pose as leaders of the community. Besides being a country made up seven states, Oz is also a Continent which colloquially speaking occasionally becomes 'Incontinent' due to the diverse weather patterns. Oz is an upside down Country, where Christmas comes during the height of summer when locals get it off instead of rugging up. Our hot winds come from the North; so a southerly wind during the festive season can be a blessing. Officially, today is the first day of summer in Oz, I live on the beautiful Central Coast 120klm North of Sydney in New South Wales on the Pacific Ocean. Last night we required an extra blanket at 2..AM and the temp was 11 Cel at 8..AM. It is now 1030..AM and we have an outsi...

It is not only the Authorities who have to provide answers but parents themselves who blatantly ignore the real needs of children. Grand parents should not be the solution when bringing up children, Grannies have done their job and need to relax take it easy before they pop off to eternity. So why are many modern parents ignoring their responsibilities and neglecting their children like never before. It is simply because of the Us and Me syndrome society where many children are not considered a prime factor within the family and are ignored. A bit of keeping up with the Jones's goes back ages but its now like keeping up with the Forsythe-Silvertail-Smythes. A comfortable house - home indeed yes but a huge mansion to accommodate more than is required in preference to the finance being spent on parental guidance and education and affection, no. Thirty something couples have been dragged into the status cult where bigger and better looking houses have become the new magnet for visual ...

Everyone suddenly is interested in Bruce and his legendry activities. Re comments on previous post. Here goes: Bruce. Another good-looking, thirty-something lady who had employed us for many years was always eager to give me a compliment. During one visit, she asked me to go to the bathroom with her. She looked rather flushed at the time. I thought it might be a plumbing problem. She shut the door and started to undo my zipper. She said, “I know you like me. It’ll only take a few minutes.” I was quite unprepared for this, knowing my son was outside. “Not right now, for Pete’s sake!” I said, zipping up my strides. She kissed me and told me she was disappointed. Shortly afterwards, when the amorous wench was still feeling a bit put out by my rejection, she asked if I would get someone to do her windows on Saturday morning. I told her that on Saturday morning, her wish would come true. On Saturday morning, I sent around a much younger bloke to do the job. Bruce, whose knowledge of women w...

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte, Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri . The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet. Crabby Old Man What do you see nurses? . . . . . What do you see? What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me? A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise, Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes? Who dribble...

TRADITION DICTATES THAT WOMEN CAN ASK MEN TO MARRY THEM ON FEBRUARY 29 IN A LEAP YEAR. A TRIUMPH FOR EQUALITY – OR A RECIPE FOR DISASTER? Amy say's: YES. When I was a little girl, I read Snow White and dreamed that one day I too would be kissed by a handsome prince and awake to a proposal of marriage and happily-ever-after. Then I grew up and got real. What if the prince had commitment problems or was saving up to buy a property? As a passive woman who left her destiny up to fate, poor Snow White would have suffocated in her glass coffin or had to shack up permanently with the seven dwarves. I don’t think there is anything desperate or emasculating about women proposing to men. I feel that if I ever meet Mr Right and want to pop the question, I’ll be able to hand him a ring box without him handing me his testicles. Then again, I’ve never been a girl who’s had the wedding dress picked out before the first-date appetisers arrive. Call me crazy, but I think that if I’m lucky enough to...

I Am firmly opposed to having any dialect of the Chinese People being taught to Primary Schoolchildren within Austalia. We are not part of China - nor do we have a common border with the Communist Chinese or the Nationalists on Taiwan (Formosa).I am aware that P M Kevin Rudd gets his rocks off speaking ying tong but the majority of people here in the land of OZ do not or cannot afford to trot off willy nilly at any given time,to visit Mao's Mausoleum and take in a feed fried dog fritters. The one thing we have in common with the Yellow Hordes is - we owe them billions of oz bucks, courtesy of our PM Kevin Rudd( With a name like that he would never get a job at 'Harland and Wolfe'. There are countless issues that need addressing but learning Chinese at an early age is not a priority and is absolutely ludicrous. English must be the main Primary subject, because in its self it is a complex language to learn which most Australians have not mastered. Carmel Tebutt the NSW Health...

Sergey the carnivore not-unlike a Gater, gobbled his mater with veggies and taters. MOSCOW: A Russian cannibal who ate his mother was given a higher sentence by a judge who said: "He was starving, he needed to eat". Sergey Gavrilov, 27, was jailed for jusy 14 years after confessing; "I did not like the meat very much.It was too fatty. But I was just so hungry, I had to eat it.

Thinking people of this planet make changes possible. Change; should and must bring betterment for all peoples. Stagnation, archaic beliefs, dusty rules and most tradition must be forfeited for the good of all. To desire and strive to be of some service to the world, to aim at doing something which will increase the happiness and welfare of all people(without drugs). This is a choice which is possible for us all, and today is a great day to start that voyage and the search for betterment. Although most of my voyages for betterment were not all successful, there were others who gave all in attempting to save others from future mismanagement. However, I live with the knowledge that I have done my best, and am prepared to do more for others when possible. As I have mentioned, it is a great day today, the sun is bright and I am hot, I have replaced the seeds and plants in the garden which had been murdered by the Cats from next door. I will admit I was more than just slightly miffed but re...

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THE previous year to this, The Fed Govt office of Jill Hall MP produced a calendar. It wasn't until I informed them two months prior to the calendar becoming effective that staffers in her office had noticed this error. However, It was never corrected or requested to be withdrawn. I some times wonder how this may have adversely effected the lives of a few of her less informed constituents. Jill Hall's Week commenced on a Monday Not on Sunday. Congratulations to Donald and Joan Metters. According to the Jill Hall M P Govt Glossy Reports, Donald and Joan Metters were (***Married in 1949 and are celebrating their 50Th Wedding Anniversary and are pictured with Jill Hall at the ceremony. They are listed together with 19 other 50 anniversaries,) also there were 11 60Th wedding anniversaries plus three 65s, and one 70. Five 90 and five 100 birthdays. *** note the cockup. It was their 60th Anniversary not 50th. I sometimes wonder Who first suggested why some land marks of our lives app...

Clever Scam - taking advantage of older men Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. This will only become more commonplace here on the Gold Coast this summer. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Bunnings, or BCF customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and ...

Yes, I am an avid watcher of these two Pommy quiz shows - but my main criticism goes to the way the red hairdo witch on the weakest link comes over as a presenter. Her rude inferences to the contestants do not make her my favourite person. The ingrained British way the contestants grovel to any personage of higher position or presumed importance irritates me. It seems the only questions that I provide an answer to are those whom I can guess her suggested prefixed letter such as P D E C, or N M and F and S just to name a few phonetic possibilities. However I would be totally useless on the show due to my complete misunderstanding of bang clang music from which the majority of questions are hatched. And, someone in charge should tell the Question Master that Haiti is not an Island but Dominica is. How mighty are the fallen. Recently shown in Strayer was the EGGHEADS falling on their sword four times on the trot. There was one occasion where it could have been avoided should they have kno...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Australia The Cradle Of Man According to our "traditional" history of stone-age occupation the Aboriginals were the "first Australians" having arrived here from south-east Asia at least 50,000 years ago. However, throughout a lifetimes research, I have gathered more than enough evidence that we still know nothing about our ancient past and the identity of the actual first inhabitants of our continent. Until 1960, very little archaeological work had been done. Scientists thought the Aboriginals had only lived in Australia for 10,000 years. Then finds at Kenniff Cave, in southern Queensland, produced evidence of Aboriginal occupation dating from as recently as 5,000 years ago back to 19,000 years. This placed the Aboriginal arrival into the last ice-age. In recent years archaeologists have made some amazing discoveries on the Blue Mountains west of Sydney. Rock shelter occupation sites at...