Wednesday, 23 March 2005

Scumbag Cricketers

So why do we have to put up with watching our favourite sports people displaying them selves like drunken ape like louts at a Barry Dogshead afternoon Barby.
The crabby appearance of our nose picking, unshaven crutch scratching Oz Cricketers, who cheat like the blazes, even though being assumed as the best in the world, but I am not too sure about that.
Why refer to them as sporting Heros. I think not, that is bullshite.
Hardly a life threatening dying for your country situation, maybe for their opponents, when that dunny sized blonde weetbix munching dicko loses his cool.
I believe they are a bunch of arrogant actors-well paid icons. nothing else.
Are they worse than the other teams of flanneled fools?
Are Oz umpires cheating our opponents? I think so.
I believe the pommies are nice well bred players. What say you old chappie?
Where is the Wankhede Cricket stadium? Did Robbo once say, dunno I fink they all are?

42 comments:

Fred Bloggs said...

You sound like a life be out of it (never actually go to the cricket)pommy whinger with a chip on his shoulder. This is just vindictive tripe.

Jonesy said...

That's right. Send that bloody has-been Lawsy a book. Never mind about me. Didn't you know I'm the best thing since marmalade-on-toast. Well you sod. No publicity from me. I feel bloody hurt - You cad!

Delta said...

I don't know how I got to this page. Are you playing with my hyperlinks?

Blondie said...

Shit. This page is funny. All these people pretending to be who they are not - or is true. Gee, I feel a little confused

delta said...

im confused too now

Bazza said...

Well, bloody hell. Finally found a blog with the real Delta on it. How are you, you little beauty. Gor blimey. I would love to get my hands on you. Don't think I'm being rude though. Just had to say that. OK. I'm going now. Have to was me hands.

delta said...

TMI Bazza

Anonymous said...

Poor anonymous bigoted fred bloggs. A person I know well, was a twelve year old so he informs me, when he was in london to watch England beat Australia, Eng 903 for 7 dec Aust 201 and 123, Eng won by inns & 579 runs.played Aug 20 to 24 I938. I am also a dinky di Aussie. but I hope this gets up your nose freddy boy, whose real tough bronzed oz name is Aloyisious Cedric Chomondelay.

J L said...

delete my coments hey well you can forget about getting your watch

Stan Zemanek said...

Listen here Vest (strange name), John is not very happy about all these supposed comments by him. Now I know he's a bit of girl, but hey, enough is enough. So I'm going to see if you can take as good as you give - Listen to my show on Friday night at 8:00pm. I'm going to have some fun and give you more shit than you ever though possible... Well, I am pretty damm good at it, you must admit!

Vest said...

I rarely listen to aged Cyclop oraters spouting off on steam radio, but I do remember a person whom you suggest you are, to be a nice cuddly happy go lucky TV and radio person.and I am sure he isn't you, you being a goof nose pimpled faced twit, any more disruptions of this thread by you whacko john, my Granny will be sent around to beat you up.

delta said...

Hi Stan, when are you going to call me stud xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Vest said...

The 's' Word is not welcome here and its excessive usage during normal comments, may cause comments to be deleted.
Exceptions to the rule may be considered when making remarks about dodgey lawyers doctors bankers and similar corporate crimminals, but be careful with names.

Vest said...

Dammit Delta Darling. Dating devious dashing devil-may-care dudes demands decorum.
I bet your real name is Desmond Dithering. Dugger off you silly dong womp.

Julie aged 20 said...

Would it be possible to tell me what a cricket box is, please.

Vest said...

BAZZA You are a very wicked person. Making statements like yours, COMES under offensive spiel. Keep your ejaculations private and within your own hovel.
Blokes like you are potential rapists,dickory dickory .....

Vest said...

Anymore offensive Delta stuff will be put in the bin.

delta said...

Happy Goodrem Friday Everyone

Vest said...

Hello Julie aged 20. A Cricket box is what a male cricketer keeps his balls in so I have just been told. All other misc cricket stuff is kept in a long cavas bag. Wait ... more info: My friend say's it is a device which is used to protect batsmen's teste-monials from being injured by The big Red ball; or the White ball when playing in your pyjamas. My cricketing expert also informs me they are sometimes used by large lady cricketers to prevent lost balls. I hope you understand now, because I don't. the rules of cricket leave me stumped.

lonely Angela said...

Angela,42, divorced, no baggage, v g s o h, S&d, likes happy moments, Mr Vest: I once had lurid mind bending affair with a hunky spunky Pommie Batsman/Batter whatever. Once he was in he was very hard to get out, one day he did not score at all, when he was caught at mid wicket and run out by my ex hubby he then streaked off to the dressing room after only getting a duck, instead of the innings he usually came for, he had never been caught out before, but when he got bowled over it was always his middle stump that went down.
are there any lonely batters out there. Lonely Angela xxx.

Vest said...

Hi Angela 42years of age. I am studying your comment with bleary eyes after arriving home from the Budgewoi soccer club where my liver fought with several J W's.
My inner most feelings indicate, that you sweet angela darling are an easy going middle aged Bimbo, fully qualified to be able to deal with the run of the mill desires of men, particularly men who play cricket. Oh Angie sweetpea your cricket club FORUM story was good,and would be better if it were true, it would be doubtful that any cricketer's boundary would exceed more than one five minute over with you. However you would fit in to be the life and soul of any party, but your other excesses would cost far beyond the boundaries of the average male wallet. Although your yarn is related to this thread, I will indicate right now, this is not an Agony Aunt page, this is supposed to be a blokey thing about cricket.Strewth!!

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cricketing ball tosser Waine. : said...

Now shorn of me fur round me todger
A spray of mortein got rid of the lodgers

Mee Hang Lo said...

I alway cricket play in sometime at konghong, Waine idea bad not?
Good mortein, scratch mee no more at match.

Vest said...

Crikey!! A Batty Dyslectic oriental ball slogger; must have a cricket in his Belfry, indeed a great moniker, Mee Hang Lo, Strewth!!

Mike G From Sydney said...

Angela might be our Angie our vollunteer tea lady who also cleans up in our dressing room it fits her profile, She is amoured to A our wicket keeper who stays back to help her

Andy S said...

Just got a phone call about your comment Mike, never blog myself before I hope this is ok
Your remarks could be about our Angela who works at our club too,
She gets around a bit, she recently said that the baked beans in her bag were there in case UnoU turns up
PS She could be sourcing the Crabs in our Knacker covers (Boxes)

Vest said...

So it appears that the reason for the crutch scratching on the cricket field by most players is simply a good old dose of crabs which could be breeding in players cricket boxes spread around by a sexy tea lady; known by more players than you could poke a stick at, two remedies have already appeared in recent comment, but I would say fella's a good squirt of surface spray would be the best answer. The mystery solved. If the problem persists see your health professional

crazy said...

where do lady cricketers keep there balls

Vest said...

That is a crazy question...dunno mate,looking around might be life threatening, its just too grisly to think about. any lovely lady cricketers out there know, maybe crazy already knows.

Anonymous said...

our oversized Lady wicket- keeper says watch it you drongo, Iv'e stopped a lot of balls but not lost any so PO

D Bird of Redfern said...

newspapers reported a poor crowd on a wet day at the Sydney cricket ground, no one in the south stands at all. Comment in the newspaper the following day read, "Wrong" I was there with at least 50 of my family and we enjoyed a most pleasant day scratching around, signed A Seagull,

Alec said...

I am a avid cricket goer and a ex grade player and am fairly clued up to the antics which take place on the field of play. watch the strange signals from the umpires to the fielding captain; after being knocked back after several L BW appeals.
A nod from the UMP to the capt means I will give him out on your next appeal and the Umpire showing two fingers means, 'you owe me two beers Bucko"

old umpire said...

umpires have micro sleeps and I can tell you from experience that usually before an appeal when I had nodded off... the loud noise of the players appeal and the shock of waking would give me an upward arm movement... meaning out

Vest said...

My favourite radio personality and sports newscaster Robbo; announced a few years ago that the Aus v India cricket test in India was being played at the WANKHEDE Stadium, then dryly remarked " I thought all cricket stadiums were wankhead stadiums" Well said Robbo!! The real Wankhede stadium is located in Mumbai...formerly Bombay...info for the Bazza and F Blogg type, beer swilling cricket watchers.

Appeal to be heard said...

I am now very old, but long time ago Indian cricket player on sub continent.
I must very much like to tell my views on the matter of very very bad mistaken happenings by umpires.
Some umpires fearfull for loosing there living, when spoke about badly by news papers.
Going back I remember many times in your beloved country when I was given 'out' very very badly by umpires when frighted by loud screaming appeals,, the weak umpire was being glared at and in fright by ugly looks from fielding players, it goes on still and should be stopped now!!!! Please do what I ask. use the third umpire and the batmens benefit of doubt law. I dont like cricket...Oh no...I love it. A Singh.

silver fern said...

sounds as if he's going on about- Caught W A Swampi- bowled W A Chilli,lots of them were dead dodgy appeals in the 1970s onwards.

Percy Vere Dinky Di Oz said...

So it appears us Aussies were done over by those dashing English gentlemen. The biggest win ever, Eng 903 for 7, Aus 201 and 123, but why arn't we reminded about it? but then the Kiwis got out to the poms for 26 in one innings, it does'nt bear thinking about.
somstimes i wonder how cricket survives in England? us Aus gents play 7 months of the year, the poms have a season of 3-4 months, which is played in weather conditions similar to our off season.
We are the lucky country, our aus climatic conditions weigh heavily in our favour; to be able to play all sports in comfort. I wonder what our sporting records would read like if we lived in European climatic conditions?

juliemum of t&j said...

Hi nice rich ex F I L. Please would you tell me where on your blog is the cricket post, I asked the question about a cricket box awhile back but cant find it, luvs yaX

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