A DAY AT THE WYONG RACES
Tomorrow My youngest son Tim and I (NO WOMEN this is a blokey thing) will see who can lose the most dosh at the Wyong race meeting. Tim and other senior management at A. T. F. Mining Electrics and myself plus a few International sporting Icons will discuss nothing of importance at the luncheon except introductions and drinks and good cordial chatting during the afternoon race meeting. The wash up of this day out will be posted soon? For the very Latest News. www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph My favorite newspaper which I have delivered daily. Washup Indeed: Our district has had about four inches of rain overnight and up to about an hour ago. The race course is now under water and all bets are off . Day out cancelled. As I write the rain has just just started again and is teeming down.
Comments
I m an old young man too TODAY
just like u guys
I woke up in the morning and found I had turned 60 today
.......... I am 60 years young and it would seem like there is nothing exciting ahead of me.
But....you never know........
Sales girl: Can I help you, Sir?
Young man: Yes, I want to buy some condoms.
Sales girl: What size do you need, Sir?
Young man: I didn't realize they came in different sizes. I don't know what size I would need.
Sales girl: May I hold your penis to tell what size you would need? As she was holding the penis, she called for assistance: "Give me a SMALL one... Wait! Make it MEDIUM...Wait! Make it LARGE... Shit! Give me a TISSUE !!!"
He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in College Station that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks. "
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue into that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read... so he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing' around with that young lady who lives in town?"
The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid. Wally went on to be a successful lawyer and then went into politics.
CWG disaster
Security breaches
filthy Games Village
Floods
Ayodhya Verdict
Hey RAM !
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one