Friday, 23 August 2019

I am back once more after a sojourn in the local hospital (Wyong) where the experience of the week of treatment was gratifying and pleasant. I awoke this morning at home 99 % pain-free.that is until I checked the ENG v Aus Cricket Score. It seems the absence of SANDY Smith the OZ Batsman has left the Aus team with a piddling tiny score in their first innings. Nevertheless, my team can always win due to my Dual citizenship.
Here is an explanation of the game of cricket for people around the world who have missed out on this sporting debacle. Enjoy.

CRICKET IV'E GOT YOUR WICKET, RIGHT HERE

The following preamble is a layman's explanation of the rules of cricket to the people of North America.
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he is out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When one side is all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that has been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out trying to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice, after the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
The general rules of actual play are saturated with a glossary of terms and conditions with sub-rules, with the prefixes 'Unless, depending, benefit of doubt, and other Misc Claptrap, every morsel of important cricket goings-on is recorded in WISDEN a sacred hard to get book with more info on cricket than Brittanica, from the time the first ball was bowled in Hambledon Hampshire England in the early 19th century . There is more to read in Wisden than the 'Holy Bible' or the 'SevenPillars of WISDOM'. 
Vest Daily Gaggle.

11 comments:

Christine said...

I’m pleased to hear you’re back home Uncle Les 😘 and hope you’re feeling much better
Sending lot of love and hugs xx

Elephant's Child said...

I am glad to hear you are home and feeling better. Hooray for positive experiences at the hospital (sadly rare).
Cricket? Not for me.

Andrew said...

I am pleased that I know enough about cricket to be able to almost understand the explanation. Good to hear you are at home.

Vest said...

I would like to thank the staff at the Wyong hospital and particularly the nice nurse who assisted my recovery and in the shower.
Other info. I lost 5 kilos over eight days. At this point in time, I have no pain.

Vest said...

E C.There was one nurse who was not a great listener and suggested I stopped pushing the buzzer all night when I had not touched the darn thing but once at 7-50 to go to the loo. she reminded me of the female character in the Movie 'MISERY'. looks and all.

Vest said...

Christine. Thanks. And likewise your recovery too. It was sad to hear about Davy- so young too. LOVE You XXX.

Vest said...

ANDREW. There are three ducks two ones an 8 and a eleven in the Oz score overnight. absolutely frightful.

Sue, Bowyer said...

Good morning Les

Great news to hear that you're home. I had day surgery on Tuesday, gynecological and back to work today. On Sunday, it will be 4 years since I lost Dad and my Mum would've been 76 on August 14. Little Oscar turned one on August 8.

Tomorrow Greg and I are heading to Narrabeen for lunch at the invitation of his Mum as her brother is visiting from Victoria. Both Gregs Mum and Dad returned from Pottsville after she stood in for a bowls comp. He is 93 in September and she is 89 in October.

Greg's cousin and husband are in Vietnam and were visiting Halong Bay which made me think of you and your Naval career.

Well, just finishing my coffee on the train to work.

Have a lovely day and take care xx

Elsie Hanlin. said...

That explanation of the games is about as clear as the actual rules. Hope you stay well now.

Vest said...

The absence of Sandy Smith with a severe headache has left the Aus team dead in the water of the pitch.

Dylan said...

Glad to hear you've recovered well!

If dual citizenship means you can claim to win regardless of the victor, does that mean as an Earthling, you can never lose a game of Human versus Human sport?

I am back once more after a sojourn in the local hospital (Wyong) where the experience of the week of treatment was gratifying and pleasant....