Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies. John Leonard Spencer
Recommended Reading

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Getting your OATS At the right price. plus Henry(1) has gone.

Oats at the right price.   
This information has nothing whatsoever to do with sowing ones wild oats or wild rice if you are oriental. This is a story regarding a marketing ploy which has been going on for some considerable time, a ploy with a 'good old uncle theme' which bamboozles the television advert  suckers in believing that 'Uncle Toby's  porridge oats (Grits If you are a Yank) is superior than any other likened product.
    Well today was the day I did the visual, taste, and costing tests.
    In front of me on the kitchen bench were four bowls of porridge, all of equal size  from four different sources, they were marked and switched around, they all looked similar, but I was unable to even guess which was which. a half teaspoon of sugar was added  with 100mls of lukewarm Lite milk
and then three members of the family did the taste test.
    The taste test revealed that if there was any difference it was not noticeable.

    The contestants in this test; ALDI 750 grams at $1-19 or $!-59 per kilo. COLES 900 grams at $1-48.or $1-65 per kilo. Woolworth's, at 14 cents per 100 gram  or $140 per kilo.

 In all it cost me  $4-64 for all of those products mentioned. However, the pretty box of 'Uncle Toby's Porridge oats set me back at $5-50. per kilo,

Lesson learned. that fools and their money are soon parted

All tests carried out  were by Mother Bear, 80, Daddy Bear 88, and Baby Boy Bear 60. known throughout the world as the "Three Bears"

...........................................................................................................................................................

Henry my old ford falcon was sold two hours ago . Sold to people we have never met but
lived next door to people we know 50 odd kms distant - unwise to the Internet sale., creepy isn't it.... Henry's successor is another more sprightly Henry Mk 3 Falcon  4 litre straight six . 'Whroooom'  with an 88 year old driver who still has most of his marbles.

Vest ... back soon..                                    

Thursday, 25 September 2014

A Flying Doctor Service?.

There were about a dozen people in the Doctors Surgery (office)when I arrived ten minutes late for my appointment I made a hurried apology to the more than good looking chick at the desk then sat down
     Waiting time at our doctors office can be lengthy at times rarely less than half an hour  or more if you are late.
      The reason for being late was talking to the wife who had returned from a shopping expedition  which conjours up multiple why's and what for's, then seeing I was behind time for my Doc's appointment I hurriedly changed clothes - a quick look in the mirror(which makes little difference) hurried down the stairs -stroked the cat on the hall table then glanced at my watch which said 11 35 (I have a talking watch?), soon I was in the car travelling the kay distance to the docs office; arriving and parking out side I was in the doc's in a flash.
     Barely having time to scratch;  my  given name was called by the afore mentioned chick behind the desk, " number four please  Leslie"  which it seems every one now knows in the doc's office..
My conversation with the doc was brief  who wrote a prescription - plus he checked my blood pressure when any moment I expected blood to come spurting from my fingers, which reminded me to check the cars tyres  soon as poss. I paused on my way out to  mention to  previously mentioned chick that, it was my fastest turnaround in this docs office despite being late, she not given to garrulity simply  smiled.
     Two doors down the street was the chemist shop where my prescription was dealt with poste haste as I was the only customer, shortly after  I was in the car and heading home.  On  arrival at the front door my watch indicated my journey had taken just 21 minutes - Phew!!

"OK speedy Gonzalez - Beat that."

VEST....Back soon..

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Divided They Fall.

Tomorrow Thursday Sept 18, Registered voters in Haggis Land Will vote Yea or Nay in a referendum which will seal their fate one way or another, and a yes vote will give the bagpipe blowers independence from Britain for ever. Lesser thinkers unlike the wise who realize that a 'Yes' vote will cripple Scotland and bring mass Exodus of financial Business, fearing the rampaging left wing Bludgers - will be the downfall of a new scottish Govt. Despite any pre conceived ideas that the north sea oil revenue will jack up Scotlands ever increasing unemployment which is purely a myth, as Scotland does not own or control the North sea oil Industry, local thinking is we will become another Saudi Arabia, which is out of the question. There is greater unemployment in Scotland than the rest of Britain, Scotlands bagpipe blowers have an unemployment rate nearly that of Lakemba in NSW Australia. Britain or what is left of it have decided not to invade Scotland despite claymore waving antagonists hoping when they become Skint Conquering the Scots again will bring financial relief. However, should the Scots become independent, it is expected Scots entering Britain at border checkpoints will have to stand on mirrors to ensure they are wearing more than just socks under their Kilts. Question is , 'Will the Blue be removed from the JACK'? Vest.... Back soon.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Arab Diggers?

During umpteen conflicts(Wars)ranging from the Boer wars in Suid Afrika to our present plethora of never ending racial/religious punch ups,young men and women from the Commonwealth countries have answered the call to arms when called upon to assist their mother country. Now; most of these mother countries are located in the 52 countrie on the African continent or the neighbouring middle east which has been the catalyst for most wars during the past two thousand years. Other Conflicts , the WW1 WW2 Korea Vietnam and the Falklands, young persons from the commonwealth flocked to the cause with the blessing of most Govt's of Brit Com countries. During these wars Civilians were the most vulnerable, but casualty lists only mention the militia in most cases, example being ww2 produced the demise of 35,000,000 civilians and 15,000,000 militia. Although the Australian Govt does not condone their citizens of Middle Eastern origin to fight in foreign wars, I for one see it to be little different from the wars involving Britain where patriotism was condoned and expected. Australians Citizens of Arab ethnic origin should be allowed to go and fight for whomsoever they wish in their native or neighbouring country. In fact we should press the Australian Govt to pay their Single ticket fare to their desired destination. but an edict deeming this an act of terrorism will have the effect of creating the passports and return visas null and void. this info passed to air and shipping lines will place the onus on the carrier when any attempt to return to Australia is attempted. To add to this all peace loving Cits of Australia should encourage this by donating to an approved Govt fund to send these brave militants to their demise. To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die. Vest, enjoying another beautiful sunny spring day on the Central Coast of NSW Australia. My hope is you are having a pleasant day too.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Dear Lord.

While attending a funeral recently. In church I heard a lady in the pew next to me saying a prayer. It was so sweet and sincere that I just had to share with you:- "Dear Lord, This has been a tough two or three years. You have taken my favourite actor Patrick Swayze. My favourite pop singer Michael Jackson. My favourite Blues Singer Amy Winehouse. My favourite actress Elizabeth Taylor. My favourite football manager Bobby Robson. My favourite golfer Seve Ballesteros and now my favourite singer Whitney Houston. I just wanted you to know that my favourite politicians are: Alec Salmond, Tony Blair, John Prescott, Ed Balls, Gordon Brown, Harriet Harman, Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband, Clive Palmer, George Bush, Paul Keating, PM Putin, to say a few,in no particular order I will send another list when you are not busy. Amen. VEST....Back soon.

Thursday, 4 September 2014

The Morality of Dishonesty.I'M Back.

The Morality of Dishonesty. A few years ago robbers entered a bank in a small town. One of them shouted: "Don't move! The money belongs to the bank.Your lives belong to you.” Immediately all the people in the bank laid on the floor quietly and without panic. This is an example of how the correct wording of a sentence can make everyone change their view of the world. One woman lay on the floor in a provocative manner. The robber approached her saying, "Ma'am, this is a robbery not a rape.Please behave accordingly." This is an example of how to behave professionally, and focus on the goal. While running from the bank the youngest robber (who had a college degree)said to the oldest robber (who had barely finished elementary school): "Hey, maybe we should count how much we stole.?" The older man replied: "Don’t be stupid. It's a lot of money so let's wait for the news on TV to find out how much money was taken from the bank." This is an example of how life experience is more important than a degree. After the robbery, the manager of the bank said to his accountant: "Let's call the cops and tell them how much has been stolen." "Wait”, said the Accountant, "before we do that, let's add the 800,000 dollars we took for ourselves a few months ago and just say that it was stolen as part of today’s robbery." This is an example of taking advantage of an opportunity. The following day it was reported in the news that the bank was robbed of 3 million dollars. The robbers counted the money, but they found only 1 million dollars so they started to grumble. "We risked our lives for 1 million dollars, while the bank's management robbed two million dollars without blinking? Maybe its better to learn how to work the system, instead of being a simple robber." This is an example of how knowledge can be more useful than power. Moral Give a person a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a person a bank, and he can rob everyone.

Monday, 18 August 2014

Warning to Australian Cricketers.

Aug 17. England Beat INDIA By an Innings and 244 runs in 3 days, see scores... go to Google "BBC Cricket". ** Nearly as bad when on Aug 24 1938 England beat Australia By an Innings and 579 runs in four days, played 20, 21, 22,24 Aug ** This is rarely discussed in OZ cricket boardrooms. BTW I am having serious problems with my computer may be off for a while. Vest.

Friday, 15 August 2014

Today August 15 is VJ Day. Not rpt Not VP day

     During my earlier years there was a cheapo wine being flogged around Britain  named VP  the grapes  which were used to produce it had been pressed more than once - with a bit of colour and other misc juices added so we were reliably informed by an insider at the production plant.
     Apart from the middle classes and upward few people had the taste for wine apart from the country bumpkins who made their own brews from an assortment of fruits and veggies IE parsnips and elderberries, produced the white and red and were the most favoured in my tiny village.
      And so it came to pass that The VP  logo  remained  in my mind as  something not quite the real thing.
     Most servicemen and women who were involved with the war against Japan  will remember the  fighting occurred in the South Atlantic as well as the Pacific regions also the Indian ocean. so to make it simple to remember it was originally named after the main enemy 'V J Day or victory over Japan Day.
     In Britain the victory against the Axis powers Which in the main were Germany Italy And Japan, plus Austria and Hungary was good reasoning to refer to the ending of hostilities as VE Day being that 95 percent of the conflict happened in Europe.
     However, like all good 'Turtle on the Fencepost' Australian Politicians' The short arsed Skinhead wee jolly Johnny Howard, another of the host of draft dodging chicken hawk fence post pollies, decided without a referendum to alter the title V J to VP for reasons of his own peculiar selfish attitude.
     The only time's  that I recall fighting the Pacific ocean were March 30-31- 1945 during a Typhoon  off Sakishima Gunto when all of the BPF Ships were going bows under;. also something similar in Sagami bay late Aug 1945.
     However I do have some very vivid memories being involved against the imperial forces of Japan; when I was aged from 17.5  years to 19.1years.

              TODAY IS V J DAY Lest we Forget.

       "Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future."

          Vest..... Back soon.


Requested by CA, USA.

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, a Doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leader
 
The old farmer said, "Well, as I see it, most Politicians are Post Turtles'.'' With very few not in this category! 
Not being familiar with the term, the Doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the Doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know the turtle didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of idiot put him up there to begin with." sic.

            

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Finally you must always be happy

         
            The catastrophe of the Caliphate.

     The Caliphate means absolute rule by a religious dictator. One Man holds the power to interpret and implements God's will
     Living under  such rule has historically proven traumatic to all concerned. ISIS  appears to be no exception - as it embraces a medieval (Plus Evil)  interpretation of the Muslim Sharia law..
     Incidentally these are the Blokes Alqaeda cut ties with because they were too extreme. The civil population of Ninevah in Iraq are now subject to ISIS, who have already begun executing its opponents, reports of Crucifixion's abound, women must be covered at all times and accompanied by a male relative . All drugs are banned  and graves are forbidden. caught stealing you lose your right hand (Left if you are a Mollydooker).  Question the Caliph's authority and you will be crucified.
     Finally you must always be happy.

Vest Say's..... Leave undone whatever you hesitate to do.......Back soon

BTW, It has rained at last, so now it is both wet and cold.!!
 


Sunday, 10 August 2014

Seems that wet weather attracts the Ducks.

The daily showers promised for the past week failed to materialise. The wild ducks feeding in our garden  flew off to places yonder  searching for the  weather famed for attracting Ducks.
No better place for wet weather(other than Bangladesh) is Manchester England  where the rainfall exceeds all other areas in the U/K for tiddling down, 
However, the most likely time for precipitation is when a Cricket test match is scheduled, to take place at the Old Trafford Cricket ground, which doubles for Manchester's  main  reservoir in the summer season, But why in heaven they play Cricket in Manchester beggars belief as the records tell us very few games or matches ever end in a winning result.the most favoured  news releases are 'Rain stops play', or 'Match abandoned due to rain.'.. But recently the whole spectrum has become unravelled and despite the accustomed wet weather a result in the game of cricket has emerged in Manchester due mainly to the  muddled brain of the  Indian cricket captain .
    On Wednesday 6th Aug It rained in Manchester and the scheduled start on Thursday was delayed . However the pitch was deemed playable despite the wet outfield  and India won the toss and did the unthinkable and decided to bat on a 'Wet wicket'. The term 'Wet Wicket' is widely known as an unfavourable situation'.
At that magical point in time a flock of ducks descended onto the cricket ground, but not those from our garden in Australia ; Even Aussie ducks can't fly as fast as the Indian cricket team Ducks..

If you are a null and void devotee of cricket or an American, the rest of this yarn will confuse you further than it has done already- but for serious OZ strayan cricket followers the Indian scoreboard at the end of their dismal innings  Included a test record of six players with no score; or in cricket terms SIX DUCKS from their total score of  152.in their Ist innings.

    There has been a result in this test match. England won by an innings and 54  runs with two days to spare probably another record - at least for Manchester..

BTW. A duck or no score in cricket is defined by the figure 0 nought in the score book, no score, 0 being the shape of a duck egg..

Enough to scramble yer brain ennit.

Vest ....Back soon.

     

Friday, 8 August 2014

Privilege, A great starter in life.

    Recently I took up the offer from the Sydney Daily Telegraph ( delivered daily to my door) to purchase  for $25 The World wide meanderings of David Attenborough in 14 DVDs, 54  bucks if you buy them daily from your newsagent.
I am and always will be a fan of David Attenborough, his wanderings around the English countryside were likened to my childhood days in the countryside. Frogs Newts sticklebacks the brook the ponds river ,birds, hay, rabbits, gardens. you name it, I was involved..

But that was where any similarities to DA ended.

     My life as a uneducated country bumpkin ended when at exactly ten years and five months of age. I was forced into a life of deprivation at Watts Naval Training School for five years and 22 days with Two  three week holidays per year , Summer and Xmas. then on the 7th day of Jan 1942 , I was delivered to the British Royal Navy when 15 yrs and 6 months old . my captors Barnardo's Homes. received a finders fee of 25 pounds Sterling. * (*equal to ten weeks pay for a farm  hand.)

By the age of 21  I had been in the Wartime Home fleet the Med fleet the east indies and the pacific wars, plus involved in the 'Exodous saga in the med in !947 and sailed a couple of hundred thousand miles.

Reading a biography of David Attenborough. It stated he was born eight weeks before me ,  and joined the British Royal  Navy as a middy I presume for his privileged national service at age 21. totally missing any conflict and stationed in Wales and Scotland leaving the RN when 23 as a Sub/ Lt. This came about by being nurtured by privilege, having wealthy parents and a college education. Or being a pacifist perhaps?

Our most indelible moments in the past are not lost though we have no particular poem to show for them; for those experiences have left unforgettable impressions, and we are ever reminded of them.

Have an exciting weekend, get out and smell the flowers.

Vest.... Back soon.


Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Yet another Faux Pas at our Local News Agent.shop.

Over the past few years several uncalled for situations have happened in our local news agency. foot in mouth statements like" we don't get many sales for sixty first wedding anniversary cards and do you know how much you are spending on Lotto have been among other little quips suggesting being old I must be bloody stupid.
Today it was 8-30 AM when I reluctantly removed my self from my warm bed to dash to the freezing  bathroom, It is winter here in sunny Budgewoi on the Central Pacific Coast of NSW OZ.
After Brekky and five Min's on my PC I prepared Dinner for today, read today's Sydney Daily Telegraph (delivered daily to my door) then later fed the wild birds and watered the garden.
Being told my wife Rosemary was thinking of taking a walk to the local shops, I presented her with our Lotto Winning coupons with a note which read '$90-75 TO COLLECT. THEN PUT SAME NUMBERS  BACK ON FOR MON WED and SAT.Thank you..
Shortly after I received a telephone call from the news agency when a female voice stated there is no money in the folder. I was cheesed off and stated The obvious, that the note indicates we have won and there is no need for money to  renew the punt for next week using the same numbers, But then I put my foot in it by saying "Even a rocking horse would understand that" , then the phone went dead her end...Shortly after my wife returned  home to inform me that the girl in the News agency was in tears when she left with the matter resolved.
Now I must ask myself should I apologise and bang my head on the wall as punishment or should I shop elsewhere or simply let it all go away.
OK Then; right or wrong I'll say "SORRY, And that will I hope Finish this silly Saga.

Vest back Soon.

Friday, 1 August 2014

The Passing Of Stanley Joseph Howard, R I P.

Today I read in my favourite newspaper the Sydney Daily Telegraph of the passing of Stanley Joseph Howard the  elder sibling of former PM' Wee little John Howard.
According to the eulogies read at Stanley J Howard's funeral , good old Stan was a successful Corporate Lawyer and Lover of Cricket. Maybe the fearful news of the ascending power of England's  cricketers recently thrashing India; sent him over the edge.
Now for you lovers of pollies and corporate loophole larry's, it may come as a surprise to you that Big brother Stanley was not always a squeaky clean manipulator of the law, I was reminded of the post which I wrote back in 2006, when a list of 'Good old Stans 'nefarious activities were exposed. Read on.

BTW. Sydney Daily Telegraph take note. In the lotto results today there is a major cockup.
Numbers read,  !3  31  40  2  25  35, supps, 20 & 35.. Can you spot the error?


Wednesday, 18 January 2006


THE AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTERS SIBLING IS NICKED FOR KNOBBLING SAPLINGS

The Australian Prime Ministers brother Stan Howard, will be prosecuted for chopping down dozens of endangered trees.
Stan Howard who owns two adjoining properties in Bowral in the Southern Highlands, faces a jail term or a hefty fine if found guilty of knowingly giving the chop to the threatened species on his Aus$6.2 million property.
The caretaker of the property Rohan Corby was visited by a local Ranger after a tipoff, who discovered about 60 trees had been destroyed.
Stan Howard it seems was dobbed in by a woman neighbour who had waited years for permission to cut down a small number of trees on her property she regarded a fire risk.
Rohan Corby stated that the work carried out by a contractor was to lessen fire and snake risk and control the Rabbit population.
Stan Howard told the ranger he thought the contractor knew that the work was legally carried out. 'This is not the case said the ranger' and the Australian Prime Minister's elder sibling was prosecuted and faces at least a year in the slammer or a Aus$110,000 Fine; or both. This is not the first time the brother of our Draft Dodging Chicken Hawk Prime Minister has landed in the poo. In 2000 National textiles collapsed under his chairmanship with debts exceeding Aus$29 million. The tax payers via the Fed Govt forked out Four million bucks in outstanding payments to 340 former employees.
Just another out sourcing job by greedy corporate pigs. It is more the pity we are unable to outsource Excess Useless and Uneconomical blood sucking politicians who allow their cronies to drain the public purse.
My dilemma at the polling booth is, that my wallet wants to vote Blue and my concience Red.
PS: I wonder if our little short arsed wimp of a PM will visit his big brudder in the slammer, would be quite amusing.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...
I hope he does not escape the drudgery of prison life by having his FILE ofax accompanying him
scumbagsaid...
you replied to me the other day that you got stoned. i didn't know aussies smoked weed!?! that's totally fucking rad man!
Mirandasaid...
The mental images this invokes are great. What do you think of John Howard, Vest? :)
Vestsaid...
Miranda: I try hard not to think of John Howard the career politician, I have personally crossed swords with that slimy snake.
Shortly before the Sept 11 incident, a minder of JH was aked by an American Journo
"ER the name of your PM is Mr Hunt is it not"
"No mate " came the reply,"But you nearly had it right".
Vestsaid...
For info only, I shall not be available, from now until Feb 10 06.
The Zombieslayersaid...
Just another out sourcing job by greedy corporate pigs. It is more the pity we are unable to outsource Excess Useless and Uneconomical blood sucking politicians who allow their cronies to drain the public purse.

What a bummer that your country is doing this too. So I guess it's not just American corporations that are so greedy that they'll sell out their own people for a quick buck. :(
gordonsaid...
hey that statement by the yank journalist. reminds me of the film 'porkies'when the dumb blonde walked around the bar asking 'Has anyone seen Mike hunt'
Zedsaid...
Yeah Gordon- saw two porky movies abit far fetched like shit from china
Zedsaid...
balls

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Not a Voortrekker in sight.

Took a quick squizz at the Daily Telegraph sport pages today, flipped the first dozen or so at the rear end, .mostly the usual Thugby league garbage. and lots of praise for Oz sporties in Haggis land.
There was no mention of any Cricket. The bevy of cranky Telegraph pro Oz - Pom baiters were probably at a loss to find some detrimental bilge to sling at the 'new awakening' in the English cricket test team; now devoid of Suid Afrikaners born of British parentage which formed the basis of much bellyaching from the Aussie  bludgerygalahs who have forgotten the likes of Temporary Ozzie's Brit Andrew Symonds and S African; Kepler Wessells and others who strengthened the OZ team in time's  of woe and the crying of a Kim Hugh's and the Oz PM during  the period the  Aussies couldn't win a game even if they cheated.
It seems the England Team declaring their First innings closed in the High 500s against India could be the catalyst for improvement in the England test team for a while.

Have a sporty day ....Vest ...Back soon.

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Can you do better than this or give up trying.

       
 
Once again readers are invited to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some examples
§ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
§ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
§ Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
§ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
§ Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
§ Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
§ Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
§ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, really bad.
§ Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
§ Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
§ Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
§ Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
 
 
Here are the submissions in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.


§ Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
§ Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
§ Abdicate v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
§ Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
§ Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
§ Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
§ Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
§ Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
§ Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
§ Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
§ Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
 
Add your submissions to these lists in the comment s section.

My wife who has a memory recall problem, suddenly this morning reminded me of a Lt David Griffith RN who was our neighbour in H/Kong in the mid 60's Who referred to the Tissues called Sneeze Proof Scotties , as Sqeeze Proof Snotties. David.  I haven't heard from  since leaving U/K in 1971. David would be about 78  now..

Vest... back soon.

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

She who seeks a Lord HeeWhore. prudes should not read this.

    Tacky Jacoui one of  our new brood of senators, a lusty female whose inner thoughts are rarely away from lustful fornication, had this to say on air when she  described her preferred type of male sexual partner.

They must have heaps of cash and they've got to have a package between their legs, let's be honest. I don't need them to speak.  Describing her ideal male partner.
On Air,
"Are you well hung"? To  a 22 year old caller 'Jamie'
:Hung like a donkey"replies J
She Say's "Oh is that right! I've got a 24 year old son who reckons he is too.. He says" that as well."
     In  a display of bad taste, Senator lambie spoke on commercial radio about her preference for well endowed men, To get the full story Try the "daily Telegraph , Which is delivered daily to my front. door.. Maybe Tacky Jacui was chasing the donkey vote.

Would the act of sex with ex army Female Corporal Jacoui Lambie, be classified as 'Corporal Punishment' and be banned  by law?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/tasmanian-senator-jacqui-lambie-attempts-to-find-boyfriend-on-australian-radio-are-you-well-hung-9621925.html

Excerpt from my memoirs

1944 WW2.




Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services
Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his
legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my
duty as the bowman of the ship’s motor cutter gave me a chance to
dispatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell
was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong
Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things.
Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ‘Alex,’ was very
diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post
cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor,
curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced
publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the
imagination. ‘The Naughty Countess’ was one and the other, ‘The
Autobiography of a Flea.’

The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books
absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to
as Alex AFO’s (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted
about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would
never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman
and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions
when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating,
for example, “It is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the
internationally acclaimed donkey, ‘Lord Hee Whore’ aged fifty one years,
signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egypt”. This
was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, “Cor blimey! That
bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.”


Vest daily gaggle ...back soon.

Copying is bad ,Sorry about that.







 




 
 

Saturday, 19 July 2014

How would you deal with the worlds problems.

Talking to oneself can conjure up a heap of ridicule from unsympathetic bystanders, But if you are alone it can be done with impunity. Soliloquy or thinking aloud or soul searching without interruption from others around us is something we should all do more often, it is a great way to resolve any problems which we are confronted with.
I was once told many years ago  by my Music teacher who was a conscientious objector during WW2 that the Meek will inherit the earth and only drug and alcohol free pacifists who were truthful to the core were those qualified to advise the worlds population the correct path to the health and happiness of all creatures on this planet.
Feather nesting politicians rorting the systems who suffer from  degenerating solipsism; a mental disorder which shows them as the only one or self who exists with verifiable knowledge  are veritable running mates with the bunch of cretins whom we shall refer to as Solifidians  These persons do not use the thought processes, they use enshrined archaic wisdom written on goat skins by long gone idiotic scribes with less grey matter than a rocking horse or more simply described as persons who believe religious faith alone without works is all that is needed for justification
Being a cynical person I believe eventually some deranged govt in this world will drop a 'Big One' which will decimate mankind, or leave a bunch of meek pacifists to create a new world order with only a bunch of ugly Morlocks to sort out for generations to come
On the other hand should we continue  to encourage the demise of our loony war mongers by gifting them weapons of mass destruction?  until only the smoke and weeds are visible.

My heartfelt sympathy to those relatives of victims of the recent Malaysian Air disaster.

Vest.... back soon.

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overciming it.  (Moliere)

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Loud mouth Sheik just a Con Man...Plus . MUS reTARD in hot pickle.

     The Silly Jihad element in Australia continues to entertain. A suspected war criminal Khaled Sharouf who is or was a disability pensioner in Australia, has had his payments stopped. after it was discovered he had found gainful employment shooting his fellow people. At least he made it to the Middle East, but not so a guy named Musa Cerantonio.
       Cerantonioa a well known Bull/S artist and loudmouth  has fooled his fellow Jihadist's by instead of going to the middle East to fight for some jihadist lost cause, decided the Philippines was a much safer place and chose to make love and not fight (Which in anyone's book would be the wisest action to pursue). Cerantonio a self styled sheik stated on twitter he had made it to the Middle East and was engaged in fighting. However it seems his only fight has been in the bedrooms of Phillipino Hotels where he has been pounding the  mattresses with his local lover; a female fashion designer.
     Cerantonio,  somehow collected his ill gained pension payments until a sharp eyed centrelink person caught him out; who assumed he had found gainful employment like Khaled by shooting his fellow Muslims. These pension payments were used to pay for his amorous pursuits until he failed to pay his accom bills through lack of dosh which was his undoing and prompted a clash with the local Fuzz
The outcome of this charade will be interesting to follow up, by all accounts this war dodging wimp will certainly have much to answer to when he faces his fellow hardcore jihadist rello's on his return to Strayer who will most certainly " Not be amused"

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing.. (Muhammad Ali).

Vest.... back soon.

Update re Malaysian Airliner disaster July 17, 2014.

Going back one Year and one Day, my wife and I flew on a similar northern loop from Guangzhou China over Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Russia,Ukraine, Poland, Germany, Belgium and landed in Paris France, a 13.5 Hour flight, then a half hour flight to London.  I had spent my 87th Birthday on Chinese French and English soil.
We are considering going to the Sceptred Isle next year but will choose a more southerly flight loop, but not sure about flying Malaysian Airlines ....Vest.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Today in History July !6.

In the year of !926 , On July 16, VEST AKA ME was born  on a Friday At 21 Homerton Place, Hackney , London, E8, England.

In the year of 622.also on the 16th of JulyThe prophet Mohammad fled from Mecca and took flight to Medina.
'I suppose it was made possibly by the Then 'Magical Axminster Airways.'

The year of 1945 saw the explosion of the test 'Atom Bomb' in the New Mexico desert. This disastrous event unknown to me at the time;  happened on my Nineteenth Birthday while serving as a seasoned sailor on HMS KGV, during the Pacific War

The year of 1969 Apollo 11 left earth at 9pm BST July 16  for its flight to the moon,where it landed on my mums birthday.

In 1971 Reaching the age of 45 years while en route to Australia, my family of wife and five sons 4-17 and myself travelled to the top of 'Table Mountain' while in Capetown South Africa

In the year of 2013, My 87th birthday My wife and I while flying to England set foot in the C Republic of China, France and England on the same day.

In 1966 July 16. I retired from the British Royal Navy on Pension with Ann increases. I was at last free from bondage, and one of the happiest days of my life. being able to think for myself coupled with freedom of speech.


Remember; Nothing can stop any person with the right mental attitude from achieving their goal; and
nothing  on earth can help the person with the wrong mental attitude.

VEST.... Back soon.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

History ... On this day July !5 St Swithins Day.Yes it is Raining.

RIP Sister Ruth born this day 1928. One of many Cancerians within the bounds of my known relatives past and present . Approximately 31% of my known relatives  are Cancerians. including my mother, father, wife, myself,  two sons,  Ist  and 2nd grand children  and many more. However, July the main source of producing pacifist and loving persons, has produced a fair share of horrific happenings during the course of history.

On this Day.

In 1099 A delightful band of European Christian Crusaders capture Jerusalem and put it's Jewish and Muslim population to the sword. They then as good Christians  prayed for forgiveness I'll presume.

1685 . You will love this. ...On the orders of the Christian King James 2 of England, The Duke of Monmouth England, was beheaded eventually by an inexperienced axeman who took eight chops to sever the Dukes head, "Ouch".

1857 British women and children; taken by Indians at Cawnpore India, Are murdered in the second massacre of Cawnpore.

1977; Anti drugs campaigner Donald Mackay is presumed murdered  when he vanishes from his home in Griffith NSW Aus.

That's all, Back soon Vest.

The main culprits who ignore history and fail to learn from historic events and  it's mistakes are our
Dimwitted politicians.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Saturday was lost in pain and aborted.

Thanks to my selfish necessities, Sat the 5th of July the 80th birthday of our present family matriarch and wife to yours truly; 'Rosemary'  did not eventuate as promised and any jollity's intended or hype expected on this great milestone in a persons life simply failed on a miserable note.
   Yesterday on waking my right wrist and forearm were in pain, this pain accelerated in the next couple of hours and I was advised by my Son Chris and Wife Rosemary to visit the 'Emergency Dept at our local hospital 15 minutes ride away. It was 12-10 pm when we arrived at the hospital, I went through the system ; such as physical assessment, blood tests, an ex ray  and a sample of liquid was taken from the joint by a big hypo needle and despite the anaesthetic beforehand the ensuing nauseating pain  during this simple exercise was not what one would wish for too often,.However , the Doctor made my day by returning to his task saying' unfortunately I haven't drawn out enough for the test, so there was another  painful performance. Shortly after at 5-20 pm  the sample was sent by cab to Gosford hospital 45 mins away, and from what was perceived from the conversation heard in the Doc's office it arrived at 7-10pm, according to the lab people at Gosford Hospital when the result arrived back at 8- 40 pm. A prescription was prepared and I was given this with instructions at 8- 50 pm . Chris who I had phoned earlier was waiting  for us in his car when we left at 9-5.
   On our arrival home we did our level best to make the rest of the day  more pleasing for the birthday girl . This morning on waking I took the  pills I was given and on rising had a thumping headache , I am now uncertain what caused  the headache . However , 80% of the pain has disappeared and typing isn't too difficult.
My wife wishes to sincerely thank the persons who sent cards and messages for her 80th Birthday.

Vest ....Back soon. ......Remember "Anything you are good at contributes to happiness."

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Dry and Sunny. But a Cold Wind.

A sort of day one does not feel like venturing far from home. A southerly up from Antarctica is the controlling weather factor, fortunately we have a sheltered veranda facing away.from the wind.

     Yesterday we registered our Henry Ford Falcon which remember had a over heating problem and  the car doctor charged us $400-00 to cool him down, The  insurance cost another $850-00, I also passed my medical and I am able to drive until I reach 89 years of age, This was followed by a visit to ALDI to do some cheapo shopping and a trip to the large shopping centre to buy Rosey some warm slippers And get an expensive haircut for myself, I usually have my hair cut every eight weeks for sixteen bucks by George up the road and come out looking like a leatherneck, but the buxom lady barber at 'Just Cuts ' who charged 24 bucks stated I would have a free haircut every eighth visit, I told her I shall live in hope..

     Today a visit to the Vet for the puddy tats  annual needles revealed the owner of micro chipped Ginger Tom who moved in on our tribe two years ago was a lady who lived close by several years ago and dumped the ginger Mog, 'GT' is the assumed lover of our now sterile 'Minnie Alley cat' and dad to her last kittens. the lady in question has  now given us permission to keep her cat and the vet said that will be $ 140 Dollars please sir

The generosity of your time is the most valuable gift you can give.

Vest.... back soon.     FOR PUDDY TATS. retype and search, http://www.jervisbaycatcottage.com.au/

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Petrol Wowsers at Sydney Bowsers.

Whingeing whining Sydney Suburb dwellers who complain about the price of fuel  have little to gripe about.
Nearly 43 years ago the petrol pumps were selling petrol in Sydney at 48 cents per Imperial Gallon or 4.7 litres equivalent . The first petrol sold in Litres at a pump in Sydney jumped to 12 cents per litre.
Since the advent of the litre at the bowser in the Sydney Suburbs, wages have increased by at least 18 times more than in 1971. Taking this into consideration and allowing fuel prices to to be increased with wage indexation, One would expect the price of fuel at this point in time to be AUS $2-16 per litre.
 So why all the fuss.?. It seems  Ten selected Suburbs around Sydney are griping about the following prices for fuel in their area,  being $149 cents per litre and others At138,129,128,126,125,123,120,119,118, cents per litre.
Most of these moaners have far less distance to travel to their area of employment than some persons travelling to the City from the outer suburbs,. My local Crooked fuel dealer charges $ 1-57 per litre.

It seems most of the happiness in this world consists in possessing what others can't get.

Vest....Back soon.

Friday, 20 June 2014

Today in history, Malaya, June 20, 1953.

Sixty one years ago .Myself  26 and Rosemary 18  A beautiful lady from Portsmouth England, were married in St Christopher Church in Johore Bahru, Johore, Malaya.
Rosemary is still loving and obeying and is at the moment fixing my breakfast, " Love You Rosemary"..

All of our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to persue them.

Vest ....Back soon.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

World Elder Abuse Awareness

      Elder abuse is a global social issue which affects the health,welfare and human rights of millions of older people.

Around the world, older people are being subjected to psychological, financial and physical abuse. Unfortunately prejudicial attitudes contribute to the problem. We all need to re-examine our attitudes towards 'Aging' and the status and role of older persons. Governments can help by enacting legislation to protect the abused and prosecute the abusers. We owe it to older persons and societies around the world to fight ageism in all its forms and enhance the dignity and human rights of older persons everywhere.
     Bullying and maltreatment of older persons can lead to serious physical injuries and long term psychological consequences and it is now considered one of the most serious and important human rights issues.
      In Australia to report elder abuse phone 1800 052 222 or telephone your local Police Station.. Or if it is a life threatening situation call 000.

      And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years..

            Vest.... Back soon.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Age hath wearied them and Wars condemmed.Plus Marbles intact.

The Number three son of Rosemary and myself , David,  is the genealogy expert within our family of five sons, eight Grandchildren and four G/Grand children. David recently came up with the information that over the past several centuries our lineage has produced several persons of notability besides myself of course Hmm,  some of whom were an Admiral a General several Diplomats a  Crooked Judge Advocate  and several scallywags of notoriety also Knights of the realm.
     However few of these forebears have reached beyond the three score years and ten M E O Life  within the tribe as previously stated going back more than a fair bit.and it would appear that yours truly recently passed the highest Expectation Of  Life recorded within our lineage,
Yours truly having survived several conflicts over the years whereas many of my forebears have suffered the fate of  having their lives terminated  during a multitude of British wars from the wars of the Roses, Civil wars then the American, French Dutch, Crimean ,Boer, Zulu, Ist and 2nd WW and Korean and more.
     On July 16 I shall be 88 years of age but am still feeling as if I am  forty five but our 61st Wedding anniversary coming up this Friday reminds me 'I ain't what I usedter be'. Although I have missed out on several so called manly things that life has to offer  like wearing a ring or ear rings, growing a beard, being sexually mutilated, or having used a brothel,smoked pot or taken drugs plus mutilated by tattoos, the vice of smoking baccy  I gave up thirty years ago and my drinking of liquor is  now very limited to being pressured to do so socially which is not too often . Yes I do get up in the night to point Percy; its an age thing like I do get a few painful twinges which come with age, But fortunately I am able to think clearly- no less than in previous years.
Other News. The sun is shining the rain has gone , Henry F Falcon has to have a new radiator and tomorrow I shall have my medical assessment to see if they will let me drive poor old Henry.Rego KGVOOO, the garage guy asks "whats with the strange rego plate" I replied "Its a long story starting Oct 1940". he replied "write it down and I'll read it later"..

The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.

Vest....Back soon.

Monday, 9 June 2014

Daily gaggle Post 1215. Plus the Magna Carta.

This post commemorates the Signing of the 'Magna Carta' Document by King John of England in the year 1215.AD.June 15.
IToday I was  writing the post number when I was  reminded of this particular date while at my boarding school WNTS in Nth Elmham Norfolk England. when asked by Professor A, D, Bates our History Master; the date of this historic occasion. Being a smart ass I replied, "Sir it was on the 15th day of June, at fifteen minutes past twelve" .
Now  Attila Bates as we called him was a grumpy old sod, Got a sniff of Gas in the WW1 trenches, and when  anyone broke wind in the classroom, ,he would yell "Open the windows and open the doors" followed by the boys in the classroom who chanted " Down with the roof and up with the floors".. However on the day I replied to his question , I was called to the front of the class and reminded by four strokes of the cane across my butt not to be a smart ass.. My bottom smarted a fair bit afterwards. Again however, A D Bates the master was the butt of many jokes in the classroom as suggested by his name.

Fond Memories of Vest..... back soon. Meanwhile click below.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/63810940/king-john-signing-the-magna-carta-1910?gclid=CP6jh-n8674CFUOSfgod754Aeg

or try this.....
http://nobility.org/2012/06/14/magna-carta/

Sunday, 8 June 2014

The Queens Birthday.? .Different Thinking.

      The  Queen of England and some of the Commonwealth will be 88 years and  41 days of age tomorrow. as per 21-4-26.  Q E 2 was eleven weeks and one day of age  when I was born on a Friday which coincided with the start of the Muslim year 1304 or 622 years later in the Christian calendar, The year 622 was when  Mohammad took flight from Mecca to Medina, pity he wasn't on M 307. I hope I haven't lost you. it does become confusing to the lesser thinkers, the first rpt, first atom bomb and the launch time of the Apollo 11 Brit S/T 2100 also coincides. my hatching date, but  later. 19 and 43 years later.

Since this Royal birthday fiasco began  in the 18th century, only QE2/s grand daddy King George V born June 3 1865 on a Saturday became the closest to this imaginary date of the first Monday in June for celebrating the Monarchs birthday.
      However there seems to be no ending to the number of occasions that this peculiar ritual takes place, maybe it was conceived with the belief that presento's for the monarch from wealthy name droppers would give  a rise to the number of shekels in the Royal piggy bank

What do you reckon?     Also interesting go to, Queen's Official Birthday   Google.

 Vest..... back soon..

Thursday, 5 June 2014

History On This Day.

      It Seems June  5 has had it's share of happenings probably as much as any other time of the year in our history.However, we start off with a memory of my own when on the Tuesday June 5 1945 the ship I was serving on during WW2 The HMS King George V, a 40,000 ton British Battleship, the flagship of the huge British Pacific fleet ( The Forgotten Fleet) arrives in Sydney from Operation Iceberg via a stop in Guam,  Where it had been presented with an Ice cream Machine From the USS Missouri and a run ashore for the crew with three cans of free beer thrown in by the yanks, the ship returned two weeks later to receive another welcome from the sons of Nippon flying circus and later enter Tokyo at the Japanese surrender.

      Other incidents on this day in history include The death by drowning of Field Marshal Kitchener in 1916 when the ship HMS Hampshire  he was taking passage in was mined off of Scapa Flow in the Orkney's.

      1968. U S Senator Robert (Barb) Kennedy 42 was assassinated in Los Angeles.

     1967.  Israel commences the "Six day War" by a pre dawn Air strike attacking the airfields of neighbouring Arab countries. Thus giving Israel the upper hand  by capturing several hundred Egyptian Tanks which were abandoned by the Fleeing Egyptians.

      2004. President Ronald Reagan Famous for Reaganomics and his stint as a 'Horse Opera' movie performer, bites the dust at 93.

      There may have been many more notable happenings on this day in history ,. "How many can you remember"?

      Remember.... Any day spent above ground is a good one.

      Vest ....back soon

  .    PS.... Forgot to mention '  1963.  Randy Mandy Rice Davis and Christine Keeler who were  mainly those involved in  dodgy boudoir activity with the then war minister Brit MP John Profumo faced an enquiry which soon after saw the dismissal of the war minister..

Friday, 23 May 2014

Visit to my Doctor or how to become subjected to Age redicule

       I am writing this simply because My doctor reads my blog occasionally or so he tells me.
Previous to the day of  my appointment last Friday at 1140AM I had been feeling an occasional pain below my upper left rib  for several days,. However, the morning of my appointment I was feeling great no worries - so instead of a three minute walk to the Doctor we took the car thinking we would go  shopping after seeing the Doc but a delivery truck was parked across our drive so we were eventually five Min's late for our appointment. (on arrival normally one waits about a half hour or more to actually see the Doc)
I gave the receptionist my card who told me I was to keep my appointment at the correct time and mumbled something I couldn't hear "Are you deaf "She asked," " only when you whisper" I replied, Inwardly I was becoming miffed with this young lady and her attitude, She then asked several Questions in a louder voice which I considered would be invasive to my privacy should it get to the ears of an audience of a dozen or more people in the waiting room , so I whispered the required info  to her. she then actually yelled "Number four" , another person standing close by  Say's she means number 4 surgury  door. The doc I saw was a locum and I was seriously tiddled off trying to be nice to this Sikh Doc not a sick doc but a pleasant geezer in a Turban who it seemed was confused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me. He stated I should see my Heart Doc should the problem arise again. I was also told my usual?? doc Ajay S.... was in room 3 attending to another person. On leaving I whispered to the receptionist and audible to others "GET WELL SOON. and blew her a kiss.

Vest....87 and with  most marbles.
 Have a great weekend.

Thursday, 22 May 2014

The Budget.

"The Budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled,
public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be
tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be
curtailed, lest Rome will become bankrupt. People must again learn to work
instead of living on public assistance.
" - Cicero , 55 BC


So, evidently we've learned little over the past 2,069 years.