Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies. John Leonard Spencer
Recommended Reading

Thursday, 10 April 2014

The Vicars False Teeth.

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first
Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following
Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.





The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and
They asked him what happened.





The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
Talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
To talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
Wife's' teeth in by mistake and for some reason he couldn't shut up...










So much for garrulity, in the next few days there will be a forced silenced from me
this will be due to my PC having a overhaul, hope to be back soon. ...Vest.



 
The Deaf/Mute Italian Bookkeeper:

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 Million.
His bookkeeper is a deaf/mute. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that
Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer,
Who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says
He doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the
Shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."


Don't you just love Honest lawyers?

Monday, 7 April 2014

Allen's Fertilized Eggs








Allen was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Allen's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Allen's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Allen was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the
Jackson County Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Always vote carefully; you can't always hear the bells.




z

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Today in History 1945. April 1 Easter Sunday, All Fools Day.

April 1, All Fools day, Easter Sunday 1945. Operation Iceberg
We were promised that the time darkness fell that day we would have enough excitement to fill our minds for years to come. 
At the time I was serving on the Battleship HMS King George V.  as a seasoned sailor of two years and aged only 18 & 9 months, one of many children serving  as cannon fodder in the British Royal Navy during WW2.
The previous day Action was aborted; this was due to the tail end of a typhoon preventing the need for air cover from the Five fleet A/C Carriers, of the British Pacific Fleet, in the expectancy that an attack on the Japanese airfields At Miako Shima and Ishigaki by the Brits drawing off enemy air power from the Americans about to invade Okinawa the following morning would lessen the problems for the invading Americans. Well whether it did or not, the mayhem created the following day was not at all good for the faint hearted, and a taster for eight more weeks of similar activity to come.
Vest's action station was on the Air defence Platform, fairly frightening up there - brown trouser stuff, nowhere to duck.
Go to Wiki for 'Operation Iceberg' The Yanks give us Brits a Small mention, nothing unusual about that. Oh BTW  I survived many other silly conflicts the Brits became involved in.

Watts Naval Training School (Barnardos Homes)Nth Elmham Norfolk U/K  received a **25 pound sterling finders fee for each young boy delivered to the armed services , ages ranged from 15 years- mostly to The Royal Navy, this happened over several decades involving possibly thousands of  these youngsters , finally Watts closed in 1949 ending this tragedy. ** Ten week's average lowest income in the 1940's


My youngest Son posed this question in 1986 when visiting what remained of the mosly demolished WNTS School. "Why are all the boys in the cemetery mostly under twelve years of age", I replied , Son; "Only the toughest of us were meant to survive".
Vest.... Back soon.

BTW,Your shoelace is undone. .....AF.

Friday, 28 March 2014

This is Sensational....Read add on Sunday March 30.

Nine year old singing opera!

www.youtube.com/embed/ZWpLfncliwU?rel=0

Immune to music or off Key?

It is said that music is a universal language, but some people just don't derive pleasure from listening to a tune. However, that doesn't mean they are tone deaf or philistines, they are Biologically desensitised to the emotional effects of music.
A study published in the journal Current Biology, looked at the neural basis of music and how notes translate into emotions. It found that 5% of test participants had musical anhedonia - an  inability to experience pleasure from music, these people were otherwise healthy and happy, but simply do not enjoy music and showed no automatic responses to its sound, despite normal musical perception capacities.
 

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Post 1194, Nine years of blogging from 23/3/05.Hardly a historical event

Hardly a historical event but much longer than most, however, it has kept my brain ticking over and my marbles lubricated, I feel my brain is as fertile as a 20 year old.

During my visit to the Gosford Hospital for a probe into my waterworks on Friday  my age was  questioned on at least three occasions and the Doc stated he wished to see me again in one year, "Any guarantee's I asked'  he replied , "I would bet on it". But the soreness of the event isn't helped by this seat I am sitting on. lots of stuff to catch up with. Will be back soon.
Vest.

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Glued Meat, A Revelation.

Make sure you buy whole chickens, whole thighs of chickens with bone, whole legs/fore quarters of pork and whole rumps of beef. Perhaps this is the reason for the frequent specials on boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Buy chicken breasts only with bone and skin attached..
Now along with not eating seafood from Asia or other countries... we have to watch for GLUED meat!
This video is shocking & everyone should be aware of what they are doing and what you might be buying!!!
This white powder sold by the kilo, is the meat industry's dirty little secret. It's called meat glue. It makes pieces of beef, lamb, chicken or fish that would normally be thrown out, stick together so closely that they look like a solid piece of meat.


Click here:
Glued Meat


Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Today in History March 6 1957.

HMS Ceylon and crew carrying the flag officer Admiral Varyl Begg the representative
of the Queen , gave away the West African colony the Gold Coast and a couple of other
adjacent territories, which formed the new country of Ghana , under the political
leadership of Kwame Nkrumah.
Vest at the time came within spitting distance of this great leader.
Much jollity and shouts of "Freedom"filled the air.
It rained that evening; My white uniform was a total mess after the boozy celebrations with
ex pats from the the United Africa Co whose hostel I stayed at overnight.
Woke at six am on hearing a crash of a bicycle coming down the stairs, a still tipsy Reg
Harris a well known cyclist selling Raleigh bikes to the locals, had to be replaced by
a similar looking person ,
The house boy as he was called told me my washed uniform was not dry and there was
little hope of me wearing it to get back to the ship..
I rang the ship on a crackling ship to shore phone and was told to get back by the
following morning.
My original explanation was misinterpreted, and by the time it reached the Captains
ears it had been passed around a fair bit.
"He is drunk and naked in a police cell and has lost his uniform." Some yarns are hard
to live down but are great memories. Most of mine are historical.

From my memoirs.... Vest..... Back soon.Today in history

Saturday, 1 March 2014

First day of Autumn Southern Hemisphere. ( Fall USA).

Woke early this overcast morning; trotted off to point Percy due to the cooler weather, on my return I gazed from our boudoir window  at the arrival of another downpour. "Weather god you can cease now we have had enough rain please take it out to the black stump they are parched little Aussies.".
According to the newspaper weather guru's the greatest rainfall in NSW was 66mm in Newcastle which is 60 kay's north up the coast and 40 Kay's down the coast is Gosford which. had 39mm,
The containers placed around the back garden here in Budgewoi stuck in the middle of this rainfall all clocked up between 86 to 89 mm.
As I crunch on my morning muesli I watch the water about ten feet wide gushing along the side of the road, not unlike Chalgrove brook   near Oxford on a Sunday Morning , reminding me of the time when that little village had a working Mill powered by the back brook, but on a Sunday water was released by a floodgate near Franklin's farm and that water increased the flow of the front brook which ran through the village and prevented children from tiddler fishing and other childlike water activities.during Sunday in any case one wore their Sunday best clothes to church or that other place of worship up chapel lane opposite the school run by miss Dobson and miss Quarrigton  with about forty children  aged 5-11. I recall the floods there in the thirties, fortunately not where I lived with my brother ( Christopher 25-12-24 to 3-1-2004.)  and foster mother Mrs P, At number  1 Monument Road although the fairly new house built in 1928 was comfortable there was no plumbing or power. A placard on the front of the house read "Chalgrove Field" and apart from my time in residence in Chalgrove the only important historical happening was in  1643 on Thursday 18th of June When the battle of Chalgrove Field took place, When the parliamentary forces under the command of Oliver Cromwell's elder cousin Colonel John Hampden was defeated by the forces of Prince Rupert a Royalist German mercenary (Wikki provides a good account of this)
However, recent trips to the U/K have revealed the brooks are in permanent Sunday Mode the mill is dry and a palatial residence,  the village has a larger school  more housing a larger graveyard and no one I remember living there. Yes it has power and plumbing too.

Memories on a wet morning....Back soon ...... Vest.

Thursday, 27 February 2014

Obtaining a Chinese Drivers Licence.

From the Daily Gaggle Special correspondent In Beijing, A,Carr.

BEIJING: If some one's intestines are protruding from an open abdominal wound, should you:
A. Put them back in place; B. Do nothing; or, C. Cover
them with some kind of container and fasten it around the body?

The above is not from a first-year medical school exam, but is one of the 100 questions that
locals and foreigners alike could find on China's written driver's license exam. (The answer,
by the way, is C.)

Test candidates are given a booklet of 800 test questions, 100 of which appear on the actual
exam. While the questions dealing with traffic signs are universally understood, others have singularly Chinese characteristics.

Sometimes two of the three answers could be equally right, or the answer that is considered
right is obviously false.

Take the following example. "What should a driver do when he needs to spit while driving?
A. Spit through the window. B. Spit into a piece of waste paper, then put it into a garbage
can. C. Spit on the floor of the vehicle."

Answer? B.

On one recent morning, a group of Americans, Russians, South Koreans and French
nationals
waited for the test at the Beijing Traffic Management Bureau, in a room reserved for
foreigners behind the toilets.

A series of gory images flashed across a flat-screen television: a badly injured person lying
in a car's back seat, covered in blood; a dazed driver sitting on the ground after an accident;
mourning relatives in tears.

Nikita, a Russian who works for an aviation company in the Chinese capital, was the most
confident person in the group, after spending four days revising the multiple-choice
questionnaire.

The 20 or so examinees took their seats, each facing a computer screen. The test began.

They had to write their ID numbers, pick a language, and click their way through the
computerised test: A, B, or C. True or False. Yes or No.

All 100 questions had be completed in 45 minutes, with a candidate needing 90 or more
correct to pass. Results were given immediately.

A group of US embassy staffers left the room, mostly in a jubilant mood -- all had passed
except for one man, who only got 82 percent correct.

"We spent the entire weekend cramming," one of them said.

A woman tried to console the candidate who had failed. "It would've been an even bigger
pity if you had scored 89," she said.

Nikita, for his part, was utterly devastated. Despite all of his hard work, he only answered
45 questions correctly.

"I couldn't understand a word of the Russian used on the test," he said.

Once the written test is over, foreigners who have a driver's license in their home country
are not required to take a practical test, unlike the Chinese.

But they do have to have their eyesight checked, and this seemingly simple exercise also holds
its fair share of surprises.

At a nearby hospital, a nurse asked the latest candidates to read letters from a lighted panel,
covering the left and the right eye in turn.

But they have to read the panel in a mirror. And the letters listed do not exist in any known
alphabet.
A backwards E? One that is upside down? How do you pronounce that?

Somehow, the candidates passed the sight test, and most left the traffic management office a
short time later with licenses in hand.

But reality will soon set in.

At the entrance to the parking lot were two cars crumpled like accordions, and on the streets
of Beijing, no one seems to pay attention to the rules of the road.

Drivers routinely overtake on the right, taxis breeze through red lights, cyclists ride against
the
traffic and pedestrians jaywalk.

Last year alone, 73,500 people were killed and 304,000 injured in traffic accidents in China.

Welcome to China's roads, among the most dangerous in the world.

----

Vest recalls his Written driving examination in Hong Kong (Fragrant Harbour)Aug 62.
Maximum time allowed 1 Hour. Out of approx 200 participants in the hall,. I was then
told to wait for the pep talk when the hour was up; when I was first to put my questionnaire
in the box. Our new Ist Lieutenant who had arrived In Honkers on the same plane as myself
who remarked "Clever dick' was third. Later he told me it would have been dreadful if he had
failed, particularly you having knowledge of it.

Excerpt from memoirs:
While in Hong Kong, Rosemary would buy ice cream from the vendor
across the road. One day she was attempting to get back over the zebra
crossing but the traffic wouldn't stop. The ice cream was melting fast, so
Mary ran across. A taxi stopped suddenly and there was a huge pile-up.
The road was blocked for quite some time with several banged-up cars.
Many fingers pointed up to where we lived.
Our first car was a four square Jowett Javelin, but we later opted for a
Blue Ford Prefect XX511, which gave us two years of comfort and
enjoyment.
One beautiful sunny day, we caught the car ferry over to Kowloon
and drove to Castle Peak Bay, where I parked under a tree, the shadiest
spot available. As we were leaving, I was presented with a parking ticket.
It wasn’t a huge amount. The following week when we arrived again, I
found the Governor Generals car parked in the exact same spot. I
approached the Chinese policeman who spoke English, and asked why
this car didn't have a ticket.
He replied, “Very important man.”
I said, “So am I.”
“Your car not look as important as this car,” he said. So I took a
picture of said oriental genius with the Governor Generals ‘Very
Important’ car and sent it to the Hong Kong traffic people, along with a
note indicating that my money would be forthcoming when they had
provided proof that the Governor General had paid his fine. I never
heard from them.
Our XX511 Ford Prefect had never been in an accident in eighteen
months. After we sold it, however, it failed to stop after leaving from
high in the Peak and travelling fast down Garden road. It then pranged a
large green tram that was coming from Wan Chai, and was subsequently
written off.
3 August 1964 That sad incident occurred two days before our family flew
back to England. On hearing the news Rosemary said “"What a shame; I really
loved that car"”. I replied. “"Darling it must have loved us too, it just could
not live without us". By the way, the driver survived.
My recent eye test, left my Chinese Doctor confused. I was asked to
cover my right eye and read the bottom line of the poster on the wall.
I replied, "Made in China".

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Children in need of parents who care.

 
 

It is not only the Authorities who have to provide answers but parents themselves who blatantly ignore the real needs of children. Grand parents should not be the solution when bringing up children, Grannies have done their job and need to relax take it easy before they pop off to eternity.
So why are many modern parents ignoring their responsibilities and neglecting their children like never before.
It is simply because of the Us and Me syndrome society where many children are not considered a prime factor within the family and are ignored. A bit of keeping up with the Jones's goes back ages but its now like keeping up with the Forsythe-Silvertail-Smythes.
A comfortable house - home indeed yes but a huge mansion to accommodate more than is required in preference to the finance being spent on parental guidance and education and affection, no.
Thirty something couples have been dragged into the status cult where bigger and better looking houses have become the new magnet for visual self respect, what happens within these homes of absent couples working their butts off in order to maintain their facade of opulence; is in total contrast to the view from the street. Infighting, bickering and wondering how they can afford to send John and Jane to that private school where Dr Dick Cashedup next door sends his brats.
But that recent interest hike has hit them hard, so poor old Grandma's called out of retirement to get the children ready for school and provide boxed lunches now that school lunches are financially outed.
It is time Children were put first. We all have to work during our lifetime, however, we must live within our means.

Vest ....back soon.

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Splitting the human race.


Splitting The Human Race. Your choice the Ruling Class. Or an Ugly Morlock?

THE human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures. It has already begun

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. The human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000. After they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress. These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

"Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," suggesting that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, That will make a few of you want to live longer.

Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts.

Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding -( this is not the type of inter breeding among relatives in Tasmania known to produce offspring with twin heads)- produces a single coffee-coloured skin tone. Some people I know have achieved this already.

The future for our descendants isn't all long life, perfect bodies and chiselled features.

While humans will reach their peak in 1000 years' time, 10,000 years later our reliance on technology will have begun to dramatically change our appearance.

Medicine will weaken our immune system and we will begin to appear more child-like.

The future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.
While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is the possibility of a monumental genetic hangover over the subsequent millennia due to an over-reliance on technology reducing our natural capacity to resist disease, or our evolved ability to get along with each other. After that, things could get ugly, with the possible emergence of genetic 'haves' and 'have-nots'. And the workforce a major race of ugly mishapen hunch backed Gnomes

This theory may strike a chord with readers who have read H G Wells' classic novel The Time Machine, in particular his descriptions of the Eloi and the Morlock races.

In the 1895 book, the human race has evolved into two distinct species, the highly intelligent and wealthy Eloi and the frightening, animalistic Morlock who are destined to work underground to keep the Eloi happy. I reckon Wally would make a great morlock.
Vest... El supremo Eloi Feb 2114.

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

A law Unto Themselves, Is this Sharia law?

06:48
11 months ago | 490,361 views | by ISLAM Truth+Justices
The man in this video, seen torturing an Afghani businessman, is none other than Sheikh Issa bin Zayed al Nahyan of the .*(..A UAE Royal Family Member,Sheikh Issa, Tortures a Afghani businessman ) Google search item in brackets.*
 
Uncertain of the age of this video... Vest 

Monday, 17 February 2014

Unfortunately Australia is heading this way.

Unfortunately Australia is heading the same way.


Just watch this short video This is reality, whether you like it or not!

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Food scraps(Leftovers) to be banned from household garbage collections.

 

Food scraps (Leftovers) to be banned from House hold Garbage collections.

Most councils within NSW Australia have adequate systems for waste removal from households and businesses. The main problem is abuse of the system by uncaring persons with an out of sight out of mind mentality.
Ban on bin food scraps,. Food could be banned from household rubbish bins or residents might be charged extra to remove it under proposals to deal with the state's growing mountains of garbage.
For those people who are not already dealing with this problem and wish to deal with the matter of disposing the putrescibles themselves, these few hints may solve your problems as well as helping the environment and if you have a garden; help with cost cutting. Of course it is your choice whatever you do.
Items such as bread and cereal based foods can be distributed to bird feeding at the bottom of the garden along with meaty bones for carnivores such as magpies crows, Dog owners would find few problems disposing of most bones, those not removed can be buried in the flower section of your garden. All other food waste such as left overs, peelings, banana skins, fats and more are buried in what I call a Fallow section of the veggie garden, ( An area not intended for planting within a few months, although digging in these areas after six weeks you will discover an absence of the former waste and a much richer soil, this can be a boon for those gardeners with sandy soil.
My veggie patches are about 6ft or 2 metres wide. I dig a trench across at spade depth and each daily deposit can be covered with soil or if the weather is inclement keep your waste in a covered container until you are ready to dispose of it in the soil.
You will save on compost or have a more productive garden by following these simple tips.
Remember. What man disposes of, Nature decomposes for the benefit of all.
BTW. All recyclable items such as cans bottles, glass jars and paper packaging must be free from food contamination and bottles without tops.
And don't forget that greasy Aluminium throw away baking tray you cooked the turkey in, ours will be placed at the bottom of the garden over a hungry ant nest and will be cleaned for recycling within two days.
Remember, 'Do the right thing". Have a great day......Vest.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Filthy Food From CHINA.... Enjoy

Food from China - very important to our health



LAWS FOR FOOD PROCESSED IN CHINA , HONG KONG , VIETNAM AND THAILAND !!


DANGEROUS IMPORTED FOODS

The whole world is scared of China made 'black hearted goods'. Can you differentiate which one is made in the USA , Philippines , Taiwan or China ?

For your Information ... the first 3 digits of the barcode is the country code wherein the product was made.

E.g.: all barcodes that start with 690 up to 695 are all MADE IN CHINA.



471 is Made in Taiwan.

This is our human right to know, but the government and related department never educate the public, therefore we have to RESCUE ourselves.

Nowadays, Chinese businessmen know that consumers do not prefer products 'made in China ', so they don't show from which country it is made.

However, you can refer to the barcode, remember if the first 3 digits are 690 to 695, then it is Made in China .

00 ~ 13 USA & CANADA
30 ~ 37 FRANCE
40 ~ 44 GERMANY
49 ~ JAPAN
50 ~ UK
57 ~ Denmark
64 ~ Finland
76 ~ Switzerland and Lienchtenstein
628 ~ Saudi-Arabia
629 ~ United Arab Emirates
740 ~ 745 - Central America
All 480 Codes are Made in the Philippines

Now read on below for specifics on goods from China to protect yourself, your family, and your friends.

This is sickening but it is an alert to read labels and always buy fresh when you can.

Have a taste for chicken? READ THIS

WATCH WHAT YOU BUY. ESPECIALLY HIGHLINER FISH PRODUCTS; all come from China, even though the box says 'product of Canada', it is from China and 'processed' in Canada, that is, the coating is added and packaged in Canada only!

The fish are raised in pens using chemicals that are banned in Canada as cancer causing but legal in China .

This was exposed on CBC TV's Marketplace.

This one will make you think before buying anything from China .

Well, are you enjoying seeing Chinese food popping up in your supermarket left and right? Have you noticed you can't buy a single package of fish that isn't made in China (or Vietnam )? Do you think your food from China is processed in a sanitary manner, and thus safe to eat? Take a look at this!!

These undercover enclosed pictures speak a thousand words. Avoid buying all processed food packaged in China. Anything goes! We just don't know what else is in those packages.

Unlike in the U.S. CANADA and Australia , China does not have laws regulating food processing.

Basically, do not buy any processed food from China , also Hong Kong , too. MANY Chinese companies are using a Hong Kong address to avoid this type of image reputation.

Early dawn, starts the day by riding around to collect dead chickens.

Asking around for dead chickens.

Total of 5 riders are hired by the boss to ride to farms to buy dead chickens.

A dead chicken cost 1 RMB and would be sold at 9 RMB after processing.

Storage for the dead chickens in the court yard.

Carcasses are thrown everywhere.
And on the floor....

Four employees start de-feathering the dead fowl after soaking in boiling water from a rusty wok.

Enduring the pungent odor, but sometime, it get so terrible that even the most experienced of the workers would puke.

Workers rushing to get the chickens de-feathered.

A discarded bath tub being used to soak the bare skin dead chickens.... The contaminated water would have accelerated the decomposition process.

Wearing slippers walking among the chickens before the colouring processing.

After the colour dye, it's creepy to find that they are quite tenderized.

And now presenting the mouth watering Charcoal Roasted Chicken!

Send to as many people as possible. Do NOT buy food originating in China (or Vietnam or Thailand)!

Take the time to read the labels and look for country of origin!

IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH AND THAT OF YOUR FAMILY, STOP BUYING ANYTHING FROM CHINA

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Ferrari lose to Mc Laren

Liverpool youth JOIN FERRARI

"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the Australian government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters. An ethnic mix of middle East and Asian layabouts and general colourful identities.z
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from surrounding liverpool suburbs were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of Dollars worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the crew's first practice session, not only was the Liverpudlian pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of VB, a bag of weed and some photos of Lara Bangle in the shower.
In Today's Sydney Telegraph 8-2-14.
..Read... Chop shop in St Mary's, NSW, discovered, hundreds of stolen cars recovered.

Friday, 7 February 2014

NSW LOTTERIES COCKUP.

Approximately seven weeks ago I destroyed my Wifes lotto ID Card, for reasons of health and safety, meaning my wife's memory problems. The card was a shared card hers and mine . For security reasons it was decided to have the card registered in my name; Leslie J Bxxxxx; and this was the name entered on the lotto card application form.

The former card had registration to approx Jul 14 when discarded.

Today The 7th Feb 14, I received a letter from NSW Lotteries addressed to R Bxxxxx. which included a new card No 01 590 086 77e. This was not the card I expected to receive, It should have read L J Boxxxxxor at least L Bxxxxx NOT rpt NOT R Bxxxxx, or was my instruction too difficult to comprehend . This simply means I have to escort my wife to collect our winnings or visits to lotto offices, therefore wasting time, which is sparse enough even now

Due to this hotch potch It seems that it would be futile for me to expect a correction, in simple terms too difficult to reverse such a miniscule mistake, or maybe someone at NSW Lotteries who is responsible for this faux pas believes 'R' is the complete alphabet. Have a thoughtful day. Les Bxxxxx...Born 1926 , not yesterday.
I - we are still waiting to collect our $ 975-80. winnings.


This can be seen or read on my blog www.dailygaggle.com soon.

Monday, 3 February 2014

Smoke up my nose. plus.Kiss a non smoker.....

Our pleasant beachside semi rural Central Coast NSW Aus town, where I live has every amenity one needs except a person with the authority to  'On the spot fine' litterbugs - people who drop their stinking Cigarette butts  around the walkways despite having depositories for rubbish available.
    Around Christmas 1986 at the age of 60  I was ill with an unspecified stomach complaint, At the time I was smoking about 20 Cigs per day and had been since the age of 22. I was told by a doctor that I had three months to live if  I didn't stop smoking.However, due to the affliction being suffered I had already ceased smoking, but the docs warning whether genuine or not took hold and I went (Cold turkey) and haven't had a smoke since.
   My early years in the Royal Navy (Brit) smoking was allowed on ships and establishments from the age of eighteen, at  training establishments a mandatory six strokes of the rattan cane  was administered to those caught smoking.
   Although I was just nineteen when ww2 hostilities ended , I had spent 2.5 years Aboard  ship which had duty free cigarettes available, My action station on the Air defence position  high up on the ship gave me access to all the smoke I needed (Two smoke belching funnels )(Stacks USA) There was no escape when in a stern sea and the wind abaft the beam as was the term.
    At the age of 22  amidst a marital calamity  I took to the demon smokes , I cannot think of any other reason unless I was mentally unbalanced at the time, however the expense was minimal and a sort of escape smoking gave me from the workplace.could be another reason.
    Four of my five sons smoke and I fear that an early demise could be their only option should they continue to totally ignore the the health authorities explicit warnings.
This post was brought to mind due to a recent experience when  I sat on a community bench by the footpath last tuesday when nearest and dearest went into the Coles Supermarket to buy 25 smokes for our eldest son 59,  a packet covered in horrendous warnings. While waiting I cast my eyes around, there were ciggy butts everywhere, then this old guy with a bloody dog which wouldn't stop scratching sat on the bench next to me;lit up a smoke and belched his 2nd hand excretion into my face, then having expressed my disgust at this old guy ( unrepeatable here) and his dog  threatening to take a chunk out of my leg, I waited near the car until the wife returned with smokes 25 costing $29-70. Sheer stupidity, Although we love our sons to bits: we don't wish to see them depart this life before we go.......Vest ... back soon.
www.dailygaggle.com Kiss a non smoker and taste the difference, a re run  but interesting
Things that Smoke , Bushfires, old Cars, old sailors,  silly people,chimneys and dragons. 

Ad nauseam:

A smokers last Spoke
was I die cos I smoked.
The choke in me froat,
Gave me tummy great  bloat.
Causing  pain and distress
and my life in a mess.
No chance for salvation,
or of admonition................Nic O'Tine. AKA Vest.
Blogger
 
 

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Saturday, 25 January 2014

The Bacon Tree.



The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and await death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Ees, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon,
double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, wees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? Wees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...
ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters,
Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath....

"Pepe... Go back, man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees....



Ees.....


Ees....

Ees....
Ees...

Ees....


Ees..... a ham bush...."


SORRY. I know there's something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it! Little voices made me do it !!!

And I bet you tried to do the accent too, didn't you - I know you did! You are grinning.....aren't you!



Tuesday, 21 January 2014

The cooler weather is comforting

Not a bad summer up to now , a few hot days but we were able to deal with any excesses in temp with the air con, today quite pleasant 20c in doors and a westerly (cool) about 30 knots out side with rain at times, The grass (weeds)  is or are saying  thank you to the gods for their survival. Plus of course the seeds which I planted recently which were generously donated by a now disgruntled Rello who took exception to a remark he didn't hear but supposedly was said to his over weight  serial dissident partner, oh well,  that will keep the dung flying a little longer, I am unconcerned and am not at a loss by his excommunication of my blog from his website, but I'll bet he will take a squizz now and then, hard to remove old habits and curiosity.
My wife and I live on the central Coast of NSW Australia, ours is a semi rural seaside situation about two minutes walk from the water, rello's taking exception to me not wishing to trundle down to the hot sun and sand when they visit fail to get the message we are on permanent holiday here and such pleasantries are for visitors to the holiday amenities. our  domestic life is not totally in holiday mode, particularly now we are at an age to appreciate other forms of diversion. one remark I passed was, " while you are on the beach count the number of bikini clad 79 year olds and 87 year old guys in speedo's...
Last week  I trotted down to the local shops mainly to put on the Lotto, the wife forgetful again. Shoddily dressed; unshaven and straight from working in the garden The Guitar plonking hippy Say's something uncomplimentary when I flip him a ten cent coin, the old crone flogging something for Aus ex service blokes ( We are well Acquainted ) Says get a shave you pommy draft dodger, her breath smelling of garlic and booze makes one wonder if she is using public contributions to feed her drinking  habit.
We live in a pleasant Avenue, and we boast the second largest house and well kept I am pleased to say great neighbour's all except no 13 who drives across our lawn has shopping carts as decor among his grass and weeds and a unregistered wrecked car adorning his frontage  since last  June . I must phone the council to get it moved as they repeatedly ignore my emails.
I shall not mention a lot about the recent cricket hostilities between England and Australia, one teenage person I spoke to thought the Derogatory cliche Pommy meant  people from Poland . " An Ignorance of AUS teenagers" likened to a 'gaggle of geese', and a 'hatefulness of sportswriters'
Anyhow I have a new  title for the Aus cricketers , I shall henceforth refer to them as the FAB'S; You can work that one out for yourself, there are many connotations.. some extremely uncomplimentary

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful , committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

Vest.... Back soon.

Friday, 10 January 2014

Loving Your Tattoo Forever

Why do you need to be tattooed? most intelligent people will wonder or ask the question.It seems it takes less time to decide upon your tattoo than it does to study your dinner menu.
I bet you were not thinking at the time of your new permanent adornment " I Love Sally" on a big rosy heart, that it would be harder to erase  than acquire a divorce blessing from the Pope.
So why did you adorn your pristine body with a temporary obsession which will stay for ever more amen. Not all girls are named Sally your new wife Rose will be confronted with this tat each time you hanky panky in the boudoir
I believe you must be incredibly silly, drunk, bored  or retarded. or easily led.to become tattooed.
Tattoos remind me of the never ending display of graffiti we see in dark alley's and along railway tracks.
Tattoos now appear to be covering the bodies of most sports persons and despite their belief it makes them appear more belligerent, I believe it is the need to be noticed and to send the "I am a tough guy message" like a 21 stone Islander  thugby player completely covered in tatts will tell you it intimidates their opponents.
I also believe there is nothing worse looking than a tattooed female. In day's of yore women who became tipsy lost their cherry; now they get tattooed or both to commemorate the occasion
Would you re-mortgage your home in order to have your tatts removed if possible.,. Is there anyone reading this who has had tatts removed?
Do you believe that Micro willy Clarke and his mate Mitch Johnson - looks like a tattooed Mongolian with that face fuzz, are more attractive to women the way they appear?
I once lived in an environment  for nearly 25 years where tattooing was prevalent, the Brit  Royal Navy. I left with all my hair and teeth and clean bill of health having never grown a beard  and never caught carnal catarrh, although I had  one digit removed two wound scars and two operation scars. and 'No Tattoos'.
Did you become tattooed for a particular reason or do you detest tattoos , give me your reasons why.. Do you have a secret tattoo like a PIN or Phone number. and last of all where is the strangest place you have seen a tattoo?

One is never too old to know better. Have a nice day , be kind to others... Vest..... back soon.

Question.  What Australian Song was Sung by Druids at a fellow Druids Funeral?

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Anzacs and Cricket a poor mix.

Let us give thanks to our favourite mentor.- god or whatever, that, the wretched Cricket Test match series in Australia has finally ended. The sickening stench of hatred stirred up by the  Biased and  retarded sports journo's one sided attitude rarely gave a fair account of what was really happening. although the England team were slightly underdone, the strayans or the bludgerygalahs were at their hateful best, using a double headed coin to win the toss is  bad sportsmanship, however, the nice English gents caught on eventually; but it was too late to notice the Vaseline to shine the ball in a bowlers eyebrows also chewy on the ball to make it swing. The Bludgers best bowler or 'Chucker' of the ball was an Afghanistan resembling Genghis inky arms. it seems that foreign cricketers  mainly Paki's get swift immigration approval called the ' Kepler Wessels fast track Migrant and Citizenship within ten weeks approval Bludge'.
As for the RSL Goon, A Mr Rowe who in  today's Sydney Telegraph commented in a column by Chas Miranda an all things British basher who uses the inane  Aus term Pommy; suggesting Britain was re writing history,  Mr Rowe said in his words ,after a lot of crap about WW1 ANZAC casualty rates, Maybe the Brits are annoyed at the cricket. Vest Say's "Grow up Mr Rowe you biased old rissole."
On behalf of the Anzac's and their generous contribution to the WW1 Conflict, Some unbiased history records reveal that a high percentage of Australian soldiers were migrants from Britain or sons and grandsons of Aus ex Britons who instigated the "Call to arms" to assist Britain during the 1914-1918 Great war.
High casualties resulted when taking a squizz over the trench and not using a trench periscope, also unnecessary  bravado.or lack of caution among Anzac's.
Anyhow much of the ANZAC Hype written today is being quoted by mostly non combatants who have little concept of actual warfare, a bunch of jumped up 'Tourist Guides.
Very few people have given much thought about the boot being on the other foot. Do the Turks really love Aussies and others going to the battle fields of WW1Turkey / I doubt it but the tourist dollar is the almighty reason the Turks allow it ; it is a big annual payday for the Turks. However I cannot  see it happening in Australia, If the Turkish nation had invaded  Sydney Cove and  holed up on Bondi beach for months Killing tens of thousands of Aussies before giving up and retreating back to Constantinople. What then?

Vest RN 7-1-42 until 16-7-66. Atlantic, MED, Ind/ocean, Pacific wars., Palestine, Korea and Suez  56 .
Labels JU 87s, And the divine wind blokes,  Migs. Nautical and bodily mishaps and  world wandering..plus.

Be kind to people, back soon.... Vest.

Spell check gone again.

Monday, 6 January 2014

ITS A FAT - FAT World .(Celle - ce fait mal))

The movie about a mass of flesh called the BLOB - the top ruling fatso is heading towards reality.
It is a fact that the world population is becoming FATTER and Fatter.
The number of Obese and overweight people in the world almost quadrupled to nearly a billion between 1980 and up to 2009  and considering it is now 2014 it must be worse today.
People in developing countries are leading the chase to fatness.
It beggars belief that with all the info available regarding weight loss, so called intelligent people continue to gorge themselves, laziness - inactivity smoking and greediness the main problem, although it can be said that a fat obese parent could be the cause of triggering obesity.
Diet, alcohol smoking and activity mentioned before are controlling my  household,. my weight remains steady although I am a little overweight our two main meals of equal proportion for each of us contains a high content of vegetables but my wife is losing weight despite the extra noggin or two; this can be happening due to the daily walks to the local retailers. Our elderly son has a serious problem with weight. the main cause as I see it is Smoking and a sedentary glued to computer lifestyle, Although I may be wrong; my own opinion is that obesity is created by inactivity or dare I say it , 'Bone Idleness. and too much pork onyerfork'

Maybe I should hide until the furore in our tribe settles down.

" The road from Fatness is the road to Fitness"... Vest.

Churchills Children Versus Adolfs Youth

 

CHAPTER 13 ...Not a heap of difference

My First Career

On 5 January 1942, I went to Shotley Royal Naval Base for a medical
examination, which I passed despite being under the height requirement
of five feet. I was four feet ten and a half inches, six stone six lbs (42.3 kg),
and fifteen years, five months and twenty days old. I was an undersized,
under-aged piece of ‘cannon fodder.’ The school received a twenty-five
pound Sterling bounty payment upon my delivery to the Royal Navy.
My body was sold for approximately 55p or Aus $1-15 a Kilo or 30 cents
US per lb.
After a gruelling train journey to Fleetwood (near Liverpool,) I
embarked in the early morning on the Isle of Man steam packet, ‘Rushen
Castle’. It took four hours to get to Douglas, the capital and main port on
the Isle of Man. I hadn't been at sea for four years.
Looking piteously at the first-timers vomiting on the boisterous Irish
sea, I was reminded of my first experience of seasickness on a
Portsmouth to Isle Of Wight ferry in 1938 the ‘Lorna Doone,’ a coal
burning paddle steamer that smelled of beer, egg sandwiches, and tarred
rope. I believe it was put to good use evacuating soldiers from Dunkirk
(Dunkerque) France in June 1940.
The Bible in my possession said, ‘To John Leonard Spencer on the
Feast of the Epiphany, 7 January 1942.” It was signed by the Rev.
Harling. I often wonder if the Rev. Harling ever made it to heaven.
Some of the other entrants who wore sailor’s gear like mine were from
other navy schools. Some wore civilian clothes. It was Wednesday, 7
January 1942. I was now a boy, 2nd Class RN. The Americans had beaten
me to this war thing by thirty-one days, but I was better prepared than
most for my next encounter with a new type of authority.

But this was 72 years ago, scratching the pile for youthful cannon fodder..

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Thoughts




Thoughts


As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,

I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
.. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,

the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:


1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.


2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.


3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.


4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?


7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.


8. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.


9. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.


10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.


11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.


12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.


14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.


15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . .they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".


19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE?
                                              State Trooper recalls Christmas Eve

Touching!
State Trooper
Recalls Christmas Eve
  
 

                                          Malcolm, U/K.
No virus found in this message.