Can you do better than this or give up trying.

       

 

Once again readers are invited to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some examples

§ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

§ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

§ Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

§ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

§ Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

§ Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

§ Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

§ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, really bad.

§ Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

§ Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

§ Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

§ Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

 

 

Here are the submissions in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

§ Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

§ Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

§ Abdicate v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

§ Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

§ Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

§ Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

§ Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

§ Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

§ Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

§ Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

§ Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

 

Add your submissions to these lists in the comment s section.

My wife who has a memory recall problem, suddenly this morning reminded me of a Lt David Griffith RN who was our neighbour in H/Kong in the mid 60's Who referred to the Tissues called Sneeze Proof Scotties , as Sqeeze Proof Snotties. David.  I haven't heard from  since leaving U/K in 1971. David would be about 78  now..

Vest... back soon.