The Daily Gaggle

The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures. 100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. The human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000. After they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress. These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years. "Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," suggesting that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance. Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, That will make a few of you want to live longer. Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts. Raci...

EXPOSED: 10-year-old UNPAID workers who help clothing giants make billions GAP slave kids CHILDREN as young as TEN are being sold into slavery by poverty-stricken parents — to churn out cheap, embroidered clothes for fashion chain Gap. An investigation uncovered the scandal of sweatshop kids who work for NOTHING in India's capital, New Delhi. After talking to frightened youngsters as they laboured to produce goods in time for the lucrative Christmas season, we can reveal they are: FORCED to work without pay for up to 19 hours a day in the stifling heat. BEATEN with a rubber pipe if they cry or protest. KEPT in stinking, poorly-lit sweatshops running with raw sewage and BRANDED with tattoos which bond them to their greedy bosses. When we confronted horrified Gap chiefs with our findings, they immediately vowed to WITHDRAW tens of thousands of their embroidered children's smock tops produced by sweatshop labour before they even reach the stores. But the news will bring little com...

Muslim prisoners may sue over ham Muslim prisoners are considering suing the authorities for £2 million after they were offered ham sandwiches to eat during the holy month of Ramadan. The inmates at HMP Leeds, a category B local prison, claim that their human rights have been breached as a result. However, the Prison Service, which yesterday confirmed the incident, said it was a mistake which was "corrected immediately". It said Muslim prisoners had been given "inappropriate" menu cards for their packed lunches but denied that any had actually been given ham sandwiches. A spokesman said: "Guidelines state that prisoners must have a diet which meets the requirements of their religion." Islam forbids Muslims to eat ham and pork, and prisoners reportedly said the incident was made worse because it happened during Ramadan, which took place between Sept 13 and Oct 12. Leeds Prison holds more than 1,200 male prisoners, of which more than 200 are Muslim. ...... A...

SURBITON, Surrey, England, A wealthy gent from Pakistan has had the temerity to invade this sanctuary of the stock broker community, by using a proxy to purchase a rather posh residence, Mr Iqbal Mustavafag his wife and brood of nine children are now the neighbours of Colonel Richard E and Mrs Agrippina, Firkinhead, distant relo's of a former right wing MP for Smethwick in Birmingham. Mr (Send the sods back) Enoch Powel. To stir the can or put the cat among the pigeons so to speak the Mustavafags called on the Colonel and the Colonel told them to "Shove off" because he explained he was more superior in the order of things than a Pakistani . When asked why, the Colonel explained , although our houses are identical my gardens are better and I own a brand new Daimler Car also we employ a chauffeur a cook and housekeeper and I have 5 million pounds in the bank. "Thank you for the Info stated the Pakistani I'll be back later"," don't hurry said the Colon...

Teacher lined up pupils by skin colour for photo. A head teacher admitted "an error of judgment" was made after children were made to line up according to their skin colour for a class portrait. Actually it was nothing less than a total cock up. Children burst into tears when they were split into rows according to their race, with white children at the front, and black at the back, leading to complaints from parents. The head teacher of Sandhurst Junior School in Lewisham, south-east London will be writing to every parent to apologise, after dozens complained. And so she bloody well should. The incident last week involved more than 100 children aged seven to 11. Nine-year-old Cameron Amoah said he spoke out when he was segregated from his white classmates and was told to "get to the back" with the other darker-skinned children. "We were told: 'all the white kids come to the front, mixed race in the middle, and dark-skinned at the back.' "One...

ENTER THE PAMIRS: We woke up this morning (last friday) pissed off at our driver for being incompetent and ready to bolt in general. Instead we haggled him down to a pittance for continued travel costs, and decided to spend the day going into the pamirs, the huge mountain range in eastern tajikistan which supplied the USSR with all of its moutains worth boasting about, which still include Peak Lenin and Peak Karl-Marxa. we were bound for a pass at 4000 km where we thought there'd be some good views.a note about pamiri people: they are all ismailis, which is the minority branch of shiism which produced the assassins, built cairo, once stole the black rock from the Ka'aba and presented it to a messianic zoroastrian priest, and were generally the coolest heretics in world history. they were also pretty much wiped out by the Horde in the 1250s when Hulegu reduced Alamut. the survivors fled to remote regions, most notably lebanon, yemen, kashmir, and the pamirs. these people mixe...

21 October 2007 A place to question everything...and everybody. (1) What's the most memorable thing you did when you were a teenager that you didn't tell your parents about? Would you tell them now? (2) Rules you had to follow. What rules did your mother and father have that you thought were crazy when you were growing up? Do you still think they are crazy? (3) A successful relationship Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship? What makes a relationship successful? (4) Swearing on the job. Recent research shows swearing at work boosts workplace morale and strengthen team spirit. Do you agree? How do you feel about swearing? (5) If you could live anywhere other than the country you live in now, where would it be and why? (6) Your Most Prized Possession? What is your most prized possession? Why is it so important to you? (7) Your favourite way to communicate What is your preferred method of communication ? (i.e. email, in person) and why? (8) Which are...

Recently nearest and dearest in her wisdom purchased a new birdcage for my sons birthday present. The old cage which housed 'Lucky' was considered too yukky for what was our pet Cockatiel until our son stole the (Female)birds affection. For six and a half years lucky has been incarcerated within a cage with a surface area of 450 sq ins, but the new cage is only 315 sq ins plus it has less height. I just have that feeling that the bird would have been much happier in its old shack - larger and more familiar than the new pristine white cage with less lateral movement. I feel we humans have little idea when it comes to imagining the plight and stress of the upheaval it places on the bird. Ok so it wasn't a pretty cage, but the bird probably didn't give a hoot and I'll lay odds lucky isn't too happy in his new expensive abode, did I hear her squawk "Squeezy squeezy". Lucky whenever possible is allowed to fly around the interior of the house usua...

Suicidal over clothes shopping SHOPPING for clothing can be depressing for those not happy with their weight, but some women admit the task leaves them feeling suicidal. A survey of Hong Kong women found that four per cent have contemplated suicide because they cannot find clothes to fit. In Australia, the average size hovers around 12 and finding large sizes can be difficult in many shops. The survey comes as Australian Fashion Week organisers announced they will not put a ban on using models that are "too skinny", despite the deaths of two international models in recent months. Almost half of the women questioned in the Hong Kong survey confessed that they were often too big for shop sizes in their country, despite being a medium size. Of these, about seven out of 10 blamed limited sizes in shops, which often used ultra-thin models and displayed only extra-small sizes. The survey conducted by the Eating Disorder Association questioned 600 women aged above 16 in the city of ...

A 72-year-old man will become the genetic father of his own grandchild after agreeing to donate sperm to his daughter-in-law in London to allow her to conceive. The unnamed man became a donor after his son and daughter-in-law could not conceive a child through IVF (in-vitro fertilisation) because his son's sperm was not of high quality. His son will become the father of his genetic half-brother. The sperm is being screened at a London Women's Clinic, which is treating the couple who are in their 30s and who have requested anonymity. The clinic's co-medical director, told the daily he had never seen such a case before, but some people are now willing to consider all kinds of options with progress in fertility treatment. "Obviously the wife's mother-in-law also had to be included in all the conversations but she has no objections," he was quoted as saying. Society has also changed its perceptions of what is and what is not acceptable. In this ...

Not all together plain sailing over the past week or so , with visiting Gr/ Ch, birthdays. and to top it, I have had flu symptoms, also a comma attached it self to my web address which caused confusion for three days. I have not ventured forth to the outside world, and have been off the grog for ten days, which is surprising as we have had the hottest Oct day on record last Thurs and the last two days have been similar. I shall be attending Hail or shine, the funeral of my friend and shipmate Tony Jackson, this coming Tues at 9AM Oct 9. there are now 11 of us left in Australia and about 30 in the UK. My name appears in alphabetical order at the top of the list, h'm, gets you thinking doesn't it. Rosemary also has flu symptoms, that did not stop her having her hair done today. The dog next door who usually eats all of our food scraps has gone 'Walk-about' His owner told me that he had no idea when he would return and suggested I bin it on Tues our garbage day, e...

Zimbabwe's last white farmers face final push Farmer Charles Lock is determined to fight for his land in the courts Ringed by a clutch of Zimbabwean soldiers clicking automatic weapons, Charles Lock handed over the keys to his farm and drove off his land for the last time. Scores of white farmers, the last survivors of President Robert Mugabe's land grab, and thousands of their black workers are going through similar agonies.They now face the final deadline. As from today, any white farmer still on his land will be deemed to be trespassing on state property. All agricultural land was officially nationalised last year — with the seizure to take effect from Oct 1 this year. In advance of this deadline, Zimbabwe's army and the Central Intelligence Organisation, Ave IQ About 6, have been tormenting the last handful of white farmers and their workers. About 50 have been summoned to appear at magistrates' courts. Some have surrendered their farms and homes in despair in the...

The number of Britons reaching the age of 100 will hit a record 9,000 today and is expected to reach 40,000 by 2031 Jeanne Calment died aged 122, the world's oldest person A boom in life expectancy shows the number of centenarians has increased 90-fold since 1911 and many young children are now expected to live to 100 or beyond. People are now reaching old age in much better health and have a far better standard of living than previous generations. The longest life on record is that of a French woman who died in 1997 at 122. Today's figures on population in England and Wales disclosed a picture of a fast ageing population. The rapid increase in the number of very elderly people began in the 1950s and is attributed to improvements in housing, health care, nutrition and sanitation. Life expectancy for British women has risen from only 50 a century ago to 81 now. And by 2080 it will rise to 100. For men, life expectancy is 76. Life expectancy increases at around two years per deca...

"WHAT on earth is BODMAS"? Bod is a little person who first appeared on UK Children's TV many years ago. Is BODMAS something to do with Bod and his mothers (Ma's)? - Not really, though it may be a good way to remember BODMAS. It's actually an Acronym (word for letters used to shorten a collection of words to make them more "snappy", for example - did you know that NUT stands for the National Union of Teachers - which may explain why most teachers are NUTs!) sorry Ag, BODMAS is the secret code which enables us to know exactly the right sequence of doing things mathematically. In particular electronic calculators have to use a rule (known in computing circles as an algorithm) to know which answer to calculate when given a string of numbers to add, subtract, multiply, divide etc. What do you think the answer to 2 + 3 x 5 is? Is it (2 + 3) x 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 ? or 2 + (3 x 5) = 2 + 15 = 17 ? BODMAS can come to the rescue and give us rules to follow so that we a...

THE difference between democracy, which refers to any system where people vote for rulers, and freedom, which is the absence of government coercion and the concomitant liberty to control one's own life and property: Democracy means voting. It does not mean freedom. When we lump the two ideas together, we confuse ourselves and others. Britain was a free country long before it became democratic. In Germany, Hitler was elected democratically. In much of Africa, democracy in practice has meant, "One man, one vote -- one time," as elected leaders put an end to both elections and freedom. It would be wonderful to have free and democratic nations throughout the world, and that would very likely reduce military conflicts, But we do not ensure freedom by holding elections.

TOUKLEY NSW Australia . Starting a business in Toukley would require some smart thinking. Wandering around its CBD you will discover the sad picture of past businesses that have gone bust . This is mainly due to the ever increasing powers of the shopping malls, however, this is not about some magical cure for their setbacks, but the reason the Toukley Chamber Of Commerce decided not to use a Toukley venue such as their RSL or Bowling club for their annual event, thus depriving possibly one of the two major businesses in town of a good earner. Hardly like keeping it in the family when it was decided that my local club, The Halekulani Bowling Club, Which is located several klms away from Toukley was chosen to host the event, or were there some overwhelming fiscal anomalies between the different clubs grog prices, I'll stick my neck out and say this is the case. Traveling around to the five nearest clubs surrounding the Halekulani Bowling Club in Budgewoi, the Bar drinks ...

Men: either very clever or really stupid This could spark a row over the breakfast table, but recent research has found that there are more clever men than women. There are twice as many males as females in the brightest two per cent of the population. Males scored the highest and lowest scores in all the tests The research, however, also points out that there are twice as many males as females in the least intelligent two per cent of the country. The researchers said that they eliminated factors such as education and upbringing by comparing members of the same family. They looked at the intelligence of more than 2,500 brothers and sisters by testing them on science, maths, English and mechanical ability. Males scored the highest and lowest scores in all the tests and also performed better in science and arithmetic. Women occupied the middle ground and were also found to be better at languages, which is not surprising being that their tongues are continually wagging. One theory put...

Preview Seven-year hitch A GERMAN politician has proposed a law making marriage contracts null and void after seven years, with the option to renew for those not feeling the proverbial itch. "I propose that marriages lapse after seven years,'' Gabriele Pauli told reporters in Munich, the capital of the largely Catholic southern state of Bavaria. "This would mean that one will only commit for a fixed period and will actively have to renew your vows if you still want to continue.'' Perhaps unsurprisingly, Ms Pauli, 50, has been divorced twice. "It means that, in future, people would in future enter marriages only on a time-limited basis, and would then actively say 'yes' to an extension," she added. She argued that, since a high proportion of marriages end in divorce and many people stay married only for fear of separation or for financial reasons, "perhaps one can live better outside marriage." Pauli conceded that "the fine poin...

He says Hot women have big ones. They don’t need to be cartoon-like – although that’s fine – but they do need to be large enough to defeat men’s better natures and lure their eyes down. Big, full mouths are hot. Blokes love ‘em. And when a woman has a sexy mouth it smooths over a host of hassles between the genders. Like talking, for instance. Women love to rabbit on, which bores blokes – not to tears, of course, but it does drive them to beers and sport and stuff. Yet, if the woman has a rich, voluptuous talker, then a bloke can smile and nod for hours, mesmerised. Particularly if she has attitude. It doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad, so long as the chick has some edge. Blokes don’t care whether she’s tough as nails or a golden-hearted lass. Actually, a bit of ‘tude is good, especially if she says something cutting then turns on her (high) heel and struts off. That way we get a look at her most curvaceous asset and also get a break from her talking. Bringing up the rear And abo...

A STRIPPER has spoken for the first time about the night she turned Kylie's little sister into Dannii MinOH-OH-OH-gue with some very dirty dancing. We were first to reveal how millions were logging on to watch CCTV scenes of the girl-on-girl romp posted on the internet. Click for sexy pics of stripper Janine Now Janine Marshall has broken her silence about the encounter at the Puss In Boots nightspot in London and told us: "Dannii devoured me during that dance like a ravenous tiger." Janine, 24, revealed how 35-year-old Dannii: BEGGED for the stripper's attention GROPED her breasts and bum. GAWPED as naked Janine put her privates on parade. Dannii, now rating fresh singing talent with Simon Cowell on X Factor, gave Janine's performance a perfect 10. When she arrived at the club in September 2005 with her boyfriend and another couple, the Aussie star immediately singled out the stripper. Janine said: "She picked me for a private dance so I led them to a quiet ...