tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post415750336963215528..comments2024-01-11T21:56:10.122+11:00Comments on The Daily Gaggle: WRIGLEY'S CHEWING GUM + An Australian Love Poem.Vesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15390020901033513032noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-69809103573567777732009-03-11T14:13:00.000+11:002009-03-11T14:13:00.000+11:00I have no time for u and Rm nowno time for A and K...I have no time for u and Rm now<BR/>no time for A and K<BR/><BR/>I found me my own girl<BR/>she is single no kids<BR/>she is 55 if she aint lying<BR/><BR/>hope she aint 85Jimmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14058997155175484280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-36811025902344981342009-03-10T22:35:00.000+11:002009-03-10T22:35:00.000+11:00The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure...The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly. <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>'Been in the business 60 years.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36. <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.' <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-52158046597769277432009-03-10T15:43:00.000+11:002009-03-10T15:43:00.000+11:00Ha, loved the gum story. I hate Yankees chewing g...Ha, loved the gum story. I hate Yankees chewing gum. I'd turn that poem around and make it about middle-aged males ... with pot beer guts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-31691547445798594622009-03-10T13:38:00.000+11:002009-03-10T13:38:00.000+11:00Hi Vest. I would suggest that fewer than five perc...Hi Vest. I would suggest that fewer than five percent of people in English speaking communities use proper philistinic English, it is a language so complicated that is impossible in most sit's not to make a cock up once in a while. <BR/>Goodonyermate. Mike.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-27106810104285742962009-03-10T13:15:00.000+11:002009-03-10T13:15:00.000+11:00I am reminded of a Bible puncher who blogged under...I am reminded of a Bible puncher who blogged under 'Q' going back a bit. 'Q' stated my sentence structure on one post needed attention. I reminded him that most biblical parables and epistles together with the miscellaneous hymn books around the world needed more attention than my blog.Vesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15390020901033513032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-47002444981688330522009-03-10T13:03:00.000+11:002009-03-10T13:03:00.000+11:00ims(Andrew)I am enclosing a copy of a reply that I...ims(Andrew)I am enclosing a copy of a reply that I recieved on the writers blog who rates at a thousand comments per week, the lady in question has ceased blogging for a while.<BR/><BR/> Keshi said... <BR/>Vesty hey plz dun cry. HUGS! :)<BR/><BR/>I love ya u know that! u TC of ur sweet self now. I will drop by ur place whenever I can...to check on ya and ur health. hooroo for now!<BR/><BR/>Keshi.<BR/><BR/>2 March 2009 11:46<BR/><BR/>So it would seem sport that pure English is not always necessary to communicate.<BR/>Any more of your tripe, I shall send my granny around to beat you up.Vesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15390020901033513032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-17063888913358174152009-03-10T12:16:00.000+11:002009-03-10T12:16:00.000+11:00Vest, I have given ims@unwired a serve hope you do...Vest, I have given ims@unwired a serve hope you dont mind..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-41478801093885533632009-03-10T12:11:00.000+11:002009-03-10T12:11:00.000+11:00who., does.? that* wanker think he is, has he noth...who., does.? that* wanker think he is, has he nothing better to do,..,,./?.... ;((((( jeeze i'm getting wersur thanhims..//.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11610993.post-2175101007567875292009-03-10T08:06:00.000+11:002009-03-10T08:06:00.000+11:00Andrew: my right to reply, without further remarks...Andrew: my right to reply, without further remarks, regarding your audacity to infer that my English is imperfect.It is something I am already aware of.<BR/><BR/>The following Email was sent to me by a friend Andrew B.<BR/><BR/>I had to edit your item as there are defects in the English.<BR/><BR/>added the word 'me' between fetch -and- another<BR/> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<BR/><BR/>Who said Australians weren't romantic?.<BR/>When a sentence ends with a question mark, there is no need for a <BR/>(period mark) . to follow<BR/>As the ? already represents that and the . is included in the ? to<BR/>indicate the end of a sentence.<BR/><BR/>It means that when I'm ready, there's somethin there to grab<BR/>It means that when I'm ready, there's somethin' there to grab<BR/>(apostrophe missing that denotes a missing letter)<BR/>Somehow it was correct on the second line<BR/>(Of course I love ya darlin'. You're a bloody top-notch bird.)<BR/><BR/>I think its very sexy that you've got dimples on ya thighs.<BR/>you've (is an abbreviation, (and a bad one at that) - of - you have.<BR/>so placing 'got' after it becomes redundant.<BR/>As it already means 'you have dimples on your thighs'....<BR/>besides, got in fact the word 'get' means to obtain something by toil.<BR/>So it does not belong in the sentence on two counts<BR/><BR/>I swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met,<BR/>Red marked. What is this me nonsense? Written by a 12 year old no doubt.<BR/><BR/>No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear, now shut up while the footy's on and fetch another beer..<BR/>Changed to : No matter what you look like; I'll always love ya' dear,<BR/>Writing just a letter u is a sure sign of illiteracy. (or mental laziness at best)<BR/><BR/>... In the faint hope that the writers English will improve.<BR/>In a bid to stamp out illiteracy.<BR/>It seems that many adults have caught this disease.<BR/><BR/>ims@unwired.com.au<BR/> .................<BR/><BR/>Vest Say's. " Andrew, go and get well and truly stuffed dicko, only an arsehole of your calibre would fail to recognize it was a copied message sent to me by none other than 'Graeme' who is an accountant and a regular contributor to the comments section". <BR/>Andrew, if you are unsure how to use the comments section, ask and I will instruct you".<BR/>Have a thoughtful day, your dear fiend - sorry er - friend ,J L S, aka L J B or Vest.<BR/><BR/>There is only one success - to be able to live your life in your own way and not to give others absurd, maddening claims upon it.Vesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15390020901033513032noreply@blogger.com