Thursday, 29 September 2016

Words on a Wednesday


Words for WEDNESDAY.

     These Words are here to assist you or confuse you in your .
efforts to compose a short story. These words must be used entirely within your own story. This is not an original Idea but evolves from other frequently visited blogs from which I find Interesting. VEST.

BACK PACK.
HUNDRED.
RELATIVES.
HAPPY.
TICK.
PLANT.
                       My story ,
       I have for some time decided I am quite HAPPY staying put in one place. Younger RELATIVES are welcome to the BACK PACK vacations, for I am quite content to PLANT my feet in one place while I prepare for the journey to one HUNDRED years. My wish is; that my heart beat will continue on from it's present TICK. TICK. TICK  as it has done for  the previous 2,838,240,000 or more occasions, hopefully, but  life is what happens when we are making other plans.
       Yes you are correct , I did use a calculator..

Vest .....Back soon.
     

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

SHARK NETS

     According to figures stated in todays Sydney Daily Telegraph there have been twelve shark attacks on surfers in  NSW during the past 12 months.( people should not swim in the sharks dining room.)
New South Wales Premier Politician,  Mike Baird, has been quoted as saying, 'He will not install shark nets on NSW's Killer coast to protect beachgoers' even after another young surfer was mauled by a monster great white shark yesterday, ( Well  if he does not wish to do it, Why not get someone else), I had no idea politicians were moonlighting; don't they get paid enough already  or has someone misquoted the Premier.
      The last time I swam in the ocean was at Cronulla NSW 1945. It was so different then to what it is now but the perils in the ocean were the same. At the time , I was swimming about 100 metres from the beach when a bell was ringing, being a POM (Englishman ) I thought it was the 'Ice Cream  vendor, , I paid little notice until a person yelled "Shark"  with the assistance of an old fashioned loud hailer. Fear and the need for survival gave me the impetus for speed on that occasion which I doubt I would ever again exceed.
      Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

      Vest.... back soon.
 

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

A re run

      Being as Barbies are the topic on Rivers blog, I thought maybe this re-run  from back a fair bit may add a little mirth but please excuse  the dodgy language, .have  fun. Read the previous Post.

      Being as Barbies are the topic on Rivers blog, I thought maybe this re-run  from back a fair bit may add a little mirth but please excuse  the dodgy language, .have  fun.

Cor blimey, What a night !

       Got back to our castle from the club Via my mates house about 2am, much goings on - still a bit of  swearing and people necking in the shrubbery, the bang clang music still blaring due to the neighbours being away places distant, I slept in the gardener's cottage(Shed) til 0800, was wakened by the visiting family of magpies tucking into several piles of vomit amid the cans bottles a broken glass reminiscent of a Barry Dog's Head Barby and general piss up. The local handyman had been summoned to clean up the chaos and had just returned from the local park after depositing the last three drunks from our back garden. Previously invitations had been sent to people with an option to bring a friend and their own grog and for those who were poor a selection of the cheapest plonk was available from the family cellar. Several half cooked steaks on the Barby being attacked by ants were cut up and fed to a couple of large crows, one of whom had flown off earlier with a condom so I was informed by her indoors who was upset about the demise of her fake Ming vase which we used as a brolly stand, then looking out of the front window after squeezing behind the sofa I trod into a discarded pizza portion when I noticed the front flower beds were in a sorry state and a lone car was parked on our frontage, Our handyman then asked me to  check out our pet enclosure where an old swimming pool housed a 2.5 baby Croc named 'Salty', Salty is quite amicable until you enter his territory , last year we found a football in his enclosure which was covered in blood, we are not sure what happened and no one has been reported missing so far , However today near a pool of blood lay a single shoe which we presumed may have belonged to the owner of the solitary vehicle parked out front.
      So it was finally decided to phone the Old Bill. After redialling a Wooden Top answered my call, I told him I want to report a possible murder.
"What do you mean a possible murder is the person deceased or what, and who is the person", "dunno Say's I, Only salty knows the guy in question and he isn't saying anything". "Where are you phoning from says wooden top" I revealed our location and he replied we have two drunk drivers in our cells who say they were at your residence last night" "Be about right" said I.
Ten Minutes later sergeant flatfoot arrived and checked the rego of the vehicle out front with a personalised plate reading SPU TOO. the owner apparently a local SP Bookie...... after DNA Checks it was confirmed it was he the bookie who salty had for a late night snack, now it is left to the bobbies to find out was he pushed or did he jump?.
Back soon, have fun, Vest. Copyright Daily Gaggle.com

Saturday, 17 September 2016

Dear Editor.

        Having read recently several articles within your sporting pages  relating to a downturn in spectator attendances at most sporting venues, I feel there must be some skulduggery going on at the entrance turnstiles and people getting in for free by slipping a few less bucks to the ticket sellers and bypassing the electronic counters.
         Well sir I am not the least surprised, as this sort of activity has been going on for ages; in particular within my family and vastly extended family whose ingenious methods of gaining entry to sporting activities without interference is legendary.
         The gathering of our families at these sporting venues means we can have lunch together and have a chatter and let the young ones let of steam and scream and squawk to their hearts content while sharing sandwiches and meat pies, there are no leftovers our family really enjoy a good feed at most times and rarely anything goes to waste.
         Sir, as long as we have people attending  sporting venues who throw meat pies at  offending sports persons we will be there to enjoy the fun,

Flightfully Yours,  A SEAGULL.

Thursday, 15 September 2016

MEET THE NEETS

THEY ARE YOUNG SELFISH BONE IDLE AND HAPPILY JOBLESS'
                              NEETS.. Not in Education Employment or Training..
      They are an army of young Australians "unwilling to work" spends the day sleeping, watching TV or playing computer games,
      Two young ladies from Mount Druitt renowned for it's high Bludger population are Ashleigh 21,and Amy 17 ( Not to be confused with the silly AMY From Swansea who pesters my blog) but two work shy layabouts who would rather spend their time chilling at 'Maccas or driving their ancient car off road for fun rather than seek employment. Ashleigh told the TELEGRAPH she would never get a job." I don't want to work all of my life and just die"
      There are more than 100,000 of these  types of young persons capable of employment and using the Social services loopholes to eke out a comfortable living which suits their bone idle lifestyle.
      Read the full story in today's Sydney Daily Telegraph. My favourite newspaper delivered daily to my door.
                                       A message for the young and lazy

       I am old and retired, I employ a gardener,  to cut the grass and a cleaner to do all of the house once  every two weeks, But I do all the shopping , Planning, Tidying up the house and Bathrooms preparing and cooking all meals and  all the kitchen chores in between cleaner visits, I also attend to the washing and bathing of my wife- plus dressing her and generally am at her beck and call. I have to spend time talking to her comforting her , which mostly falls on deaf ears. there are times when my Wife is resting I am able to write or read the paper and watch TV in the evenings where in most cases she falls asleep. I get two six hour breaks when my wife goes out for the day Mons & Frids in care which is not cheap.
      I finished my schooling at 15 and was lucky - most  kids then it was 13.   I started my first Job at 15yrs of age and was pensioned by my employer when I was 40, and they have been paying me a pension for FIFTY years, because I was worth it.  I also had  five other forms of employment improving my status each time until ceasing self paid employment at 70.
     Yes , I find time to be lazy, it is very rewarding even if only brief.
Vest ..... Back soon Snore zzzzzzzz..



Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Priests The Main Abusers.

Hardly a day passes without mention of another incident uncovered and probably more which go unreported.
The most formidable of the  Faith Industry Christian following the Roman Catholic Church, is rarely short of a sexual scandal concerning not so much Nuns but the Men of the cloth who wallow in the privilege of secret sexual activity between themselves and young children in their care. These people involved could avoid this ghastly activity. should the archaic Church of Rome  allow priests to marry like other normal males.
The alternative could be castration which would solve the sex problem completely , also retain a healthy bank of treble singers should the choir boy numbers drop.
Poverty, Ignorance and fear of the almighty allow the church to bully their charges into submission. little wonder most of these underprivileged people have few independent thoughts of their own, this is not only in Ireland as will be mentioned but worldwide, Particularly within Hispanic communities.
      160 cases of sex abuse. Church atrocity. In respect to  85 Irish priests. so far eight  convictions have been the result of allegations.
 DUBLIN:  A new series of reports into Irish catholic dioceses have revealed horrific child sex abuse by priests and Roman Catholic Church authorities in dealing with them.
     Some of the cases detailed by the church's own child protection watchdog occurred as recently as Aug 2016  and the Irish republics minister for children warned more abuse could be revealed.
      In Raphoe in the northwest of Ireland, Bishop Boyce said " horrific" acts of child sex abuse were carried out by Catholic priests over the past thirty five years. Some 52 allegations  of abuse by 14 priests were made to police.
"We are truly sorry for the terrible deeds that have been inflicted on so many by  a small minority of priests said Bishop Boyce in a statement. 'What a lot of bollocks, the general public are aware that only a few get caught in the net and most of the big ones get away'.
      A new report added; too much emphasis was placed on the situation of the accused priest and too little on the needs of their complainants.
       The republic of Ireland has been rocked by a number of such landmark reports.
The main problem as I see it is that, every conceivable authority has a built in  Catholic Church impediment which controls the whole of the non thinking Irish Hoi polloi.
And for you micks who may be offended and quote  the shenanigans or going's on  with the likes of Scoutmasters and other non faith aligned pedophiles, I'll agree that too needs attention. However, one thing at a time, and the one in hand at the moment and the most damming  are the masturbaters of the Roman Church.

BTW. No one can make you inferior without your consent..... Vest..... Back soon

Words for Wednesday in Capitals

Words for Wednesday.

The expression (DARKEST HOUR) can be that of a calamity prior to the dawn of a new era in your life after suffering the raw end of the pineapple in a (KANGAROO COURT) (OR)  those persons who (HAVE FUN) at your expense(AND) then eventually getting the better of them

.

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Words for Wednesda

 FRANTIC.
LEMON.
PARASITE.
SPINE.
PUMMEL.
EARLY.       

      The scene was the Persian Gulf in 1928,. A British Royal Navy Frigate  HMS Nonsuch was on patrol intent on subduing every  (PARASITE) in the drug and Gun running trade in the area.
       (EARLY) that morning a Arab Dhow  was sighted and was in full sail trying to avoid capture,
This one was not a (LEMON) like the others recently boarded, there were a few who were honest traders but this one was a dead cert..
     Having caught up with the Dhow. The order "Away Armed Whaler" was given. The crew of the whaler (Boat) armed with pistols and large cudgels which were  used  to (PUMMEL) any opposition into submission.
      In charge of the boat (The Whaler) was Sub Lt, Head-Strong RN, A bumptious  no-all but in truth  foolhardy to say the least.
       As the armed Whaler pulled alongside the Dhow a rope ladder was thrown down the side of the Dhow, Whereupon Sub Lt Head - Strong yelled " Follow me men, up the ladder to honour and glory"
        H S having arrived on the deck of the Dhow was met by a very large Arab with a Scimitar (sword) who promptly chopped off F H's Noddle which fell into the boat with a loud thump, Hooky the coxswain of the boat took one look at this grizzly head and asked "Any more for Honour and glory", .Being it would take some (SPINE) to repeat the folly of  HS, there were no takers so Hooky gave the order" bear off forward we  are returning to the ship.
      On returning to the ship the captain was (FRANTIC) and ordered the immediate sinking of the DHOW.. Later after the smoke from the guns had cleared  little regard was given to the crew of the Dhow,  who were now swimming for their lives in shark infested waters.

VEST ....BACK SOON

Saturday, 3 September 2016

CRICKET LOVELY CRICKET, A Re- Run.

This is a re- run of a five year old post which still has some merit. it also contains some words which may offend
Cricket lovely Cricket has nothing to do with the 1950 song created by the West Indies team when they thrashed England for the first time, Remember the last line of the song? "Those two very good friends of mine Ramadin and Valentine.
In Sonny Ramadin and Alf Valentine's days  cricket was the gentleman's game, sadly it has degenerated due to the fast moving society of today and newcomers to the game bending the multitude of rules & and regs for them to suit their nefarious activities.  Dodgy umpiring was the first to go when the ICC decided  neutral umpires would replace the local  umpires. The sub Continent teams,particularly Pakistan were prone to skulduggery, Example being Javed Miandad only getting out LBW twice In Ten years play within Pakistan but twenty fold elsewhere. Mind you the Australians without the present day technology got away with scores of dodgy Lillee & and Thompson to Marsh caught behinds,  helped by as suggested by English players patriotic Aussie Umpiring.  Cheating if possible is rife among cricketers those who deny it are those who probably engage in it. The most recent  turbulence on the cricket dodgy dealing  scene stood out like a sore thumb on film,and eventually caught  three Pakistani players red handed.  Although the first ODI is scheduled to start at midnight OZ time it is a doubtful starter due the to the previous furore.
However I'll liven up my post with a little bit of jollity.

The list of excuses for losing the game goes on and on. The whingeing and whining, piss taking, uncomplimentary remarks and pseudo friendliness plus all the hate, racial taunts and unequal conditions; especially for the losers all add up to a quagmire of confusion.

Soon to follow, a list of unsavoury remarks, can stirring and general complaints. I have received.
However, I shall liven up the proceedings with a little tale about Billy.

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all of the children what there father did for a living. All the typical answers came out, Such as firemen, policemen, Salesman and carpenter etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
Billy stated that his father was an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all of his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he’ll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him. The teacher took Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
“No” said Billy. ”He plays Cricket for England but I was too embarrassed to say.”

The stirring continues.
Commentators are. psychic: and explain to listeners exactly how a player is thinking and what he is about to do, Then a roar from the crowd as the batsman belts the ball for six and the Comment jocks prediction cock up is lost in the confusion.
Shane the womaniser and former drug cheat was the OZ best bowler, especially when there was a farting great hole in the pitch to toss the ball into..
Shane and Gilly are in love,

Cricket ‘Hero’s, Nah, they aint mate, they don’t put their life on the line, The game is now theatrical, and they are simply well paid icons.
The Oz golliwog, formerly from the UK and the black and white minstrel show, uses his lip salve to polish the shiny side of the ball, if not why does he wear lip cream when the sun aint shining.
Warney’s dress code is frightfully scungy; he rarely looks clean and appears to look like a sack of shite tied around the middle.
Yeah your right, Being a digger I feel ashamed the Aussie test team looked so shabby with their general appearance, unshaven, gum chewing, gob spitting also crutch scratching, nose picking uncontrollable loud mouthing. is why the bastards win so often, they probably wear ribbed rubbers to get more traction in the mud!.
Bing Lee the fast bowling weetbix muncher’s hateful air punching antics, does not set a good example to the younger people in the audience, they will have plenty of time in their lives to become hateful later.
Has anyone seen an Indigenous Australian true blue not in part(Aborigine) Play in a Aussie test team?.
Nah, it’s a white boy’s game played mostly By Micks. There seems to be an abundance of blokes with given names like Paul, Steven, Michael, Gregory, Mark, Kevin, guys with saints names seem to dominate the list, the products from Priv/Catho Schooling and privilege.
Aussie commentators rarely compliment the visiting team, their one eyed chatter regarding decisions by the umpires can be very annoying, taking the piss out of the visitors and referring to it as bad play, while a crappy Oz player is described as having some bad luck.
Billy Bowden  a N Z umpire becomes an honorary Aussie citizen when England plays Australia.
It’s a fact I have been told, that, 75 % of Warne’s wickets. Are nines, tens, and jacks.
Body contact cuddling and kissing on the field of play is rife in Strayer mate, if you are a bum boy its rewarding , seems the more guys you get out the more often you get kissed..
The Daily Telegraph, my favourite news paper, delivered daily to my door is the best source of bigotry when you find the need to dislike the cricketing visitors, Journo’s like Jon Pierik (pronounced Prick) and his colleague Fanny Craddock, These two strayer bludgery galahs are great when it comes to stirring the bilges of the cricket world, the ‘Pom’ word they use in a derogatory manner, is distasteful.. In any case the first geezer J P; seems to have a greasy wop or wog name.
Do you remember Kim Hughes an ex Aussie cricket captain bawling his eyes out when he lost a test match and the then Prime Minister Bob Hawke crying too. Bob then allowed Keppler Wessells a springbok opener to be given instant OZ citizenship to play up and play the game for Ozstrayer.
Ah “Lest We Forget” The nasty episode of Bad loser syndrome which reared its ugly head in Feb 1 1981, Greg Chappell the OZ cricket Capt., was the architect of this dastardly plot aimed at preventing the New Zealand team from having a fair chance of winning the game in question. Greg ordered his sibling Trevor to bowl the last ball under arm, to batsman Brian McKechnie, which resulted in a dodgy win for the ugly Aussies. This created a short break in diplomatic relations between the Prime Ministers Bob Hawke and the Late N Z, Prime Minister Piggy Muldoon.
[Go to Google- type- Underarm cricket ball. View a 23 second video of this shameful episode of Aussie cricket history.
Why do we have to see our short arsed bald bonce wanker of an ex Prime Miniture spouting gushing commentary compliments to the Oz team on the telly. This prick and famous chicken hawk,(Draft Dodger) is paid barrow loads of dosh to run this banana republic.

***Australia’s highest cricket test score against England was what? Yes it was an innings and heap of runs but how many? Google will not provide an answer.

I wonder how many of us Aussies wish to remember the saga of Rodney Hogg and the Pakistanis. This grand display of Aussie sporting behaviour hit a high, when a Pakistani fielder threw down Rodney’s wicket and told the umpire Rodney had not grounded his bat on completion of a run despite being back within the crease but dabbing his bat (gardening) outside of the crease. Rodney looked at the umpire who put his finger up saying “Out” A disgruntled Rodney was heading for the pavilion when Asif Iqbal the Paki Capt say’s “ Return to the crease it was a misunderstanding” A smiling Rodney returns to the crease to be told by the umpire that the Paki captain was not the umpire “You are out “. At that point Rodney’s mouth exploded and he then smashed down the stumps. Did the press give him some stick? A cartoon showing Rodney as a young dishevelled street Cricketer saying, “Stick yer ball I’m taking me bat ome”
And Dennis Lilley was not averse to using his bat as weapon, on the opposing team,
Lilley-Marsh Catches, real dodgy they were.

***Well the answer is, it ain’t as big as the England score against Australia mate, it is something us Aussies or some of us don’t want to remember. Vest remembers this test match as a twelve year old, played August 20-24 in 1938, the scores were.
England, 903 for seven declared. Australia, 201 and 123, English gents (Poms) beat the shit out of the Aussies. (Bludgers) By an innings and 579 runs. This matter is rarely mentioned in Australian cricket history.

The English cricket season lasts for three and a half months; during which it pisses down with rain for a third of the time. In Australia we have a sunny seven month cricket season. The weather conditions for the remainder of the year are far better than the English cricket season.. During the off season in OZ our greedy Oz cricketers trot off to England to play for English teams, thereby robbing English youngsters to play the game, its all money money money. The question arises, do fit English sporty persons want to play cricket when the earner is far greater for playing in the football codes for nine months of the year.

Australia is without doubt the ‘Lucky Country’.
Let us not kid ourselves that Australians are superhuman with a genetic makeup entirely different from other people in our world. The vast majority of us enjoy living conditions that are far and beyond better than most other countries.
We Australians have a head start when it comes to the opportunity to become proficient in outdoor sporting activities, it is without doubt we have the best climatic conditions in the World, although the U S A has a fairly good climate, It also has a huge population to choose their best sports persons from, and will always dominate because of this factor. Cash strapped; so called third world countries unfortunately rarely compete with their maximum talent.
European countries are basically into cold climate activities, such as (Association football or soccer), Rugby league, and Rugby and snow ice and above water sports. The adverse weather conditions are off-putting to prospective sports persons.
Getting out of a warm bed on a freezing cold morning about one third of the year. Treading gingerly across the cold floor even in summer and hoping summer will be on a Friday, Saturday and Sunday instead of the usual Monday or Tuesday does put a damper on out door activities when dressed in restricting volumes of warm clothing , hardly weather for cycling or swimming or even taking the dog for a walk.

Remember the truth is always more important than bending the facts to fit your own personal theory. But it is unfortunate that, not everybody shares that opinion.
vest@dailygaggle.com

Friday, 2 September 2016

Wednesday's Words for Friday.

CROCUS.
FOUNT.
SHAWL.
TORCH.
KNIFE.
NARRATIVE.
 This is my story.

      It was a cool but very wet Spring evening, .Although  someone had mentioned the appearance of the first (CROCUS), there was little time to stop and look for this beautiful spring flower as she made a dash for the door of her house in the pouring rain -  skidding in the wet grass her cell phone lost the grip of her hand .and  went flying into the (FOUNT). It was not a time to stop and search , but later she appeared when the rain had ceased wearing a (SHAWL) and carrying a(TORCH) Searching for and soon finding her now useless cell phone her foul (NARRATIVE) one could cut with a (KNIFE) lessening the anguish of her loss.
"Swear now,! for in heaven it will not be allowed."

Vest... Back soon.

Thursday, 1 September 2016

For Cricket lovers only

     It would seem that the Sydney Daily Telegraph  Sports writers have either been asleep or are bemoaning the fact that the Sri Lankans have handed out a good thrashing to the Aus  ball whackers in all forms of the game, yes by the team who recently were walloped by the poms or Englishmen if you wish to be polite.
     To add to this misery, the England one day cricket team have in the past two days established  another record by surpassing the previous scores of Aus and Sth Africa played on a short boundary pitch. a while back plus beating the individual score to add to their triumph with seven of their players not needing to bat in this debacle

Previous Individual score  168 now 171. previous Aus score 434,  Sth Africa 438. England now 444 with only 3 wkts down  on a pitch with longer boundaries.
There has been no mention of this info today and most likely if it is mentioned would have similar exposure as the hiding in the 1938 test at the oval in Surrey when  the England team beat Aus by an innings and 579 runs after scoring 903 for 7, the result in the Sydney Telegraph was hidden between a hair loss advert and another giving 10% off for a treatment for piles.

The last couple of days  has been dealing with health checks and other household matters which creep up on you when least expected , but all is well and shall be back on track soon.

Vest.... Back soon.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...