Friday, 12 August 2016

The blonde Mortician.


A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

8 comments:

lower deck lawyer said...

This could only happen in America, Mike.

Vest said...

LDL. Fortunately few if any Americans visit my blog so I shall deem your comment safe.
Mind you it could be true, plus not only blondes.

Andrew said...

I didn't see where that was going.

Elephant's Child said...

Echoing Andrew.

Vest said...

E C & Andrew. Several years ago I met a person who lived local and worked in a local hospital , He was from the USA and he showed me documented proof that he performed the autopsy on no other than the ultimate Blonde Marilyn Monroe. He was very descriptive of this lady's form in death which was not too complimentary.
I recall the day she passed away, Aug 5 1962, My wife and then 3 Children were at the Shamrock Hotel in Nathan Rd H/K having flown in from the UK to spend the next Two years at the Naval base.

Andrew said...

Let's face it. Marilyn was fat and gorgeous too. Nathan Road HK must be surely the most famous street. I've only been at HK airport. I will investigate the city when I am old. I do want to travel up to by train to ...........Mount........what?

Vest said...

Andrew. Nathan Road on the NT side not the island , stretches from the NT Star ferry terminal as far as Laichikok? in the NT, yes it is by far the busiest road or was as I recall.
I am afraid I am out of touch with the present geo form of H/K.
So many things have changed over the past 50 years. Pop 3,000000 now 7,000000.
Lgst Res was Shekpic 5000,000000 gals. now plover cove 130th, mil gals, plus another even larger.
KT Airport gone . New Airport on Lantau Island?. So much change

The brand new block of flats we lived in on Wongneichong Rd, H Valley as Ist tenants Dec 63, was demolished in 1997 to make way for larger flats.

Vest said...

Andrew . The Highest mountain in NT is Matawei, or spelt similar. I lost my brakes partially in my Ford prefect XX511 while descending, had to pump and use low gear, a dreadful moment.

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