Posts

Showing posts from June, 2015

Australian passports and more.

Going overseas no matter where you will require a passport, if it is a foreign or British passport you will have to have a valid Visa for your return to Australia. If your passport has expired, you will be required to apply for a new one, and this may be achieved by going on line for the info. Here is the problem., IT WiLL TAKE 9 WEEKS before it arrives back from merry England.. However if you are like some of my sons who are Brit Born and have not moved from Aus since their arrival in 1971 and have not become naturalized, not only will you have the previous problem but another denying you an Aus passport, which means a six month Wait to become a Aus Citizen after your application. The application for an Aus passport will take around two weeks and cost half as much as a Brit passport. There are concessions for the aged and infirm.. In the past there have been anomalies where sportsmen like Kepplar Wessells a springbok from Suid Afrika was allowed to play c

"I Believe its a coming."

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian, passing thru from Lame Deer. Another is a cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third is a fundamentalist Arab student from the Middle East, newly arrived at Montana State University. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around and the old windsock is flapping, but still no plane comes. Finally, the American Indian clears h

Spoonerisms. What is Your Favourite?

Professor Spooner after having delivered his speech regarding the retirement of the college Dean.. said  "Raise your glasses  ladies and gentlemen., I now propose a toast to our Queer Dean".   There have been many faux pas  in the past , some real political clangers and such, which one is your favourite?  BTW The Rev W Spooner was the  dean of  New College at Oxford university around the mid 19th cent. a pasty faced weired looking bloke.  Go on ... Have a go. Vest.... back later.

Saving your Life.

                                            CPR ON YOURSELF........................(different!!) 1 Let's say it's 7.25pm and you're going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job. 2 You're really tired, upset and frustrated. 3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. 4 Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far. 5 You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself. 6 HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. 7 However, these victims can hel

Birthdays... History... and Un Birthdays

     Today in Most of Australia  The Queen of the Commonwealth's Birthday will be celebrated Chronologically this elderly old crone lord bless her royal socks  will turn 89 years and 48 days of age. Her royal highness Aunt Betty will share her Birth year  with such notables as Marilyn Monroe June 1, 1926, Fidel Castro Aug 13- 1926  And David Attenborough May 8 1926, Also an old geezer named Vest ; Yours truly was born (yes born) On July 16-1926, Gorgeous Marilyn was pronounced deceased on Aug 4 -1962 the day I was posted and arrived in 'Fragrant Harbour H/K back in 1962.      However, it was on this day the ninth day of June in  632 the year of our lord that Mohammed the founder of the Islamic religion Died and  is currently cavorting with numerous virgins in that big Mosque in the heavens, but it was ten years earlier that Big Mo took flight from Mecca on July 16  622, which formed the foundation day for the Islamic Religion.( I sometimes wonder if the world would be a bett

Religeous Tolerance.

Subject: Tolerance 101  "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Sydney. I think it should be the goal of every Australian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance." “That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, 'The Turban Cowboy' and the other, a topless bar, would be called 'You Mecca Me Hot'." “Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called 'Iraq of Ribs'." “Across the street there could be a lingerie store called &quo