Monday, 18 August 2014

Warning to Australian Cricketers.

Aug 17. England Beat INDIA By an Innings and 244 runs in 3 days, see scores... go to Google "BBC Cricket". ** Nearly as bad when on Aug 24 1938 England beat Australia By an Innings and 579 runs in four days, played 20, 21, 22,24 Aug ** This is rarely discussed in OZ cricket boardrooms. BTW I am having serious problems with my computer may be off for a while. Vest.

Friday, 15 August 2014

Today August 15 is VJ Day. Not rpt Not VP day

     During my earlier years there was a cheapo wine being flogged around Britain  named VP  the grapes  which were used to produce it had been pressed more than once - with a bit of colour and other misc juices added so we were reliably informed by an insider at the production plant.
     Apart from the middle classes and upward few people had the taste for wine apart from the country bumpkins who made their own brews from an assortment of fruits and veggies IE parsnips and elderberries, produced the white and red and were the most favoured in my tiny village.
      And so it came to pass that The VP  logo  remained  in my mind as  something not quite the real thing.
     Most servicemen and women who were involved with the war against Japan  will remember the  fighting occurred in the South Atlantic as well as the Pacific regions also the Indian ocean. so to make it simple to remember it was originally named after the main enemy 'V J Day or victory over Japan Day.
     In Britain the victory against the Axis powers Which in the main were Germany Italy And Japan, plus Austria and Hungary was good reasoning to refer to the ending of hostilities as VE Day being that 95 percent of the conflict happened in Europe.
     However, like all good 'Turtle on the Fencepost' Australian Politicians' The short arsed Skinhead wee jolly Johnny Howard, another of the host of draft dodging chicken hawk fence post pollies, decided without a referendum to alter the title V J to VP for reasons of his own peculiar selfish attitude.
     The only time's  that I recall fighting the Pacific ocean were March 30-31- 1945 during a Typhoon  off Sakishima Gunto when all of the BPF Ships were going bows under;. also something similar in Sagami bay late Aug 1945.
     However I do have some very vivid memories being involved against the imperial forces of Japan; when I was aged from 17.5  years to 19.1years.

              TODAY IS V J DAY Lest we Forget.

       "Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future."

          Vest..... Back soon.


Requested by CA, USA.

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, a Doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leader
 
The old farmer said, "Well, as I see it, most Politicians are Post Turtles'.'' With very few not in this category! 
Not being familiar with the term, the Doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the Doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know the turtle didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of idiot put him up there to begin with." sic.

            

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Finally you must always be happy

         
            The catastrophe of the Caliphate.

     The Caliphate means absolute rule by a religious dictator. One Man holds the power to interpret and implements God's will
     Living under  such rule has historically proven traumatic to all concerned. ISIS  appears to be no exception - as it embraces a medieval (Plus Evil)  interpretation of the Muslim Sharia law..
     Incidentally these are the Blokes Alqaeda cut ties with because they were too extreme. The civil population of Ninevah in Iraq are now subject to ISIS, who have already begun executing its opponents, reports of Crucifixion's abound, women must be covered at all times and accompanied by a male relative . All drugs are banned  and graves are forbidden. caught stealing you lose your right hand (Left if you are a Mollydooker).  Question the Caliph's authority and you will be crucified.
     Finally you must always be happy.

Vest Say's..... Leave undone whatever you hesitate to do.......Back soon

BTW, It has rained at last, so now it is both wet and cold.!!
 


Sunday, 10 August 2014

Seems that wet weather attracts the Ducks.

The daily showers promised for the past week failed to materialise. The wild ducks feeding in our garden  flew off to places yonder  searching for the  weather famed for attracting Ducks.
No better place for wet weather(other than Bangladesh) is Manchester England  where the rainfall exceeds all other areas in the U/K for tiddling down, 
However, the most likely time for precipitation is when a Cricket test match is scheduled, to take place at the Old Trafford Cricket ground, which doubles for Manchester's  main  reservoir in the summer season, But why in heaven they play Cricket in Manchester beggars belief as the records tell us very few games or matches ever end in a winning result.the most favoured  news releases are 'Rain stops play', or 'Match abandoned due to rain.'.. But recently the whole spectrum has become unravelled and despite the accustomed wet weather a result in the game of cricket has emerged in Manchester due mainly to the  muddled brain of the  Indian cricket captain .
    On Wednesday 6th Aug It rained in Manchester and the scheduled start on Thursday was delayed . However the pitch was deemed playable despite the wet outfield  and India won the toss and did the unthinkable and decided to bat on a 'Wet wicket'. The term 'Wet Wicket' is widely known as an unfavourable situation'.
At that magical point in time a flock of ducks descended onto the cricket ground, but not those from our garden in Australia ; Even Aussie ducks can't fly as fast as the Indian cricket team Ducks..

If you are a null and void devotee of cricket or an American, the rest of this yarn will confuse you further than it has done already- but for serious OZ strayan cricket followers the Indian scoreboard at the end of their dismal innings  Included a test record of six players with no score; or in cricket terms SIX DUCKS from their total score of  152.in their Ist innings.

    There has been a result in this test match. England won by an innings and 54  runs with two days to spare probably another record - at least for Manchester..

BTW. A duck or no score in cricket is defined by the figure 0 nought in the score book, no score, 0 being the shape of a duck egg..

Enough to scramble yer brain ennit.

Vest ....Back soon.

     

Friday, 8 August 2014

Privilege, A great starter in life.

    Recently I took up the offer from the Sydney Daily Telegraph ( delivered daily to my door) to purchase  for $25 The World wide meanderings of David Attenborough in 14 DVDs, 54  bucks if you buy them daily from your newsagent.
I am and always will be a fan of David Attenborough, his wanderings around the English countryside were likened to my childhood days in the countryside. Frogs Newts sticklebacks the brook the ponds river ,birds, hay, rabbits, gardens. you name it, I was involved..

But that was where any similarities to DA ended.

     My life as a uneducated country bumpkin ended when at exactly ten years and five months of age. I was forced into a life of deprivation at Watts Naval Training School for five years and 22 days with Two  three week holidays per year , Summer and Xmas. then on the 7th day of Jan 1942 , I was delivered to the British Royal Navy when 15 yrs and 6 months old . my captors Barnardo's Homes. received a finders fee of 25 pounds Sterling. * (*equal to ten weeks pay for a farm  hand.)

By the age of 21  I had been in the Wartime Home fleet the Med fleet the east indies and the pacific wars, plus involved in the 'Exodous saga in the med in !947 and sailed a couple of hundred thousand miles.

Reading a biography of David Attenborough. It stated he was born eight weeks before me ,  and joined the British Royal  Navy as a middy I presume for his privileged national service at age 21. totally missing any conflict and stationed in Wales and Scotland leaving the RN when 23 as a Sub/ Lt. This came about by being nurtured by privilege, having wealthy parents and a college education. Or being a pacifist perhaps?

Our most indelible moments in the past are not lost though we have no particular poem to show for them; for those experiences have left unforgettable impressions, and we are ever reminded of them.

Have an exciting weekend, get out and smell the flowers.

Vest.... Back soon.


Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Yet another Faux Pas at our Local News Agent.shop.

Over the past few years several uncalled for situations have happened in our local news agency. foot in mouth statements like" we don't get many sales for sixty first wedding anniversary cards and do you know how much you are spending on Lotto have been among other little quips suggesting being old I must be bloody stupid.
Today it was 8-30 AM when I reluctantly removed my self from my warm bed to dash to the freezing  bathroom, It is winter here in sunny Budgewoi on the Central Pacific Coast of NSW OZ.
After Brekky and five Min's on my PC I prepared Dinner for today, read today's Sydney Daily Telegraph (delivered daily to my door) then later fed the wild birds and watered the garden.
Being told my wife Rosemary was thinking of taking a walk to the local shops, I presented her with our Lotto Winning coupons with a note which read '$90-75 TO COLLECT. THEN PUT SAME NUMBERS  BACK ON FOR MON WED and SAT.Thank you..
Shortly after I received a telephone call from the news agency when a female voice stated there is no money in the folder. I was cheesed off and stated The obvious, that the note indicates we have won and there is no need for money to  renew the punt for next week using the same numbers, But then I put my foot in it by saying "Even a rocking horse would understand that" , then the phone went dead her end...Shortly after my wife returned  home to inform me that the girl in the News agency was in tears when she left with the matter resolved.
Now I must ask myself should I apologise and bang my head on the wall as punishment or should I shop elsewhere or simply let it all go away.
OK Then; right or wrong I'll say "SORRY, And that will I hope Finish this silly Saga.

Vest back Soon.

Friday, 1 August 2014

The Passing Of Stanley Joseph Howard, R I P.

Today I read in my favourite newspaper the Sydney Daily Telegraph of the passing of Stanley Joseph Howard the  elder sibling of former PM' Wee little John Howard.
According to the eulogies read at Stanley J Howard's funeral , good old Stan was a successful Corporate Lawyer and Lover of Cricket. Maybe the fearful news of the ascending power of England's  cricketers recently thrashing India; sent him over the edge.
Now for you lovers of pollies and corporate loophole larry's, it may come as a surprise to you that Big brother Stanley was not always a squeaky clean manipulator of the law, I was reminded of the post which I wrote back in 2006, when a list of 'Good old Stans 'nefarious activities were exposed. Read on.

BTW. Sydney Daily Telegraph take note. In the lotto results today there is a major cockup.
Numbers read,  !3  31  40  2  25  35, supps, 20 & 35.. Can you spot the error?


Wednesday, 18 January 2006


THE AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTERS SIBLING IS NICKED FOR KNOBBLING SAPLINGS

The Australian Prime Ministers brother Stan Howard, will be prosecuted for chopping down dozens of endangered trees.
Stan Howard who owns two adjoining properties in Bowral in the Southern Highlands, faces a jail term or a hefty fine if found guilty of knowingly giving the chop to the threatened species on his Aus$6.2 million property.
The caretaker of the property Rohan Corby was visited by a local Ranger after a tipoff, who discovered about 60 trees had been destroyed.
Stan Howard it seems was dobbed in by a woman neighbour who had waited years for permission to cut down a small number of trees on her property she regarded a fire risk.
Rohan Corby stated that the work carried out by a contractor was to lessen fire and snake risk and control the Rabbit population.
Stan Howard told the ranger he thought the contractor knew that the work was legally carried out. 'This is not the case said the ranger' and the Australian Prime Minister's elder sibling was prosecuted and faces at least a year in the slammer or a Aus$110,000 Fine; or both. This is not the first time the brother of our Draft Dodging Chicken Hawk Prime Minister has landed in the poo. In 2000 National textiles collapsed under his chairmanship with debts exceeding Aus$29 million. The tax payers via the Fed Govt forked out Four million bucks in outstanding payments to 340 former employees.
Just another out sourcing job by greedy corporate pigs. It is more the pity we are unable to outsource Excess Useless and Uneconomical blood sucking politicians who allow their cronies to drain the public purse.
My dilemma at the polling booth is, that my wallet wants to vote Blue and my concience Red.
PS: I wonder if our little short arsed wimp of a PM will visit his big brudder in the slammer, would be quite amusing.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...
I hope he does not escape the drudgery of prison life by having his FILE ofax accompanying him
scumbagsaid...
you replied to me the other day that you got stoned. i didn't know aussies smoked weed!?! that's totally fucking rad man!
Mirandasaid...
The mental images this invokes are great. What do you think of John Howard, Vest? :)
Vestsaid...
Miranda: I try hard not to think of John Howard the career politician, I have personally crossed swords with that slimy snake.
Shortly before the Sept 11 incident, a minder of JH was aked by an American Journo
"ER the name of your PM is Mr Hunt is it not"
"No mate " came the reply,"But you nearly had it right".
Vestsaid...
For info only, I shall not be available, from now until Feb 10 06.
The Zombieslayersaid...
Just another out sourcing job by greedy corporate pigs. It is more the pity we are unable to outsource Excess Useless and Uneconomical blood sucking politicians who allow their cronies to drain the public purse.

What a bummer that your country is doing this too. So I guess it's not just American corporations that are so greedy that they'll sell out their own people for a quick buck. :(
gordonsaid...
hey that statement by the yank journalist. reminds me of the film 'porkies'when the dumb blonde walked around the bar asking 'Has anyone seen Mike hunt'
Zedsaid...
Yeah Gordon- saw two porky movies abit far fetched like shit from china
Zedsaid...
balls

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...