Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Not a Voortrekker in sight.

Took a quick squizz at the Daily Telegraph sport pages today, flipped the first dozen or so at the rear end, .mostly the usual Thugby league garbage. and lots of praise for Oz sporties in Haggis land.
There was no mention of any Cricket. The bevy of cranky Telegraph pro Oz - Pom baiters were probably at a loss to find some detrimental bilge to sling at the 'new awakening' in the English cricket test team; now devoid of Suid Afrikaners born of British parentage which formed the basis of much bellyaching from the Aussie  bludgerygalahs who have forgotten the likes of Temporary Ozzie's Brit Andrew Symonds and S African; Kepler Wessells and others who strengthened the OZ team in time's  of woe and the crying of a Kim Hugh's and the Oz PM during  the period the  Aussies couldn't win a game even if they cheated.
It seems the England Team declaring their First innings closed in the High 500s against India could be the catalyst for improvement in the England test team for a while.

Have a sporty day ....Vest ...Back soon.

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Can you do better than this or give up trying.

       
 
Once again readers are invited to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some examples
§ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
§ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
§ Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
§ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
§ Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
§ Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
§ Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
§ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, really bad.
§ Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
§ Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
§ Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
§ Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
 
 
Here are the submissions in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.


§ Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
§ Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
§ Abdicate v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
§ Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
§ Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
§ Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
§ Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
§ Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
§ Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
§ Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
§ Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
 
Add your submissions to these lists in the comment s section.

My wife who has a memory recall problem, suddenly this morning reminded me of a Lt David Griffith RN who was our neighbour in H/Kong in the mid 60's Who referred to the Tissues called Sneeze Proof Scotties , as Sqeeze Proof Snotties. David.  I haven't heard from  since leaving U/K in 1971. David would be about 78  now..

Vest... back soon.

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

She who seeks a Lord HeeWhore. prudes should not read this.

    Tacky Jacoui one of  our new brood of senators, a lusty female whose inner thoughts are rarely away from lustful fornication, had this to say on air when she  described her preferred type of male sexual partner.

They must have heaps of cash and they've got to have a package between their legs, let's be honest. I don't need them to speak.  Describing her ideal male partner.
On Air,
"Are you well hung"? To  a 22 year old caller 'Jamie'
:Hung like a donkey"replies J
She Say's "Oh is that right! I've got a 24 year old son who reckons he is too.. He says" that as well."
     In  a display of bad taste, Senator lambie spoke on commercial radio about her preference for well endowed men, To get the full story Try the "daily Telegraph , Which is delivered daily to my front. door.. Maybe Tacky Jacui was chasing the donkey vote.

Would the act of sex with ex army Female Corporal Jacoui Lambie, be classified as 'Corporal Punishment' and be banned  by law?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/tasmanian-senator-jacqui-lambie-attempts-to-find-boyfriend-on-australian-radio-are-you-well-hung-9621925.html

Excerpt from my memoirs

1944 WW2.




Alexandria, Egypt was enjoyable. The canteen at the Services
Club was super. Near the jetty, a dead dog floated upside down with his
legs up, all bloated and smelly. After avoiding it for a couple of days, my
duty as the bowman of the ship’s motor cutter gave me a chance to
dispatch it with a jab from my boat hook. It exploded. The ensuing smell
was probably worse than the pig market smell in Jordan Road, Hong
Kong on a warm day, but the fish enjoyed eating the thousands of little white squiggly things.
Alexandria, Egypt, more commonly referred to as ‘Alex,’ was very
diverse in the area of entertainment. This ranged from naughty post
cards to absolute obscenities. I must admit that as a young sailor,
curiosity got the better of me. I found a poorly printed locally- produced
publication doing the rounds of the mess decks. The titles left little to the
imagination. ‘The Naughty Countess’ was one and the other, ‘The
Autobiography of a Flea.’

The eye-opening information contained in these very naughty books
absolutely amazed me. In the Navy, these sorts of books were referred to
as Alex AFO’s (Admiralty fleet orders.) Many tales have been recounted
about a peculiar staged performance (which I hasten to admit I would
never have seen) supposedly taking place between a very large woman
and a donkey. War veterans have enjoyed many good laughs at reunions
when the fabricated telegrams from an Alex Madam were read, stating,
for example, “It is with regret that I inform you of the passing of the
internationally acclaimed donkey, ‘Lord Hee Whore’ aged fifty one years,
signed Fatima Omar, Madame, Sister Street, Alexandria, Egypt”. This
was usually followed by some drunken twit stating, “Cor blimey! That
bloody donkey led a long and fruitful life.”


Vest daily gaggle ...back soon.

Copying is bad ,Sorry about that.







 




 
 

Saturday, 19 July 2014

How would you deal with the worlds problems.

Talking to oneself can conjure up a heap of ridicule from unsympathetic bystanders, But if you are alone it can be done with impunity. Soliloquy or thinking aloud or soul searching without interruption from others around us is something we should all do more often, it is a great way to resolve any problems which we are confronted with.
I was once told many years ago  by my Music teacher who was a conscientious objector during WW2 that the Meek will inherit the earth and only drug and alcohol free pacifists who were truthful to the core were those qualified to advise the worlds population the correct path to the health and happiness of all creatures on this planet.
Feather nesting politicians rorting the systems who suffer from  degenerating solipsism; a mental disorder which shows them as the only one or self who exists with verifiable knowledge  are veritable running mates with the bunch of cretins whom we shall refer to as Solifidians  These persons do not use the thought processes, they use enshrined archaic wisdom written on goat skins by long gone idiotic scribes with less grey matter than a rocking horse or more simply described as persons who believe religious faith alone without works is all that is needed for justification
Being a cynical person I believe eventually some deranged govt in this world will drop a 'Big One' which will decimate mankind, or leave a bunch of meek pacifists to create a new world order with only a bunch of ugly Morlocks to sort out for generations to come
On the other hand should we continue  to encourage the demise of our loony war mongers by gifting them weapons of mass destruction?  until only the smoke and weeds are visible.

My heartfelt sympathy to those relatives of victims of the recent Malaysian Air disaster.

Vest.... back soon.

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overciming it.  (Moliere)

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Loud mouth Sheik just a Con Man...Plus . MUS reTARD in hot pickle.

     The Silly Jihad element in Australia continues to entertain. A suspected war criminal Khaled Sharouf who is or was a disability pensioner in Australia, has had his payments stopped. after it was discovered he had found gainful employment shooting his fellow people. At least he made it to the Middle East, but not so a guy named Musa Cerantonio.
       Cerantonioa a well known Bull/S artist and loudmouth  has fooled his fellow Jihadist's by instead of going to the middle East to fight for some jihadist lost cause, decided the Philippines was a much safer place and chose to make love and not fight (Which in anyone's book would be the wisest action to pursue). Cerantonio a self styled sheik stated on twitter he had made it to the Middle East and was engaged in fighting. However it seems his only fight has been in the bedrooms of Phillipino Hotels where he has been pounding the  mattresses with his local lover; a female fashion designer.
     Cerantonio,  somehow collected his ill gained pension payments until a sharp eyed centrelink person caught him out; who assumed he had found gainful employment like Khaled by shooting his fellow Muslims. These pension payments were used to pay for his amorous pursuits until he failed to pay his accom bills through lack of dosh which was his undoing and prompted a clash with the local Fuzz
The outcome of this charade will be interesting to follow up, by all accounts this war dodging wimp will certainly have much to answer to when he faces his fellow hardcore jihadist rello's on his return to Strayer who will most certainly " Not be amused"

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing.. (Muhammad Ali).

Vest.... back soon.

Update re Malaysian Airliner disaster July 17, 2014.

Going back one Year and one Day, my wife and I flew on a similar northern loop from Guangzhou China over Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Russia,Ukraine, Poland, Germany, Belgium and landed in Paris France, a 13.5 Hour flight, then a half hour flight to London.  I had spent my 87th Birthday on Chinese French and English soil.
We are considering going to the Sceptred Isle next year but will choose a more southerly flight loop, but not sure about flying Malaysian Airlines ....Vest.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Today in History July !6.

In the year of !926 , On July 16, VEST AKA ME was born  on a Friday At 21 Homerton Place, Hackney , London, E8, England.

In the year of 622.also on the 16th of JulyThe prophet Mohammad fled from Mecca and took flight to Medina.
'I suppose it was made possibly by the Then 'Magical Axminster Airways.'

The year of 1945 saw the explosion of the test 'Atom Bomb' in the New Mexico desert. This disastrous event unknown to me at the time;  happened on my Nineteenth Birthday while serving as a seasoned sailor on HMS KGV, during the Pacific War

The year of 1969 Apollo 11 left earth at 9pm BST July 16  for its flight to the moon,where it landed on my mums birthday.

In 1971 Reaching the age of 45 years while en route to Australia, my family of wife and five sons 4-17 and myself travelled to the top of 'Table Mountain' while in Capetown South Africa

In the year of 2013, My 87th birthday My wife and I while flying to England set foot in the C Republic of China, France and England on the same day.

In 1966 July 16. I retired from the British Royal Navy on Pension with Ann increases. I was at last free from bondage, and one of the happiest days of my life. being able to think for myself coupled with freedom of speech.


Remember; Nothing can stop any person with the right mental attitude from achieving their goal; and
nothing  on earth can help the person with the wrong mental attitude.

VEST.... Back soon.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

History ... On this day July !5 St Swithins Day.Yes it is Raining.

RIP Sister Ruth born this day 1928. One of many Cancerians within the bounds of my known relatives past and present . Approximately 31% of my known relatives  are Cancerians. including my mother, father, wife, myself,  two sons,  Ist  and 2nd grand children  and many more. However, July the main source of producing pacifist and loving persons, has produced a fair share of horrific happenings during the course of history.

On this Day.

In 1099 A delightful band of European Christian Crusaders capture Jerusalem and put it's Jewish and Muslim population to the sword. They then as good Christians  prayed for forgiveness I'll presume.

1685 . You will love this. ...On the orders of the Christian King James 2 of England, The Duke of Monmouth England, was beheaded eventually by an inexperienced axeman who took eight chops to sever the Dukes head, "Ouch".

1857 British women and children; taken by Indians at Cawnpore India, Are murdered in the second massacre of Cawnpore.

1977; Anti drugs campaigner Donald Mackay is presumed murdered  when he vanishes from his home in Griffith NSW Aus.

That's all, Back soon Vest.

The main culprits who ignore history and fail to learn from historic events and  it's mistakes are our
Dimwitted politicians.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Saturday was lost in pain and aborted.

Thanks to my selfish necessities, Sat the 5th of July the 80th birthday of our present family matriarch and wife to yours truly; 'Rosemary'  did not eventuate as promised and any jollity's intended or hype expected on this great milestone in a persons life simply failed on a miserable note.
   Yesterday on waking my right wrist and forearm were in pain, this pain accelerated in the next couple of hours and I was advised by my Son Chris and Wife Rosemary to visit the 'Emergency Dept at our local hospital 15 minutes ride away. It was 12-10 pm when we arrived at the hospital, I went through the system ; such as physical assessment, blood tests, an ex ray  and a sample of liquid was taken from the joint by a big hypo needle and despite the anaesthetic beforehand the ensuing nauseating pain  during this simple exercise was not what one would wish for too often,.However , the Doctor made my day by returning to his task saying' unfortunately I haven't drawn out enough for the test, so there was another  painful performance. Shortly after at 5-20 pm  the sample was sent by cab to Gosford hospital 45 mins away, and from what was perceived from the conversation heard in the Doc's office it arrived at 7-10pm, according to the lab people at Gosford Hospital when the result arrived back at 8- 40 pm. A prescription was prepared and I was given this with instructions at 8- 50 pm . Chris who I had phoned earlier was waiting  for us in his car when we left at 9-5.
   On our arrival home we did our level best to make the rest of the day  more pleasing for the birthday girl . This morning on waking I took the  pills I was given and on rising had a thumping headache , I am now uncertain what caused  the headache . However , 80% of the pain has disappeared and typing isn't too difficult.
My wife wishes to sincerely thank the persons who sent cards and messages for her 80th Birthday.

Vest ....Back soon. ......Remember "Anything you are good at contributes to happiness."