Thursday, 10 April 2014

The Vicars False Teeth.

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first
Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following
Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.





The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and
They asked him what happened.





The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
Talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
To talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
Wife's' teeth in by mistake and for some reason he couldn't shut up...










So much for garrulity, in the next few days there will be a forced silenced from me
this will be due to my PC having a overhaul, hope to be back soon. ...Vest.



 
The Deaf/Mute Italian Bookkeeper:

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 Million.
His bookkeeper is a deaf/mute. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that
Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer,
Who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says
He doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the
Shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."


Don't you just love Honest lawyers?

3 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Hmm. It sounds as if he needs to change dentists...
Hope the overhaul goes well.

River said...

Hahahahahaha!!!

Rosemary Vella. said...

Very good I enjoyed that. Hope u r all keeping well.v

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...